At The Pool

by ll Akane Nakatsukasa ll

This is just a very stupid crackfic in which Ruka and the Day Class prez dies, Zero and Aidou don't know how to swim and Kaname has a Barbie floaty ring! I mean no offence to all fangirls and fanboys. Rated T for retardedness and people dying.

Me : Hi there~ This is a crackfic and if you don't like crackfics, please don't continue reading. I have no intention to offend all fangirls (and maybe even some fanboys), this crackfic was just a result of a spicy burger and some weird-tasting, yet still delicious, Taiwanese tea. But somehow I don't this is a crackfic... I'm not even sure what a crakfic is... And ithis crack has a very, very high chance of sucking... Nevermind, this is written in a third person's POV, without further ado, I present you with my first (what I think is a) crackfic!^_^

Yuuki ran out of the changing rooms and slapped Kaname on the back real hard. "Yo, Kaname, dude! Wassup?" But unfortunately, Kaname was standing right at the edge of the 1.8 metre deep swimming pool, so he fell right in... and started struggling not to drown.

"Help meeee! I'm gonna die if no one saves me! HELP!" Kaname screamed for help in the way a 5-year-old human girl would. Aidou overheard Kaname's girly cries for help and rushed near the edge of the pool. And Aidou shouted "Have no fear, AIDOU'S HERE!" before jumping headfirst into the pool.

But Aidou ended up drowing in the pool with Kaname. "Help us! We're drowning!" the two drowning vampires shouted. Akatsuki, who just happened to be near by, scanned his surroundings. He found a Barbir floaty ring with 'Kaname's Girl Float' written on it in big fuchsia letters.

He picked the Barbie floaty ring and threw it in the direction of two vampires were still screaming hysterically for help in the not so huge body of water. "AKATSUKI, YOU SAVED US!" cried Aidou as he and the dorm leader grabbed on to the floaty ring and paddled back to the edge of the pool.

In a few seconds, the finally saved vampires reached the edge of the pool. But, unfortunately, the moment they set foot on dry ground, they... slipped and fell right back in. And, they landed on the floaty ring, so it burst and their nearly last hope was gone.

"Noooooo!" they cried as they began drowning again. Yuuki and Akastuki found the way the Day Class girls' favourite Night Class boy and the Night Class' Pureblooded dorm leader's reactions funny and burst out in raucous laughter. Zero, who just happened to be passing by at the exact moment Yuuki and Akatsuki collapsed to the ground in their laughing fits, watched two of the vampires he hated the most drown and... began laughing like a person who recently escaped from a mental institution.

Zero rolled and rolled on the ground as he laughed and laughed and fell in the pool too. At that same moment, the Chairman's, who had been singing in one of the showering rooms in the male changing rooms all this while, horrible singing voice was heard.

You, you
Cause it goes on and on and on
And it goes on and on and on

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying 'ayo'
Gotta let go

I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying 'ayo'
Baby, let's go

There was silence, if you didn't count the screaming of the three vampires in the pool, the insane laughter of Yuuki and Akatsuki, the random shouts of other people and the sound effects of Monster Hunter on a PSP, for a few seconds. And then, the Chairman began singing again.

How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally
It comes naturally

You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally
Mmm... It comes naturally

The Chairman sung, Yuuki and Akatsuki laughed while Kaname-dono, Aidou and Zero cried for help and others... Just wait till they find out someone's watching...

Rima and Shiki were prancing, frisking around like little kids all the while squealing in delight and giggling in a retarded manner that only babies can manage with broad grins on their faces. And Ruka? Well, let's just say the random noises that people can't make were coming from the PSP she wsas holding in her hands; she was playing Monster Hunter with a obsessed gleam in her unusually wide dusky rose eyes.

"GRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" That sounds like the Incredible Hulk, huh? Out of the blue, the Day Class president leapt out of the bushes besides where the beach chairs (even though it was a swimming pool) were, making the out of character, childish Rima and Shiki jump in shock.

Then, the modelling partners hid behind Ichijou, who was sound asleep on a beach chair despite all the commotion and was snoring real loudly. "Mwahahaha! You... Ruka Souen rejected me! Even though I was so rich, so talented and so very handsome!" he screamed psychotically.

What the hell? That may be your reaction but the Day Class prez fished out a super awesome and scary-looking rifle thing and shot Ruka. BANG! Then, Ruka died of excessive blood loss. Once the 'bang!' was heard, Ichijou woke up with a start, after which, fell back asleep again, and started snoring loudly again. Drool began spilling down the edges of his mouth again.

But, as quickly as the Day Class prrez appeared, Yuuki took out a dagger thingy and threw it at the prez, who, for some weird reason, had red skin and spiky blue hair. And the prez died that very same day the girl who rejected him in a polite manner did. "Aw yeah, man! That crazy human dude's DEAD! D.E.A.D! Dead, I tell ya! Wahahahah!"

Then, everyone looked at Kaname, who suddenly began cheering in the pool.

~The End~