The Wedding of the Avatar
The Airship Cruise To Kyoshi
"Will passengers on the Royal Airship refrain from vomiting out the port and aft doors as they could injure those on the ground. This could precipitate an international incident. We have reports that someone has taken to dropping watermelons on farms – please stop before you start a war!" The captain announced in an authoritative voice through the ship's intercom system. Azula found Karo leaning out the aft entrance to the airship door puking his guts out. He had spent most of his time bazooka barfing and in more lucid moments cursing airship travel.
"Didn't you hear that?" Azula stood over the hunched frame of Karo.
"He said 'passengers' not 'prisoners' and besides that we are halfway across the Seewong desert." Karo brushed off his vest. "Who would I hit with my breakfast – some poor sand bender? He probably could use a good only slightly used breakfast."
"Here!" Azula pulled Karo to his feet. "I have your glasses – put them on. Fire Lord Zuko wishes to speak to you. Something about leaving a steady trail of your chow between here and Ba Sing Se?"
"Not by choice." Karo tried to keep from wobbling. "Your uncle took a nice coal barge to Kyoshi Island – why didn't we?"
"The food stinks." Azula steadied him.
"Like I can tell the difference." Karo pushed his glasses onto his nose.
"Go!" Azula closed the metal door of the airship with a clang. "He sounded mighty impatient."
"What did I do now?" Karo grumbled as he staggered off to find the 'Royal Wing' of the Fire Nation airship. "Barf on one civic monument and you're marked for life."
The airship had no 'Royal Wing' but it had elaborate quarters for the Royal Family. Anya, Zuko and Mai cruised in a flying yacht with a retinue of servants and various other knobs. Karo approached the door which had a large silk Fire Nation flag on it and two surly guards protecting it and he coughed. Azula treated her brother and sister in law with a casual cruelty but Karo found the Fire Lord and Lady intimidating.
"Excuse me?" Karo had to look up through a world framed by wire rims at a guard who had fought in the war and wore a metal helmet. Karo felt inadequate. "Fire Lord Zuko asked to see me? I am Karo Zhao?"
"Yes...of course." The tallest of the guards opened the door with a loud clang and motioned Karo through.
"Hello Karo." Fire Lord Zuko had his fine robes on and greeted the skittish Karo with a cup of tea. "I like the glasses. You look very intellectual."
"What can I do for you Zuko?" Karo tried to stand upright as the guard shut the door. The room looked like someone had taken the time to put pretty red curtains and banners over the ugly metal parts of the ship. A huge golden dragon themed rug stood in the middle and Zuko stood across the room facing Karo. Zuko began pacing slowly and intently.
"I do not know you very well but I have learned from Azula and my mother that you have turned out very different from your father." Zuko could sense the tension in Karo and so he broke the ice to make Karo feel more at ease.
"Azula must have told you I act slow witted at times and Lady Ursa must have complained about my dancing." Karo pushed his glasses up his nose and then looked at his red mug of tea. "You served me tea in a cup with a handle in the manner of the Earth Kingdom."
"You don't seem slow witted." Zuko smiled pleasantly and patted Karo on the back. "My sister didn't seem to think that either and my mother would rather forget about the night of dancing although it might explain why she has avoided both of us on this leg of the airship flight."
"I have become quite airsick." Karo shyly explained. "Who wants to talk to some guy barfing out his lunch over the Seewong desert?"
"Have you and your mom any plans to return and reclaim your family lands in the Fire Nation?" Zuko asked casually as he paced the room and tugged at the curtains.
"May I ask why you ask this question?" Karo remained standing and did not bother with his tea.
"I would welcome your family back in the Fire Nation." Zuko faced Karo and smiled. "You act a good deal like someone from Ba Sing Se but we can find ways to deal with that."
"What part of the Fire Lord greeting ritual did I screw up?" Karo eyed Zuko with suspicion.
"Everyone in the Fire Nation calls me Fire Lord Zuko and bows." Zuko had grown used to a certain level of formality from Fire Nation denizens but no one from Ba Sing Se ever did so without coaching. In a city where the King served no other purpose than as a figure to place on paper money and an elected council had taken over running the city no one thought such things served any purpose. In the Fire Nation they held a certain deference for the Fire Lord. In Ba Sing Se train drivers rioted outside the palace of the king and burned heaps of garbage if they wanted more pay. "People in Ba Sing Se have a much more relaxed approach to life."
"Ba Sing Se grows on you. I could never find myself happy in the Fire Nation." Karo had his hands behind his back. "My mom still has the land and a ranch manager looks after it in return for a steady wage and benefits. She may sell it one day but we have no plans to return to live there."
"Azula told me almost the same thing." Zuko patted Karo on the shoulder. "She doesn't want to give up her studies and live with the bitch queen from hell – I have no idea who she means."
"May I go now?" Karo bowed and felt a wave of nausea pass through him.
"One last word of warning." Zuko faced Karo and smoothed out his robes. "My mothers wants you to marry my sister."
