Disclaimer: I don't own cheese doodles or Twilight. Sadface.
Charlie sat in his living room, alone ever since his daughter had married that Cullen boy. He scowled at his ceiling, remembering the warning he had given Cullen the day of the wedding. Charlie wondered how he was treating his daughter, his only child. He sighed heavily as his stomach grumbled. Another result of Bella moving out was that he had to make food for himself. So he had resorted to junk food. He went to his kitchen, and got out a bag of cheese doodles, in a mood for fake dairy products.
He sat back on the couch as he watched the game, and began to eat his cheese doodles. Absorbed in the game, and not paying attention to his hands, he accidentally shoved a cheese doodle up his nose, and yelped in pain. Once the endorphins kicked in, Charlie felt amazing. It was like a natural high! Gingerly, experimenting with this new feeling, he thrust the snack in and out of his nostril, moaning when it scraped the inside of his nose, the fragrance of cheese filling him up. He failed to hear the knock at his door, and was shocked to hear a tentative "Charlie?" from the other side of his living room.
"Billy?" Charlie's eyes shot open. "What are you doing here?"
"I just stopped by to see the game with you, and you didn't answer your door. I had to make sure you were alive," Billy laughed good naturedly. "Is…that a cheese doodle?"
"Um….yeah," Charlie could feel himself blushing. "Wanna watch the game still?"
"You're hard," Billy gasped, noticing the bulge in his friend's pants. "I gotta head back…gotta go comfort Jacob, he needs me…"
Billy wheeled himself to the forest, and let out a wail of shock. He was never seen again.
"Funny, thought Jacob went to Alaska," Charlie muttered to himself.