Characters: Gin, Rangiku
Summary: How I start.
Pairings: GinRan
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for Soul Society arc and Deicide arc
Timeline: Soul Society arc
Author's Note: I couldn't resist.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
I watch you fast asleep, and I know when you wake the one I am now won't be the one you see anymore. When the sun rises beyond the hills, everything will change, and I never want this night to end.
I always want to remember you the way you are now.
One thin strand still ties him to the world he is to betray and Gin can't find the heart in him to cut it and throw it away from him.
But the strand corrodes and he can feel it. He suspects Rangiku can too.
It's starting again. All those questions ring in his mind, all those doubts echo in his heart. He wonders, again and again, if he shouldn't just forget everything that pulls him with clawed hands back further and further into darkness. It isn't worth it, he fears.
And in truth, he's a little afraid to lose her, to see the hurt, the betrayal, the anger in her eyes that he knows must come, to grow away from her, to never see her again even if this doesn't all go wrong.
Gin almost gives into that small voice as he watches Rangiku sleeping. Her soft breathing, untroubled, carried off on the whisper of some far-off dream, fills the room and floods his ears like an ocean to drown in.
But then he remembers, and looks away.
Gin has a job to do, and duty won't allow him to do anything less. This is more important than he and Rangiku ever will be.
He'll always remember her, Gin supposes.
But Gin will always wonder how he forgot when he came to the point when it was too late to turn back—when he knew he'd waded too far out into the river, that if he attempted to move back he'd drown in the currents. He'll wonder why he forgot when it was too late to just take her hand and forget everything that doused him in shadows.
When did it become too late to do anything but watch, as it all burns to cinders, and falls to ash?