Harry Potter and the Pink Fuzzy Rabbit
The day had come, Harry was going to graduate. He had all his things ready. The graduation ceremony was about to begin and he needed to get his Invisibility Cloak. But the thing was.he couldn't find it. He searched and searched, but no Invisibility Cloak. He decided to go without it, maybe his last glance, he would find it, but what he saw infront of his door scared him silly.
"I am the pink fuzzy rabbit that haunts your brick wall. I have found your Invisibility Cloak and have decided to keep it. Being very rare as they are." It squeaked, dull black eyes watching him.
"You-You can't! It's mine, mine!!" He yelled, kicking his bed post as it rattled. "You bastard!"
"Watch your language! This is supposed to be rated PG. You want the author to get sued when little kiddies read this and hear such words?" The rabbit snapped.
"Oh, sorry."
"Anyway, to get your Invisibility Cloak (Do you know what? Invisibility is to long to spell so from now on, it is now as the Old Swooshy) To get your Old Swooshy back you must go through a series of tests. Tests that will determine if you are fit to possess the Old Swooshy, using brains, swiftness, and a bunch of other things that involve that little brain of yours."
Harry puzzled and still very angry at the thought of not being able to keep his Old Swooshy, he scratched his head. "Er, can I just have it back?"
"No, listen to the rabbit." He growled, " The first test, a potion quiz!"
"Potion? Why the potions!" Harry cried, falling to his knees in sadness.
"What do you think I would have you do, play Quidditch against toddlers, woohoo, look a carrot." The rabbit clicked his heels and all of a sudden, he was in the dungeons, hands and ankles chained to the wall.
"No bondage! Please, anything but bondage!" He screamed.
"POTTER! YOU PIECE OF FILTH!" Harry opened his eyes and saw Snape standing right infront of him wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of trunks. "I'm late for the Caribbean. Shut up and just say the answer. I need a break. You farking kids are giving me hives. What is the exact ingredient, amount, and purpose of making an enhancing tickling potion?"
"Oh, I know this-."
"Wrong, punish him and let me go burn in the sun foolishly and come back looking like a Asian fruit." He grumbled and with a poof of smoke, he was gone and Harry was being tickled with the potion (He didn't drink anything?!) in which he had gotten the answer wrong.
"Damn yooooooouu!!" Harry laughed, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Hey, what did I say about language. Now you will be punished with the hammer of justice!" The Rabbit growled, holding a hammer with the letters 'fair' on it. He sent the hammer down and knocked Harry on the head, creating an instant bump and Harry felt alittle dizzy. (Der, he just got hit in the head with a hammer) "Now, let that be a lesson to you." He growled, fixing his whiskers.
"Ow," Harry grumbled.
"Now, for your second task, so far you don't deserve the Old Swooshy. You never know- you might after all get it back. The second task will be of physical fitness, let's see if you can dodge and fight your fears." He growled. He grabbed Harry's wand and sent an array of sparkles on the floor next to him and Harry was released and a snake lay there- kinda asleep.
"Erm, is this supposed to be the scary thing I have to dodge?" Harry asked, getting his senses back.
"Yes, mwuahaha! Fear it's evilness and its slimy icky scales of death." The pink rabbit got so caught up in its laughter he didn't bother to watch.
"Um, hi." Harry stuttered, walking up to the snake. "What's up?"
"Yo, man! It'sss Harry Potter! I'm pretty up, man.how'ssss everything going, man?" He said with a Mexican accent. The snake suddenly had something in his mouth, like a long paper-like cigar. "Want ssssome?" He asked.
"Um, I was told this story was supposed to be rated PG. Isn't the use of pot like.PG-13 or something?" Harry asked, scratching his messy hair which had a snail in it for some reason.
(Unknown to them, Hermione, at this very moment, was blowing all her money and getting drunk with Snape in the Caribbean, while Ron chased after her yelling how much he hated her. Snape was just sitting there pretty much *nodnod*)
"Ah, I thought it wassss rated R, man? Pardon my rudenessssss. Want a smoke anywaysss?" He asked, taking the end of his tail and lifting the stogie up to him.
"NO! Must resists use of drugs!" Harry screamed, clutching his head and running away from the snake. (This is too much Cheech and Chong, excuse me) The rabbit stopped laughing and noticed no one was around except for the snake who was smoking up the whole room.
