Title: Never Gonna Be Alone
Tagline: "You're never gonna be alone, from this moment on, if you feel like letting go, I won't let you fall. When all hope is gone, I know you can carry on, we're going to see the world out, I'll hold you till the hurt is gone."
Summary: While Quinn Fabray's life may be crumbling down around her, she realizes that sometimes, the greatest reward is seeing who is still standing beside of you after the bombs explode.
Shipping: Quinn/Rachel
Spoilers: Sectionals?
Author's Note: This is what happens when you have a Nickelback song stuck in your head and you are watching Lea/Dianna talk about living together and they are both doing the cute flirty face. (;
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
It has been seven days since New Directions took the win at sectionals without Mr. Schue and the guidance of Ms. Pillsbury. Seven days since she watched her friends, including one Ms. Rachel Berry, shine brighter than she could have ever imagined. Seven days since the truth leaked about Puck being her baby daddy and the entire school could not believe that she dare keep such a secret. Seven days since Finn broke up with her and refused to talk to her. Quinn Fabray has been homeless for seven days now and her life has taken as completely different turn than she could have ever imagined.
Quinn, the once leader of the celibacy club and the captain of the Cheerios now finds herself without a home because of an unexpected pregnancy. An unexpected pregnancy that could have been fine if the baby was Finn's, but after a drunken night with her boyfriend's best friend, the baby turns out to be Puck's and keeping that secret has cost her a place to call 'home'. Since the break up with Finn, she has spent three nights with Brittany, two with Santana but a pregnant girl could only handle so much. Then she spent a night in her car, but Quinn realized two things in doing so:
A.)Sleeping in your car in the middle of winter means you have to leave the heat running. Heat costs gas which costs money that Quinn doesn't have since her current disowning from her parents and previous boyfriend.
B.) Back seats are meant for riding and sex only because sleeping on them creates the worst crook necks and horrid muscle spams. Two things that she definitely does not need right now.
So, she stands in front of the vaguely familiar house now, the white flakes of snow and brisk wind cutting through her brown coat. Winters in Lima are the worst and now was definitely no exception, given the single digit weather front that now hovers over their small town. Not a good time to be homeless, Quinn jokes with a weak smile. She can't believe that she is standing here of all places, but it is the only place that she does not feel exiled or judged anymore. It's the only place where she does not have to worry about side glances from the Cheerios, or worry about being hit in the face with a slushy, or ignore the whispers about what a terrible person she was for doing something like this to Finn. It is the only place now, where Quinn actually felt like she belonged.
She sighs, watching a puff of air escape her and dissolve into a mist in the bitter cold as another wave of chills dance up her spine. She contemplates knocking on the door, after all, coming here tonight, may be the biggest social disaster of her entire high school experience. Yet, she feels drawn here and suddenly, she doesn't really give a damn what every one else thought about her and the decisions that she makes. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she knocks on the wooden door, her heart racing in her chest as she awaits the friendly face that will greet her. Growing impatient, she knocks again, shifting her weight from one side to another, curious as to what this night will bring her. Suddenly a ray of light cascades cross her face and she forces a smile instead of the cry that desperately wants to escape her.
"Quinn? Quinn...what are you...." The familiar melody of a voice trails of in the silence. Rachel stands before her, her raven curls messily cascading down her shoulders, wearing a pink v-neck t-shirt and golden star patterned pajama bottoms. Quinn couldn't help but smirk a grin at the beautiful girl in front of her, the girl that had once been a complete stranger to her had now become the only girl that she could actually stand to be around. She chuckles quietly to herself, it was just like Rachel Berry to look like a winner, even at one o'clock in the morning.
"It's freezing out here. My...my parents kicked me out when they found out that I was pregnant. Finn....Finn won't even look at me. I'm out of money so I can't sleep in my car. Brittany and Santana are....a pregnant girl can only handle so much, I mean, it's blatantly obvious they are sexting each other and it's really awkward to be in the same room when that's happening. And it's just...it's really cold out," Quinn explains, her voice growing quiet as she watches the emotions and curiosity fill the russet brown eyes that stare deeply into her. She wonders when it happened, when Rachel Berry, the girl she tortured every single day, became the only good thing she has left in her life?
