Disclaimer~ I don't own anything except my copy of the game. Which I love!
#It is foolish…
I watch Saïx. He does not yet know that I watch him. Does not know that I am jealous. If he did, he would laugh. A low, hollow laugh. For us Nobodies do not have positive feelings. We do not feel joy or happiness. We do not know what fun or love is. But we can feel all of the negative feelings. Sorrow , guilt, hatred, anger, misery, jealousy. Jealously, it is an odd feeling. I am not jealous of Saïx. Oh no. I am jealous of what has Saïx's attention.
I question him about where he goes, and what he does. Yet he refuses talk about it. I do not need to ask. I know where he goes, and what he does. He leaves the Castle at the same time everyday, and returns at the same time. He goes to the same some bodies world, and watches the same somebody. That somebody, is who I am jealous of. I know these things, because I secretly follow him. I watch Saïx. I watch how his usual stoic expression disappears when he watches the young man. I watch how his eyes change. They do not look so menacing, so full of hatred and pain, but of care.
I can tell he cares for this man. I know very little of the young sword master. I know that he wields a strange sword, like one that I have never seen before. I know that he, also, has the same stoic expression, and eyes that seem to change at will. The different hues, of blue and gray, bland and separate, creating a vortex that you could lose yourself in.
And I fear that Saïx has already lost himself. I wonder vaguely if Saïx even knows that mans name. If he has ever talked to him.
But today, when I secretly arrive at the world in which Saïx visits, Saïx is not like usual. His expression is neither of caring or pain, but of sorrow and worry.
I look down in the small ravine that the man is always in. He is there, yes. But he is not training. He does not dance with his sword, does not swing it in full circles, or arcs. Does not look to be in serious concentration and pleasure from the feeling of adrenaline, that I know, is usually building inside of him when he practices. He does not look stoic, but full of sorrow. But why? How could a normal person, who has a heart and soul, someone who is whole, be able to look like he is so full of pain and sorrow. Be able to look like someone who has gone through everything us Nobodies have and more?
I return to the Castle. Saïx is upset. I can tell. And it breaks my non-existent heart to see him like that.
He does not return until late into the night. When I am the only member awake. And I realize, that I am the only member who cares about Saïx. And I suddenly feel sad, Saïx must know that no one in the Organization likes him because of his temper, that is so easily set off. But I will wait for him, because I do care for him.
The portal opens and Saïx enters the hall. He walks without a word to the stairs, but I stop him. His expression is bleak and painful. I ask what is wrong but I get no answer.
"It was that man. Wasn't it?" I ask. He looks at me surprised.
"You-you know?" he stutters. His voice is low and quite.
I nod, but then realize that he had lowered his head again. "Yes. I know. Forgive me."
I watch him. His shoulder begin to shake.
"What did he do?" I ask. He does not answer. "Saïx….?"
Saïx suddenly throws his arms around my neck and sobs on my shoulder. I do not know how to comfort him. I have never encountered such despair. I am not jealous anymore. Instead I am filled with raw anger. That man did something to my Saïx. I decided to show him what happens when he messes with the object of my affection.
I slowly lower Saïx to sit on the steps. He covers his face with his hands and lets his moon blue hair fall into his face. I bring up a portal. "W-where…"
"To the ravine. I'm going to show him what happens when they mess with you."
Saïx shook his head. "You can't-" he starts but his voice drifted off, and disappeared as I stepped into the dark portal.
I arrive at the ravine. It is dark, but the moon shown brightly. I look around for the man.
He is laying in the same spot he was in, when I was here this morning. The moon lit up the area and him. His strange sword is not far away, at least with in arms distance. I truly hope that he does not attempt to attack.
Usually the moon takes away all of Saïx's problems, but if the moon couldn't even take away this pain, I do not know what will.
I slowly approach the man. "Do you know, that you had someone watching over you?" no answer. "Did you know that, that person cares about you?" Still no answer. I stop moving. "Are you deaf? A mute? Answer me!" I shout into the darkness.
The man continues to be silent. My anger gets the best of me and I march up to him. "Listen! What is wrong with you?" I yell.
I pick him up by the collar. His head rolls to the side, and his arms are limp at his sides. "Hey!" I shake him. His head rolls forward. And I hear the soft sound of a drop hitting the ground. But it is not raining. Looking down I notice that it is not rain. It is too dark in color. I examine the man again, and realization hits me. Shocked I drop him.
He falls to the ground rather gracefully. I crouch down next to him and examine him closely. He seems quite small, yet very muscular. He has a scar marring his face and shoulder length brown hair. His eyes are open but are blank. The fading color of blue and gray and still present but very faint. His white shirt, under his jacket is bloodied at the waist. I lift up his arm to check for a pulse only to be shocked again. there is a deep gash along the width of both his wrists.
I look at his weapon. The blade is covered in the dark red liquid. Saïx must have watched him. Watched him hurt himself. I no longer feel jealous at this man. For he has experienced so much pain. And I know that it is foolish, for someone to feel jealous towards another person who cannot even withstand life, for the pain was to great.
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A/N- I left the first person view out so you the people ( that sounded like something a president said…) can decided who you would want it to be. Of course, the person who watches Saïx has to be in the Organization (duh) I was actually listening to Simple and Clean when I wrote this…and I think that song can be kind sad…if you think about it….but I might have been over thinking things, I do that a lot then start to have internal monologues and WOOH we don't want to go there…
I also purposely left out the person who Saïx liked name to see if people are good at paying attention…I left plenty of clues. there is no reason anyone should not be able to figure out who it is
Ok, well review and I'll see ya'll next time I come up with a story idea and a pairing! Bye for now!