Yuuhiru's Nonsense
Hello, fellow Xenosaga (or should I say: chaosxCanaan) fans! This is my first Xenosaga fic, and I hope it will go well. Anyways, first of all, I know this story will suck. Second, I've tried my best, so don't sue me. I'm not 'that' detailed and all, but... Yea... Well, last but no least, I don't care about flamers, so there's no point in sending me any because it just makes me write better. Oh, and don't send me flamers on purpose to make me write better if you think I suck. I'll get mad, really mad...
I can't wait for Xenosaga III to come out! Sadly, the new episode isn't coming out until October 2006. DAMN! Also, I think that it's going to be the last episode to come out in english. Double damn! I'm going to have to wait longer... Oh, the pain... Ha ha ha.
I've already seen their pictures and they all look so cool! They have new clothes. It's so awesome...! One of my friends asked me, "Are Shion and KOS-MOS trying to be strippers or something? Because they look like it!" I laughed my ass off. The one thing I hate about Shion's costume is the fur on her jacket! Poor animals! They're making it look like she's an animal hater or something! (Screw the costume designers!)
DIE ANIMAL KILLERS!... Yes, I know. I'm insane.
Canaan's able to sleep in beds and stuff. He's a SPECIAL Realian... Ha ha.
Yeah... That's pretty much it...
Okay, off with the first chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Xenosaga, but I wish I do! (Nya ha!) I own Yuichi and a few more OC's appearing later on.
Chapter One: I Disappeared From Your Life
(The Elsa, Mens' Cabin- 3:41 A.M.)
"Nngh!" I shot my eyes opened and sat up quickly, almost toppling out of my bed. My head was spinning and my body was hot. I drew deep breaths and licked my lips, looking over to the digital clock on the nightstand next to my bed. Damn... It's only 3:41... I growled, wiping the beads of sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.Why is it that I felt him lingering on my lips? It's been so long since I've tasted him... But... It was all just a dream, so why did it feel like I actually kissed him, carressed him, tasted him?... That we made love? I blushed.
I drew in a deep breath, combing through my messy hair with a bit of difficulty. It was just a dream, and some dream wasn't going to keep me from sleeping. I'm going back to bed... I fell back on my bed, my eyes fluttering closed as I felt sleep taking over me.
But then...
There warm sensation was forming in my belly and there was a strange feeling in my loose pajama pants. Nervously, I peered under my blanket, shocked. WHAT! This hasn't happened for 11 years! Until now! I could feel the color rising in my cheeks again as I slipped out of my bed, standing up quietly and glancing with a strained look on my face at the person in the bunk above mine. The silver-haired, green-blue eyed, tan-skinned pretty boy...
chaos.
Why does he have to sleep above me? I meekly thought. Scary, scary... Is he TRYING to haunt my dreams?
'He' was fast asleep, a serene look of peace sketched in his features. He looked like an magnificent piece of art: drop-dead gorgeous, sweet and powerful, yet fragile and gentle. I smiled softly, reaching out to caress his cheek. No, Canaan! Don't! He'll wake up!... But my hand wouldn't stop moving. It was like some force was drawing my hand towards his beautiful face. Can't... Stop.. Mustn't... Touch his...Right when my palm grazed against his skin, he stirred. Face, I thought nervously. I bit my lip, trying to pull my hand away, but I stood frozen. Was he going to wake? Ah, damn... How am I suppose to explain myself?
Instead of finding myself looking in his eyes, he snuggled against my hand, letting out a sigh and smiling.
I chuckled softly to myself, shaking my head side to side.
I I looked across the room at my so-called 'companions' who were sleeping... peacefully. I twitched. Yeah right.
Captain Matthews was muttering about all the different kinds of liquors and beers. Although his bed was a bit far from mine, I could tell that he was drooling nonstop on his pillow. Every day, Hammer was forced to clean up his slobber. Pathetic. Tony, of course, was dreaming about girls. He's moaning and bucking his hips against a pillow... Eh... Hammer's not snoring. Amazingly. Usually, when Hammer snores, he sounds like a hurricane or something. And then when he inhales... It's like he's going to suck you into a swirling vortex of death. Heh...