"I...I don't...I don't...uh..." Rachel stares into Quinn's blue eyes, searching desperately to find the young woman who confidently sung in Glee, the woman who became alive at the sound of music and danced so extravagantly and beautifully. She searches for the young woman who was so full of happiness, love and excitement, because the young woman in front of her is so lost and hurt and she can't help but think it is all her fault.
"I....I have no where to go. P-please, Rachel?" Quinn asks with a shiver, tears in her aqua blue orbs and another crack deepens within Rachel's heart, another crack that should have Property Of Quinn Fabray stapled across it. Her lips part as a gush of air escapes from her and she only nods her head.
"Yeah. O-of course. Come in," Rachel replies, stepping aside, opening the door for the lovely blond. Quinn only smiles in return as she steps into the warm, inviting house. She lets out a breath of relief as she glances around the warmly painted walls, the familiar scent of laughter and love dances in her nose as her heart races in her chest and her knees shake beneath her. Suddenly she feels Rachel's fingers intertwine around hers and the smaller girl flashes her a smile and for the first time, Quinn feels like she is home.
The two girls rest comfortably in the silence of Rachel's rather large upstairs bedroom, Rachel's tiny body curled up on the right side and Quinn's small, but very pregnant self spiraled onto the left. The brunette watches the blond carefully, her fingers laced together, trying to understand why she is here now. Why is Quinn Fabray fighting off sleep in her bed? Why, when she has plenty of friends that are not 'social outcasts' as she is so kindly labeled, she chose to come here? To come to her? She wrinkles her brow in confusion, her heart beating a quiet rhythm in her ears as a exasperated breath escapes her. Somewhere between being tormented by her every day, somewhere between trying to steal her boyfriend and listening to her sing in Glee, somewhere between telling Finn the truth about the baby and watching her cry, Rachel started to actually care for Quinn and her unborn baby. How in the hell was it possible that she allowed herself to get so distracted from her dreams by the once head Cheerio? When did this happen?
Quinn sighs beside of Rachel, staring up at the fan that circles shadows across the ceiling. She wonders when her life got so off course, when she lost everything that she worked so hard for. Was it her drunken moment with Puck? Was it when she refused to tell the truth to Finn about the baby? Was it when she joined Glee? Or was it when she realized all the different colors that melt together in Rachel's eyes. She gnaws on the inside of her jaw as she listens to Rachel breath beside of her, her eyes slowly closing but her mind can not stop thinking about what tomorrow will bring her and her baby.
"I'm sorry that I woke you," Quinn breaks the silence, turning her head toward Rachel, her blond hair curling around her oval face. Rachel giggles quietly with a smile, she nods her head in understanding, a warm smile pressed upon her lips and for a moment, Quinn feels like everything is going to be okay.
"The scientists say that most Americans get too much sleep and it effects the creative side of the brain and I have noticed that I'm not as quick to think of something as I once was. I thought it was just because I was distracted but maybe the scientists are on to something," Rachel explains, in her infamous rant and Quinn only rolls her eyes with a laugh, a laugh that sounds strange even to her own ears now, "it's okay. Really." Quinn lets out a quiet sigh, staring at the ceiling yet again before she allows her thoughts to be spoken aloud.
"You know, months ago, if someone had told me that you would be my friend, that I would be staying at your house because...." Quinn stops herself with a laugh before she falls silent again. Her life is so different now than it once had been, her dreams were completely different now. She dreamed of getting out of Lima, of being something greater than the head of the Cheerio's, but now she has to worry about her little girl, now she has to do what is best for her and if settling for Lima is what is best for her, than so be it. God, how she wishes that she was young again, because even though she may have been selfish and rude, she at least had her innocence and freedom.
"My parents threw me out. Th-they didn't even want to listen to me. My sister married a great man and she has a great life outside of Lima. My father...he stood in front of me and told me that h-he didn't recognize who I was anymore, h-he told me that I was a disappointment and to get out of his house. F-Finn is so disgusted with me, h-he can't even look at me, he told me that he hoped that things worked out for me but I...I couldn't stay at his house anymore," Quinn cries and Rachel feels her stomach twist in a tight knot, she hates to see her cry. Her dads told her once that pretty girls shouldn't cry and Quinn was certainly no exception to that rule.
"I'm sorry that I told Finn. I...I was selfish when I told him. I was just...I was trying to get something that clearly, I couldn't have and I just...I didn't think about the baby and I didn't...I'm sorry," Rachel apologizes with a sigh but Quinn smiles at her, shaking her head with a weak laugh.
