To Those Of No Thought
By Himig
Summary: [One-Shot][Pre-KHII] Ansem went through the Fourth Wall and searched through Fanfiction,Net. Most amused by the fanfics about Roxas, he writes of the folly in the stories about the Nobody.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. No real fanfics were harmed in the story.
Author's Note: First time to write this kind of story, especially in first-person. My inspiration: Lolita and Black Cat – don't get any ideas. I was inspired by the narration, not the story. I never read Lolita, but I had ideas of how the narration could have gone.
I wrote this in the hopes people would read and review Kingdom Hearts: "Essence"! Yes, I am honest! But there's also something I noticed as a Roxas fan, and something I want to say.
In the end, Ansem's story becomes more involved!
Warning: Read until the end and swallow every word. Feel free to get angry, but not at me!
To Those of No Thought
Addressed to those of no thought, suggested to those with who have
I rested my head for a while when a spectacular light greeted me.
This has been an event I never expected. Constantly, I worry of my 'life' in fear of ceasing to disappear, even before I could live and undo my mistakes. Perhaps it was my constant recollection of the past of the beautiful paradise I once solemnly ruled that was now gone, constantly haunting me of reaching its destruction when I sought to study to protect it, that kept me 'alive'. I can feel nothing but regret, sorrow, and anger – madness.
In the Realm of Nothingness, there are no days and nights that I could count. Though one would say time was running endlessly, it is clearer to say time had completely halted. I am governed by memories that bring only pain, yet I cling to this pain for it keeps me 'alive'.
In one time, just in the time I have first mentioned, I recalled my good friend, a small king, but with large ideas, from another world. He, for once, brought me joy in this void, because his laugh makes life with a mere echo from the past, and I feel 'alive' just thinking of our times together.
I rested my head for a while – I felt as empty as this void, listening to an echo I could only catch for once like a running wind, and then it was gone. And then, it was when a spectacular light greeted me.
I found the light familiar and I soon realized I was in a 'dimension'. I saw pixels of blocks amidst the empty white space and saw I was becoming the same. My friend and I once discussed this: data, but I never realized to get this close to the vague concept by this chance.
I thought it not best to experiment. It brought nothing but bitterness of my mistake, so I simply thought best to return: either to the Realm of Nothingness or in one of the worlds, if ever he gets the luck. I thought of "Kingdom Hearts". Thought always had the power. Simply see how I am still 'alive'.
The thought of 'Kingdom Hearts', a place even I haven't been into, was something I thought best since the Heart has always been the center of the universe. The two words certainly proved something, but I did not return to anywhere at all.
Pages began raining beneath me. The pages did not flip or fold like paper, but they ran down me like, literally, rain. I saw characters some I could not recognize, but most held characters I understood. I looked up and saw a 'hole' in the light. I simply raised my arm and sought to grab it, and then I flew and past through a wall, and the light was filled with blue, black, and red text. Above, I saw a blue banner hanging. In white color, a text said: Fanfiction,Net – unleash your imagination.
The word 'fan-fiction' was not familiar to me, but I recognize 'Fiction' and knew 'Net' but I wonder if it is what I think the word means.
I searched for more clues about my new environment and saw something like a directory: Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search.
I recognized all these words. When I saw a small icon of a book, it made sense to me that this was a collection of literary pieces – fictional, as the title said 'unleash your imagination'.
While this was very interesting, I feared that I may truly get lost and that I have taken the step to the fate already. After all, how is this data library 'Kingdom Hearts'?
Answers that raise more questions happen in front of me. A blue-underlined text hovers above a black text that contained familiar words to me. I was struck and somehow excited at the thought: are these data-recorded events? Is this dimension a collection of the past?
I may be committing the gravest mistake (again) but if, perhaps, I read it, then I could find a way to leave this and resurface a real world.
I was careful not to immediately touch the text. I felt it with an inch of air in between my hand and the text. As soon as my hand hovered above the blue-underlined text, the empty space was filled with black text. I looked down to see how long, but it was cut off. I then found a tall, rectangular bar over my right and wondered if it was a mechanism. I did the same thing by hovering over it and experimentally moved the bar. I saw the text below rising before me. Amazing.
I resume then to read. As I read on (it was about the hero key-wielder, Sora and his time in school in Destiny Islands), I frown on a few details and exactly surprised at some. For some reasons, I was principal of the school (and those five unrevealed elite students were certainly forbiddingly my apprentices). This only led me to confusion, and it was the least I needed.
I wondered how to return to the many clickable texts. I looked up at my suspected directory and saw Games Kingdom Hearts. I raised my arm and reached for it. I was right; the old view returned then and made available for me to read other information.
For a long period of time (I felt it moving, and this I felt at ease) I read through the collection. Later on, thoughts began to burn in my head and I had the desire to write. I wasn't planning on writing a fictional story (I realized not all of the accounts in the stories were true in this library, so they were certainly not written records of the past. One instant clue was a sensual scene between two men which I did not see how the universe deem it 'recordable'), but I encountered recently stories of a 'Nobody' (and many others) in the library. In this light, my opinions and thoughts were ready to purge and take on the form of words.
In this space filled with text, I hypothesized I can write as well. With the power of thought once more, the space provided me a letters arranged in a random manner in three rows with ten to eight columns from the highest row to below, and a blinking bar hovering that I learned to conjure the letters when I point on the character the space provided.
