Title: This is Still a Bad Idea
Fandom: Fire Emblem (Radiant Dawn)
Theme: Crossing Classes (Installment 2)
Characters: Mist, Soren, Titania, Oscar, Shinion, Ike, Tibarn, Implied Gatrie. Mentions of Boyd and Reyson. (Ships all over the place)
Rating: PG-13 for nudity. Lots and lots of nudity.
Warnings: Crack. Lots of it.
"Soren, I'm still not sure that this is such a good idea." Actually, she was pretty certain that this was a horrible idea, but the wind sage had insisted. And he was the tactician, which meant he always knew what he was talking about. Right?
"We are short on mages, Mist. You, being a cleric, have at least some magical ability. Therefore you are the most logical choice." With his usual impassive face, the small, branded sage gestured to the dangerously bright fire tome in the younger girl's hand. He then bent downward and picked up one from the pile for himself- with a little smooth-talking, Soren had managed to acquire quite the stockpile from a certain flame-haired merchant girl- and opened it to the very same page. "Now, observe closely."
With a few words, Mist observed how the wooden practice target was now engulfed in flames. The dummy, she noted, looked suspiciously like a certain Daen blonde archer, but the cleric judged it to be unwise to point this out when noticing the odd grin that spread across his face as the dummy reduced itself to cinders. "There. That was simple enough," he said, finally breaking the awkward silence that ensued- maniacal smile vanishing. "Now I want you to try."
The brunette cleric did her best to emulate just about everything Soren had done. Her dummy, unfortunately shaped like a taller, egotistical archer of her own, did not burst into flames like 'Leonardo' had. A scream- high and unpleasantly shrill- did, however, fill the air followed by shouts of "Shinion! It's just hair. It'll gro back, dammit!" Mist was immediately torn between shrinking back in shame and laughing her mini-skirted ass off. Although the latter was incredibly tempting, seeing the look on her teacher's face, she chose the former. This did, however, not keep the small, smug smirk from tugging at the corner of her lips.
"This was still your idea," Mist pointed out. As she predicted, the fact had little to no effect on the steely expression on Soren's face.
"Yes," he bent down to retrieve another tome. "And because of that I am determined that you will succeed in this. Fire was obviously a mistake." He handed her a very heavy, yellow bound book and she relinquished the fire tome. "We try thunder instead." Mist wanted to comment that it was probably her aim that was the actual problem- which did not bode well for practice with a thunder tome- but like a good student, she kept her mouth shut. After all, Soren knew everything…right?
One incantation from the younger girl's pink lips and the wind sage was immediately proven terribly incorrect. While they both had been fairly excited to see Mist actually conjure up a lightning bolt at all, it was nowhere near powerful enough to actually hit the ground. Instead, the lightning bolt did what such a thing naturally does- strike straight into the tallest thing in the area. The lightning bolt actually hitting the tent, compared to the alternative of the lightning bolt hitting Soren, did not seem to be much of a problem initially. It was only after more screaming from inside the tent ensued when it began to actually catch fire that she wanted to hang her head and give the black haired boy a good "I told you so".
Instead, both of the younger magic users seemed to be momentarily stunned by the tangle of red and green hair that stumbled over itself trying to unceremoniously exit the burning tent. Mist felt her face turn as scarlet as the woman's hair as she recognized a very flushed Titania and Oscar fall all over each other trying to get to their feet- while attempting to save the eyes of any younger or more innocent observers with a well-placed sheet and pillow. Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, Mist was able to note three different things: Titania's hair, she decided, was impossibly long. Oscar, much to her surprise, was unexpectedly well-endowed. And she wasn't sure why, but the cleric was confused to find out that the latter actually had blue eyes, rather than green. The fourth thing that she noticed, however, was that Soren's face was actually a brighter red than hers- although whether it was because of the axe-paladin's state of undress or the lance-paladin's she wasn't entirely sure and wasn't about to make a guess. His red eyes were obviously averted, and his eyebrows were knit in something that might have been embarrassment.
"Will you two stop falling all over each other and put some clothes on? Get out of here!" While the two of them scurried away, Soren attempted to distract himself from Oscar's retreating and completely naked butt by focusing on his temporary student- the color not fading from his face. Mist, however, made a mental note to tailor the green-haired paladin's pants better with an internal giggle. "That was not strong enough!"
