Brad plays DDR
Brad isn't exactly what you'd call the skinniest person in the world. In fact, he was inhumanly fat. 250 pounds of fat jiggled around his poorly-muscled body. He had counted 6 chins. He had boobs that Pamela Anderson could only hope to have. And to top it all off, his IQ was roughly the same as a shovel. This is exactly the kind of person you DON'T want to be playing DDR.
But you know what? He plays it anyway.
Not that he's good or anything. He will probably be stranded on Light forever. He used to play at home, but after breaking his 12th pad he realized it would be better to play with the sturdy arcade machine. So, after school one day, he went over to the arcade. Thankfully, nobody was playing DDR at that moment. He went over to the machine and slipped 3 quarters in.
He, of course, chose Light mode. He first decided to play a 2-footer to get "warmed up." Everybody knows that you can't warm up if you suck, since warming up implies that you are going to be good. He got a D on the first song, missing almost 30 notes, but it was a good score for him. He was panting and heaving but he pressed on. Next he played a 5-footer, which he had never tried before.
In the meanwhile, a crowd had gathered, made up mostly of smart-ass teens. They made fun of his humongous fat ass. It didn't help Brad's self-esteem much, but he thought, "I'll show them. I'll get an A on this song!" But it was a 5-footer, and Brad had never passed a 5-footer.
The song started, as well as Brad. Chest heaving and stomach flabbing, he made his way through the first 10 notes missing only 6. But this is where the trouble started. Human hearts were not designed to take the punishment of a 300 pound boy jumping up and down wildly. It struggled to pump blood through Brad's gigantic body. Brad missed the next 25 notes, his legs barely moving at all.
All of a sudden Brad's heart stopped altogether. He kept going for several seconds, but then fell sideways off the pad, landing face first. He lay still. People began laughing uncontrollably. They poked him and threw garbage at him. He still did not respond. Several of the teens that had gathered to laugh at him spat on his fat body.
Slowly, the crowd dispersed. Nobody thought that Brad was going to die. They had thought he had just passed out from exhaustion. But as the arcade closed, his body was still there. The manager threw it out onto the street, where it was eaten by some hobos.
His mom, being a fat-ass herself, had a heart-attack upon hearing of her son's death.
Let this be a lesson to all you fat losers out there: don't play DDR unless you want to end up like Brad.