Legend of Zelda- Character Sheet of Time
Have you ever wondered what Link or anyone else would look like on a GURPS character sheet?
...Didn't think so. But if you play tabletop roleplaying (D&D, GURPS, etc.)- or even if you don't and are curious as to how one can describe Link on paper- here it is! If you don't understand two whits of what I just said, just read on. It's fun.
I'm going to be using a GURPS system to describe the attributes, advantages/disadvantages, skills, etc. of Link and, if people like it or I have fun, maybe Zelda, Navi, Tetra, etc. If you have no clue what GURPS is, I'll describe the stuff that's not self-explanatory. Basically, this is if you wanted to play Link as a tabletop role-playing character and had to give him stats so you could do that. MapleStory does this kind of thing too.
You don't have to read in order.
I'll stop ranting! Here's Link!
Link Smith Race: Hylian Appearance: Varies! Size Modifier: 0 (normal)
Since I'm sort of lumping all the Links into one sheet, I can't really say whether he's blond or brown-haired, kid or adult, etc...
(In Minish Cap his grandfather's name is Smith, so that's what I'm going with. Possibly he could also be Link Customer, according to Wind Waker Beadle.)
Attributes
These are the basic stats for a character. 10 is the default number; 6 is disabling; 20 is godlike power.
Strength(ST): 10
Dexterity(DX): 14 How many weapons can this guy use, again?...What's that? You don't remember? Well. I see how fanly you are.
Intelligence(IQ): 12 Link has played through every Zelda game to date. That's gotta take some brains.
Health(HT): 13 Hours of dungeon crawling on end might make a human buff, but it makes an elf toned.
Hit Points(HP): 12 He'll fight to the end, but there is a reasonable point of death.
Perception(Per): 10
Willpower: 13 Triforce of Courage, anyone?
Fatigue Points (FP): 15 He runs, jumps, fights and crawls for hours, and a little red pixellated image will perk him up.
Advantages
Unlike skills, advantages are traits that give you an edge but aren't really learned or built up. Nearly all advantages are pre-listed in the GURPS manual.
Ally Group (ZPAC) (Appear fairly often; 6-10 people)
ZPAC stands for the Zelda Plot Action Committee. That would include Navi, Ezlo, Midna, King of Red Lions, Ciela, Linebeck, Tetra, her Pirates, Sahasrala...
Xeno-Adaptability (total adaptability to all cultures, cross-race or not)
I"M SERIOUS! Okay, listen: Ocarina of Time. Here's this little Kokiri boy who has quite possibly never seen in active memory 1) an adult, 2) brick walls; 3) a cobblestone road, 4) a castle, 5) an open field or 6) non-green clothing. And yet, here he goes waltzing across Hyrule Field and the drawbridge into Hyrule Castle Town, without a single care that he should technically have collapsed to his knees on the stone pathway screaming "CULTURE SHOCK!" at the top of his little lungs!
Combat Reflexes (recover quickly from surprise attacks)
The sword is ready the minute you swipe it, whether it was drawn before or not.
Versatile (resourcefulness)
Need to get to the next highest floor of a fire dungeon? Simple! Just find a geyser of lava and throw a pot of water on it. As every Hylian knows, this creates a platform of solid lava, and- voila!- it's like having your very own elevator! Isn't that cute?
Destiny (Save that world!)
"Save the world" is an advantageous Destiny (Destiny can also be a disadvantage) because of the glory. (I would assume that being a holder of one of three legendary Triforce pieces means you get something good?)
Fearlessness 2 (bonus on dice rolls against fear)
Triforce of Courage. Courage. The two seem to have a subtle similarity.
Jumper (Time) (2 time slots only)
This represents Link's ability to switch between his child form, and seven years later.
Reawakened
This lets me give Link a lot of these advantages because he's been "reawakened" from each of his game forms, and all the skills he's learned come together on one character sheet. Without this advantage, the Game Master would not allow me to gather all these random advantages, because I would have no backstory.
Shrinking 3
Minish Cap Picori Link! (Did you know that the prefix pico- is actually a scientific term used to denote 10-to-the-negative-12-power of a unit? So 20 picograms would be... very, very small.)
