I changed the title, which was "Ignorance is bliss" because when I checked the November schedule, I saw that it was the title for episode 9... I didn't know, and it bothers me: I hate it when fanfics have the same title as actual House epis... so now it's called "we'll see who gets there first"...
Just a OneShot to start writing again. It's been a while, I need to test the engine, so to speak... Reviews are helpful so fire away people!
Cuddy had been going out with Lucas for two months when House came back from Mayfield.
Their relationship was perfect: he was romantic but not too much. She was free to show him what she felt, they made each other laugh. He was witty and yet nothing he said was ever demeaning. She was free to be her smart self without him feeling threatened. He loved that she was intellectually challenging. Lucas understood Cuddy had to work a lot and he was great with Rachel. Her daughter and the PI were very found of each other. Lucas was the perfect partner. The sex was amazing. Depending on the mood, Lucas could be gentle or passionate. Nothing was ever dull. It was the perfect relationship, the one Lisa had been waiting for all these years. And yet...
Lisa had been keeping her relationship with Lucas a secret: she explained to him that House had been in a psychiatric institution and she didn't want to confuse him with any changes. More than ever he needed stability in his environment. He had so much to deal with...
Lucas understood and if he was bothered, he didn't show it. He knew House had some feelings for Lisa and suspected those feelings had been mutual but she seemed over him since even before they started dating. He didn't have anything to worry about: his relationship with Lisa was rock-solid.
House could count on one hand the number of times he had talked to Cuddy since he was back: three times at work and once when Cuddy paid him a visit at Wilson's. They never spent time alone and they never talked about anything personal. Nobody could have guessed they even knew each other personally by the way they acted.
As House was getting better and more balanced, Cuddy allowed herself to act happier. He caught her smiling and when he would incidentally ask her what made her smile, she would shrug and give him a Rachel-related reason.
House had changed but he was still curious and he decided to follow Cuddy to see if there was any changes in her life. Happy Cuddy was an anomaly and unexplained change still bugged him.
The pre-Mayfield Cuddy used to get to work at 8:30 or 9 at the latest and left at 7:30.
Now, she was at work from 9:30 to 5pm.
At 5pm, House barged in Wilson's office and asked him if he wanted to grab a bite since they had been too busy to have lunch. The oncologist followed his friends and they both headed to the elevator. The doors made a stop at the main floor and they both saw Cuddy locking her office door and leaving with a happy sway of her hips. She smiled at Nurse Brenda and got out of the hospital.
Five minutes later, House was seated in the cafeteria with Wilson and was distractedly chewing on his cold pickle-free Reuben.
"Did you notice Cuddy has been leaving the hospital earlier these days?" House asked distractedly.
"I guess since she doesn't have to hunt you down to stop you from performing useless and dangerous procedures, she can focus on her work and get things done for once" the oncologist offered, matter-of-fact.
House smothered the guilt he felt and focused on the puzzle that was Cuddy these days. He wasn't used to feeling guilty and didn't like it one bit.
"Huh uh, there's something else. She actually looks... I don't know... different"
"Happy?" Wilson suggested.
"Yeah, I guess that's the correct term" the diagnostician grumbled, annoyed.
"And that makes you..." he was about to say "curious" but he saw something in House's eyes that was more than curiosity. "...angry" he finished with a shocked expression.
"That actually bothers you to see her happy" Wilson said as if he was having an epiphany.
"No, I'm glad she is, but I wonder why" House replied, his piercing blue eyes focused on the Cuddy enigma.
"Maybe being a mother suits her" Wilson argued dismissively, looking for any excuses to make House drop the subject.
"She has had Mowgli for months but she has been looking deliriously happy only for a few weeks" House stated, logical.
"No House, you just weren't there to see, you didn't pay attention"
House suddenly had this look, the one he had when Wilson gave him the answer and Wilson didn't like it one bit when it wasn't patient-related.
"You know what is going on with Cuddy!!!" House realized, looking at him knowingly. "Wilson..." he hissed threateningly.
"What?" the oncologist tried to act innocent. "There's nothing to know" he assured.
"You're usually such a good liar, which means you wanna tell me. Just spill it already"
"No, House, just please leave Cuddy alone. She's happy, you're getting better, just keep avoiding talking to her"
"When did you decide to drop your matchmaking career?" he inquired suspiciously.
"When I admitted you two are better off apart" he deadpanned. "I thought she could make you happy and I didn't really think of HER happiness. Now you both are okay so I'm tossing my Cupid arrows in the trash where they belong"
House was not convinced but temporarily dropped the subject. 'I will figure it out on my own' he thought.
"Okay" House said to his best friend.
"Okay? Oh no, House, I know that look... What are you going to do now?"
"Jimmy, I've changed, I resent you implying that I'm going to do anything stupid" he said in his most innocent voice, which contrasted with his mischievous look and made Wilson extra nervous.
