|2| ERURI : SALVATION
NOTE: Slightly nsfw? Just for case, R-17 I guess?
NOTE: This is my second fanfic ever, also English is not my first language so there might be mistakes, nope, there will be mistakes. Hope you will enjoy it anyway, Ale. Again, I can't belive I wrote this.
A scream.
"No!"
A promise.
"You will live to see them dead, I promise"
Death.
"He is dead corporal, let him go"
A lie.
"I'm sorry"
Rush.
"Everybody run!"
Chaos.
"Shit, hurry!"
Rivaille opened his eyes suddenly and for a split second he thought he was still there, outside the walls in the dark forest, which was swarming with titans. It wasn't long though, till he realized he was lying in his bed in his own room and he was alone.
He was alone indeed.
He anxiously wiped the sweat from his forehead with disgust and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to stabilize his breath. He hided his face in his hands and tittered audibly.
"It's ridiculous. Am I still not used to it?" he whispered into the dark of his room. After five long, silent minutes he finally decided to lay back on the bed. But he could not sleep anymore. No matter what he did to distract his own thoughts, he was still seeing all these faces before his eyes. Faces of men and women - his comrades, whom he promised a new tomorrow. A new tomorrow, which never came for them.
Finally, when he was sure he won't get to sleep tonight he decided to take some fresh air. Rivaille got out of bed, got dressed and left the room. He lived in the military building, in which almost all the scouting legion members lived. They usually had no homes, no family to return to and so all they needed was a bed, a table, small kitchen and a bathroom. Rivaille hated this builing. He hated it because it seemed he was the only one trying to keep it clean. He hated that the rooms were getting empty so quickly, that its locators didn't even had the chance to properly say "I live here, this is my room".
"Shit" he muttered to himself as he stumbled on an apple core on the floor. He carefully picked it and put it in the litter bin.
"Disgusting."
"What's so disgusting?" He heard a men voice coming from the room at the end of the corridor. He turned around and saw Irvin standing with his usual serious expression on his face.
"Everything" replied Rivaille in a quite voice.
"Yeah, I guess..." Irvin smirked. "Actually it was my apple core, you know?"
"What?"
"It's just, my bin is full, and you see I wanted to throw it..."
"You're drunk." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"Well..." Irvin was smiling, and it felt so fake it has made Rivaille anxious. He walked to Irvins room in a rush, pulled Irvin inside and slammed the door.
"Jesus, Irvin you're a goddamned commander"
"So what? Want some?" He took another bottle of sake and passed it to corporal, but he declined. Irvin wasn't satisfided with this outcome. "Come on, this is an order, you have always trusted my orders, remember?" His face suddenly became darker and serious. Rivaille looked into his eyes and saw something he had always feared to see – despair and hopelessness. He was terrifed that Irivin might be broken, that he has reached his limit. And that he wouldn't be able to help him.
"Irvin, please..." he pleaded as he saw his commander took another gulp of sake "What if they would suddenly attack tonight... You're the only capable person in this damn squad you have to..."
"Shshsh..." he took another sip. Candle standing on the cabinet next to his bed, was slowly burning out and the room was getting darker. "I know, Rivaille" his voice wasn't so playful as before. The black haired man felt enormous sadness coming from his commanders mouth. He thought that if he'd still have a heart, it would break for sure. "No matter how much I drink, it's still the same"
"Still disgusting?"
Irvin smiled a little again and it again pierced through Rivaille like an arrow.
"I just wanted to forget all these faces, just for a minute..."
Rivaille bit his lower lip.
"... but it just doesn't work."
"You think too much" said Rivaille in a concerned tone.
"Do I?"
"Yeah, you should just focus on keeping this place clean" he added as looked around his room. There was lots of empty bottles laying on the floor. Some papers on his bed and wardrobe. Table was littered with his leftovers.
His room was one hudge mess, and Rivaille just couldn't stand it. He felt irritated, but oddly the mess wasn't exactly the cause. It was Irvin. He shouldn't show this side of him to his subordinate. Not to him at least.
"I tell you Rivaille, have some sake"
"I told you it's disgusting and what's more..." he wasn't able to finish as Irvin forced his sake to him by kissing. Corporal felt warm liquid in his mouth and he immedietly choked on this sensation.
"Are you out of your mind?"
"I thnik so" replied Irvin as he captured his mouth again, this time placing inside Rivailles mouth his own tongue. He hold him so thigt corporal couldn'r escape his embrance. He was struggling, for it was disgusting and he himself felt as he would fell apart any moment.
But somewhere along the way he stoped struggling. And Irvin stopped being so forceful. It was as if they finally have come to an agreement.
As if they both were so broken, they just stopped careing.
As if they they both felt so helpless, they needed each other.
"Dammit Irvin" said corporal, as Irvin finally broke the kiss.
"The night is still young"
"Dammit" replied Rivaille as he kissed blond one with the same passion as his commander before.
It was as if the both felt so lonely, they needed salvation.