A/N: This is inspired by 'A Knight's Tale' so if you haven't seen that movie I doubt that you will find this as funny as I do, because some of the jokes are from it. Also you won't get the punch line worth shite. This is basically what my twisted mind comes up with when I watch aforementioned movie at around three o'clock in the morning with my best friend who is almost as insane as I am. Which is saying something. Anyways, if you don't have a sense of humor then don't read this, because I will NOT tolerate flames. Of course I own neither Eragon or A Knight's Tale, so for crying out loud don't sue me!

A Rider's Tale

"I'm in love." Eragon was the one who spoke. He was sort of just talking, but since Murtagh was the only other person in the room, he assumed his young friend was talking to him.

"With who? Please don't say me."

"I'm not gay."

"Really?"

"Shut up."

"I mean, why not gay? You're practically everything else. The rock, the hard place, the protector of Italian virginity, we REVEL in the garden of your turbulence! The one, the only, Eragon the Dragon Rider!"

"Firstly, what the shite is wrong with you? Secondly, what exactly is Italian?"

"Not sure and no clue. Or maybe it's no clue and not sure. Or prehaps not clue and no sure. Or maybe..."

"Shut up Murtagh, just shut up."

"Anyways, back to the love thing. Who?"

"Arya." Eragon replied all misty-eyed. "But I don't think she notices me."

"Write her a letter."

"A letter?"

"A letter."

"A letter?

"A... let's shut up now or we'll be here all night."

"Alrighty then!" Eragon whipped a piece of parchment a quill out of thin air. "Let's begin, 'My dearest Arya."

"Did you just pull that out of your pants or something?"

"Actually..."

"Nevermind. I don't want to know."

"Have you ever heard of back pockets, Murtagh?"

"In a word, no."

"You are so sick-minded."

"I know."

"Anyways. 'My dearest Arya..."

"How about 'I like your breasts'? Wait, no, that's no good. I always used to say to my father, 'I could pass the peices of my broken heart through the eye of a needle. How about that?"

"Ok." Eragon scribbled it down. "Waitaminute. You said that to your father? Oh ewww."

"What! Obviously you weren't abused as a child."

"Obviously I wasn't. I like the breasts idea though. 'Your breasts... hmmm... your breasts..."

Arya, who had been standing at the door for some time now, finally spoke up. "What about my breasts, Eragon?"

"Your breasts... they're below your throat!"

The End. REVIEW!