Disclaimer:I do not own the rights PSoH, although that would be one of my dreams :D I do not own the rights SIMs either. D:
Note: When an animal talks it will be written like this, remember that Leon cannot hear them!
Leon, T-chan, and The SIMs:
"It will only be for an hour, tops!!" D pleaded.
"No! HELL no, not on your life!!!" Leon replied, putting on his jacket.
"All you have to do is sit here and tell customers I will be back later!" D still pleaded, he too putting on his jacket, obviously confident that he was going to win this argument.
"No way!! You are gonna lock the doors on me and tell that freaky little sheep thing to eat me!"
D smirked for a moment, T-chan smiled hopefully up at D. Leon caught the exchange of glances.
"HELL NO!!" Leon started to make his way towards the door.
"We weren't being serious!" D said quickly.
I was. T-chan growled as he walked away.
"Come on Leon! It will only be a short while!! Please!! After everything I've done for you?!"
"No way, not a cha-" Leon stopped and gave D a dirty look. "Everything YOU'VE done for ME, huh?! What have you EVER done for me?!"
"I took care of Chris every day!" D argued.
"Chris could have taken care of himself! You just wanted to keep him."
"I fill your life to the brim with excitement! Come on! You're off duty!" D said with a smile on his face.
"Right, excitement." Leon sighed deeply. "There is nothing that you can say or do to get me to agree to this!"
--
Ten minutes later D was long gone and Leon sat hopelessly on the old couch.
"This is ridiculous!" Leon yelled.
T-chan jumped up on the couch beside him. Leon looked down at him with a glare.
"Should you be on this couch, you creepy little mutt." Leon asked.
You're dirtier then I am, lunch! T-chan growled back. He looked up at Leon with an 'I told you so' look.
"Shut up! D is a persuasive guy!" Leon said, rubbing the back of his head.
Sure, he has one hell of a left hook, blondie.
Leon glared down at T-chan, as if he knew what he had said. "Is there anything amusing to do in this old shop?" Leon asked T-chan, staring at him and waiting for a reply. Leon slammed back into the couch and covered his eyes as if he had a headache. "I'm so STUPID. I'm talking to a sheep, I've been hanging around D too long."
Suddenly Leon felt something fall into his lap. He uncovered his eyes and looked down. T-chan had went somewhere and brought him a laptop. Leon smirked. 'Sweet' he thought, 'Maybe I can find some dirt on the Count.'
"Good T-chan." Leon said, reaching over to pat him on the head.
He nearly lost a finger.
"Little bastard." Leon whispered to himself as he slowly opened the laptop.
To his surprise the only thing on the desktop of the computer was the SIMs. No Internet, no folders, no pictures or writings, just the SIMs. Leon sighed and thought about putting the laptop away, but T-chan pressed on the touch mouse at the bottom of the laptop and double clicked on the game.
Leon and T-chan exchanged glares.
A long moment of silence.
No blinking.
"Fine." Leon finally gave in and faced the computer again, getting ready to play it.
That's what I thought. Stupid cop. T-chan had a toothy grin.
"How did I lose a fake argument with a goat any way?" Leon scolded himself as the SIMs loaded.
He began creating a new character.
"These things are stupid." Leon said. "That's why I play platform games. Computer games never give you all the options you want, computer mess up ALL the time, and it is impossible to get the characters to look like you in real life." Leon was babbling on, he looked over at T-chan who was staring at him blankly.
"I'm talking to the sheep again." he sighed.
I'm a more interesting conversation then you are, jerk. T-chan was a little insulted.
"Wow.. this isn't half bad." Leon said, staring at his character.
Not half bad? It looks just like you, stupid. Are you blind too? T-chan huffed.
"Alright." Leon said. "Time to see who my neighbor is."
Leon was in shock to see the huge mansion that was owned by some pretty girl.
"Oh shit! That's D!" Leon said covering his face. "AHHHH!"
When Leon uncovered his face T-chan had switched characters, and Leon had control of D and his family... which was a huge family.
"Who are all these people?" Leon asked switching between all of the characters who live in the mansion, he stopped on one named T-chan.
"Who is this guy?" Leon asked staring at the half dressed, red haired, goat horned character. He looked over at T-chan with a raised eyebrow. "Is this supposed to be you?"
T-chan nodded.
Leon looked from the little goat thing to the attractive man...type thing on the computer.
"D's twisted, you wouldn't look like this even if you WERE human." Leon grinned. "You're too ugly."
T-chan bit him.
"Get offa me!!" Leon punched him.
--
Five minutes and twelve bandages later the two of them were sitting calmly next to each other, scrolling through characters again.
"Whoa.. Pon-chan?" Leon stared at the little girl in the nice dress. "You mean her?" he pointed at the little 'raccoon badger thing' as he liked to call her. He checked on her friendship points, like he had done with all the other characters, but what he found disturbed him a little. "Whoa... she's in love with Chris?! D... you're so creepy! That's like bestiality."
Pon-chan had walked by and heard what Leon said. She growled at him.
Chris liked me too, creep. She hissed at him.
Leon gave her a worried stare. "Are you going to bite me too?"
She pondered that for a moment, but then choose to walk away.
She's the bigger man.T-chan said.
