It felt like he just got sucker punched in the pit of his stomach. He didn't think it would hurt so badly. He thought it would be ok. He thought it didn't matter. He thought he was over it, guess he was wrong.
She stood there, in nothing but a familiar white shirt at least three sizes too big for her. He really shouldn't be surprised. He knew for a while now, he just didn't like seeing it.
"Flack," she said, genuinely surprised. "What are you doing here so late?"
For a second, he couldn't speak. Maybe he didn't want to, he's not entirely sure. But his throat just closed up after seeing the female CSI answer the door of his best friends' apartment. He stood there speechless, almost waiting for the words to physically crawl out of his mouth, but nothing would.
"Hey, Montana who's at the door?" a deep voice asked from the inside of the apartment.
Though he knew what he'd see, he didn't want to, but he did. An image emerged from the back, just into the detective's point of view. He was of medium built, with blonde hair and he was just putting his glasses. He was in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms and a wife-beater. Danny always seemed to be in a white wife-beater.
The other male figure finally sees who was at the front door. He sees the tall younger man in a semi-formal gray suit standing with an expression only he could know inner as pain. He knew this man well. He was hiding behind a calm demeanor but underneath he knew the man was hurt. What pained Danny more was that he knew he was the cause of it. He just hurt his partner.
"Don." He acknowledges his surprise visitor.
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to disturb you… I'll go."
The detective finally found his voice; he needed it to escape. It was his only way out. He turned to leave, leaving behind the love of his life to someone else.
The young woman reaches for her co-worker, trying to stop him from leaving. She was only trying to be polite. There was no reason why Flack couldn't stay for a while.
"Wait, Don!" the other man calls to him.
He runs after him. He gently pushing Lindsay to the side, and passed by her, leaving her in confusion. He sprints down the hall yelling the other man's name in vain. He reaches the elevators and sees one closing with his partner inside. He tries to beat it, but it was too late. It closed before he could get to it, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He turns to the stairs and rushed down the seven flights to the buildings lobby.
He wanted to stand still. He folded his arms and leaned on one of the walls in the moving box, but he couldn't. He bounced on the balls of his feet, and annoyingly paced in the five-by-five space he was confided to.
It seemed metaphorically appropriate to be trapped in the elevator after what had just happened. He did feel uncomfortable, almost suffocating. It was like all the emotions inside of him; anger, guilt, heartbreak, didn't have a place to go. He had so much of it, but so little options to release them.
He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He leans back to a wall only to hit his head against it. He even punched it a couple of times. He knew his fist would hurt in the morning but he didn't care. The pain would only be a fraction of a physical manifestation of what he feels deep inside of him.
"DING"
The elevator doors slid open and reveal an empty corridor. He walks out of the elevator and out to freedom. He didn't want to be here anymore. He had to escape anything that could possibly remind him of what just happened tonight, anything that could possibly remind him of him. He reaches the doors, and just as he was about to walk out into the chill of the New York night…
""Don! Please wait." A tired voice pleads in between difficult and deep breaths.
It came from the stairway door. He refused to look back, but nonetheless he could see him. The glass of the exit doors was enough to give the young detective a reflection of the other man.
He was just standing there breathing as hard as he could. He was still in his pajamas and wife-beater. It was clear he left in a hurry. He didn't even bother to put on a pair shoes. The man was barefoot and he was running after him. That meant something to Don, it should have. It normally would have, but he was too angry at him to give a damn. Then he walked out.
The night air was cool. It was late autumn so it shouldn't surprise him. The chill was welcomed; it almost numbed him of the pain he was feeling. This should make him feel better. He just had to forget about what had happened. He needed to leave it alone. He just needed to back to where he came from like nothing happened. He had to let it go. He wishes he could… but it only followed him.
"DON! Please wait." He pleaded again.
He was closer now. He didn't need to look back. He knew he was behind him. He knew Danny left Lindsay in the apartment, ran down seven flights of stairs and was now walking, without any shoes on a cold New York City side walk. A tiny part of his heart was beating on that realization alone. It gave him hope, and he hated it.
"Don please you got to look at me." He begged. "We have to talk about this."
