Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. None of these characters belong to me, sadly. I am just using them and parts of the plot of Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi to relay a story that I love. All characters and parts of the plot belong to Shungiku Nakamura.
Just Stay
Written by: SadieAnnabethMellark ( porkcutletbowltrash)
Summary: "I'm a-asking you to please not go to Yokozawa's." Masamune wanted to cry at the sound of his lover so worked up; so upset. He had always hated when Ritsu was this upset. His beautiful Ritsu always looked better with a smile on his face and his cheeks softened by his blushing. Set towards the end of episode 17.
"Let go." Takano's voice was a low mumble as he stared at the door in front of him. He just needed to push through this and walk away. He needed to let Ritsu go for this moment. The pain was too much and it was slowly swallowing him. His beautiful, sweet Ritsu was promised to someone else – some girl who Takano had never met. He could tell she was rich by the way she was dressed in a long designer trench coat and carried an entirely leather designer bag with her. Her hair had obviously been styled in the soft ringlets by a professional stylist. She was there to impress; she was there to take his Ritsu away from him.
He needed Ritsu to let go before he did something that would fuel the fire of pain and anger that was burning inside of him. He didn't want his Ritsu to get caught in the cross fire of outrage and self-inflicted agony that he was feeling. He wanted Ritsu to be happy and safe in his apartment, his stomach full from dinner and soaking in a hot bath after a long days work. Granted, Masamune would definetly not have minded cooking a meal for ritsu and then crawling itno the bath with him before carrying him off to bed.
But the harsh reality was that he couldn't. Not now. Not in the middle of this.
Seeing her had reopened ten-year-old scars that were now making him bleed out. This was the girl who stole his Ritsu from him. She had taken the boy who had stalked Saga Masamune for years in the library, reading all of the books that he had read; the blushing adorable mess of a lover that couldn't even hold hands without being shy. She had taken his Oda. She brought back this jaded biter man, whom he still loved, but had come to hate him.
Ritsu's hand tightened softly on Takano's sleeve for a mere moment before he softly let go. He was torn between wanting Takano to stay and knowing that it was probably best for him to leave. I don't want to dig myself any deeper into this, Ritsu told himself, Objectively speaking it's for the best. But those words were starting to mean nothing to him at this moment. He wanted Takano to understand. He wanted him to stay there with him; he didn't want him to run away to Yokozawa. He couldn't understand the feeling that was bubbling inside him. It was like a yearning need that nobody but Takano could fill. If you let him leave, he will leave you alone., His mind chimed in, but his heart screamed louder, Please don't leave me alone Saga. Please.
His arms were acting on their own as he grabbed onto Takano's arms from behind and he leaned his head on the form of Masamune's retreating back. Takano stopped in his tracks, still as a statue as Ritsu began to speak.
"That girl confessed her feelings to me a long time ago," His voice was filled with more emotion than he had expected, "but I rejected her." He wanted Takano to understand what he was saying. If Masamune would understand why maybe he would stay.
There was a soft pause before Masamune's deeper voice echoed in Ritsu's ears, "Why?"
Ritsu leant his cheek on the flat side of Takano's back. He was giving him a chance to explain. With a soft wheezy breath to calm himself, Ritsu said, "I told her that I was in love with someone else." His hands tightened on Masamune's sleeves. He had been in love – deeply in love with someone else and his heart was solely his. In a way, it had stayed that way for the past ten years.
Emotion was flowing through Ritsu's voice again and Masamune felt his eyes widen softly. He sounded more like the Oda he use to know. This was a peak at the real Ritsu being guarded by the fortress he had built to protect himself, "That's why…"
"Why what?" Takano was hoping he would hear those three words that he had been waiting to hear for the past ten years. He wanted to hear them from his Ritsu's mouth in soft clarity while sober and not in the middle of fucking around in bed.
"I'm a-asking you to please not go to Yokozawa's." Masamune wanted to cry at the sound of his lover so worked up; so upset. He had always hated when Ritsu was this upset. His beautiful Ritsu always looked better with a smile on his face and his cheeks softened by his blushing. It was almost as if he could hear the tears welling in Ritsu's eyes just by the sound of his voice. Walk away, He told himself, Go see Sorta and have a drink. You'll think straighter without him here.