What was I going to write? After reading through the essays, I thought of handing a message about the tactless beings behind the fiction. Perhaps, I hypothesized, just as I can read their essays, they can read mine.
I bustled into writing. It has been a while since I wrote something new, not out of memories that gave me nothing but pain.
-
I have gone through the selection of stories in this library, and regarding the stories I was most amused of, about Sora's Nobody, Roxas and the rest of his kind, I found them all a complete folly, an insult to the memory, and centered with selfishness.
Let this not be justified by the mere word 'freedom' because you only prove the center of selfishness lingering in your works more. It goes back as an insult to the memory, and then being a complete folly since the beginning.
I request of you to read as to why a reader like me have felt your works fruits of dictatorship. I am not trying to degrade the quality of your works in any way, but its content that must have made you happy was of no thought for others.
Just why have you written a Nobody a story?
The specifics may have put some of you out of the path I'm about to go through in this essay, but in general, what was the reason you have built the story?
I have read novels and books even if I am buried in studies, and I enjoyed watching plays in my once paradise. As I watched, I taste the freshness of the characters and felt immensely the life coming out of the plot as it thickens. As I have read your stories, I only felt dissatisfaction and force – not from me, but from you, the author behind the story.
You have dictated how each should be: what they do, what they feel, what they are. Simply write that the Nobody is in fact a simple boy completely changes his identity. Though you justify that it changes little of what the Nobody is as you have decided to keep close to his identity, your little intervention of the Nobody's identity makes him completely another person.
Certainly, I would not like to be remembered as another person, even with just a single detail.
My favorite flower is roses. I would not like to be remembered as the ruler who loved daisies, and just as much as I would not like to be remembered as the school principal who was betrayed by his students. Though the situation may be alike, my memory has been insulted as I have become a mere school principal.
Your dissatisfaction and force have brought up insult. This you call freedom, but you bring only justice to yourself to what seems to you 'makes sense'. Once it makes sense, your dissatisfaction is answered without considering the memories you've harmed – the Nobody you harmed.
It's a pity, for all the Nobody has are memories. And this Roxas barely has one, yet you recreate his memories to satisfy yourself with a brand new one. 'This is my freedom' but I say: this is licentiousness.
Perhaps it is natural for us who have Hearts to be dissatisfied and find a need to satisfy ourselves. It's a pity for Roxas the Nobody could not do anything for he has no Heart.
I believe it is 'pity'. I have said it too many times. The Nobodies are piteous creatures. This dissatisfaction: perhaps they are theirs and we receive them differently…
However, how we perceive them may be mixed with ideas and concepts that 'makes sense' only in our twisted thoughts – so twisted that you have maliciously turned Roxas' and his friend's friendship into romantic love.
As the man who studied Hearts, I could not make sense in this twisted relationship, but what insult it is to turn their friendship into this kind of love, love that involved lust. If my friend and I had our memories twisted in this kind of relationship and remembered so wrongly, then we will be greatly insulted.
You are a dictator with ideas, pulling pawns and making them do as you wish. Even though you may remember them with their faces, voices, and deeds, you skip through the fact and put together things until it 'makes sense'.
The matter is as bad or worse for putting together a Nobody and a person with Heart. You know who I am referring to.
How exactly can you 'make sense' between two beings and believe they can be romantically interested to one another? Is the idea of 'two separate beings' enough for the love relationship? Yet, in reality, Roxas and Sora are one, but in your reality, where this truth does not make sense, they are two separate beings.
Perhaps it is your misconception and misunderstanding. After all, us who have Hearts are not as bland as Nobodies.
You believe the answer to pain was love.
The common element was pain and somehow, it makes sense to make them love each other. That is in your reality, of course.
I know the Hearts more than you do, and let me tell you the Heart has no sides. It is Everything, a mixture of all things, including pain. Love has become a synonym for Heart because of their likeness. Just as the Heart is everything, love is all.
Perhaps as we are those who have Hearts, you have perceived the longing on the Nobodies as sadness and answered with what you believe 'makes sense'.
But do know that pain is a phase and only time can say when happiness will one day come.
Of course, for Nobodies, that day is never going to happen. It's useless and insulting to emphasize Roxas' pain in an act of sympathy. You have lingered too much in the phase of pain and you only delighted him in your reality with the light of happiness sometime later on (or never at all). Most of the time, you only have enlightened yourself.
You are selfish and absorbed in your world.
What amused me most was the cruelty and thoughtlessness among you writers. You have only felt for them sadness and pain even if you were true to their memories, but I commend those that wrote Roxas – and the other Nobodies – stories of happiness, of a life they could have had and a memory that is true for them. You have generously remembered them and created a good memory in their name.
If it were me, I would have done the same thing, because it's the one they need and one we can spare.
For us who have Hearts, we have to be generous enough to offer them happiness. Quit the folly in your stories of the Nobodies, for the generous thing you can do in their memory was happiness -
Even if they were not real, or never true at all.
This is as far as their happiness can go – after all, Roxas is just a Nobody. The true reality can dictate for them, starting from their existence.
He and his kind of empty shells shouldn't be greedy about it.
-
FIN