"Oh?" Karo looked confused. "You mean Azula?"
"She will get over it in time but you might want to avoid her." Zuko grinned and brushed off Karo's robes.
"Of course. She could do worse." Fire Lord Zuko dismissed him with a courteous bow. "Can you send in Azula please? I have heard she has spent her time dropping watermelons onto barns. She gets bored and property gets damaged....I should have sent her on a ship with Uncle. At least I had the bomb sights and the bomb bay removed from the ship. "
* * *
"Can I barf now?" Karo looked out the mess hall window as the gigantic canyon that split the Earth Kingdom slowly rolled by. The airship droned on and on while Karo struggled to keep food down. "Chances are I won't hit anything in such a remote place."
"We have only another two days until we reach Kyoshi Island." Katara smiled pleasantly at the weak stomached Karo. Karo had the sort of body that Katara could sense probably had no tolerance for any form of travel. They could have traveled by ship and Karo would have ralphed up over the railing of an ocean liner. Katara tried to find bland food that could at least nourish the young man but even the tea and water came up for the return trip.
"I think it has something to do with these glasses." Karo held them out. "Do they fully understand all of the side effects of these things on humans?"
"In some studies they made the monkeys go insane." Azula had Mitsumi standing on her shoulder and a hefty watermelon under her right arm. Zuko had the catwalks removed and so she couldn't wander outside and aim carefully with the melon but she had good accuracy from someone chucking a melon out a window at a thousand meters. "Enjoy the ride – airship travel is – well slightly faster than a brisk jog. I wish they had left the bomb-sights and catwalks in place."
"Where have you been all afternoon?" Katara asked cautiously.
"My brother wanted to see me and warn me that mother has our marriage on her mind. Then the communications officer taught me how to use the wireless to send messages back to the Fire Nation." Azula patted the watermelon to check its ripeness. "I spent the afternoon sending out messages like – 'All things on board the airship going well' and 'Now passing the such and such position in the central Earth Kingdom'. One might get the impression that we have important people on board."
"I hope the Avatar and Ty Lee enjoy my gift." Katara held up a very elaborate scroll that contained many interesting Water Bending forms. She smiled proudly. "On behalf of a grateful Water Tribe we gave them Master Pakku's ancient water bending scroll."
"We bought them a toaster." Karo announced quietly. "A four slice baby with big slots for bagels."
"It has a nice chrome finish." Azula spoke as if she anticipated Katara's next question. "Okay Karo is a cheap bastard and I had to give up my plan to give them a nice piece of land on Ember Island for a summer home because that hunk of land now lies several meters below sea level. So we decided on a toaster."
"Too right." Karo gave a determined squint through his glasses. "Islands may sink but the delicious flavor of toast is eternal. Katara? Oh dear. Point and push me in the direction of the head."
Azula opened the bottom half of the window which hinged out and she leaned out. She waited until the airship passed over an abandoned coal mine and let the manager's house have it. Her brother had told her not to drop watermelons on barns and she took this to mean uninhabited buildings were viable targets. She smiled with gratification as half the house fell apart and made a pleasing cloud of dust and pink goo. She knew Zuko might receive a letter from the Siping Coal Concern but that wasn't her problem.
Karo emerged from the bathroom having had the dry heaves and when he returned he found Azula looking out the window with a thoughtful look on her face.
"I hate that look." Karo hit a note of concern about his friend. "You badly need a hobby – don't you?"
"My mother wants us to marry." Azula closed the window as the airship slowly headed south. "You still have a respectable name and we could enjoy much power – so my mom thinks."
"Huh?" Karo accepted a cup of tea from Azula and drank it. "What was all that about anyway?"
"Lady Ursa longs to have the Royal family intact and she likes you. Didn't you know that in our culture tossing a man down the stairs was the highest compliment." Azula looked at Karo nervously. "She knows we are cousins and I keep reminding her of that fact."
"Let me guess." Karo examined his tea suspiciously. "She can live with our two headed spawn? Incest not a problem?"
"Yes well....she is your aunt. She seems to have no problems there." Azula spoke slowly. "How's the travel sickness?"
"You haven't helped it." Karo said with a hint of ill tempered fatigue.
"Sorry." Azula stood beside the window with a sad look on her face.
"You made this tea didn't you?" Karo could feel his mouth go numb and his gag reflex kicking in.
"Well I hadn't seen any of the servants offer me tea." Azula leaned against the window. "I made it before you left to talk to Zuko."
Karo paced the deck of the dining hall as Lady Ursa greeted him and he bowed back politely and with some relief as she continued on down the hall without a word. He wondered to himself what Azula's tea would do to his insides. He felt no ill effects and soon he felt his persistent airsickness fade away into an unpleasant memory.
* * *
"Why are we...sinking?" Karo sat on the edge of his bed and awaited the not too pleasant answer.