"Let's see what I can do to ruin D's life on here." Leon smirked evily and started to ponder. "Oh wait!" he switched to build mode and built a tiny room on the lawn of the mansion. He loaded the room with chairs and a fireplace. He then applied his authority as SIM God and ordered D's character to enter the tiny room. Leon paused it and removed the door, un-paused it and ordered D to light the fire place and sit in the chair closest to the fire.
"Muwahahahaha!" Leon laughed as he waited patiently.
T-chan watched, horrified.
D loves this game, moron.. he's gonna kill you!
The tiny room caught on fire and Leon cackled, that is until he smelled smoke. He looked up and saw that the chair in the corner of the room was on fire. Leon moved the laptop and stood up.
"Oh shit!!" he started to panic.
Wow.T-chan stared at the computer screen. They weren't far off! That really is how humans react to fire!
Leon stood in one spot panicking and speaking gibberish. He was so panicked that he didn't notice T-chan walk by him calmly, enter another room, and returned with a fire extinguisher draging behind him. T-chan sat it in front of Leon and waited patiently for the human to notice.
He didn't.
T-chan tipped the extinguisher over and it landed on Leon's foot.
He noticed.
"AHHH FUCK YOU!! SON OF A BITCHIN' MOTHER SHIT!! ASS BITCH!!" Leon jumped around on one foot, holding the injured one in his hand, cussing at nothing in particular.
That didn't make any sense.T-chan stared blankly at Leon. I wonder if all humans start spitting out nonsense when they are hurt.
After a moment of watching Leon's reaction T-chan sighed deeply and pulled the tab on the extinguisher and started to put out the fire.
It was quite a sight for Leon. Leon saw a strange lion sheep on it's hind legs, aiming with his front paws, and pressing in on the trigger with his chest. The blonde was amazed, staring in awe.
"How are you doing that T-Chan?" Leon asked.
By not being an idiot. T-chan replied with a growl.
--
It took only a few moments for T-chan to put out the fire. After the first thirty seconds Leon was no longer amazed, he was actually bored, so he sat back down on the couch.
"Looks like you know what you're doing, goat." Leon said. "So I'm getting back to what I was doing."
I hate you.
Leon picked the laptop back up and stared at the screen. To his dismay D's character wasn't dead at all. All of the chairs were burnt down, but D was standing there, bored, staring at his watch. Somehow T-chan had defied game laws and got into the room. He must have put the fire out. T-chan jumped up onto the couch next to Leon, who glared down at him.
"Dick." Leon blamed him for the SIM.
I just saved your ass!!T-chan growled.
--
After many failed attempts to kill D the SIM, Leon sat the laptop down and angrily stomped away into the kitchen.
T-chan grinned and moved over to the computer. He switched over to Leon's character and developed a plan.
Let's see what damage I can do in ten minutes.
--
Leon wandered back into the main room several minutes later with arms full of food. T-chan was curled up on the edge of the couch 'sleeping.'
"Awwwlll, you're kinda cute when you're sleeping." Leon said with a mouth full of food. He opened his arms and let the food litter the coffee table. He sat down and picked up the laptop and stared at it for a long time.
"Hey, when did I switch to my character?" Leon asked himself.
He stared intently at the computer screen, there was a list of things for SIM Leon to do across the top of the screen, ending with an interaction with SIM D. Leon was curious so he let his SIM live it's life.
"What am I doing in D's mansion thing?" Leon asked aloud again.
Why are you here now?T-chan growled.
"Don't growl at me, dick." Leon punched T-chan in the head.
T-chan snapped at him.
SIM Leon sat down on SIM D's couch and talked with SIM T-chan. Then SIM Leon and SIM T-chan attacked each other. SIM T-chan won. SIM Leon then stood up and went into SIM D's kitchen and grabbed all of the food he could and walked it back into SIM D's living room, dropping it on a table before playing on SIM T-chan's computer.
"Wow.. it's reminds me of someone." Leon said, eating some chips he had taken from D's cabinet.
I wonder who.
Then SIM Leon stood up and walked to the kitchen. He tried to cook something and caught it on fire. SIM Leon panicked, SIM T-chan put it out.
"This is scary accurate." Leon admitted, still eating.
Now was the moment of truth. The interaction with SIM D.
"Alright." Leon laughed. "SIM me did everything I'd do in real life, let's see what he does to D."
SIM Leon walked up to SIM D and....
Kissed him. Passionately.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Leon paused the game and went to his information. He was married to D.
He threw the laptop with a horrified look on his face, he turned to look at T-chan, who was all but laughing out loud.
Leon kicked him. "I don't know how you did it, but I KNOW you did it!!!"
T-chan tackled Leon to the ground.
And then there was blood and fur.... everywhere.
--
D walked in a few seconds later. He stared at his pet shop. There was still smoke from the fire and the smoldering smell of his silk curtains. His food was spread across the living room. His laptop was cracked and laying against the wall. Leon and T-chan were fighting in the middle of the floor.
D dropped his groceries in horror.
Leon and T-chan stopped when they saw him, both were frozen for a moment. T-chan had Leon's arm in his mouth, Leon had T-chan in a head lock.
"What... did you do... to my pet shop?" D asked in a small voice.
"It was T-chan!!"
It was Leon!!
D stared at them both for a long moment. Then he glared.
Leon and T-chan were horrified.
At first there was allot of screaming.
And then it was silent.
Oh the wrath of Count D. XD
I hope you enjoyed reading it.
I enjoyed writing it.
Sorry for the language :3
Please review if you liked it :D
-Hincaru