Weapon Master (Boomerang)
Everyone knows Link is super at swordfighting- but he's also super at using his Roc's Cape, hookshot, etc.Out of all of these, though, Boomerang is the one I pick for the Weapon Master Advantage. Listen- have you ever actually tried to throw a boomerang? I have! And I can tell you, you don't just pick it up, fling it, and have it hit five different targets. Heck, for a few days, you're lucky to have it come back! For goodness sake, Link doesn't even catch it right- his hand would sprain so badly if he really tried to grab a spinning boomerang. Technically, you clap it as it spins horizontally towards you and wait for it to slow down- but does Link do that? No! And here he is, throwing it across the Wind Waker's ocean at a giant octorok, like he knows how! What if that boomerang landed in the ocean, Link? What then, punk?! That octo would spit you across the ocean into the Fire Mountain, that's what, you lazy, uncultured pixellation!
Signature Gear (Hat)
I wonder if the pointed-floppy-hat fashion has any connotations in Hyrule? Like how a black beanie sort of says "city" to a lot of people? -You know, I'll just bet it's a sign of chastity. Yes! Then even the Vio/Dark Shonen Ai folks would be wrong, wrong, wrong!! Wahahaha!
Disadvantages
Hey, howdy, hey- disadvantages are the opposite of advantages!
Cannot Speak
Ah, the unvoiced Link. Maintaining that with Navi is possibly the highest show of patience ever attained by a mortal being. (Unless his larynx was broken from childhood. His mother knew she shouldn't have rode Epona over that log!)
Kleptomania ( compulsive stealing)
Okay, unless it's against your ethic, I don't know how you call yourself a Zelda fan if you have never forced poor, "innocent" Link to smash a pot, crawl under a bed, or bomb a wall in some villager's house in pursuit of every last one of their rupees.
Dependent (Zelda) (Appears fairly often)
The delicate damsel in distress. Tetra and alliteration despise me right now.
Enemies (GAVVA) (Appears fairly often)
GAVVA stands for the Ganon-Agahnim-Vaati-Veran Alliance. Ah, corrupted power! A wonderful tool in storytelling! Let's tell the children all about it!
Frightens Animals (Chickens/pigs only; -60 point value)
Why do pigs run from Link? Why, why, why? It's one of life's great mysteries. Unfortunately, I cannot ask the same thing about the cuccos. We all know why they're afraid of Link. "Yes, of course, I'll walk right up to this guy who just threw me halfway across the room and who is now eying his boomerang in a suspicious-looking manner! Fascist pig!"
If you know what I'm quoting, tell me so that I can virtually scoop you into a bone-crushing Goron hug! You're awesome! And you're also a geek! What a wonderful combination!
Selfless
Don't you think that one day, just maybe, one of the Links could walk right up to that Deku Tree/talking boat/king of Hyrule, and say, "You know what? No! I'm gonna plop my butt down right here on this log/sandbar/bed and live my life in peace! You want three medallions, enter the Olympics!" That would be awesome, wouldn't it? Well... not really, because then none of us could plop our butts down on a couch/bed/beanie chair and make Link run and jump and fight at our command. And that, dear friends, would be terrible.
(By the way, Selfless is a disadvantage because, even when it would be much better/easier to save your own skin, your character might be forced to go back and help someone.)
Clueless
Link, there is more to attraction than those FS Magnetic Gloves. Those OoT Great Fairies are actively trying their best to get you to turn beet red. Wind Waker Link and Televised Link are the only ones that seem to get the concept! TV Link actually tries to kiss Zelda actively, bad animation and all- and WW Link? Even as a mute, he actually has slightly admirable social literacy. (slight spoilers approaching) For example, the Fairy Queen says that he is "just her type", and he actually has the sense to look away and smile embarrassedly. One of the best breakthroughs in the LoZ history I know of, though, is this moving case: Link walks into Beadle's floating boat-shop. Now Beadle, catching poor Link unawares, asks if he knows the pirate girl, Tetra. Then what happens? I'll tell you what happens! Beadle smiles smugly- "You're blushing, Mr. Customer! You can't hide it from me!" Did you SEE THAT?! LINK ACTUALLY BLUSHED! Lyk ZOMG! (sigh) And the fact that I have been reduced to "zounds oh my gosh" by this event, friends, is why this disadvantage is listed.
Nightmares
Wouldn't it be harsh to be plagued by nightmares about your long-lost mom and the man that wants to kill you, every night of your life? It's a wonder Link doesn't go psychotic! ...Maybe, though... Maybe he IS psychotic! And that's why he wanders through Hyrule, because then he doesn't have to deal with people! And that's why he's mute, and why he's socially Clueless... It's all because of them dang Nightmares! I have it figured out now!