There was a pregnant pause as Masamune's mind raced, his brain screaming at him to leave; to be logical for once. But the ringing of the pain in Ritsu's voice and the soft pressure as he leant against Takano's back made him shut that voice up rather quickly. He turned around and pulled Ritsu away from his back and pushed him up against the door. True to his predictions, Ritsu's face was flushed with emotions and tears welling in those gorgeous green orbs – the same green orbs that had haunted his dreams for the past ten years. God, Masamune told himself, It's my Ritsu. My Ritsu before she took him from me.
He wanted to kiss Ritsu so badly. He wanted to feel his warmth in his arms. He didn't care if there were no sexual acts to follow, he just wanted to feel his Oda. The flustery love of his life that he had been kept from for ten years. He leant down slowly, stooping to accommodate the height difference between him and his uke. He needed to feel Ritsu's thin lips against his own. He needed to know that this was really happening, this wasn't a dream that his sick unconscious had formulated like it had in the past.
Ritsu watched Takano's face in soft wonderment as their faces got closer and closer together. His eyes met the sharp golden brown ones that he had remembered loving since the first time he had seen Saga Masamune. He could feel the soft brush of Takano's hair against his own and feel the soft air flowing from Takano's mouth as he breathed. He was already lost in the soft heat that they were sharing by being close. It was enthralling and was all encompassing.
Their lips connected in a gentle kiss. This was unlike the ones they had shared together recently and it felt more amazing than those they had shared in the past. There was no hunger in this kiss, no sexual endeavor or sexual frustration trying to be reined in. There wasn't even a hint of resistance from either side.
This kiss was pure and innocent, filled with longing and love.
It was the first true kiss two lovers had shared in ten years.
Masamune reached for Ritsu's hand and grasped it in his own. This was real – entirely real and he wanted to feel more of Ritsu on him. He clasped his hand in Ritsu's own and gave it a gentle squeeze, feeling happy when that gentle squeeze was returned. He smiled as he pulled away from Ritsu's lips for only a moment and then returned to them once more. He would happily lose himself in Ritsu's lips for the rest of his life; they were warm, soft and real. All the things that Masamune had been deprived of in the past thirteen years.
Ritsu's mind was spinning as he squeezed Takano's hand once more. He didn't know what this feeling inside him was, but he hadn't felt this since the day almost eleven years ago when Saga Masamune had pulled him into his bedroom and had started nosing at his hair. It had been those soft touches that had calmed teenage Ritsu enough to allow Saga to do more than just caress his naked body.
Ritsu softly pulled his hand away from Masamune's and pulled away from the kiss to look up at him as he wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. He knew that this was almost too good to be true. He was waiting for the other foot to drop; for Takano to smirk at him in his very Takano-ish way and then leave him there.
"Don't go. Please." He whispered as he played with the soft strands of hair at the base of his boss' neck. Tears were threating to spill from his eyes, "Please, Takano."
Takano smiled at him softly and kissed each of his eyelids. Here it was. This was the moment when Takano would laugh at him and leave him. However, to his surprise, Takano pulled him closer and laid his head on top of his unruly brown locks.
"I'm not going anywhere until 11 a.m. tomorrow when we have to go to work." He mumbled softly as he nosed at Ritsu's hair. He heard Ritsu's softly gasp of surprise and felt Ritsu's arms tighten around him. He could easily get used to the feeling of Ritsu being clingy to him once more. He missed the days when his Oda would stay close to his side when they were out an about, not really touching him, but staying close by his side. Granted, he would have preferred if Ritsu would've let them hold hands back then, but just being was fine for him at the time. Now, however, Masamune, would be sure to just press on and slip his hand into Ritsu's every chance he got.
Ritsu clung to his lover and blushed deeply but stayed wrapped in Takano's arms. Tears were starting to roll down his cheeks in soft rivers. His Saga had listened and he had understood what he was trying to say. Masamune wasn't going to leave him tonight – he wouldn't be running off to Yokozawa. Ritsu sighed contentedly and shut his eyes are tears continued to roll down his cheeks.
"What's wrong, Onodera?" Masamune's soft tone was muffled slightly by Ritsu's hair as he spoke.
With a sniffle, Ritsu shook his head, "Nothing."
Masamune purred softly and smiled down at his oblivious lover before guiding them further into his apartment. He didn't want to push when Ritsu was finally letting him in, even if it was just for the moment. He wouldn't mind cooking dinner for both of them and then possibly drawing them a bath, before curling up in bed with Ritsu. That definitely did sound lovely to the seme.
Shifting Ritsu into leaning into his side, Takano guided them into the kitchen a shoulder lazing across Ritsu's shoulders.