"Stupid snake, you were supposed to lure Potter into using drugs! Therefore, he would be a bad role model and they would make me the main character!!" The rabbit growled, kicking the snake into a pit of melted marshmallow. (I like marshmallow ^_^)
The rabbit hunted Harry down and saw him and Dobby playing cards. "Master Harry, you bad role model. You cheat Dobby, and now Dobby must punish Harry Potter." Dobby cried, grabbing and lamp and bashing himself off the head and falling to the ground.
"Uh," Harry stated.
"Potter, for your third task you-." He started but got cut off when Dobby bashed him over the head with a toaster.
"Dobby- must- punish- himself!!!"
"Er, Dobby?"
"Yes, Harry Potter?" He asked, he abruptly stopped bludgeoning the rabbit with a toaster.
"You just did something good for me, now I can get Old Swooshy back." Harry said blankly.
"Oh," Long silence. "Bad Dobby!!!" He smashed himself over the head with the 'oven' toaster and was knocked out.
"Uh, thanks I think." Harry Potter walked over to the rabbit and grabbed Old Swooshy, and he did what he never thought could. He walked outside, naked, thinking that the Old Swooshy would conceal him, he had been fooled by the Pink Fuzzy Rabbit. He had actually gotten only.dum, dum, dum! A NORMAL CLOAK!!
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean.
"No, Hermione! Don't do it!" Ron screamed, reaching out to her. Hermione screamed and fell off the boat they were in, thinking she saw a mountain troll and tried to go catch it. (Silly girl) "No, I have no meaning. I never even- told her- how I felt."
"Weasley! Come over here, shut up, and have a shot with me." Snape scream, demanding the boy over.
"Er----okay----." Ron walked over, got drunk with the Potion Master and then when he was awake, he realized he had gotten a tattoo that said, "I like cheese." As for Snape-- he-- bought a beach house and is settling down with a grindylow that Remus J. Lupin had sent him. (No, this is not what you think. Snape has just lost his mind) And therefore, the end has come-- and as you know. Everyone eventually dies and so on.
THE END!
Ps. Old Swooshy is no more cause Harry spilt pumpkin juice all over it...and everyone saw him naked so he had to change his name to Clint Westwood.
The day had come, Harry was going to graduate. He had all his things ready. The graduation ceremony was about to begin and he needed to get his Invisibility Cloak. But the thing was.he couldn't find it. He searched and searched, but no Invisibility Cloak. He decided to go without it, maybe his last glance, he would find it, but what he saw infront of his door scared him silly.
"I am the pink fuzzy rabbit that haunts your brick wall. I have found your Invisibility Cloak and have decided to keep it. Being very rare as they are." It squeaked, dull black eyes watching him.
"You-You can't! It's mine, mine!!" He yelled, kicking his bed post as it rattled. "You bastard!"
"Watch your language! This is supposed to be rated PG. You want the author to get sued when little kiddies read this and hear such words?" The rabbit snapped.
"Oh, sorry."
"Anyway, to get your Invisibility Cloak (Do you know what? Invisibility is to long to spell so from now on, it is now as the Old Swooshy) To get your Old Swooshy back you must go through a series of tests. Tests that will determine if you are fit to possess the Old Swooshy, using brains, swiftness, and a bunch of other things that involve that little brain of yours."
Harry puzzled and still very angry at the thought of not being able to keep his Old Swooshy, he scratched his head. "Er, can I just have it back?"
"No, listen to the rabbit." He growled, " The first test, a potion quiz!"
"Potion? Why the potions!" Harry cried, falling to his knees in sadness.
"What do you think I would have you do, play Quidditch against toddlers, woohoo, look a carrot." The rabbit clicked his heels and all of a sudden, he was in the dungeons, hands and ankles chained to the wall.
"No bondage! Please, anything but bondage!" He screamed.
"POTTER! YOU PIECE OF FILTH!" Harry opened his eyes and saw Snape standing right infront of him wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of trunks. "I'm late for the Caribbean. Shut up and just say the answer. I need a break. You farking kids are giving me hives. What is the exact ingredient, amount, and purpose of making an enhancing tickling potion?"
"Oh, I know this-."
"Wrong, punish him and let me go burn in the sun foolishly and come back looking like a Asian fruit." He grumbled and with a poof of smoke, he was gone and Harry was being tickled with the potion (He didn't drink anything?!) in which he had gotten the answer wrong.
