She waits until everyone else has gone up to bed before she approaches him by the fire, needing to talk to him in peace.
He looks up when she takes her seat opposite him, his eyes sparkling at her in that friendly way of his, but his expression becomes quizzical as he sees no change in the hollowness of hers.
"Is everything alright?" he asks, echoing his earlier question.
"No," she admits now, and he's surprised to see tears welling in her eyes.
"Miss Baxter?"
She stifles a sob in the back of her hand, unable to look at him for fear she truly will break down.
"Phyllis?" he asks more urgently, the name slipping unchecked from his lips in his urgency to console her, or at least for her to let him know what's wrong.
She finally looks at him.
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you earlier," she sobs out. "Mr Carson doesn't want everyone to know. But you deserve to. If it wasn't for you he might have –" She stops herself, unable to say the word.
Molesley looks panicked. "What's happened?" he asks, alarm colouring his voice.
"It's Thomas… He – he tried to end his own life," she chokes out.
He can think of no words to accurately express his horror, stutters out some surprised exclamation. "How did you –?" he asks, unable to finish the question, not sure if he's ready to hear the answer.
"I found him," she says, and he can see the horror in her eyes – can't imagine what it must have been like. "Andy helped me break into the bathroom. And it's thanks to you we were in time, Mr Molesley." He doesn't understand until she clarifies: "When you mentioned what he said to you, it just struck something within me – his face this morning, it set me on edge, and then when you said he was acting oddly, it just clicked."
Her face looks so tortured he cannot stop himself from reaching out – taking her hand. To his surprise she clasps it tightly, as though desperately clinging on.
"I'm sorry," he says eventually, when he finally manages to find his voice and speak around his thudding heart.
"What for?" she asks.
"I should have figured something was wrong sooner – said something to you sooner… Then maybe it wouldn't have happened." He continues, "Or I should have gone with you, helped you."
She cuts him off with a squeeze of his hand.
"It's not your fault," she tells him. "You said something in time, that's all that matters."
"Still, I feel awful for my cheeriness over dinner… If I'd known…"
"You've no need to feel awful," she assures him. "I don't begrudge you your happiness at all – I'm really glad you had a better day today, you deserve it." She gives him a small smile, and he's reassured by even the simple gesture, feeling as though the ground is righting beneath their feet again.
"It was all down to you actually," he admits.
She looks at him in surprise.
"You said I should just tell the children about being in service, so I did. It turns out they respected me far more after that."
Her proud smile warms his heart.
"I didn't do too badly at moral support then?" she asks, with a twinkle in her eyes – finally something more than that dreadful emptiness.
"You did wonderfully," he murmurs. "Without you, I don't think I would have had the confidence."
"You probably don't need me now," she blushes. "But I'd like to walk with you again tomorrow – if you'd like."
He realises he still hasn't let go of her hand – squeezes it now in reassurance.
"I'd like that a lot." He manages to check himself before he adds 'And I do need you'.
"I should go and check on Thomas before I retire to bed," she muses.
"I'll go with you," he says hurriedly, trying to sound nonchalant and failing.
She raises an eyebrow in question.
"He said something else," he admits. "I wasn't going to mention it, not after everything, but I don't want him to say something first…"
"What is it?" she asks, and he hates the note of worry in her voice.
"It's nothing bad," he quickly adds. "It's just, he said I should be brave and tell you how I feel…"
A gentle smile breaks onto her face. "Then tell me tomorrow," she murmurs. "I promise I'm not trying to put you off, but I need to separate the two things. I don't want to tarnish our moment by having it happen today."
"Tomorrow then," he promises, with a final squeeze of her hand.
A/N: Don't worry, there's more to come!