Responsive(Quirk)
Responsive is a watered-down version of the disadvantage Charitable. While Link doesn't usually go around giving Rupees to everyone he meets(except some of those nudist Great Fairies, when they ask him for money; maybe he can't think straight!), he isn't entirely callous.
Skills
These are the things you build up over time. Each of them is based on an attribute (the higher that attribute, the easier it is to be good at that skill) and (usually) a level number. I've only included the concept of the skill here, though, because for my purposes, the numbers are frivolous. And I'm lazy that way.
Animal Handling (Equines) (IQ-based)
Boating/TL4 (that means Technology Level 4, about 1450 to 1730 AD) (DX)
Climbing (DX)
Cartography (IQ)
Thanks to the innovations of the Nintendo DS, Link is an amateur at this handy skill. After he retires from adventuring, do you think he'll become a cartographer? Hey, he's seen the world firsthand!... Then again, maybe he'll die at an adventure instead... Nah. Videogame PC's never die. They just go into short comas during which they teleport through spacetime to the last time they opened a door. (Pretty specific type of coma.)
Bow (DX)
What's an elf without a bow? I'm sure even those elves up at the North Pole have a little shortbow stashed away in their dorms...
Crossbow(DX)
I heard tell of a little Wii package called "Link's Crossbow Training"... whether it is true or merely legend we shan't know...
Fast-draw (Sword) (DX)
B button- BLAM! A sword materializes in your very hand, smiting those Wallmasters before they... nevermind.
Fishing(Per)
Who hasn't spent time in Twilight Princess or Ocarina fishing away, while Zelda waits patiently in a dungeon for the world to end around her?
Hiking(HT)
Broadsword (DX)
I'm no expert on swords, so if there's a better classification for Link's swords (which he mysteriously knows exactly how to swipe, parry and lunge with mere seconds after picking one up-- aw, geez, stop me before I go into another Boomerang rant), then tell me. Maybe it's a shortsword.
Explosives(Demolition- required specialty) (IQ)
Bombs, bombs, the jailable word! Tell TSA and they'll flip you the bird!
Why do Hylian shopkeepers allow children to buy bomb bags? Is it a death wish, high expectations of youth, or good old-fashioned stupidity? Or programmers at Nintendo who expect you to suspend your disbelief?
Musical Instrument (Ocarina) (IQ)
What's a Link without his Ocarina? A Wind Waker Link, that's what. I wish I could actually hear some nice ocarina music; all I have is this red plastic ocarina that sounds like you dunked a mourning dove into an aquarium and put a stethoscope to the water and listened to it through a chunk of dirt. That's exactly what it sounds like.
Riding(Horse) (DX)
What is it about horses that gets them into movies and videogames everywhere?
Shield (DX)
Stealth (DX)
"These guards are so dumb, I could put on these iron boots and he wouldn't care... SHTOMP SHTOMP SHTOMP! Hah! -Oh, shoot, I cracked the marble walkway! The crack ran right in front of him! I'll run behind this bush... SHTOMP SHTOMP SHTOMP...Shoot, shoot, shoot... Okay, he didn't notice."
Thaumatology (IQ)
This is the study of magic. With a Magic Meter and multiple spells to use, Link knows his magic.
Reputation
Reputations are described rather vaguely in the GURPS manual (in that there aren't specific Reputations listed, like advantages and skills are). But generally, it modifies a dice roll to see how other people that the Game Master throws in there react to you when they meet you for the first time The higher the dice roll, the better the reaction. It's basically asking: Are you well known?... Is it a GOOD kind of well known? As you can imagine, Link has a pretty good reputation...
Hero of Time; Hero of Wind; Holder of the Triforce of Courage
Modifier: +4 (the highest modifier you can get from a reputation!)from Almost Everyone in the Game World
-2 from Small Class (all servants of GAVVA) You make enemies, too!
But almost everyone in the stinkin' world? Don't be complaining too much! You're quite nearly feared by folks, hey! And with good reason.
And now, dear friends, you are able to launch Link into a world of danger, adventure, and proud gamer geeks! ...Another one, I mean.
How did you like the sheet, and its deep, philosophical commentary? Please review with as much honesty as you can bring yourself to write!
-tiger-SAMBA signing off