"My marriage," James said, distress radiating from him as he fell into the half-squished avocado green armchair in his best mate's flat, "is falling apart."

"It's about time. Good to know Lily's finally come to her senses," Remus replied from the almost-matching plaid sofa across from him. He was preoccupied with finger combing newly-shortened black hair back from the forehead of the man languishing in his lap.

"I think she's going to leave me," James said despondently. "I can tell."

"Good on her," Sirius mumbled, muffled into the leg of his lover. "Shouldn't be tied down to you anyhow, bright girl like that. Probably would have left sooner if she had to deal with your," he lifted his head up for a moment to make sure he was heard clearly, "constant whining every damn week that your relationship is over."

James picked at the arm of the chair where the fabric had worn smooth. "Yes, but I think it's for real this time." Sirius snorted, but he continued. "I think there's someone else."

"Oh," Remus said, smiling slightly and giving the hair on his lap a little tug. "I hope it's Snape this time." Sirius scowled at the thought.

"She's always staring off," James ignored the peanut gallery, hopping to his feet and pacing to the lone window in the dingy flat his friends had procured and glaring out at the Muggles on the streets below as though one of them were the mystery man. "With this dreamy look on her face. And she keeps… smiling. For no reason at all! It makes no bloody sense. She gets all quiet one moment, and then the next she's angry at me over silly things."

"That's what you get, involving yourself with a female," Sirius sat up and leaned on the werewolf, patting the empty spot on his other side for James to take. "If you'd kept to blokes you wouldn't have this problem."

James sat next to him, put reached around his back to poke Remus in the back of the skull. "You're right. Maybe I should steal Moony from you, hm?"

"No," said Sirius darkly. "You shouldn't. It's not any better than being with a woman, being with a werewolf. Pretty much the same, really. Ow!" He yelped as Remus pinched him hard underneath his ribs. "Nasty bugger…"

"You deserve it. Besides, I thought we were discussing my crumbling marriage, not Moony's obvious femininity." He jumped back up off the couch to avoid a pinch of his own. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Have you tried, I don't know, talking to the poor girl about it?" Remus asked, reasonable as usual. Why did he always have to make so much bloody sense?

"Well of course not," James said, irritated. "Do you really think she'd come out and say 'Why yes, James dear, I am in love with someone else and I'm leaving you tomorrow,'?"

"Yes," the other two replied in tandem, before Sirius continued. "Look mate, Lily is nothing if not honest, right?" James nodded. "Then why would she ever keep something like this from you?"

The former seeker sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up to ridiculous proportions in a habit he still hadn't managed to break. "You're right, of course. I'm being daft again. When did you to get so bloody smart?"

"Some of us aren't getting our brain cells sapped out of us by crazy red-headed women," Sirius muttered. "Now get the fuck out of my flat."

James stood from his chair, which seemed to sigh in relief, waved to Remus, and made a rude gesture at his best friend before stumbling to the coat rack to grab his jacket to keep out the cold November wind.

He apparated home with a crack! and dropped his jacket on the floor just inside the door. "James," Lily appeared in the kitchen doorway, scowling but still imperceptibly glowing with happiness. "You put that on a hanger right now!"

Ignoring her, James crossed the room rapidly and scooped her up off the floor in a hug, spinning them around. Lily laughed, but hit at his shoulders. "James! James, stop that! James, this isn't good for me!"

He stopped a put her down immediately, giving her a puzzled, worried look. "Since when? Why? Are you sick? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"No, silly," Lily said, grinning, cheeks tinged with a blush. "I've already seen a doctor. I guess it's time I told you, I'm pregnant."

James fainted.