"We have promised to pick up Toph." Azula sat on the top bunk. "I told her she could bunk with us."
"We only have two...." Karo bumped his head as he sat up. "Oh sweet mother of all creation...no!"
"What?" Azula sounded innocent.
"I bruise easily."
"Oh well don't do anything to get yourself bruised." Azula heard the airship bump on the ground.
"The woman cracks rocks with her bare hands. I'm thinking that a bruise is the least of my worries." Karo answered loudly. "Your mom set this up didn't she?"
"She thinks you need a nice woman in your life."
"Does this thing have an attic?"
"No!" Azula answered back.
"Hey bunkies!" Toph jumped on Karo. "You guys still gay?"
"Have problem with that?" Azula replied bluntly while Karo gulped.
"Karo is still cute and warm." Toph sat next to him and hugged him. She enjoyed teasing Sokka on many occasions and the mild mannered Karo proved even more entertaining to tease. "We can work with that."
"Ow! You're crushing me." Karo complained.
"Tell me you don't like it." Toph gave Karo a deep warm kiss on his cheek.
The airship began to gain altitude and Toph jumped to the top bunk and kissed Azula who did not complain.
"Go to sleep." Karo complained a few hours later. "Can I ask you to get your feet off my stomach?"
"Azula?" Toph asked. "Karo doesn't want me here."
"Yeah...well." Azula lay in her bunk. "Let me finish the puzzle page in the paper."
"Get some rest Toph!" Karo had grown accustomed to a lemur sleeping with him but Toph proved considerably larger and more dangerous.
"Karo has beautiful hair." Toph began to braid his hair.
"Did I interrupt something private?" Zuko opened the door and walked into the room. "Karo I thought you liked men – er you change your mind?"
"The earth bending chick in my bunk?" Karo sighed as he spoke. "Thought that came with the airline ticket. I did not think it was polite to send her back – ow!"
"Mai bids you all a happy voyage." Zuko spoke as if reciting a scripted line.
"With or without death threats?" Azula answered back.
"Well she hasn't called you a bitch queen for a week." Zuko grinned. "Her mood has improved since the arrival of Anya."
"What do you want Zuko?" Azula asked bluntly.
"Mother has asked me to discuss with you the terms under which you and Karo might get married." Zuko blushed and ducked as Azula chucked a pillow at him. Karo blushed as Toph slugged him. "Mom does not give up easily once an idea gets into her head."
"A useful trait if she worked as a detective - bloody annoying in most other instances. When she caught me making out with Ty Lee what part of lesbian love did mom miss out on?" Azula hit Zuko with a second pillow. "And shouldn't I marry a real man? Karo barely qualifies except for the anatomical stuff."
"Thanks." Karo felt Toph braiding his hair which relaxed him somehow.
"I mean you like men." Azula clarified. "Only you and Mai find my brother hot."
"Oh well I asked." Zuko looked at Karo. "Really? Me hot?"
"I need to talk to my mom." Azula hit the floor with a loud metal thud. "I have to give her the 'Water Tribe Hawtness' lecture again!"
* * *
"Mom!" Azula shouted as she knocked on the metal door to her room. "This marriage thing......"
"I know." Lady Ursa stood in front of Azula in a pink night robe with a rose themed collar. "Let me explain and see if you like the idea."
"You know Karo likes men?"
"Yes." Lady Ursa replied with some grace.
"And I like women?"
"So you have said." Lady Ursa tied her night robe. "Marriage has nothing to do with who you like but with setting yourself up in a good social position. You must know this because I never really liked your father."
"Why did you marry him?"
"Well he knocked me up."
"Why do I feel the need for a shower every time we have one of these frank discussions?" Azula grappled with the door handle as the airship shifted. "You told me this before – Zuko – forbidden passion fruit. I seem to have repressed that. God only knows what went through your mind when you had me."
"Birth control failed utterly."
Can we get on topic...what?" Azula grasped the handle. "You never intended to have me?"
"I want to see my daughter marry." Lady Ursa hoped her previous remark would slip by.
"Whoa! Back up there." Azula waved her hand. "I came to be by accident? I had always thought Zuko came about because you had no self restraint but me?"
"I love you Azula." Lady Ursa kissed her daughter's forehead.
"But I had always thought you intended to have me!"
"I have no regrets." Lady Ursa hugged her daughter. "Well okay nearly killing Karo Zhao by falling down the stairs but he has forgiven me hasn't he?"
"He's my cousin." Azula gritted her teeth.
"As members of the Royal Kai family we can get away with that." Lady Ursa put her hand lovingly around her daughter's shoulder. "Even your father and I were distant cousins – you and Karo are first cousins so you shouldn't have children. I love you Azula and Karo Zhao can help restore your status in the royal family. But don't have kids with him – I don't want a forty year old grandson who still likes coloring."
"Mom! I did not need that. My next show will have to be with steel wool and drain cleaner!" Azula answered sharply and then softened. "I do not want to get married to him. He doesn't want to marry me and his lemur just ran into the room and climbed on your shoulder."