Smirking, I turned my gaze back to chaos.
He looks so cute...
I want to hold him again...
I want to kiss him...
I want to touch him...
I want to taste him too...
My face began to heat up as I felt my arousal growing hard..
EH! I'm getting all heated up again!
I pulled my hand away from his cheek, hesitating for a moment, and snatched a towel and bathrobe from my closet, speeding out of the mens' cabin and nervously towards the bathroom.
I REALLY have to take a shower. Perferably, cold.
(Shower- 3:52 (Heh heh...))
I closed my eyes, sighing in content and leaning slightly on the wall, tilting my head backwards, facing the stream of water. Although the water was quite soothing, it wasn't soothing enough to wash away the thoughts in my head and the pain in my heart.
... Ever since the incident eleven years ago, I've disliked the feeling of love. All those sappy romance novels ane movies and couples walking around hand in hand...
I just hate it.
Not being able to walk around with him, enjoying life and our friends existence, enjoying each other... It hurts me...
Deeply...
Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and dried off my hair before drying off the rest of my body.
Right after I got dressed, I walked back to the cabin, a scowl on my face. No matter what, these memories and thoughts that I want to forget will forever remain tangled around my empty soul...
Stupid love...
The next day...
(Mens' Cabin- 7:50 A.M.)
/Tired.../
Why the hell does it feel like my emotional barrier is going to crack?
"Ohayou Goizamasu (1), Canaan! Time to eat. Let's go!"
Why does it feel like the chest that I'm holding, locked away in the back of my twisted mind, is going to break open?
It's almost as if I'm going to explode...
"Canaan!"
I don't want to rememeber any of it, but my soul won't allow me to.
"Earth to Canaan?"
I want to discard these pathetic memories away. I want to erase these cursed scars on my heart.
"Are you dead or something? Or are you sleeping with your eyes open?"
Pathetic... Heh. They're not pathetic...
They're the most pleasant memories I've ever had...
"C'mon! Shelley and Mary made your favorite- Mochi (2)! Even though it's a dessert!" )A/N: Heh heh. Trying to get Canaan's attention.
Even though I cherish them...
They're to painful for me to think about.
"Canaan! HELLO?"
Unlike him, I can't tear them away from my soul.
Unlike him, I'm stuck with these memories for life...
"DAMMIT, CANAAN! WILL YOU STOP IGNORING ME?"
I yelled in shock, falling back with my chair to the plush blue carpeted floor with a loud THUD. Shaking my head side to side and sitting up with a bit of difficulty, I lazily looked up at the young redhead who caused me to. Why couldn't it have been MOMO or someone else?
Rubedo was staring at me with a hint of concern in his cerulean eyes. "What's up with you? You've been spacing out for the last few days! Like when you were walking down the hallway. I was trying to teach MOMO how to use an airboard at that time when Allen popped out of nowhere and scared the wits outta us! Then MOMO accidently let go of the board when she wasn't suppose to since it was ready to fly off and it slammed right into you because you weren't paying attention! Then it snapped into two! And it was a good board!"
"Sorry. Let's go." I sluggishly stood up and brushed past him, starting my little walk to the Elsa's bar. I knew that it wasn't enough to shut him up, since he has one of the biggest mouths ever.
"Yo! Canaan! Wait!" I continued walking. He growled. "Canaan! I didn't mean to get you mad! I'm not mad either! I'm just worried!" I muttered out 'okay then' and I could sense him exploding with anger. "Cut the crap already! Stop ignoring me!" I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at him, my eyes penetrating through him like deadly daggers. He froze and I knew that a shiver ran down his spine. "Don't look at me like that! I just want to help!" Scoffing, I began walking again. "Grr... Canaan, I'm not playing games with you! I'll... I'll shoot you down like I did to that Realian a few days back!" This time, it was me shivering. I gulped and picked up the pace, almost sprinting towards the door. I thought I heard his guns cock, which made me run. "Canaan! I was just kidding! CANAAN! CA-"
The doors slid closed behind me. Thankfully. /Satisfied/ I came to a screeching halt, almost sliding into the wall. Why does Captain Matthews make the androids polish the floors every hour now? The floors are squeaky clean and you could slip easily! What if we were being attacked! We might skid across the floor and bump into the enemy, unarmed, unprepared!.. Maybe I'm over reacting a bit.