"How does Tofu Miso Soup sound for dinner?" Takano mumbled softly as laid his cheek against Ritsu's hair, "Or I could reheat some leftover seared mackerel from last night if you want some fish." Ritsu buried his head deeper into Takano's side and shook his head.
"If you'd like I could run down to the convenience store just around the corner and pick up some sushi," Masamune suggested.
"I-I'm not really hungry," Ritsu mumbled from where his face was hidden in Masamune's jacket.
Masamune gave a soft frown but started guiding them both towards the bedroom. Maybe a bath would help Ritsu relax a little and get him to let Masamune in more, "Maybe latter then. How about a bath then? If you want, I even have some booze if you'd like a drink." He was almost hoping Ritsu would say no to alcohol, honestly. He would rather enjoy tonight with shy and sober Ritsu than the loud mouth hammered Ritsu. But, if a drink got his lover to unwind a bit, Masamune would take any Ritsu over no Ritsu any day.
As if the heavens had heard him, Ritsu shook his head, "Don't want to have sex right now."
Masamune looked down at his lovers and brushed his fingers lightly through Ritsu's hair, "No love making tonight, my love. Do you just want to lay down for a bit?"
Ritsu nodded softly, "But, I don't want you to go to Yokozawa's."
Masamune pulled his anxious boy closer to him, "No need to jump to conclusions. I'll stay right there with you. I promised you I wouldn't go anywhere until tomorrow morning, didn't I?"
Ritsu nodded and let out a soft sigh. Takano had promised him that, but his mind was still toying with him. You should leave! You should leave him! He's using you! his mind would tell him, but he just couldn't let go of Takano's waist. He needed him. It was like a primal instinct that he couldn't ignore. He stayed locked to Masamune's side as he was guided through the apartment and into Takano's room.
This was the first time he had been in here that he was stone cold sober and Ritsu could see the little hints that Takano had left impressed in the room. The cream walls were bare and the soft sandy carpet was the same carpet in Ritsu's apartment, but the sheets and bedspread were a soft spring green and a picture of Sorta sat in a frame on the night stand. Everything was pristine in Takano's very own way. But in the corner sat three huge bookshelves overflowing with books of all different genres. At first glance, he could pick out some that he too had read, some of which he liked, while others he didn't. He noticed some of the manga that Ritsu himself had edited a few months back. Oh, how Ritsu would love to get his hands on some of the hidden treasures of undiscovered literature Takano had hidden in his room.
The window above Takano's bed had the curtains drawn back and the window cracked slightly. Ritsu guessed that he was more or less awoken by sunlight shinning down on him and was lulled to sleep by the soft glow of moonlight and the sounds of the traffic. That seemed just like something Ritsu could picture his Saga loving.
Masamune pushed sat them both down on the foot of the bed, rubbing a soothing caress along Ritsu's shoulder as he leaned his head against Ritsu's for a moment, before pulling away from his lover.
Ritsu looked up at him with sad green eyes, but Masamune reassured him with a soft touch to the head, "I'm just going to get comfortable. You should too. You'll be warm through the night if you keep your jacket on. I have some sweat pants if you want to change out of your jeans." Ritsu looked up at him and nodded softly.
"Please." Masamune smiled and went over to the chest of drawers sitting along the wall beside the bedroom door, sliding his arms from his jacket as he did so, tossing it to sit onto of the dresser. He toed out of his socks as he reached down and grabbed two pairs of sweat pants from the bottom drawer, tossing a pair to a silent Ritsu with a look of adoration. Ritsu's cheeks hadn't lost the soft red tint of his blush and his green eyes were still slightly puffy from his anxious crying. Still, Onodera Ritsu, Takano had to admit, was as beautiful and radiant as ever.
Ritsu caught the pair of sweat pants in his arms and set them to the side, before pulling his arms from the sleeves of his jacket slowly. He didn't like Takano not being right next to him in this moment. He wanted to feel Takano's warmth and feel his gentle touches and be surrounded by the one thing he had deprived himself of for the past decade. Rationality be damned. He set his coat on his other side on the bed and drifted a hand down to his belt, his cheeks going redder. As if sensing the problem, Masamune came over and pecked Ritsu on the forehead, before mumbling something about checking that the front door was locked before exiting the room. Ritsu blushed deeper, but stood and quickly changed into the sweatpants that Takano had allowed him to borrow before crawling up the bed and curling up.