"No. Don't apologize. You did the right thing. The thing that I was never able to do, which was tell the truth. He...he had a right to know that the baby wasn't his...he should have known about Puck but I just...I couldn't tell him, you know? I didn't...I didn't want to lose him, especially after the fact that he stood up to my parents and told them about the baby. I didn't want to hurt him but it didn't matter. I hurt him anyway," Quinn exclaims, a bitter laugh escaping from her. Rachel curses herself quietly in her head, she never wanted any of this to be the outcome of her actions. She never wanted to hurt Finn with the truth, she never wanted to hurt Quinn or leave her homeless. She simply wanted to win the attention of Finn, to prove to him that he should be with her, but now, she is slowly beginning to realize that maybe it was not Finn she had so desperately been trying to win all this time. Maybe her heart had known all along but her mind refused to believe it.
"Quinn..." Her voice trails off and Quinn turns to face her, her beautiful blue eyes full of tears.
"I'm alone," Quinn sighs with a sniffle and Rachel draws her brow together in confusion as her heart drops to the pit of her stomach to see her so hurt, so broken. "My parents disowned me, Finn broke up with me, Sue hates me. Puck..he wants to help with the baby but I just...I can't with him. I don't...I don't want to be with him. I just...I'm alone. Funny how that works out, isn't it, Treasure Trail? You get everything your popularity and your boy and I lose everything. Karma's a bitch, huh?" Quinn sniffles and Rachel shakes her head, scooting closer toward the blond now.
"You're not alone," Rachel demands, her jaw locking tightly and Quinn laughs weakly.
"What are you talking about? Of course I'm alone. The Cheerios are all terrified of Sue Sylvester so they aren't going to talk to me. Brittany and Santana are too busy screwing each other. My parents hate me. Finn is disgusted by me. I have no-one and maybe I deserve to be alone because I've hurt so many people. Including you," Quinn cries, turning her head away and Rachel sighs, glancing around her room, at all of the trophies and awards that adorn her walls and suddenly, she realizes that they mean nothing, at least not as much as the girl in the bed, crying beside of her.
"You have Glee. You have Mercedes, Kurt, Brittany, Santana, Artie, Puck, Mr. Schue, they all care about you. Ms. Pillsbury is always going to be there for you if you need her. There is eleven people in Glee who care about you, Quinn, including Finn. They may not all be head Cheerios or the star of the football team and you may get a slushy in your face every day, but they care enough about you to help you clean yourself off and start over again. You have them," Rachel explains, placing her thumb under Quinn's chin, pulling her face toward hers, "and you have me."
"Rachel, you should hate me. I was terrible to you," Quinn replies and Rachel shrugs her shoulders.
"Yeah, maybe I should. But I don't. I don't believe in revenge or karma or any of that supernatural stuff they try to sell us on late night television. I believe in destiny and I believe that you are destined for something more than just a teenage mother in Lima. You have Glee, you have me and you and your daughter are never going to be alone," Rachel demands, her voice taking a sudden serious tone, a tone that is only heard in Glee when Mr. Schue tries to give the solo to someone she deems undeserving. But this time it isn't about a solo, it's about Quinn. It's always been about Quinn. Quinn smiles a grin at the brunette, her drooping eyes slowly beginning to close.
"Thank you...Treasure Trail," Quinn whispers as she finally gives into the sleep deprivation that has been calling her name since she collapsed on the bed. Rachel smiles to herself as she intertwines her fingers around Quinn's, watching as the young girl slept, curious as to if she knew how much she has always cared for her.
"You're never going to be alone. I promise," Rachel sighs before she closes her eyes.
She can feel her heart beating loudly in her chest as the quiet sound of a guitar fills her ears. She lets out a quiet yawn, stretching her arms from under the blanket that she does not recall being wrapped around her. Slowly stirring, she opens her eyes to find Rachel sitting at her desk, guitar in hand as she strums through the chords. She does not recall ever knowing that Rachel could play the guitar, when did she learn this? Did Noah teach her this?! As if she wasn't already a triple threat: nice personality, nice voice, nice dancing. Now she could play the guitar, too?! None of them had a chance when it came to her. Quinn chuckles a laugh, placing her hand upon her prodding stomach, and she wonders when it happened, when she actually stared to care about her.