"Oh God what are you planning to do?" Now Wilson was really worried.
"Keep your secrets, I'll keep mine" he said mysteriously and -he hoped- intriguingly before leaving Wilson worrying about Cuddy. Or so House thought.
In fact, Wilson was more afraid House would get hurt when he learns about Cuddy and Lucas than concerned about Cuddy. He was keeping his mouth shut more to protect House than Cuddy's secret. He wasn't fooled, he knew House was up to something.
'It's not gonna end well' he thought gloomily, but there was nothing he could do about it. He knew his friend: House couldn't be stopped when he had something on his mind. Wilson felt he needed to tell Cuddy to act less happy or House would figure out she was in a relationship.
So he called her on her cell.
"James, what's up?" Cuddy answered friendly.
"House is onto something" he said bluntly. "He doesn't know about you and Lucas yet, but it's only a matter of time until he puts two and two together. You leave the hospital at 5pm everyday, you're glowing, what did you expect?" Wilson asked, alarmed.
"Am I supposed to look lonely and desperate for him to be satisfied?" Cuddy was getting irritated by both Wilson and the situation.
"Yeah, precisely" he stated, impassive.
"Well, I'm sorry but even if I won't flaunt my happiness in his face, I won't pretend to be miserable" she declared. "Lucas and me... it is serious. Sooner or later, House's gonna find out, so..."
"NO!" yelled Wilson. "It's too soon, he's not healed yet. He's gonna get hurt" he continued vehemently, leaving Cuddy astonished.
She quickly recovered and was getting angry too "HE DOESN'T CARE! He never cared about me, Wilson, he will get jealous, but he won't get hurt" she said impatiently.
"You're wrong" Wilson denied vehemently.
"No, trust me: he hates when people around him change or improve their lives, but he'll get over it. I won't stay miserable because it suits him better. He will eventually accept it, or he won't. We're not close anymore anyway..." she said sadly.
"Yeah, he'll accept your relationship with Lucas, just like he accepted my relationship with Amber. We know how that turned out... One can only wonder what he'll do to separate you from Lucas" he said without thinking, and then stopped abruptly, shocked at what he had just said.
Cuddy was also shocked, 'did Wilson just imply that Amber died because House was jealous?' she wondered.
"Wilson..." she began, hesitant.
"Forget it, just please listen to me: be discreet okay?" he pleaded, almost begging.
"Okay, I'll hide it better. Don't worry. But Wilson: we're living together, what if I marry Lucas one day, how am I gonna hide it? Am I supposed to keep it a secret forever?"
"No, I'm just saying now is not a good time for him to know" he insisted.
"Right. I'll talk to you later Wilson. Stop worrying so much, it's all gonna be okay. And, trust me: House doesn't care about me, okay? He had a sex delusion about me, that's all. He got over Stacy, don't you think he can get over something as trivial as a sex fantasy?" she tried to convince him.
"You're probably right" he sighed, defeated. 'She's as stubborn as he is' he thought. "Bye Cuddy" he said out loud.
"Bye. And James? Thank you for taking care of him" she said affectionately. "He's lucky to have you".
"Thanks Lisa" and with that they hung up.
Cuddy was hurrying to her destination. She was running late because of Wilson's phone call and she was driving above the speed limit. She was so focused on getting there on time that she didn't notice the bike that was following her.
She finally arrived in her driveway and quickly parked her car. She was looking for her house keys in her bag when the door opened and she was welcomed by the cutest sight ever: Lucas was holding Rachel in his arms and the baby was giggling and playing with Lucas earlobes.
The PI smiled at her and leaned to put a lingering kiss on her lips.
When she saw Cuddy, Rachel blurted "mama" and raised her plump little baby arms. Cuddy took Rachel and entered her house with Lucas's hand on the small of her back.
House was looking at the closed door, still seated on his parked bike, dumbfounded. He felt a wave of nausea take over his body and tried to ignore it. He knew he should have left but he couldn't move. All he could think about was Lucas's voice telling him "we'll see who gets there first".
Obviously, he did.
House had been sitting there for what seemed an eternity when Cuddy's babysitter came to pick up the baby. House wondered if they were going out. "Go home already" he hissed to himself, but he couldn't. He had to know how long they had been dating, if it was serious, if they were sleeping together. So he got off his bike and approached her bedroom's window. He couldn't see Lucas but he saw Cuddy in an incredibly erotic lingerie set and he got two answers to his many questions: no, they were not going out tonight and yes, they undeniably were sleeping together. He didn't wait for Lucas to appear. He had a hard time taking his eyes off of Cuddy's gorgeous body, but he knew he couldn't stand the sight of her with another man so he quickly turned and got back to his bike, limping away from his worse nightmare.