Masamune came back into the room only a couple minutes later and smiled at the sight of his lover curled up in a ball on his side of the bed. His clothes were huge on Ritsu – his feet were tangled in the long length of the pants and the waist being a little too large around – but it was adorable none the less. Ritsu looked stunning in Takano's clothes and he wouldn't mind seeing his lover donned in even more items of his clothing if it meant that he got to look so adorable. Plus, it showed that Ritsu was his and only his. His cute lover didn't belong to that girl that stole him from Masamune ten years ago.
With a content sigh, Takano crawled onto the bed and hovered himself over his lover. Ritsu turned slightly to look up at him with those perfect green eyes and he leant closer, "Better?" Ritsu nodded and rolled onto his back, wrapping his arms around Takano, "Good. I want you to be able to relax some, focus on us right now."
Ritsu nodded softly and pulled Masamune closer, wanting to feel the warmth and safety of his arms around him. With a hum of content, Takano wrapped his arms around Ritsu, even though the position was a little awkward, and curled his fingers in Ritsu's soft downy hair. It was comfortable and warm, a way to relax and unwind after the squabble they had had only half an hour ago.
"You know," Masamune whispered softly in Ritsu's ear as they snuggled together, "I don't know what you've been doing these past ten years. So tell me everything." He knew that asking Ritsu about this would possibly bring up some stress, but he was dying to know. He wanted to know everything about the ten years that his Ritsu had been taken away from him. He wanted to be able to tell Ritsu about his own crazy adventures through college. He wanted to hear if Ritsu had really fallen in love with someone else, even though he knew it would be the death of him.
Ritsu clung tighter to his lover, but Takano pulled away just enough to look into those grass green eyes and continued, "I don't want anything to be hidden between us. I want to know everything about you." Ritsu's face was in a set state of nervousness, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. He looked up into the swirling golden brown eyes that had captured his heart thirteen years ago, the same ones that he had tried to forget over the past decade, but now they were set on him and only him.
Ritsu bit his lip softly as he thought, Usually, he just abuses everyone. Normally he's so sarcastic. But now, he's holding me as if I were something precious. His mind was creeping in on him again, putting those doubts once more in his was a side of Masamune that he hadn't seen in a long, long time. There wasn't malice or bite in those amber eyes, not a trace of sarcasm, but they were simply filled with curiosity and timid adoration. I won't tell him, he told himself, I won't tell him that in my whole life, nobody's ever made my heart race like this. His throat was closing once more with emotion as more tears spilled from his eyes.
Masamune brought a hand up and softly brushed the streams of tears away, "Ritsu. It's okay."
Ritsu swallowed hard and nodded as he tried to push his doubts onto a back burner in his brain, "I-I went to Europe. I finished high school at a really prominent school," He hiccupped once, "The other students weren't very nice and I didn't really like it there, but my father insisted that I attend that particular school since I studied abroad." His eyes went hazy as he started to recall his time in the heart of Windsor, England. It was in the top ten European boarding schools, according to his research before attending, some of its prominent alumni including both Prince William and Prince Harry of the British royal family. He remembered pulling up in front of the school gates, it's gleaming lawns and perfect marble buildings looking very intimidating to him, instead of comforting. The rooms had been rather nice and large, each with a shower and two walk in closets for both residents of the room. His roommate had been a Brit himself and was alright. And while the school itself hadn't turned out half bad, he remembered those months of lying in bed at night, wishing more than ever that Saga-senpai was there to hold him till he fell asleep. He would sob himself to the point of exhaustion over the fact that Saga hadn't returned his love. He remembered the hundreds of letters he wrote to his senpai but slid into the shred pile in the reception office instead of into the out-going post.
Ritsu closed his eyes and tried to push those memories back at bay. He didn't want to relieve those months of depression that he had suffered after the loss of his lover.
He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed to block out the hazel eyes of his lover that would surely kick start even more painful memories of the past, "When I graduated, I went to a public university in London. I double majored in English Studies and in Japanese Literature." He didn't really want to talk about this. He just wanted Masamune to hold him in his arms and wrap him up in the warmth of his touches, even though his brain was screaming at him to stop. He didn't need to talk, he just needed the strength that Takano oozed to hold him together; to stop the on setting anxiety.
Masamune hummed and stroked his thumb softly against Ritsu's scalp. Ritsu knew that Takano was trying to calm him, to keep him from being worried, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to feel surrounded by his lover in a more intimate way than sex or words ever could. He wanted to be enveloped in Takano's clean scent and feel the warmth of his embrace warm him from the inside out.