"How sweet." Lady Ursa gave the lemur a gentle pat on his head.
"Azula!" Karo announced from the hallway after making a loud clang as Toph pulled the metal door off its hinges. "Toph has me in a headlock."
"Shut up or you could end up married to me." Azula yelled back.
"She won't let go." Karo complained. "I thought you might convince her."
"Evening Katara." Toph felt compelled to announce as she heard Katara walk down the hallway with some purpose.
"Why do you have Karo in a headlock?" Katara asked in her quiet way.
"I want him to kiss me." Toph grinned. "I share his bunk and the least he can do is kiss me."
"Who – ack! Who set that up?" Karo asked Katara.
"I have heard Karo will marry Azula." Katara patted Toph's shoulder. "Lady Ursa wants her daughter to marry this nice young man."
"News travels fast on a blimp." Karo gasped as Toph wrestled with him. "Azula! I have only a minute or so of air left. If you value my life stop the muscular chick from killing me."
"Toph quit choking Karo?" Azula let Mitsumi rest on her shoulder. "Karo give Toph a kiss."
"No! I have no idea where she's been!" The next sound was that of Toph kicking Karo's rear. "Ow! How do I know you won't attempt to eat my head?"
"Pain does impart wisdom." Lady Ursa chuckled. "I have watched you befriend Karo and you care for him and I might even say you love him as a close friend."
"Indeed. Karo has had bad airsickness and Azula has spent most of her time caring for the little guy so I haven't seen much of her." Katara bowed to Lady Ursa. "As I hear it you want her to marry him?"
"I didn't want him blowing chow all over my bunk." Azula crossed her arms.
"Ow!" Karo yelled. "I have learned my lesson so let go of my hair!"
"Hey Katara." Toph held Karo's long hair and pointed her finger at him. "Will he marry Azula?"
"That doesn't come off!" Karo yelped as he wondered if what he felt was his scalp coming loose.
"No." Azula said reassuringly. "My mom confused Karo with another dork with long hair and glasses. You can play with Karo and not feel guilty."
"Thank you so very much!" Karo yelled sardonically. Karo had decided that he had no longer felt airsick but the queasy feeling in his belly had come from another source. He gave Azula a look of utter frustration. "Feel ack..."
"Shouldn't you rescue Karo?" Katara pointed down the hall as Toph dragged him into the stateroom by his hair. "What if Toph manages to have her way with him."
"We will deal with the broken ribs when we have to." Azula faced her mom with arms folded. "Please don't keep trying to match us up. I still don't feel ready for a relationship with anyone."
"And Karo?" Lady Ursa sat on her bed with her arms folded and her flowing robes delicately wrapped around her. She had met Karo – the young man did act like a dolt and his self effacing manner struck her as completely unfitting a Fire Nation noble. She knew Karo only acted like an idiot out of a lack of social skills and she could not hide her disappointment that her daughter did not wish to marry him.
"He finds this all humiliating." Azula had no idea what Karo wanted in a relationship since Karo had a prudish view on such things and avoided the topic.
"I give up." Toph poked her head back into the room.
"On Karo?" Azula tapped her fingers.
"Yeah." Toph picked up Mitsumi. "He actually wants to sleep – funny that. He shares his bunk with me and he wants to sleep. Anyhow he asked me to find his lemur."
"He hasn't felt well lately." Azula advised.
* * *
"Kyoshi Island takes its name for the famous Avatar Kyoshi – the last earth bending avatar." Azula sat across a heavy metal table and spoke with Karo as Mitsumi looked nervously out the window at the sea below.
"Anything I should know about the Kyoshi Island culture?" Karo plopped his cup on the heavy metal table of the galley. Airships in the Fire Nation had the kind of interior machinists loved but mere mortals hated. Pipes and vents ran everywhere and the walls had no paint and lots of rivets. "I mean will I disembark and find out they want me to dance around a fire in my boxers?"
"I would like that." Katara sat next to Azula and made a whimsical kissing gesture at Karo.
"We could do that for fun." Azula felt Mitsumi jump on her shoulder. "We have invitations to the most important wedding this century and it involves Ty Lee. I could not have imagined a stranger couple than Ty Lee and Aang."
"How will we screw up this social event?" Karo broke apart a set of chopsticks and began to ready them for the noodle soup the airship cook brought to the table.
"I have no plans yet." Azula began tapping the metal table. "I mean I don't want to ruin Ty Lee's wedding by any means but I have a long tradition of screwing up social events."
"I don't want to go to this wedding but I promised to help out." Katara rested her head in her arms. "I love Aang and haven't gotten over him in some ways."
"Why not help us screw up this social event?" Azula smiled at Katara. "We have to embark on this project and we need all the help we can get."
"I hate to inject some reality into your scheming." Karo rubbed his jaw. "If we screw this social event up they will probably ship us home in pieces."
