AN: Trying to dedicate more time to writting and so I thought I'd write a one shot about two of my favorite characters on one of my favorite shows. Enjoy! Please leave a review if you like it and would like to read more from me.
Before Alabasta Nami would have said her favorite color was gold. Glittering metallic gold sparkling in the sunlight was the most beautiful sight in the entire world. Now her mind is occupied by blue. The color of clean ocean water on the horizon, preening peacock feathers, and the hair of a princess. Therein lied the source of it all. Vivi Nefetari with her bright smile, determination, and beautiful blue hair. All of which Nami would most likely never see again.
She's leaning on the railing staring out at the see in the direction they just came from on deck. They're over a day out of their trip from Alabasta, and the strange pang in her chest still hasn't left. The rest of the crew is trudging to their quarters for the night and here she is alone with only the stars for company. She finds herself staring at the fading X on her arm several times a day, and carefully washing around it when it comes time to bathe. It's pathetic and weak, and a part of her hates herself for it.
A much louder part Luffy has been encouraging her to listen to more tells that part to shut up, and that there's still a whole grandline to explore ahead. She takes in a deep breath of fresh ocean air. The sea has always calmed her, and felt like a second home. Even if the color is painful to look at now.
"Ah Nami-Swan," a sing song voice rings out behind her. Nami instantly opens her eyes and resists a groan. She's not in the mood to play this game right now. She doesn't turn around. Not surprisingly the cook fails to get the hint. "What are you doing out here in the cold night by yourself? You should get inside and rest you're beautiful head."
His footsteps echo on the empty deck as he walks up beside her. At least he's not shouting and twirling around right now. She might have had to throw him overboard and then wake someone up to go get him. She prefers to avoid that headache right now.
"I'm not tired," She says flat and mono toned. "Perhaps you should go on to bed if you feel it's that late Sanji-kun."
"Ah but then I would miss the chance to enjoy your exquisite company," He replies sounding wistful but calm. She smells smoke and glances over to see a freshly lit cigarette between his lips.
It's better than the smell of dishwater at least. They stand next to each other in silence for awhile. The waves crashing gently against the ship and filling the quiet air. Nami letting herself be drawn into the atmosphere again. It'll be two days out by morning. Two days between Alabasta and them, and everyone in Alabasta.
"Are you alright Nami-swan?" Sanji asks. He sounds so sincere, looks it to. Standing there disheveled with his sleeves rolled up smelling like nicotine and left overs. There's no front or poof to him like normally. She kind of prefers him this way.
"Sanji-kun," Nami sighs. "Can we have an honest conversation? I don't feel like playing any games tonight, or humoring you."
Sanji's eyes go wide. His stupid blue eyes. He composes himself and takes a long drag on his cigarette and turns his head straight away to escape her gaze. "If that's what you want, sure. What's on your mind?"
"I made a mistake," Nami says. "And I think I may regret it for the rest of my life."
"Ah, that sounds quite serious," Sanji responds. His voice is gentle but not as pandering as normal. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Does she? Her relationship with the cook is complex. They a draw a fine line with their allowances of each other, and she's not even sure what to see him as half the time. Something so personal feels strange to talk about with him. But who else is here right now?
"I think I loved her."
She spits it out before she can stop herself.
"Vivi-chan?" Sanji asks, she hears the way he involuntarily perks up at her name. Again a more bitter part of herself gets angry before she stomps it down. "We all did Nami-swan. It's okay to miss her."
"No." She says firmly. "I loved her." No thinking, no might have.
"Oh," Sanji says. He pauses before it seems to hit him and he jumps. "OH." He fidgets in place and she turns her head to glower at him. "I um, wasn't...I didn't know you...I'm sorry?"
It's awkward and dorky, especially when he adds running his fingers through that shaggy hair. It's probably the most honest picture she's gotten of him since he joined the crew. All she had to do was crush his dreams of getting with her by confessing her love for another woman.
At least she's laughing now. "Disappointed Sanji-kun?"
"What?! N-No!" He quickly says waving his arms wildly. "It doesn't bother me Nami-swan. If you...enjoy other women then there's nothing wrong with that. Congratulations?"
"You suck at this." She snorts while she says it. "I appreciate it though." She shakes her head and spares the blond any more awkwardness. "You know the worst part? It's not leaving and never seeing her again" Her voice gets more serious than she planned and her hands are shaking a bit.
She's laughing again, but this time her eyes burn and her vision is looking a bit blurry. "The worst part is I never had the guts to tell her how I felt." The tears are falling now and she's still freaking laughing. "I was afraid of getting hurt. That she wouldn't feel the same way, or it would hurt to much when we went separate ways but…"
The laughs become sobs she's been holding in since she turned around and rolled her sleeve down while the ship was leaving. Lean arms wind around her and she can't bring herself to throw them off. He pushed her face into a lanky chest covered by a smelly button up and cries her heart out.
"I'll never know." She whimpers. "What we could have…" a hiccup interrupts her. "I'll always wonder what we could have had. Even for just a little while. We could have made each other happy." She can't talk anymore and is stuck crying. His fingers comb through her hair gentle as he shushes her.
She'll kill him if he ever mentions this again.
They stay like that for long enough for her to lose track of how much time has passed. The night breeze is starting to kick in and she can feel his goosebumps scraping on her own. She slowly moves away and his arms drop from around her.
"...Thanks."
"It was my pleasure Nami-swan." She looks at his face. His eyes are avoiding hers, and his face seems fallen. His shoulders slump and he furrows his brows towards his own feet. What's wrong with him? He doesn't pity her that much does he?
"I think I'll follow your advice now Sanji-kun," She goes past him towards the girl's cabin.
"Nami-swan?"
She hums in response and half turns at him calling her.
"Does it really hurt that much? Never knowing…" He cuts himself off. "N-Nevermind! Goodnight Nami-swan~" he waves dramatically at her.
She rolls her eyes and goes to her cabin. She's not in any mood to deal with him regressing right now and doesn't force herself to deal with it. She goes to her hammock and falls asleep near instantly. She's thankful not to dream of sandy shores and blue hair tonight.
The next morning she washes up and makes sure to scrub her wrist especially clean. She finds genuinely herself smiling for the first time since leaving Alabasta when she walks into the kitchen. Zoro is awake earlier than she's ever known him to be without an emergency or being forced. He's tucked away in the corner with an onigiri in his hand. Sanji is at the counter on the other side a relaxed smile on his face, and all the tension normally there while he prepares breakfast absent.
There really is a whole world ahead of them.