I stood hunched over, panting.. Jeez, Rubedo's such a pain in the morning. I hate it when he starts talking non stop and following me everywhere. It's like he's a puppy trailing after his owner.
Luckily, Jr. doesn't go this way to the bar. He goes on his own little trail. Besides, he'd get lost around here. Ha, ha, and HA.
... I keep on getting these headaches... And the pain keeps on coming back...
I shook my head and continued on my journey to the bar. It's amazing how quiet it is in the morning without all those androids zipping back and forth through the place, the constant yelling from Captain Matthews, the various conversations between everyone, Jr.'s big mouth chattering away, and Allen's loud sobbing (I have no clue whatsoever on why he cries like some child all the time). It was so silent, so peaceful... Like that day a long time ago...
/Sadness, Pain/
I shook my head again. Don't, Canaan! Stop thinking about it! You survived then years without that pain coming back and you can survive longer!
I think I'm getting another headache...
"Canaan!" chaos wrapped his arms around my neck and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips. He beamed at me, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck."After the meet with Helmer, let's go off to the Kukai Foundation. I heard than Jr. and Nigredo are working over there. Also, we can have some time alone..." He chuckled. I put on a fake smile, trying my best not to burst out in tears. I can't believe he didn't wake up through the whole thing... That bastard must've put a spell on him...
"chaos..." I pressed my body closer to his, my heart sinking with every second that passed. I rested my chin on top of his head, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry."
There was a long moment of silence before he spoke. "Sorry?..." He raised his head up and looked at me, a questionable look on his face. "For what?"
I bit my lip. His depths were filled with confusion and wonder as our eyes locked. I couldn't bear to look in his eyes, knowing that I was going to explode any minute. I dropped my head down, my bangs shadowing my face. "Canaan?"
A single tear slipped down my cheek. "I'm sorry," I breathed out. Without hesitation, I brought my hands up to his face and pressed my lips against his. He moaned into my mouth, wrapping his arms tighter around my neck and kissing me back. I wanted for this to last, I didn't want for it to end... The minutes that I clutched onto him not wanting to let go seemed like an eternity...
I wanted for this to last forever.
But when he went limp and collapsed in my arms, I knew that it was over...
And I knew that sadly, it was the last kiss I was to recieve from his soft lips.
"Nnh..." I pressed my palm agaisnt my temple, trying to relax my mind. Stupid past...
You can't forget...
... I can...
Your heart will not allow it.
... I scoffed, kicking at a crate nearby as I walked, disgusted with myself.
Maybe I need some kind of medicine...
Ha ha. Maybe a kiss from 'him' will do... A teasing voice said.
I stopped in my tracks, shocked. How did she find me! I thought I cut alll links with her! Yuichi! How the hell did-
Well, I haven't been talking to him, but I had his link. When I found out that he had met up with you, I was able to find your link! Yuichi let out an evil laugh. I wish she had forgotten about him so that she wouldn't have been able to find me... So, how've you been, tough guy? Have you and him been having any steamy, hot, touchy-feely 'moments' while I've been gone? Or times where you two were alone and just held each other and said I love you to each other over and over again? Come on! Spill!
Right at that moment, I felt like I had been shattered to pieces. Like my heart was being teared apart by the claws of a monster. Like I would never be whole again. It was the feeling that was causing all this pain. The one I wanted to get rid of. And now, it had been complete. Just because of those words questions she asked me. I collapsed to my knees, wallowing in a pit of sadness and utter despair. Pain was searing out through my body, making me feel so fragile and weak. I pulled my knees up to my chest, burying my face into my arms. My body began to shake in frustration, the thoughts I didn't want to think about, the thoughts stuck at the bottom of my mind, reaching the surface of the deadly ocean in my head. Great... I'm remembering again. All those memories... They've reached the surface...
Damn it.
I think she knew what my reaction was. A long silence lingered in the air before she spoke. Canaan... You didn't... Did you? Was she furious with me? Was she going to knock the wind out of me? Well, if she had the chance?