Her fingers move so elegantly across the chords, her eyes tightly closed, a notebook and a pen stretched out on the desk in front of her but clearly, the lyrics were not meant to be written down. At some point, Rachel is going to be more than this, she knows. She is going to be more than some girl from Lima, who sings most of the solos in Glee, more than the girl who allowed the girl who made her life a living hell for years to stay at her place because nobody else wanted to be friends with her. She knows that these small moments like these won't last forever, but for right now, it's enough for her.
"Nice melody," Quinn compliments with a smile, running her fingers through her tousled blond hair. Rachel jumps at the sudden sound of her voice, causing the ex cheerleader to swallow the laughter in her throat and smirk a breath taking grin toward the brunette. Rachel chuckles a laugh as she turns the young mother-to-be, amazed by her strength and beauty.
"I thought you were still sleeping," Rachel adds with a nervous laugh and Quinn only shrugs her shoulders.
"Yeah, I was. But I heard you playing and I woke up. It's a nice melody. Got any lyrics?" Quinn asks and the blush quickly curls within Rachel's round cheeks, her heart racing in her chest. It is moments like this, moments with Quinn, when she realizes that she is the only person that she is nervous in front of, that she is the only person she is afraid of making herself a fool in front of. She glances at her notebook with a swift nod of her head, the smile playing loosely at her lips as she gnaws on her bottom lip with a quaint sigh.
"A-a few. After last night....after what you said...I couldn't sleep. So I wrote this song...I wrote it for you," Rachel admits with a sheepish grin and the smile spreads so large on Quinn's face that she nearly thinks her face is going to break. She crawls toward the edge of the bed, her eyes eager with excitement as her hand cups her pregnant stomach, her face etched with the all to familiar love and laughter that Rachel had been so desperate to find hours earlier.
"You....uh...you wrote me a song?" blushes Quinn and Rachel can only smile.
"Well, technically you and your daughter. But it's probably no good. I realize now that the sleep deprived should not write songs. Songs like that may have been popular in the 80's but I don't think that it works so well now," Rachel exclaims, just moments before ranting but Quinn's smile makes her forget the words that she had already prepared in her head.
"Sing it for me?" Quinn asks so sweetly that it reminds Rachel of the girl that she used to be. Of the girl who held Finn's hand, who blushed every time Mr. Schue asked her to sing and every one watched her. She reminds her of the girl that she used to be before her entire world came crumbling down around her and she realizes how much she exactly liked thatgirl.
"I..I don't know. I mean, it's still a little rough," Rachel tries to excuse herself from singing but Quinn only laughs, a sound that is like the most perfect melody, the sound that is like a golden ray of sunshine on a cold winter day. No, Rachel does not know when it happened but all she knows is that it did happen and she did fall for Quinn Fabray. Damn her smile.
"Oh come on, Treasure Trail. You have always loved soaking up the spotlight! You always have to have every solo, every ballad in Glee. You even battled Kurt for "Defying Gravity", granted he may have blew the note on purpose but still. And you...you tried to take the ballad from Mercedes, remember? You got to sing your ballad at Sectionals. Don't be shy, you're never shy or nervous. Just sing. Baby and I are waiting to hear our song," Quinn demands with a defiant smile pressed upon her lips and Rachel knows that saying no to a pregnant girl who has lost everything, would be something akin to stepping on a kitten. And Rachel Berry liked kittens, damn it.
"Fine, but you'll hate it," Rachel laughs with a roll of her eyes and Quinn squints her eyes.
"Sing!" She demands and Rachel laughs yet again before she allows her fingers to strum against the guitar, the chords playing easily from her now. Quinn watches, her eyes wide with excitement and she smiles when her dark blue orbs are colliding hard with a pair of russet brown and she sucks in a hard breath, trying to control her erratically racing heart.
"Time, is going by, so much faster than I, and I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you. Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside, so I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you. so if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..." Rachel sings, her voice like the perfect melody in a silent world, it brings every emotion that Quinn thought she had pushed away in a tiny little box to life. The brunette waits for a moment, allowing the strings to dance between her fingers, watching Quinn's eyes for the emotion that she feeds from.
"Never gonna be alone, from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall...Never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone." so they may not understand it, so the baby may not be hers and so Puckerman may want to be involved in his daughter's life, it didn't change what Rachel has always been afraid to admit.