He just drove around for hours and didn't know how or when he got to Wilson's apartment but when he arrived, it was dark outside and Wilson was pacing in the living room. When his friend saw him, he let out a relieved sigh, immediately replaced by an angry look.
"Where the hell were you? We were supposed to watch the Monster Trucks and have dinner. You've left the hospital five hours ago, where have you been??"
House didn't acknowledge Wilson. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture and was about to ignore him when an idea popped into his head "You're not my mom, Wilson. Did you know Cuddy was dating someone?" he asked angrily.
Wilson was taken aback and stared guiltily at the floor.
"You knew, didn't you?" It was more an accusation than a real question.
"Yes, I knew. Look, I was just trying to protect you" he explained. "Is that what you were doing? Spying on Cuddy?" he asked sadly.
House once again ignored his friend. "With Lucas????????????" House yelled, resentful.
"Honestly, what difference does it make? Would it be better if it was some random guy?"
"Actually, yeah" he spat, not trying to hide how hurt he was.
"Why?" Wilson asked.
"Cause I would have destroyed him, if he was a loser, an idiot. Lucas is fine, he's smart and funny. Goddammit!" House threw his cane and laid down in the couch, an arm covering his face.
"I'm sorry House" Wilson said sympathetically.
"Why would you be? She actually waited for me to go mental and to be institutionalized to start dating. She must have been relieved that I wasn't there to crash her dates" he said, knowing how unfair he was being but he needed to vent.
"House, you can't possibly expect her to stay alone forever" Wilson muttered, trying to calm the diagnostician.
"Why not? I'm a self-centered misanthropic ass, I don't want anyone to be happy" he said bitterly.
Wilson remained silent and he finally looked at House and said "you should have made a move a long time ago, now it's too late"
"You think I don't know that???" he barked angrily. His leg hurt. The dull throbbing in his leg was turning into an excruciating pain and he started to massage his leg without even noticing. His wince didn't go unnoticed by Wilson though.
"House, you need to get over whatever you think you're feeling for Cuddy. Seriously: you moved on. You slept with another woman, you improved your relationship with everybody around you except for Cuddy. Don't you think you've been that cold and indifferent to her because deep down you're just not into her?" he suggested.
Wilson didn't want to push him towards her anymore. He needed House to realize that there was no chance left with Cuddy, he had to convince him that he wasn't in love with her. He didn't want his friend to suffer because if he did, he would eventually try to numb the pain, and everyone knew how it could turn out. Alcohol and Vicodin were out of the question. Wilson would do anything to prevent him from using again. Even if it meant keeping House and Cuddy apart. Even if it meant them not even being friends anymore.
"Wilson... I lo..." House started.
"No you don't!!! You don't feel anything for her, you never have. There was nothing but physical attraction to begin with. You need to see that the pain you're feeling right now is just possessiveness. Not love. It's not a tragedy, you'll be okay House, life goes on" Wilson tried to be rational and reassuring, but House was still hurting, both mentally and physically.
"It's not just my leg. My chest hurts. How do you explain that?"
"What? You have chest pain?" Wilson asked, panicked
"It's not a heart attack, you idiot. Relax. I'm just heart-broken"
"Is that the same feeling as when Stacy left?"
"It's worse. I resented Stacy for what she did to me, it did hurt, I loved her, but this time... it's just different. I don't think I ever loved anyone as I love Cuddy" he said, his head down.
Wilson was stunned: he had never seen House being so open and honest. At that exact moment, he knew House was truly in love with Cuddy. He surprised himself when he starting to think of means to break Lucas and Cuddy up. 'God, I'm worse than House is' he thought, exasperated.
"House, I'm afraid you've waited for too long, it's over, she's in love with Lucas, and he just worships her. They might... I mean they're serious"
House couldn't take it anymore "How is that helpful?" he sourly asked.
"You have to forget the 'what ifs' and the 'maybes'. Think about clinic-duty-Cuddy, and trip-wire-Cuddy and 'no-procedure-Cuddy" Wilson listed, trying to make him think of everything House can hate about her.
"Yeah, that's genius: clinic duty is gonna do the trick. God, it worked, I don't love her anymore! Thanks" he deadpanned. "Go to sleep, I'll be okay"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I just need to sleep it off" he said sarcastically.
Not knowing what else to say, Wilson sighed. "Night House"
"Night Wilson"
With that, Wilson left him, hoping he would get some sleep.
House decided that for once, he would let Cuddy enjoy her relationship and would not interfere. There was nothing to do anyway. Or was there? If he knew Cuddy as well as he thought he did, she would screw things up. It was only a matter of time. She was dysfunctional and all he had to do is let her know that he knew about them and be an adult about it. She would be intrigued and eventually would see him in a whole new light. She couldn't stay away from him, they had a special connection that no one could even begin to comprehend. Sooner or later, she would realize that they were meant for each other. He fell asleep with that reassuring thought.