To: Nameless Blood Traitor
Gaudy Gryffindor Tower
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
From: Sir Regulus Alphonse Black, Esquire
Noble Houses of Black and Slytherin
Hogwarts School etc etc
January 13, 1976
Dearest Ex-Sibling,
For the first time I am saddened that you have been expunged from our most excellent family tree. I have just heard the news that you are failing your N.E.W.T. level Divination class because your crystal ball refuses to show anything but "wolves, Dementors, and lightning". Finally you will understand the messy fate of Muggle-loving traitors like yourself.
My only regret is that I'm no longer permitted to speak your name and therefore have to miss out on telling Mother of your grand accomplishments.
The Proud, the Loyal,
Regulus A. Black
To: Stupid Git
The Dank Dungeon of Despair
Hogwarts
From: Sirius Badass Black
High in Gryffindor Tower
Hogwarts
January 14, 1976
Bugger off you poncy cuntface.
-S.B.
January 14, 1976
Muggle-lover,
You snog your boyfriend with that tongue?
~Regulus Black
January 15, 1976
Jealous?
-S
January 15, 1976
Not vaguely, but I am curious.
How do the poor people live in these days? I mean, aside from off the pity of their friends' parents. How on earth did you afford new books and robes this term? None of my housemates understand it.
Oh, there are theories of course. Everyone's seen that cute little collar of yours, and of course people will talk.
How many do you see per night, and at how many knuts an hour? Do you do girls at all, or is it an all-bloke business?
-Regulus
January 16, 1976
At least I have friends, not just alliances. And I'm damn glad that I got out of that house when I did if Walburga and Orion's plan was for me to become the arrogant brat that you are now.
-S
P.S.- More than you can afford, and I don't ask questions of my custom, only that they remove their green ties.
January 18, 1976
I'm a very important man these days. You'll be sorry, you and your mudblood filth.
January 19, 1976
Slytherin saps the ability to joke right out of you, doesn't it? I suspected as much, between Snivellus and that Malfoy bastard.
You remember back when you weren't such a whiny pouf? No, me neither, because it never happened, but you do seem worse lately.
I very much doubt you're an important man at fifteen, though I'm sure you think you are, but remember that to me you'll always be the pale, shaking little worm whose first boggart came out of the cupboard as his father.
-S. Black
To: Slimy Ex-Brother
Slytherin Dungeon
Hogwarts
From: Sirius Black
Gryffindor
Hogwarts
March 23, 1976
I was speaking to that Ravenclaw you used to date (remarkable how much these birds talk after they've had their first good shag) and she mentioned to me that you seem to have fallen in with a bad crowd, one which even dearest Mumsy and Dadsy do not approve of.
Well done! I congratulate you on your first foray into puberty: acquiring testicles.
- Sirius B.
May 20, 1976
Do not write me again. You have no idea what you're talking about.
To: Mr. Sirius Black
London Flat
Wizarding London, England
From: R. Black
England
November 18, 1979
Sirius,
I realize we didn't part on the best of terms. Far from it, I know, but you are my only chance. There is nothing in this world for me to rely on but blood, and you are the only one who might understand the trouble I am having, who might be able to help.
I've gotten in far, brother Sirius, farther than I ever really expected to, and it's a great deal darker than any cupboard or closet you ever locked me into.
I may have found a solution, but I'm not certain it will work or if so for how long. I want out, Sirius, and you are the only one who I know would not turn me in to my master. I swear to you that if you do this you will have power and knowledge beyond your imagining.
Please, write me back soon. The owl will find me, though I can't tell you where I am. I appeal to your status as a brother and as a good man.
Sincerely,
R.A.B.
November 20, 1979
Do not write me again. You have no idea what you're talking about.
-S.
P.S.- I have my own definition of family now. Blood has nothing to do with it.