"And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands, cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you, So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...Never gonna be alone, from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall. When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on. We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone." Rachel sings, watching as the tears appear within Quinn's beautiful eyes. Slowly the blond stands and the brunette follows her lead, she smiles at her as she walks toward her, listening to the guitar rip through the silence.
"You've gotta live every single day, like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes? Don't let it slip away,
could be our only one, you know it's only just begun. Every single day, maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes..." Quinn sings and Rachel is surprised at how easily the lyrics flow through the young woman as the guitar plays the bittersweet melody. Quinn smiles, reaching toward Rachel as the fourth verse rips through her so elegantly.
"Time, is going by, so much faster than I, and I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you. So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..." Quinn sings with a smile, the only truth escaping from her now.
"Never gonna be alone, from this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall. When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on. We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone," The girls sing in unison now as Quinn reaches forward, allowing her fingers to intertwine around Rachel's as the guitar slowly slows to a stop and the brunette stares at the young mother-to-be with nothing but tears and the utmost appreciation in her eyes.
"I'm gonna be there always, I won't be missing one more day, I'm gonna be there always, I won't be missing one more day. One more day," Rachel sings in a soft whisper as the room falls still, both of them laboring for a breath, both suddenly very aware of what all of this means. Quinn stares at the brunette in front of her, her heart racing in her chest and she realizes that it was a heart that never hers to keep, it always belonged to Rachel. No, she sighs with a simple shake of her head, the reason that she tortured Rachel every single day was not because she didn't like her, it was because she did.
"See? I told you that it was a little rough. I really need to work on the pitch of the song and maybe the temp too. I mean, it was a little fast but I think that if it is slowed down just a little bit, the message will come through easier and I...I was thinking that maybe if I showed this to Mr. Schue he could let us sing at our next competition. But that is, if I work on it and if you and..." She is interrupted by a pair of lips colliding hard with hers. It takes her a moment to realize what is happening but once she does, she allows herself to give into the kiss, dropping the guitar onto the bed as her body sways close to hers. They fit together perfectly, not messy or sloppy or desperate, just a perfect, comfortable fit. Like her favorite pair of pajamas, a little worn, a little damaged, but still unbelievably perfectly comfortable. Quinn pulls away with a smirk, leaving her forehead against Rachel's, watching as the brunette struggles to make sense of the factual truth of reality.
"Shut up," exclaims Quinn.
"I know that you are in a position right now that is extremely difficult. And I understand if you don't want to be with any one right now, especially me. The girl who blurted your secret to the entire school. I know that you were in love with Finn and that Puck is the father of this baby but I think that you and I...we could do this, I would never leave you. And I know that this is scary because I am not a guy and the entire school will give you hell for doing this but last night, when you were talking to me and I was looking at you and I just...we are good together. We even sing good together. Granted, you are a little pitchy but we could work on that. Quinn, I know that..." but yet again she is interrupted by Quinn's lips pressed against hers, she kisses her as the blond pulls away with a smirk.
"Shut up," Quinn giggles and Rachel blushes.
"I just want you to be happy. I know how cliché that is and that it's ironic that I say that because your family has disowned you and Finn doesn't even want to look at you, and the family that was wanting to adopt your baby has dropped the adoption but you deserve to be happy and you deserve..." She watches as the smile appears on Quinn's face and she can only smile back, "let me guess? Shut up?" Quinn nods her head as she kisses the brunette yet again, sitting down on the bed as their lips devour together like they are alive to music. Rachel pulls away with a groan, staring at the blond before a blush appears in her cheeks.
"Can I at least change the chords first? Because if you sidetrack me then I never will and Mr. Schue will hate it and without the song and you and I harmonizing together, we'll lose next competition, " Rachel asks and Quinn shakes her head.
"You really know how ruin a moment, you know that?" Quinn laughs and Rachel blushes with a sheepish grin.
"Yeah, I do. But you love me for it, Fabray. I mean, you have to love me because I wrote you and your daughter a song, nobody else has done that for you. And it was a great song, too!" Rachel admits and Quinn smiles, leaning forward as she kisses the smaller girl, pushing her back onto the bed, allowing her lips to dance against hers. She pulls away for a moment, staring down at Rachel with the utmost love and passion in her eyes before she allows a chuckle to escape her.
"That I do, Rachel Berry. That I do," Quinn whispers before she kisses her again, allowing her body to melt into hers and she realizes that as long as she had her Treasure Trail, she and her daughter, would never be alone.
Feedback is always nice to come home to. (: