'kay, well, I opened up a word document, started writing and this was the result. No specific spoilers for 4x16 On the Head of a Pin but if you haven't watch the epi then the monument despair it has caused both Winchesters, angels and fans alike won't truly have the same effect. See, we all thought Sex and Violence was the point of no return, but no, mofo almightly, this week was soul destroying. This fic happens sometime after the awesomeness of the "Miracle, now!" speel from Sam but before Dean wakes up.
Pain.
Pain.
Oh God, pain.
Fucking sick of pain.
Pain.
Pain.
Wait, Sam?
Sammy?
Castiel?
Oh god, pain.
Too loud, go talk somewhere else.
No, wait, don't.
Sam, don't leave.
Pain.
Pain.
Castiel?
"Samuel, I think to myself that maybe I was wrong."
"What?"
Huh?
"I cannot condone how you choose to use these abilities, but I...I do admire that choice."
"Is this your way of saying thank you? 'Cause let me tell you, that right there, that was crap."
'Atta boy, Sammy.
"You are powerful Sam, even more so than we originally thought. You are a threat because you have the potential to topple us."
"I also have the potential to help you."
"We cannot take that chance."
Cas...
"Well then go on, smite me, Cas, smite away. But I reckon you owe me. Look at my brother Castiel, look at him. You owe me.....at the very least, you owe him. God, you owe him."
I don't look that bad, do I?
Who am I kidding, here it comes again...
Pain.
Pain.
"You misunderstand me. We cannot take that chance. But, you are right, I owe Dean, I owe both of you... I think I can take that chance."
Silence.
"I...thanks."
Silence.
"Your brother will need you when he awakes."
"I know."
"You will need him."
"God, don't I know."
Silence.
Aw, Sammy.
Silence.
"Don't use the Lord's name in vain, Samuel."
Ha.
Was that a truce?
Oh god, pain.
Silence.
Pain.
Silence.
Cas?
Sammy?
"I'm here, Dean. You want to wake up for me now?
Not really.
"You look like shit, dude."
Thanks.
Fuck, pain.
"I really need you to wake up, Dean."
I'm tired Sammy.
"Dean..."
Tired, Sam, tired.
As he breaks so shall it break.
Tired.
So tired.
"Everything's fucked up, man."
Aha.
"But we can get through this, we can."
Sam, I...
"We can, I promise. We can, we will."
Pain again.
Damnit Sam.
What if I don't want to?
Pain.
Pain.
"I promise."
Oh god, the never ending fucking pain.
I'm tired Sammy.
So tired.
I'm gonna go have a cry now....R&R and we can be emo together. Sigh.