... I... I had to... It was so hard... He suffered... My eyes began to burn and I screwed them shut. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't. It wasn't going to change anything. To sob my pitiful eyes out. It wasn't like 'he' would suddenly come to me, the pieces of his heast that I stole from him returning to him with each step he took as he moved closer. It wasn't like he would kneel down in front of me and wipe the tears that were falling from my eyes. It wasn't like he would then cup my cheeks and place his soft lips against mine.
Crying wouldn't change what I did.
Somehow, I felt Yuichi's presence next to me. Her arms wrapped around my form. Comforting me, soothing me. It was as if she was really her.
Infact, right at the sound of her voice, I knew she was. "Aw, Canaan. It's okay. Don't cry. I'm not mad at you, either."
"I'm not crying."
"Don't be a tough ass."
"Hnn..."
"... Canaan?"
I lifted my head up; luckily, my eyes were dry. "What?"
Yuichi's pink lips curled into a smal frown. "Why did you do it anyway?"
I bit my lip, casting my eyes down to the floor. "It's going to take a while to explain..."
"Well, shoot! Tell me the whole story while he head to the bar! I wanna see him! It's almost been ages!"
Great. Now I'm going to be introducing everyone to Yuichi, the second to Rubedo in the Most Annoying Catergory.
(Elsa's Bar- 8:30 A.M.)
"Wow... Canaan... That's.."
"I know. It's stupid. But I didn't want to do that just to save him. So.. I had to..."
Yuichi put her hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "It's okay. I totally understand. Even though you took away his memory, you didn't kill him like he asked. So... Are you going to do something about it? I mean, he's gone. And my cousin SHOULD be free by now!"
"... I don't know..."
Minutes later, we reached the bar. "Okay then. Here we are. Just don't go all wild, okay?"
She nodded, her long silver black-dusted tresses flying, and gave me a big grin. "Roger, sir!"
I smiled back, but I knew that she would go crazy anyway.
Almost sliently, Yuichi and I walked into the bar. Of course, everyone was enjoying their breakfast: Shion was sitting in between Jin and Allen, who was blushing furiously as he talked to her. Heh. Of course. MOMO and Rubedo were laughing loudly with red faces, Hammer broadly grinning at their outburst. I guess he told them something extremely hilarious for the two to be laughing crazily like that. Tony and Mary were deep in conversation. Or maybe their just looking deeply into each other's eyes... Captain Matthews just started yelling at Hammer... Ziggy looks a bit uncomfortable... He was sitting in between the giggling duo. Ha ha. And right across from KOS-MOS was-
"CHAOS-CHAN (3)!" Yuichi yelled loudly, almost in my ear. Everyone yelled in shock. I winced, rubbing my ear with the palm of my hand as she rushed over to her cousin, tackling him out of his booth. It looked like chaos's spine was going to snap from her bone-breaking hug... From how Rubedo looked (wide-eyed, mouth open), it seemed that he thought that she was trying to molest chaos...
"Whoa! Yuichi!"
"Oh joy," I muttered, closing my eyes and running a hand over my face, gripping the front of my hair and shaking my head. When I opened one eye, I saw Ziggy staring at me with a confused look on his face. I just chuckled sheepishly, shrugging.
"HI! Long time no see, cousin! How's it going? Are you okay? Have you been training? Did your hair grow? Did you get any taller? Are all these people your friends?" She was pounding him with questions. chaos looks like he's losing his breath...
Okay, he WAS.
"Yuichi... Choking... Not.. Breathing!" chaos managed to say.
She finally let her cousin out of her grasp, sheepishly smiling as she pulled him up to his feet. He gulped in air, refilling his lungs."Eh heh heh... Sorry! I just haven't seen you for such a long time!"
chaos shook his hair out of his bluish-greenish eyes, smiling back. Heh heh... Cute.. I bit my lip, feeling the color rise in my cheeks as I turned around, waiting for the blush to go away. "It's okay. I'm glad to see you, too." She squeaked and gave him another big bear hug, not squeezing the air out of him this time. "Oh and I'm fine,. Yes, I am. Of course! Sorta. Just two inches. Yes, they are very good friends of mine." Nice. He answered all her questions in order. She grinned. "Uh... How did you get here anyway?"