"They have to catch us first." Azula snapped her fingers at Karo. "But if they do we could end up in much pain."
"Too true and my best work happens spontaneously." Karo didn't think such things needed planning since the best gaffes happened spontaneously and ended up with him, a tall person and a badly aimed throw. "You plan too much and things lack that casual touch we are famous for."
"Foul up the honeymoon night?" Katara had more than a hint of envy but without any serious intentions.
"Carries the risk of seeing Aang nude and I really don't wish to know where the arrow tattoos go." Azula tapped her fingers while Karo felt the conversation had gone off track and Mitsumi felt himself.
"They already had their honeymoon judging by the letters Ty Lee sent me." Azula winced for a moment. "I really don't need to know, never asked to know but she reveals all in her letters."
"You made me read the one about Ty Lee, Aang and how you can use a sky bison for a romantic voyage." Karo looked even more uneasy.
"Yeah – absolutely amazing. I found only five spelling errors in that letter." Azula bit her lip.
* * *
Welcome to Kyoshi Island." An elderly gentlemen escorted by five Kyoshi Warriors stood at the foot of the ramp of the airship as the airship crew tied it to a large wooden pier jutting into the bay next to the village.
"They won't shrink my head will they?" Azula asked her brother Zuko while Mai stared at her angrily.
"Thank you." Zuko cleared his throat as he chose to ignore Azula. When he returned he had many checks to make out to Earth Kingdom farmers for repairs to their barns and he had to listen to Mai complain that she had no watermelon – her favorite melon to snack on.
"Where is Karo?" Azula whispered to her mother who stood next to her. Karo ran between them in a flash and jumped over the edge of the ramp onto the ground. He ran across the small beach and hugged a tall pine tree.
"Land! Land! Oh heavens be thanked we have landed!" Karo kissed the tree then spat because it had sticky yellow sap that left a bitter taste in his mouth. He found everyone staring at him and so said a most profound thing. "What?"
"And well...." Zuko stuttered as he tried to begin his speech and watched as Karo puked up his breakfast on the tree.
"Are all Fire Nation men as brave as this one?" The tallest Kyoshi Warrior picked up Karo by the scruff of his neck. "You have defiled the Holy Tree of the Goddess of the Forest. What do you mean by this insult?"
"Oh crap!" Karo stared up at the tall and quite likely deadly red haired Kyoshi Warrior and gulped. "Defile is such a strong word - would it help to apologize and send the tree a nice card?"
"Don't kill my friend." Azula sauntered forward and gulped when the tall warrior stood over her by a full head. This Kyoshi Warrior looked at her and recognized her instantly.
"You imprisoned us!" The girl turned to Azula who had the feeling her liver would end up on the menu as the main course with a side order of beans. "You tortured us and then threw us away to rot."
"Thanks Azula." Karo wondered if his feet would ever touch the ground again as the Kyoshi Warriors picked them up off the ground and walked off with them. "Thank goodness you don't work with gas pipes."
"Torture is such an ugly word." Azula looked at the other girls who surrounded her as she found herself carried off. "I used alternative interrogation techniques. The prison had a nice yard, games and well groomed rats."
"They have the death penalty here don't they?" Karo asked as the warriors brought both of them to what looked like a jail.
"The tall one will crush your head under her armpit." Azula squirmed as the tall girl literally tossed both of them in a small cell with one cot. A dreadful damp filled the cell and moss grew on some of the rocks that lined the walls. One small window with steel bars gave them their only light.
"Well they tossed us in this cell to rot." Karo held on the bars of the window and looked out. "You said you didn't torture the Kyoshi Warriors. What happened to Suki and Ty Lee? They can speak for us!"
"For you." Azula sat on the cots. "These girls want to see me dead."
"What did you do to them?"
"Nothing too awful." Azula checked her fingernails. "You puked on their holy tree."
"How could I have had any clue...tell me that!?" Karo pried on the bars. "What rational civilization has a holy tree? Why does every nation have to have whimsical beliefs along the lines of a God inhabits some tree or lives in an enchanted kingdom or how following the ten fold or twelve step path will insure eternal life or enlighten you? I think it has to do with UFOs and aliens playing mind games to see just how ridiculous an idea has got to be for it to become religious doctrine. A holy tree? I will end up feeding the Unagi because I barfed on a tree!"
"Tolerance for other cultures." Azula sounded pedantic. "Even the backwards and stupid ones like this. We have lived in Ba Sing Se so they won't feed us to their sacred movie monster. We have such high lead levels in our blood we would probably kill their holy apex predator."
"I won't make it in prison." Karo tried to make out the scene outside his cell. "I already am remembering the cell as described in Silence of the Lambs."
"You can survive this." Azula breathed in and out. "The main antagonist in that book ate people. You haven't had a fried student with a side of fries have you?"
"Don't we get a phone call!?" Karo shouted out of the bars at people wandering past.
"What is a phone call?" An old lady asked as she walked by.