"Is it beautiful?" Takano's rumble was so soft Ritsu wouldn't have heard it, if it weren't for Takano laying on top of him, "Europe, I mean."
Ritsu swallowed and sighed, "I suppose. The streets of London are just as busy as those in Tokyo. The grass is green and the London showers are beautiful." London was beautiful, but it wasn't where he had wanted to be. He had longed to come home to Japan, to return to his previous school, to beg Saga to take him back, "They don't have any cherry blossoms though."
Masamune felt a soft smile grace his lips when he heard the slight pout in Ritsu's voice at the mention of cherry blossoms. Years ago, he had watched Ritsu stare out the window in silent awe as the petals fell from the cherry blossom trees in the spring. He had looked so adorable with his big green eyes wide, almost like he was trying to take as much of it in as possible. He had learned that Ritsu loved the spring, even if he never explicitly said it.
He too had come to love the spring. The soft grass had been a constant reminder of his Ritsu's eyes.
"That's a shame." He couldn't help but smile to himself, "They're missing out."
Ritsu's watery chuckle was like music to Takano's ears, "Yeah. They are." He softly nosed Ritsu's hair and rolled off of Ritsu to pull him closer to his chest. He wanted his lover to be as comfortable as possible. He could tell that talking about his time in Europe was a touchy subject, so he decided to stay away from that topic of discussion. Ritsu seemed to find even more comfort in his chest as he buried his face into the soft material of his t-shirt.
He pulled his lover closer and took in the sweet smell of Ritsu. He needed to have some sense of comfort as he started rambling, "I was so depressed when you left Ritsu. I shut myself in my room for the rest of senior year. I kept Sorta with me and I barely graduated and I passed my entrance exams. My mother decided that she would ship me off to her alma mater to study. She told me, "Maybe the distance away from her and her new husband would do me good"." He know understood what Ritsu was feeling. He didn't really want to talk about his years in college so much now either, "I stumbled through my first semester. I drank a lot. Smoked a lot."
Ritsu hiccupped, "You still smoke a lot."
Takano felt a half smile grace his lips, "Yeah. I suppose I do. I tried to forget about you and move on, but I never could. No matter who I slept with, they all looked like you, but they weren't you. I knew that you were the only one I would ever truly love during those months. Yokozawa tried to get me to move on, but instead, I focused on you. I focused on becoming perfect enough for you.
"I threw myself into my schooling, graduated at the top of my class and found a job within a few months as an editor for a small town local paper a few hours from here. I climbed the ladder and when I had enough experience, I jumped at the chance to apply to Onodera Publishing. I had hoped that I would see you, but they decided to hire someone else for the editor. Maruwaka was hiring and they saw something in me, I suppose. Next thing I knew, I had been put in charge of one of the shittiest magazines in the city. I wanted to quit, but then I found I enjoyed working there. It was a bonus when this beautiful brown haired man with these big green eyes came into the office one day. I'm almost living my dream."
Ritsu was silent, but that was alright. He wanted to let it out to Ritsu, he wanted him to know what had happened since then even if it wasn't the most pleasant thing to relive. He pulled his love closer and felt himself ease slightly as Ritsu's hand grasped softly onto the soft cotton of his shirt. He had remembered teenage Oda doing the same thing ten years ago as they laid on his bed, wrapped in each-others' arms. They hadn't planned on having sex that night, but it didn't matter because the spontaneous-ness of their first time had made it even more perfect.
"Why almost?" Ritsu whispered.
"Because I don't have you." Takano squeezes his lover tightly in his arms and sighed softly into the soft tendrils of brown hair that tickled his nose, "I love you, Ritsu."
They laid together wrapped up in each-others' arms as the sounds of the street outside their apartment build quieted even more as traffic died down. The silence wasn't awkward or tense for once, but it was soft and comforting. They didn't need any more words shared as they huddled in each other's arms, not wanting to let go of each other until the sun rose high in the sky.
(A/N: I've been working on this piece for about three weeks now and I am so excited to finally post it. So, this is my first published fic of Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi, so I hope you all enjoy this. I may post more stuff in this fandom in the next few weeks/months, but I'm not really sure yet. I really enjoyed writing this though, so the odds are looking up right now. What did you all think? Don't forget to R&R, lovelies. –S.A.M.)