He only continued walking. They didn't have to talk about anything, the younger man thought to himself. And who gave him the right to actually know what to do in this situation. He had no idea of what had just happened. He didn't understand what he was feeling and just how much it hurt. He couldn't even look at him.
"Don, please stop this." He begs again.
Why the hell should he? He asked silently. He didn't want to give the man the satisfaction of a reply. He didn't deserve it, like he didn't deserve to be treated like that. He didn't deserve to stand like an idiot outside his apartment and be surprised by someone, who he thought was his best friend, was with. He didn't deserve to feel like his insides were just scoped out of him and left to freeze.
"Please I need you to talk to me." He pleads his last resort.
He couldn't take it anymore. He quickly turned around closed the space between them. He grabbed Danny by the straps of his wife-beater and pushed him onto a near by ally wall. The sudden impact pushed air out of the shorter mans' lungs as a whimper, only to be muffled by the other man's mouth.
This was rough. Dons' kissed hard and violent. His back was against a brick wall and he was sure he hit something but he couldn't feel anything other than the other mans' lean yet sinewy body against him. His big hands grabbed him by his forearms. Dons' wet hot mouth was over his. His usually soft lips were chapped and forceful. His tongue pushing, prying for entrance was nearly down his throat.
Dear God Don is so much stronger than he think he is. Danny thought to himself. He was sure to get a bump on the head and a couple of bruises after this. He didn't care. Right now, Don and his rage were the only things that existed in Danny's universe. As much as it hurt him he knew why it was like this. He knew he caused all of this. He deserved so much worse than this.
He pushed his tongue against his. He bit and sucked on his lower lip until he could taste a faint hint of blood. He kept his whole weight on top of him. His whole body was against his; his chest as on his chest, he could feel the tremors of his stomach on his own. He kicked his legs open and pushed his erection against the older mans' own growing desire.
"Shit!" the shorter man cursed into his mouth.
This only urged the younger man to rub him harder. He practically pulls Danny off the ground up against the ally wall. His legs were wide open and vulnerable for Don to abuse.
Only the brunettes' slacks and his pajama bottoms separated them, but it wasn't enough to obstruct his full force. He could clearly feel his hard length underneath his pants and he was sure the blondes' were now soaking wet. He never had to do much to get him excited. He could have just asked the CSI and he would let him have his body in any way he wanted. It was that simple. He'd come over to fuck whenever he needed to and he was welcomed to do the same. It was that simple. Why'd he have to fuck this up too?
He could feel his lovers' growing need beneath him. Wait, he forgot, it was now ex-lover. It should only have been. It only started as horny friends with benefits. It wasn't supposed to be anything else, anything more. Then he had just to go ahead and fall for the guy. He just ended up wanting him, needing him and finally loving him more. He hoped it was mutual, he believed it was.
Now it was nothing. It was nothing but just another cause of heartache, and now all he wanted was an angry fuck, but he was going to, not like this. He refused to into him anymore. He wanted him to beg. He wanted to leave him wanting it. He wanted this. He wanted to show to Danny how much pain he felt. He wanted to physically hurt him. He wanted him to know how angry he was. He didn't want Danny to feel anything but him tonight and what it felt like to just be left.
Just when he could feel him tremble the way he does when he's about to climax, he just let him go and backed away. He looks at him fall to the ground. He hears him grunt as he hits the pavement. His face wrinkles like it does whenever he's uncomfortable. But he wasn't going to have any of him. The younger man forces the toughest poker face he could. He wasn't even giving him the satisfaction of getting a look of concern. He wasn't going to help him, not anymore. He didn't need his help. He didn't need him.
He waits for him to stand up. He does and leans just a little on the wall behind him. His erection visible underneath his pajama bottoms with a small wet spot. At first, he tries not to make any eye contact. He'd have a lot of nerve to after what he just did. He finally does look at him and he's greeted to the coldest stare Don could ever possibly make. He tries to explain, but Don raised his hand to stop him before he could even begin.
"Don't even bother."
Then he turns around and walks back to his car. He leaves his ex-lover behind in a cold and dark New York ally, in the middle of the night. He knew he'd still see him in the morning for work but it'll never really be the same after this.