"Oh freaking hell!" Karo sat down. "Backwards isolated stupid stench ridden dung heap of an island. If I die on this rock my mom won't find out until she gets the letter?"
"Don't panic until they start building the gallows." Azula sounded less than reassuring.
"I didn't do anything." Karo yelled through the window. "I didn't know you had sacred trees. I want my lemur and I have my right to a lawyer!"
"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." Azula remained calm.
"How can you stay calm?" Karo climbed back down and paced the floor. "These people hate you and believe in spiritual trees."
"It could be worse."
"They have left us here to rot without bathroom facilities." Karo stood at the door and pushed his head through the bars. "I made it worse didn't I?"
"Imagine what they could do to you if you owned a logging company." Azula sat back and breathed in as if will could rescue her from this situation.
"I have my trust fund invested in logging companies." Karo said sharply. "Oh I am so dead."
"Alright you two can go." The tall Kyoshi warrior undid the bolt on the cell and swung the heavy metal door open. Suki stood behind her and held a large ring of skeleton keys. "Zuko warned us that you acted as a team to screw up social events but Suki spoke well of you."
"What about the Avatar and Ty Lee?" Azula glared at the tall Kyoshi Warrior. "Where did they go? I mean we brought a wedding gift – chrome toasters don't grow on trees."
"I want my lemur back." Karo crossed his arms.
"He's on the airship." Suki said. "We will see you are reunited."
"By tradition the couple spends the week before the wedding together at a romantic retreat and we cannot disturb them." The tallest Kyoshi Warrior lied – they had rushed Ty Lee and Aang to an isolated cottage to avoid the press that had begun to descend on the island like vultures on a saber tooth moose lion carcass.
"These women want to kill you. I may have forgiven you but they have not - so take care." Suki scratched Karo's back gently. "Karo? Try to avoid vomiting on any trees since you might cause an international indecent."
"How could I know that?" Karo griped. "Such and such group of bumpkins has sacred trees. Another group worships a group of rocks and on it goes."
"He is cute but can I punch him?" The tall girl asked Suki. "He ranted lots and kept requesting a phone call or something like that. The Fire Nation princess behaved well."
"Koko..." Suki patted the tall girl's shoulder. "Guess who has to billet them."
* * *
Thud!
Koko had the good fortune to have won the toss to host Azula and Karo at her mother's house and the loud thump in the morning meant that either one or both of them had fallen down the ladder that led up to the second story of their house.
"Ow!" Karo's cracked his back as he lay on the floor trying to figure out what had happened. "Did that ladder move?"
"No?" Koko and her mother sat at a crude wooden table. Mitsumi had a bunch of grapes and sat on the table eating them with the new humans he had met. Koko lacked the face paint and wore a drab tan colored night robe as did her mother but she still struck quite a figure.
"Ow!" The roof had a high pitch and Azula bashed her head as she stood up. She leaned over the edge and noted that on "Oh this can't bode well – let me guess – that thump was you falling?"
"Silly me." Karo looked up at Azula. "I feel like an idiot for expecting stairs or indoor plumbing or gas lighting or glass windows. I will admit they have gone light years ahead of us in 'outhouse' technology."
"Yeah." Azula mused as she climbed down the ladder rubbing her head. Koko's mom politely bowed and handed Azula a cup of tea. She had a name Azula had forgotten or rather she kept confusing it with Rococo so she avoided calling her by name. She handed Karo his glasses which he had left upstairs.
"Is your friend alright? He took quite a fall." Koko asked kindly. "If you don't mind me saying - I think you have a very cute boyfriend."
"We're good friends." Azula corrected Koko. "Not boyfriend or girlfriend. You find him good looking?"
"Cute in a way – like Aang." Koko smiled at Karo who confirmed his membership in the dork hall of fame by pushing up his glasses.
"This young woman finds you appealing. You have attracted the attention of the 'Allmighty Tallest'!" Azula patted Karo's shoulder and then whispered. "She has the tall and slender figure you like so much and make-up!"
"I am sorry to make you uncomfortable." Koko did not know why but she liked this young man. He had a stuck up and pompous attitude, griped about the lack of modern conveniences and had that special kind of self importance found in Fire Nation nobility. Karo balanced his arrogance with a kind heart and it seemed to work.
"They can cure cholera can't they?" Azula pointed at the outhouse.
"I have no idea." Karo wore that confused look. "Water treatment kills the bug that causes it."
"Do you see a water treatment plant anywhere on this island? I haven't seen any sign of industrial civilization – not even a brick." Azula walked out the door grumbling about chlorination.
Koko sat at the table and invited Karo to sit with her and her mother and she began to sort out what to talk about. Karo felt shy and like a dork. Azula had her dork side but Koko had trained as a Kyoshi Warrior and reminded Karo of what smart and socially well adjusted people looked like.
"I take it the bucket and the little bamboo shack next to the house is the shower?" Azula came back a few moments later.
