Rightio, I've managed to write up another kind of pointless thingy, but it kept me entertained for quite a while, so here it is... Hope you enjoy it. Don't mind the random, 'lack-of-point' behind it.
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Bare-Sonny-Buns
"You know Donnie, you may be having a break from work here to cool off after all the stress you've been under recently… but does that really mean you can't answer the door?" Alan Eppes asked his eldest son from his position in the lounge room doorway. Don yawned and stretched over-exaggeratingly from his position on the couch.
"I was just about to get the door, I swear. You beat me to it dad. I admit defeat!" replied Don, a huge grin spread across his face. Alan rolled his eyes, motioning to the front door as it rang yet again.
"Don't worry- I got it." He called over his shoulder sarcastically, imagining the smile still plastered on Don's face. He opened the front door just to catch Larry off guard, whose hand hovered mid air ready to press the doorbell again.
"Alan! I truly am sorry for disturbing you, but Charles asked me to come by to read over some work, and I wasn't quite certain as to whether or not the doorbell could be heard from whatever position you were in at the house at the time of my original ringing." Larry spluttered out, leaving Alan unfazed.
"Come in, come in!" he motioned, stepping back to allow Larry room to enter. "You were right, the doorbell was quite difficult to hear from the backyard." Alan glared at the back of Don's head, as if tempting it to turn and grin. And thus, it did.
"Hey Larry, how's it going?" Asked Don, slapping the seat next to him, motioning for Larry to join him. Larry slowly made his way over, delicately placing his backside on the seat next to the sprawled out Don.
"Hello Donald, I do believe 'it' is 'going' quite well, and how might 'it' be 'heading' for you?" To this Don blinked. After a few beats, he smiled that smile again that made Alan sometimes wish he could spray-and-wipe it off. Then again, he couldn't deny how nice it was to have Donnie here with Charlie and himself, and for Don to be in such an overall happy mood.
"Larry, 'it's' heading to a rather swell destination!" Larry was almost forced to squint from the bright white glare of Don's toothy grin.
Alan took a seat opposite his son and the professor. "So, Don, why don't you go get your brother, huh? Is he in the garage again? Why don't you shake him out of his reverie like a nice big brother would?"
"I think he just got out of the shower." Stated Don thoughtfully, wiggling in his seat a little awkwardly, knowing where this was heading. Alan cleared his throat.
"Don," he said slowly. "Why don't you go get your little brother, yeah? Maybe allow me some time to fluff the cushion you're on before it moulds to the shape of your posterior?" Don frowned.
"What's wrong with the shape of my posterior?"
"Donnie. Go get your brother."
Don faked a tiresome grumble as he slowly removed himself from the seat and stumbled out of the room. Alan sighed and shook his head, turning to Larry.
"Can I get you a drink there Larry?"
Larry, who was now focused on the cushion Don had just been lounging on, looked up briefly. "No thank you Alan. And might I add, I believe your cushion is quite safe from being forever cast in the mould of your son's…" Larry stumbled for words.
"Rear." Alan finished the sentence. Larry nodded.
Both men were shaken from their moment as a yelp was heard from the direction Don had just walked in. Both men rose quickly from their seats, ready to pounce over to see what the fuss and commotion was, but were halted when a giggling Don came back through the doorway and once again threw himself onto the lounge seat. Alan couldn't help but notice how it seemed as if Don had never left the seat.
"Well?" asked Alan. "Where's Charlie?"
Don giggled again. "Charlie will be down in five. I was right, he was just in the shower. He's out now though." To this, Larry and Alan shared puzzled glances.
"What are you saying, son?"
Don grinned. "I caught sight of the 'Bx4', so you might want to give him a bit of time boys."
"The 'B times' what?" asked Alan, frowning in confusion. Larry looked truly horrified. "Donnie, what are you talking about?"
"The 'Bx4'!" Don grinned almost evilly. "Bare-Baby-Brother-Buns."
Everything fell silent. You could almost hear Don's smile.
"DON!" came Charlie's squeal as he raced into the room, skidding to a halt on the floor. Larry quickly shielded his eyes, fearing Charlie to have come running down in all his glory and sharing his 'Bx4' with the world. Everyone took a moment to glance at Larry.
