This is just a littlepiece that I wrote after watching the episode 'Dead man walking' and the conversation between Jack and Owen in the police cell.It's most probably set some time after that, although it could reallybe at any time.
Hope you enjoy it.
When the rain comes
The wind blew icy droplets into his eyes causing him to squint. He tilted his head up towards the dark grey sky and closed his eyes feeling the rain wash over his features.
"What are you doing up here?" Came a voice muffled by the rain from behind him. He didn't turn around, he didn't need to he new exactly who it was, welsh and female. Gwen. "It's raining!" Came the voice again.
He smiled to himself but still did not turn, he lowered his head and opened his eyes once again, looking out over the plass.
"You see Gwen, that's exactly why I hired you, wonderful observational skills you have."
Gwen decided to not rise to Jack's bait this time, she was too cold, too wet and she knew that Jack would only come back with another comment to top hers. Instead she walked forwards towards Jack who's coat was flapping in the wind as if it had a life of it's own. Carefully, trying to avoid slipping and falling arse over tip she walked until she was standing beside him. For a moment it was as if Jack hadn't noticed Gwen's approach as he stood stead fast with his gaze seemingly fixed on something off in the distance.
"I'm thinking."
Gwen looked from Jack to where his focus seemed to be and then back.
"And you can't do that in the warm?" Almost on cue she shivered before adding "….and dry." as if to emphasise the awful weather they were standing in.
"Now where would be the fun in that."
Jack, for the first time turned to Gwen and sighed a heavy long drawn out sigh. "Strange thing life isn't it?"
Gwen frowned, surprised by the seriousness and unexpected question. She eyed Jack carefully trying to figure him out but realised she never would be able to. The mind of Jack Harkeness was a very strange and she feared, lonely place. One thing was painfully obvious though, there was something different about Jack, the usual warm glow that seemed to encompass him was not there. Instead his eyes, in fact his whole demeanour was dull almost lifeless.
"It sure is a rollercoaster." Gwen replied light-heartedly trying not to get into a conversation that she knew would only end up in depression, either Gwen's, Jack's or most probably the both of them.
"Life is a rollercoaster. Isn't that a Ronan Keating song?…Love the video for that, nice Irish lad in the woods what more can ya ask for."
Although his humour was intact Gwen still sensed that something was wrong and after going over the possible outcomes of the conversation in her head she finally took the plunge and asked the question needing to know what was wrong with Jack.
"What were you thinking about?"
Jack turned back towards the bay, and pulled his jacket collar as the rain was finding it's way inside his coat and dribbling down his back making him shiver.
"Life…people…Torchwood." He replied slowly as if thinking carefully about each category in some depth.
"I like how you mention us last..and separate to people, thanks for that." Gwen tried to laugh but instead it came out as an awkward cough. She mentally kicked herself and thought about trying again but realised that a laugh then would be too late and too weird.
"I've lived for so long already, seen so many things….lost so much." The last few words were uttered in only just above a whisper but Gwen heard them loud and clear and her heart sank.
Life for Jack was something nobody discussed, the odd mocking or joking comment was made now and again towards him and his ability to remain alive but it was never dealt with on any serious level. Mainly because Jack didn't like to discuss it. She wanted so much to be able to understand how Jack felt and what he'd been through but on some level, possibly a selfish level Gwen had decided she really didn't want to know either. She wasn't sure if she would be able to cope if it where her in Jack's position.
Just as Gwen was about to say something in response, Jack turned to her and grinned a trademark Harkness smile. It was as though the last few minutes and their short conversation hadn't happened at all. He took a step towards Gwen and closed her coat around her.
"What are you doing out here?…In case you hadn't noticed it's raining and I don't want you catching pneumonia 'cause it's not like I have a lot of stand by staff to cover you if you get sick. Actually I don't have any stand by staff." Jack mocked a frown as if trying to solve the possible work shortage problem in his mind.
He grinned again before ushering her away with his hands as if telling a small child to go off and do something constructive. Gwen, although at first reluctant, obeyed and walked off towards the back of the roof realising that Jack had decided that the serious conversation between them was over and the little snippet into how he was feeling was done, at least for now.
"Make sure Ianto has some coffee on, I could murder a cuppa right about now!" He called before Gwen disappeared completely.
He sighed. He had seen so much. Lived, loved and died and all more than once. 'Life is too short' was a phrase that just didn't apply to Jack and he often found himself taking for granted the small things in life, resigned to the fact that he had plenty of time to look at them some point in the future. He turned back towards the plass and watched as a young couple ran through the rain, giggling and stopping every so often to share a kiss and embrace before jumping through puddles once more. He watched them blissfully splashing through the drizzle until they disappeared out of sight. He slowly tilted his head up towards the sky allowing the fresh rain drops to hit his face again. No longer would he take things for granted.
The small things, the big things. Living. That is what's important, making the most of each moment. Even when the rain comes.
Thanks for reading!