"Dip it in the rain barrel and dump it over your head. You'll find soap on a shelf inside the hut." Koko explained calmly. "Check for leeches – they sometimes get in the rain barrel."
"Leeches!?" Azula needed confirmation on that point as Koko's mom handed her a towel. "Oh lovely."
"And the water gets cold in the morning." Koko shouted after Azula as she tromped out of the house.
"Well I have a plan to deal with that." Azula said as the door banged shut.
"You and Azula study at the University of Ba Sing Se?" Koko asked gently. "What do you study?"
"I hope you won't think me evil." Karo hesitated. "Economics."
"You could never be evil." Koko smiled in a manner that made Karo feel more awkward and made her mother smile as if she had finally managed to marry her daughter to someone important. "Suki said you were Fire Nation but live in the Earth Kingdom."
"My mom left my dad." Karo yawned and then blushed. He felt Mitsumi jump onto his head and then saw him jump onto the floor and then ran in a circle and fell asleep on the floor at his human's feet.
"Suki mentioned that you have lived in Ba Sing Se most of your life. I suppose you didn't hear much of the war." Koko looked down at the table.
"Most of the time we hid from the war behind our walls. The Dai Li controlled what news we got, they told us what we wanted to hear and most people did not wish to know more than that." Karo grew sad and distant.
"Azula took us prisoner." Koko answered in the same quiet tone. "We decided to join the war against the Fire Nation after Prince Zuko came to our island and attacked the village hunting for Avatar Aang. She found us patrolling the Earth Kingdom and defeated us and threw us in prison."
"Book Two – Earth and Volume Four and depending on which edition - chapter something or other." Azula came in and began to climb the ladder. "You didn't warn me about the rooster!"
"Our rooster?" Koko found much of what Azula said quite cryptic. "He's harmless."
"Tell him that. He kept attacking my night robe." Azula went upstairs for a modicum of privacy and began to dress and prepare for the coming day. She wondered where the Kyoshi Islanders had billeted everyone else. The wedding took place in two days and she had seen no evidence of any preparations for 'the wedding of the century'. She expected signs, festivities, a tacky 'Countdown to the Wedding of the Century Clock' with corporate logos on it but she had seen nothing but the inside of a cell and the inside and outside of a modest house on the edge of a modest village on the edge of a modest by on a modest island. She had limited knowledge of anthropology but common sense dictated someone should burn something.
* * *
Kyoshi Island had won fame for its warriors – feared and respected in all lands.
It also had the largest number of unidentified flying object sightings of any place on the planet. Kyoshi Islanders believed the forest housed spirits that manifested themselves as lights in the sky. This prevented unexplainable lights in the sky from becoming a real social problem.
The press had become a social problem. Karo had seen three newspaper reporters with photographers hunting for shots of the Avatar. Avatar Aang and Ty Lee remained hidden and the locals had no plans to tell anyone of their location. Karo heard a dull thump and the sound of crushing metal and glass as Toph rounded the corner with a piece of wood and metal that had once been a camera.
"Where are all these newspaper people coming from?" Toph tossed the ruined camera down a disused alley.
"Spontaneous generation I think." Azula had not yet noticed the press but the villagers had and it caused some concern among them. "They grow out of dung when they sense an event that will fill a page or two in a newspaper."
"This is an event of immense historical importance." Karo could see another press crew playing with a large camera, setting up a tripod and rooting through a green lizard skin bag filled with glass plates wrapped in heavy black paper. "The marriage of the Avatar and Ty Lee represents a sign to the world that things have begun to return to normal."
"I wonder how important?" Azula had thought for a long time that somehow the world had shifted. "Or rather in the industrial civilization that has emerged from the war will the Avatar matter?"
"I have nothing to say." Karo had found a tea shop – a refuge from the craziness that promised to be the wedding.
"Suzuki's Tea Shop." Azula discovered the tea shop had an atmosphere much like a bar – dark and dank – but she wanted tea. They sat at the long wooden bar at he back of the place and noticed the large number of syndicated newspaper reporters that had begun to fill the place. Sokka loped in with Suki and waved at the trio ordering tea at the back. The owner had a balding head and a charming gray mustache but had a fit stature and a healthy looking tan. He looked like the sort of rogue who stood in front of railway crews to protect the previously sacred forest they wanted to blow to kingdom come.
"Oh Karo...?" .When I saw Koko, she had a picnic basket and she wanted to take a walk with you in the mountains and talk." Suki explained.
"A romantic interlude for Karo?" Toph sounded envious.
"Oh Karo?" Koko smiled sweetly as she walked in the dim light of the tea shop with a large wicker basket under her arm.
"Go!" Azula pushed Karo toward the door. "She's a bombshell!"
"Don't they detonate when they hit the ground?" Karo put on a smile like a bald man put on a toupee and adjusted his glasses and examined the large picnic basket. He scratched the back of his head nervously. "Uh? Hi Koko – you really went to a lot of trouble didn't you."
