Rating: G
Disclaimer: Star Wars © George Lucas. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: He can't forget about her.
Notes: This has big SPOILERS for episode III.
He's having that same dream again: the one that makes him feel suffocated in a field of yellow poppies, and the sky so blue it hurts to look at it directly.
It makes him feel as though he's defiling the beauty of the meadow, standing in the center, all decked out in a black, metallic armor.
He shouldn't be here; he senses it, but he can never stop returning to it night after night.
He's searching. Searching for her. But he never finds her; she is as elusive as the dream after he wakes up. And he never thinks about her when awake. He can't.
Maybe joining the Dark Side was all for naught. But, somewhere, between having a desperate fear of losing her, and his rise to power, the real reason why he was sacrificing himself got pushed out from his view.
It didn't matter now; none of it mattered now for he was in too deep. He didn't know the way home. No, that wasn't true. He knew the way home- just there wasn't a home to return to anymore.
She died. Because of him. It always makes him laugh- a humorless, wallowing laugh- that she died because of his efforts to try to save her from that certain fate. It almost makes him appreciate the irony- almost.
He didn't know. He couldn't have predicated the way things would have worked out. Love really made him blind, and she was the one forced to suffer.
He remembers, around the blurred edges of his mind, swearing that he'd protect her as long as he lived. It's now meaningless, and a trivial fact that thrums through his mind at night, all alone.
He should have known he was the one who she needed protection from. It's the ones you love the most that you hurt the most; he grabbed her heart, and squeezed the life out of it as if it were merely squash.
He will always find a heavy burden on his chest from then on; the prick was inserted and would never fall out again, his heart was all ready bleeding and would bleed until he joined his wife in death.