"Damn yooooooouu!!" Harry laughed, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Hey, what did I say about language. Now you will be punished with the hammer of justice!" The Rabbit growled, holding a hammer with the letters 'fair' on it. He sent the hammer down and knocked Harry on the head, creating an instant bump and Harry felt alittle dizzy. (Der, he just got hit in the head with a hammer) "Now, let that be a lesson to you." He growled, fixing his whiskers.
"Ow," Harry grumbled.
"Now, for your second task, so far you don't deserve the Old Swooshy. You never know- you might after all get it back. The second task will be of physical fitness, let's see if you can dodge and fight your fears." He growled. He grabbed Harry's wand and sent an array of sparkles on the floor next to him and Harry was released and a snake lay there- kinda asleep.
"Erm, is this supposed to be the scary thing I have to dodge?" Harry asked, getting his senses back.
"Yes, mwuahaha! Fear it's evilness and its slimy icky scales of death." The pink rabbit got so caught up in its laughter he didn't bother to watch.
"Um, hi." Harry stuttered, walking up to the snake. "What's up?"
"Yo, man! It'sss Harry Potter! I'm pretty up, man.how'ssss everything going, man?" He said with a Mexican accent. The snake suddenly had something in his mouth, like a long paper-like cigar. "Want ssssome?" He asked.
"Um, I was told this story was supposed to be rated PG. Isn't the use of pot like.PG-13 or something?" Harry asked, scratching his messy hair which had a snail in it for some reason.
(Unknown to them, Hermione, at this very moment, was blowing all her money and getting drunk with Snape in the Caribbean, while Ron chased after her yelling how much he hated her. Snape was just sitting there pretty much *nodnod*)
"Ah, I thought it wassss rated R, man? Pardon my rudenessssss. Want a smoke anywaysss?" He asked, taking the end of his tail and lifting the stogie up to him.
"NO! Must resists use of drugs!" Harry screamed, clutching his head and running away from the snake. (This is too much Cheech and Chong, excuse me) The rabbit stopped laughing and noticed no one was around except for the snake who was smoking up the whole room.
"Stupid snake, you were supposed to lure Potter into using drugs! Therefore, he would be a bad role model and they would make me the main character!!" The rabbit growled, kicking the snake into a pit of melted marshmallow. (I like marshmallow ^_^)
The rabbit hunted Harry down and saw him and Dobby playing cards. "Master Harry, you bad role model. You cheat Dobby, and now Dobby must punish Harry Potter." Dobby cried, grabbing and lamp and bashing himself off the head and falling to the ground.
"Uh," Harry stated.
"Potter, for your third task you-." He started but got cut off when Dobby bashed him over the head with a toaster.
"Dobby- must- punish- himself!!!"
"Er, Dobby?"
"Yes, Harry Potter?" He asked, he abruptly stopped bludgeoning the rabbit with a toaster.
"You just did something good for me, now I can get Old Swooshy back." Harry said blankly.
"Oh," Long silence. "Bad Dobby!!!" He smashed himself over the head with the 'oven' toaster and was knocked out.
"Uh, thanks I think." Harry Potter walked over to the rabbit and grabbed Old Swooshy, and he did what he never thought could. He walked outside, naked, thinking that the Old Swooshy would conceal him, he had been fooled by the Pink Fuzzy Rabbit. He had actually gotten only.dum, dum, dum! A NORMAL CLOAK!!
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean.
"No, Hermione! Don't do it!" Ron screamed, reaching out to her. Hermione screamed and fell off the boat they were in, thinking she saw a mountain troll and tried to go catch it. (Silly girl) "No, I have no meaning. I never even- told her- how I felt."
"Weasley! Come over here, shut up, and have a shot with me." Snape scream, demanding the boy over.
"Er----okay----." Ron walked over, got drunk with the Potion Master and then when he was awake, he realized he had gotten a tattoo that said, "I like cheese." As for Snape-- he-- bought a beach house and is settling down with a grindylow that Remus J. Lupin had sent him. (No, this is not what you think. Snape has just lost his mind) And therefore, the end has come-- and as you know. Everyone eventually dies and so on.
THE END!
Ps. Old Swooshy is no more cause Harry spilt pumpkin juice all over it...and everyone saw him naked so he had to change his name to Clint Westwood.