"Are you kidding me? Soren, I set a tent on fire. I set Shinon's hair on fire! The strength isn't the problem!"
"Mist, you missed, but if you had done it properly, more than just Shinion's hair would have gone up in smoke. And the lightning bolt would have been powerful enough to reach the ground."
Mist's normally cheerful and kind expression grew tense with annoyance. "Are you saying that I am weak?"
"I am saying that you are not trying hard enough." Her eyes narrowed as they met the smoldering scarlet ones of the older sage for just a moment before stomping past him and removing a small, deep green book from the middle of the small library. She snapped it open so hard that the binding cracked slightly, causing the branded sage to wince at the noise.
"Fine. You want effort? I will give you effort." The incantation was tense and very forced as it tumbled from her moving mouth and Mist's death grip on the book crinkled the page to the point where Soren likely wondered how she could possibly read its contents. And then she felt it. She felt the wind rip through her hair and circle around her and the cleric wanted to laugh out loud in Soren's face- and she would have if she were certain that it was strong enough to warrant the action. When she finally felt the air still, Mist opened her eyes….
And noticed that half of the camp was no longer standing. She nearly dropped the tome on her feet when her eyes fell on the wind sage- whose jaw was dropped, eyes were wide and normally silky smooth hair was sticking straight up. He was, quite literally, frozen with shock. And Mist would have likely found this unusual state of their tactician to be hysterical if she couldn't hear the very loud and slightly angry voice of her brother approaching.
He showed up in true Ike fashion- sword ready to cleave through the next thing that got in his way- with a strange tattered bit of white fabric draped over his shoulders and the very large king of the hawks in tow. He addressed Soren first, which probably made sense as he was known as the resident causer of all things cyclone. "What the hell happened here, Soren?" The three of them waited for an answer from the little sage, but he did not so much as blink. Tibarn spoke up from behind him.
"Well, I did see two unclothed beorc running through camp, but somehow I don't think that's what you are in reference to." Ike shook his head without even looking back.
"Actually, that was me." Mist's voice was small as she said it. Ike took one look at the tome she was clutching in her hands and shook his head. "I told Soren it was a bad idea."
"That's what I kept trying to tell him!" She responded incredulously. Tibarn stepped up and eyed both her and Soren with more amusement than anything else.
"You think you kids could stop from destroying the rest of the camp while we go play search and rescue?"
"Search and rescue?" Ike, in response to her question, took the white fabric off his shoulder and held it up for her to see. Mist's eyes grew round as she recognized the cloth as a royal heron's garb- or rather what was left of heron's garb.
"Somewhere, there is an very angry and very naked heron prince running around. Truth be told, I'm not really looking forward to finding him." Her brother grimaced. Everyone knew Reyson couldn't actually hurt anyone, but that pretty boy bird could rant and rave and throw a temper tantrum that would make the goddess perform miracles just to shut him up.
"Speak for yourself." Tibarn raised an eyebrow.
"…How…?"
"You blew him right out of his clothes. Bird laguz, remember?" Mist winced at the hawk king's words. She had forgotten about that. When Tibarn winked at her as he followed Ike out of camp, somehow she had a hard time believing he was mad about the whole thing. Or perhaps he was just exceptionally excited about hunting after a naked Reyson. She, on the other hand, had already seen two naked people today- a number that well reached her daily nudity quota- and wasn't particularly excited to see more.
"That…was incredible." The sound of Soren's voice filled with awe snapped to her attention and caused her to whip back around to the sage that had apparently recently come to.
Three. Three naked people today. Mist hadn't been particularly paying much attention- being far too amused at the surprised expression his face was frozen in and the way his hair seemed to be defying the laws of physics- as to whom else she may have disrobed in an unusual fashion. She sighed and pulled the capelet out from around her shoulders. While he was slightly better endowed than Boyd- which wasn't hard, as everyone, including Rolf, was better endowed than Boyd- Soren had nothing on Oscar. And Mist figured that when she could make such comparisons off the top of her head, she had seen way too many dicks for one day.
"Cover yourself." She said as she handed him the caplet and averted her eyes. "I assume this means we are done for today?"
His face a picture of confusion and suddenly very aware that he was largely naked save the square of sky-blue fabric, Soren nodded slightly and hurried off in the opposite direction- presumably to his tent.
Well, Mist noted to herself. At least he has a nice butt.