"It's alright Larry." Alan said softly, slowly extending a hand and placing it on Larry's shoulder. "Charlie is decent." With this reassurance, Larry slowly pulled his shield down.
After waiting a beat for Larry to recompose himself, Charlie glared daggers at Don. "What's the go with bursting into my room without so much as a 'knock'! I had just showered! Is the word 'privacy' not in your vocabulary?!"
Don beamed. "Course not, buddy!" Charlie was taken slightly aback by Don's forwardness. He growled under his breath.
"Please, tell me you did NOT just say that stupid 'Bx4' thing, did you?"
Once again, everyone was left to shield their eyes from Don's bright white toothy grin. "Take it like this Chuck; even if I hadn't, you just did! Therefore technically, you should be mad at yourself for bringing it up in the first place."
Charlie scrunched his face up. "What?!" he cried. "How does that even remotely make sense?!" Don replied with another toothy grin.
"You're such a child Don!"
"Oh, I'm the child? Let's not forget who actually made up the term, 'Bx4' in the first place, CHUCK! If you recall back to the summer of 12th grade, when Sarah Wilson came over to work on a group project, and I simply went off to freshen up and YOU opened the door to her and… Wait, what was it Charlie? What was it that you said to her? Come on, it really wasn't that hard to forget! What did you say to her Charlie?"
Charlie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I have no recollection of whatever you're dribbling on about." To this, Don stood up.
"Well, at least it got him back off the couch." Alan muttered.
"I believe, CHARLES, that you proceeded to tell her of how you had seen me apparently 'prancing around' all 'Bx4'!"
"No I didn't… How could I possibly use 'Bx4' against YOU? 'Bare-Baby-Brother-Buns'? Are you aware that you are not my baby brother; therefore it just does not work! You're brain's getting worse in your old age, isn't it DONALD!?"
"I thought a math genius like yourself would know that B also stands for BIG! 'Bare-Big-Brother-Buns'! Has it slipped your mind already, CHUCK!?"
"Well… YOU WERE PRANCING!"
"LIAR! I WAS NOT! YOU WERE JUST JEALOUS!"
"OF WHAT? THE FACT THAT SARAH THOUGHT I WAS THE FUNNY ONE AND YOU WERE JUST A PRANCING LITTLE… PRANCER!"
"NICE COMEBACK CHUCK! GOT ANOTHER?"
"YEAH! JUST… give me a second...!"
"NOW YOU'RE JUST HUMILIATING YOURSELF!"
"OH, YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT HUMILIATION HEY? HOW ABOUT THAT TIME WHEN…"
Alan sighed, standing and pulling Larry by the arm into the kitchen. "How about a nice hot cup of coffee, Larry? I'll use more milk than actual coffee beans."
Larry took a seat at the table, his jaw hanging open. "Shouldn't we perhaps try to assist those two in dealing with their issues before they escalate into something unmanageable?"
Alan laughed, filling the jug up with water ready to boil. "Those two have to have their little tiffs at least once a week or two, otherwise they blow up." Alan placed two mugs onto the table, one in front of Larry. Larry stared at it, still confused.
"Um… blow up?"
Alan smiled, placing sugar and two spoons on the table. "You know what's really funny, Larry? Those two are fighting over the fact that they just so happen to have seen each other's bare bottom. They fail to really take note of the fact that I've seen both of them running around as little boys, shaking their 'B.S.B.' happily like no one was watching."
Larry raised an eyebrow. "'B.S.B.'?"
Alan chuckled. "Bare-Sonny-Buns."
There was a moment of quietness from the lounge room, that only moments before was filled with the squealing vocabulary of Alan's two rowdy sons. The silence left both Larry and Alan nervous.
"DAAAAAAAD!" bellowed the two Eppes boys in unison.
"How about we take our drinks outside, Larry?" asked Alan, grabbing the items as fast as he possibly could in hopes of making a rush to the back door, just as heard the sounds of two sets of thundering feet plowing through the lounge room towards the kitchen.