"I wanted to do something nice for my Ba Sing Se economist and also get away from the village and all the hubbub." Koko and Karo walked out together.
"Hit me!" Azula told the gentleman behind the bar. "Strong tea."
"Won't she discover Karo is gay?" Toph asked Azula.
"Depends on what she pokes." Azula bowed to the bartender. Toph ordered tea and poured rather old milk into it.
"Seems like an odd pairing. Karo is so cerebral and Koko fought in the war." Suki ordered herself a simple iced tea with lemon.
"Well Karo belongs to the great 'Ba Sing Se School of Economics'! A more root'n toot'n meaner bad ass batch of defenders of the free market you will never meet this side of the Great Divide!" Azula bashed the flimsy looking wooden bar with the palm of her hand. "He can debate any Communist under the table with the use of complex mathematics and equations and prove that capitalism is the best way of selling Fire Flakes."
"What does all that mean?" Toph asked cynically.
"When the Communists take over they will shoot him first." Azula sipped tea. "Did I mention he plays a really mean oboe?"
As Azula's eyes adjusted she began to see that the tea shop had rather nice bamboo wall hangings of the kind Uncle Iroh liked to buy from thrift shops. A few newspapermen sat at the crudely finished wooden tables and thick tan colored paper shades over the windows kept the sun out and the bugs to a minimum. A couple of oil lanterns gave a feeble, smoky orange light to the establishment and behind the bar a few shelves held bottles of sake and a tap provided some kind of beer.
"When will Uncle Iroh arrive?" Toph broke the silence.
"He took a steamship and I think he will arrive in the next few hours." Azula answered and ordered another cup of tea. "And where has Katara gotten to?"
"A group of villagers took her to see Aang and Ty Lee because they need her help in preparing for the wedding." Sokka added. "The village got permission from the Earth Kingdom meteorological service to place your mother, Mai and Zuko in the house used by the their staff but it lies some distance outside the village. They have bottled gas and running water so it will make it easier to care for their new daughter."
"And once again I get stuck in Dogpatch." Azula fumed.
"He fainted!" Koko stood in the doorway with Karo over her shoulder. "I merely suggested a little romantic cuddling before lunch and the little guy got a nosebleed and fainted."
"Uh yeah." Azula turned back to her tea. "Bring him over here."
"Okay." Koko walked over to Azula."I hope he's well...."
"The centrally planned economy is the acme of human achievement." Azula whispered in Karo's ear. "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Workers of the World unite!"
"How did I get here?" Karo snorted to consciousness. "Oh sorry. I feel so stupid."
"You passed out. When I have to hum The International I know you have really lost consciousness. " Azula asked calmly. "You have such a problem with shyness. When you had to play the oboe in front of your school what happened then?"
"I could never play well enough to play solo." Karo began to wish people would stop carrying him about on their shoulder. A few newspaper reporters trying to go blind on the local bar's special moonshine looked his way as if expecting a human interest story.
"What did I do wrong?" Koko stood in her green robe that fastened over her left shoulder and khaki pants – she wanted to look casual but neat.
"Economists have to accrue interest." Azula motioned for Koko to place Karo on the floor. "Have a seat."
"Okay." Koko still stood a head taller than Azula.
"Karo did you tell her?" Azula stared into her tea.
"What!?" Karo motioned for tea. "I didn't think you would respect me if I told you I owned a trust fund that had shares in logging companies!"
"Where does your brain go – do you time share with reptiles?" Azula smacked her head in frustration.
"Karo is gay." Suki blurted out.
"Oh that!" Karo hit his head on the bar. "Oh I am sorry Koko. I knew something was wrong with this."
"I should apologize Karo." Koko spoke as the newspaper reported began to lean in to hear. Azula drove them off by tossing hot tea on them and they backed away. "I seldom meet nice young men and wanted to get to know you better. You must think I come from a backwards village of farmers."
"I like you." Karo smiled as he looked up at her and had to admit that even without the face paint she looked striking. This made it hard to explain why she had a mother shorter than even him and why she was gray haired, had patchy balding, and a fat figure but he figured he could solve those mysteries later – if ever. "You have a kind heart, are sweet and you like me for what I am – a dork. Thank you for making me special."
"Is it the tea, delayed airsickness, the Kyoshi Island flu?" Azula looked at Karo. "I feel the urge to vomit."
"Ah yes." Toph scratched Azula on the back. "You make all these special moments more special."
"Come any closer and I unleash fire bending hell on Earth!" Azula scowled at the paparazzi to make sure her message got taken with utmost seriousness and let an arc of blue flame flow from her hand and she swept it over their heads. They had inched closer like wolves cornering a deer hoping for any juicy gossip. "In the Fire Nation during the war we could legally kill and skin newspaper reporters. I still have a tote bag made of the 'Features Department' editor's skin. He didn't run the Sunday comic I liked. Don't force me to take measures I will enjoy and you will all regret."