It was a dark night and the sound of traffic could be heard only miles away from where Brad was standing. He was lucky to have found somewhere remote to spend his time away from Schwarz....especially away from Schuldich's incessant teasing. A few days ago he had requested a leave of absence from Reiji Takatori, who actually granted it. Brad sat in the light of a dim street lamp next to a playground that had not been filled with children as long as he had been there. He had been staying in a motel nearby, avoiding his home so nobody from Schwarz could reach him. He blocked his thoughts from Schuldich and Nagi constantly. It was a mid-August night and a warm breeze brushed his hair into his eyes, but he didn't mind. He walked over to a nearby swing and sat down with a creek on the hard plastic. He was no longer in the light of the street lamp, in complete and total darkness in every aspect of the moment. Perfect.
"My, my, Bradlee....we thought you had run away..."
Brad looked up, hoping not to see who he thought he would. Schuldich stood before Brad and lit up a cigarette. The dim orange glow showed a smirk on his face just before blowing out. All Brad could see was a bit of light shining into green eyes.
"Why are you here?"
"You know you wanted to see me."
Brad glared right into the green eyes above him, it was pitch black but he knew the German could see his face perfectly. He didn't want to hear that last comment...he never really wanted to hear the truth.... He really loved Schuldich deep down....but he wanted to forget about him, knowing he would never love Brad back.
"I was here to avoid you."
He could smell the smoke from the cigarette blowing into the air around him. He could smell it on Schuldich's breath as he felt the German put his face near his own, dropping to his knees before Brad, who was leaning forward resting on his knees. The glow from the cigarette died as Schuldich rubbed it in the sand. Suddenly everything was completely dark and there was no more than an inch between both of their faces.
"Bradlee.....did you really leave because of me...?"
That sounded sad. Wait...he couldn't be sad....could he?? Brad didn't know what to say, was he being toyed with?
"Wh...what?"
"Did you....did you really leave Schwarz and disappear because of me?"
Brad didn't say anything, he just stared forward into the space that was Schuldich...he wished he could see the German's face, he was afraid.. Schuldich had never shown much emotion before...and it was a little bit odd to start now. Brad reached his hand forward and felt the German's face....definetely an unhappy face....his cheeks were heating up...he couldn't be.....!!
"Brad answer me...!"
And with that his voice cracked....it broke down into a sob but he tried his best to hide it. Brad reached forward again, wiping a tear from the other man's eye. He brushed his hair from his eyes and left his hand on Schulduch's shoulder.
"Why..are....-gulp- why are you crying...?"
Schuldich's eyes widened, Brad could tell that wasn't the best thing to ask. They couldn't see each other but the emotions and the movements of their faces were clear as day to them.
"You honestly don't know...." He took a deep breath. "How could you not have...then again....." Silence fell over them both for a few seconds as Schuldich gathered what he could from his scrambled emotions. And all in one breath.... "Brad...I love you and always have. The thought that you left because of me tears me to shreds."
Brad was shocked. He sat up straight and could feel the German staring up at him from his knees. Brad had no control over the next few moments. His arms reached out and pulled the German against his chest, holding him close. Schuldich wrapped his arms around Brad and sobbed into his chest.
"I'm sorry Brad...."
"What for...?" He ran a hand through the long orange hair.
"Coming all this way and bothering you....I know you probably don't feel the same way..."
Brad stopped his hand and put both of his hands on Schuldich's cheeks. He leaned his head down and pulled Schuldich into a deep kiss, wiping a tear away with his thumb. The sun rose as they broke the kiss and could finally see each other's faces.
"You're a mess."
Schuldich just smiled and pulled Brad off the swing and the two of them fell to the ground...laying there together.... fuck civilization.....fuck what people would think......this is what we are and this is us. We're happy......for once......
"My, my, Bradlee....we thought you had run away..."
Brad looked up, hoping not to see who he thought he would. Schuldich stood before Brad and lit up a cigarette. The dim orange glow showed a smirk on his face just before blowing out. All Brad could see was a bit of light shining into green eyes.
"Why are you here?"
"You know you wanted to see me."
Brad glared right into the green eyes above him, it was pitch black but he knew the German could see his face perfectly. He didn't want to hear that last comment...he never really wanted to hear the truth.... He really loved Schuldich deep down....but he wanted to forget about him, knowing he would never love Brad back.
"I was here to avoid you."
He could smell the smoke from the cigarette blowing into the air around him. He could smell it on Schuldich's breath as he felt the German put his face near his own, dropping to his knees before Brad, who was leaning forward resting on his knees. The glow from the cigarette died as Schuldich rubbed it in the sand. Suddenly everything was completely dark and there was no more than an inch between both of their faces.
"Bradlee.....did you really leave because of me...?"
That sounded sad. Wait...he couldn't be sad....could he?? Brad didn't know what to say, was he being toyed with?
"Wh...what?"
"Did you....did you really leave Schwarz and disappear because of me?"
Brad didn't say anything, he just stared forward into the space that was Schuldich...he wished he could see the German's face, he was afraid.. Schuldich had never shown much emotion before...and it was a little bit odd to start now. Brad reached his hand forward and felt the German's face....definetely an unhappy face....his cheeks were heating up...he couldn't be.....!!
"Brad answer me...!"
And with that his voice cracked....it broke down into a sob but he tried his best to hide it. Brad reached forward again, wiping a tear from the other man's eye. He brushed his hair from his eyes and left his hand on Schulduch's shoulder.
"Why..are....-gulp- why are you crying...?"
Schuldich's eyes widened, Brad could tell that wasn't the best thing to ask. They couldn't see each other but the emotions and the movements of their faces were clear as day to them.
"You honestly don't know...." He took a deep breath. "How could you not have...then again....." Silence fell over them both for a few seconds as Schuldich gathered what he could from his scrambled emotions. And all in one breath.... "Brad...I love you and always have. The thought that you left because of me tears me to shreds."
Brad was shocked. He sat up straight and could feel the German staring up at him from his knees. Brad had no control over the next few moments. His arms reached out and pulled the German against his chest, holding him close. Schuldich wrapped his arms around Brad and sobbed into his chest.
"I'm sorry Brad...."
"What for...?" He ran a hand through the long orange hair.
"Coming all this way and bothering you....I know you probably don't feel the same way..."
Brad stopped his hand and put both of his hands on Schuldich's cheeks. He leaned his head down and pulled Schuldich into a deep kiss, wiping a tear away with his thumb. The sun rose as they broke the kiss and could finally see each other's faces.
"You're a mess."
Schuldich just smiled and pulled Brad off the swing and the two of them fell to the ground...laying there together.... fuck civilization.....fuck what people would think......this is what we are and this is us. We're happy......for once......