"Teleportation ring! Flare gave it to me. Also, I tracked Canaan down, so... Yeah... Well, he was pretty easy to find!"
"Well, it's good to see you here!" chaos turned to look back at everyone, grinning nervously at them. "Um, I sincerly apologize, everyone. This is older cousin, Yuichi."
Shion smiled. "Well, there is a bit of a resemblence between you two. I'm Shion Uzuki and this is my older brother, Jin."
"Nice to meet you two!"
As Yuichi met with everyone, chaos was smirking slightly at me as he smiled. I raised an eyebrow, looking at him with tired eyes. "What?" He took a step closer to me, getting up on his tiptoes and leaning in close. His eyes looked so childlike: bright and glints of wonder in his eyes. He looked so adorable...
And he was WAY too close!
"You let her track you down THAT easily?" I cocked my head to the side, trying my best to avoid his gaze as I blushed. He stared at me, his eyes intense...
His reaction was... Unexpected.
He burst out laughing, hunching over and clutching his stomach. I stared at him with wide, confused and shocked, eyes, trying to figure out with the hell was going on. Everyone paused, surprised like I was, staring blankly at the laughing young man.
"Hahaha! Canaan! Youre blushing! Ha ha!"
I felt my face growing hotter. When he finally caught his breath and saw the look on my face, he began laughing again, joined with Rubedo.
chaos's laughing was okay.
"Hahahahahaha!"
Rubedo's laughing was painful to the ears...
"AHAHAHAHA! CANAAN'S BLUSHING AROUND A GUY!"
And he went TOO far on that one...
"... WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!" I yelled in fury, chasing after the laughing redhead.
"CANAAN'S PISSED OFF! THIS IS HILARIOUS! HAHAHA!"
"URUSAI YO (4)!"
"WAHAHA- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
(Elsa's Bridge- 7:25 P.M.)
I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "Um.. Canaan?" I turned around to see chaos with a sheepish smile on his face. "Don't you think you were... a little to hard on Jr.?"
I snorted in response, crossing my arms turning my back on him. I had beaten the little pest up and hung him upside down from the ceiling in the men's cabin. "No way! He accused me of being gay."
Which is a TRUE fact, Yuichi laughed.
SHUT UP, YUICHI!
HA HA!
chaos snickered, which caused me to smile a bit.
"Well, I'm almost done here. After I find us a hotel to stay at in Kilka, let's go to the bar. I want a drink."
"Beer?"
"No! Soda!"
I chuckled. "So, what hotel are we staying at?" I asked, leaning back against his desk and throwing a peppermint in my mouth.
"Krystal Waves Hotel."
"ACK!" I felt the peppermint slid off my tongue and down my throat. Yes, I'm choking.
I have a perfect reson as to why.
"CANAAN!" chaos quickly got out of his chair and ran towards my side. He was about to wrap his arms around my waist to help when I spit it out, taking in deep breaths. He let out a relieved sigh. "Canaan, don't scare me like that! I was worried!"
Finally catching my breath, I shut my eyes closed and leaned casually against his desk, smoothing my hair back. "Sorry. It sorta... slipped."
I heard a chuckle from him. "Sure it slipped. If you didn't spit it out, we would've been at your funeral!" There was a moment of silence before he went back to typing.
I grunted. Krystal Waves Hotel...
Great. Another thing to worsen me up.
I know it was short and not so good, but please forgive me!
Anyways, here's the translations for the Japanese words:
Mochi - Rice cake, often quite sticky and used in various dishes especially desserts. Also used in nabe or shabu-shabu.
Ohayou Gozaimasu (o-hah-yo go-zai-mas ('u' is silent)) - Good Morning.
-Chan (chahn) - Suffix meaning darling or little one, a term of affection usually reserved for romantic partners, female friends, male friends, small animals or children.
Urusai yo (ooh-roo-sai yo) - Shut up
Yeah... Well I hope I can get the second chapter up quickly... I'm such a lazyass... XD Meh... Okay then... Ja ne! R&R!