Dear Diary:
I don't know how to feel anymore. He's always made me happy. Even when we weren't together he put a smile on my face. I miss Finn so much that it disgusts me. I missed him long before he had… passed away though. I miss his smile. i miss his voice. I miss his love. I miss everything he was. Now, that's been taken from me. I just got the role of Fanny, but that isn't enough. I was so happy when I got the news, but the first person I wanted to tell was Finn. That's not even possible now and that breaks my heart. Do you know how heartbreaking that is? Wanting to tell the love of your life, your best friend such important news just to remember they're not there and they never will be again? I know we all have to deal with loss, but why me? Why now? He had his flaws, but he was still perfect to me. I don't know how to go on anymore. I force a smile. I hang out with Santana, Kurt, and Dani. I act like it's getting better, but it just eats me up inside. I don't know how to live without Finn. I don't know how to love without him. I have no choice. I'm trying to move on, but I just want my Finn back. I want to disappear and never look back. I want to do whatever it takes to see his face again and hear his laugh, but it's impossible. How will I ever get over this?