A/N: Welcome to Total Drama All Stars Redux. Going into the first chapter, all I want you to know is that line breaks are going to represent three things: where the opening would go, confessional transitions, and the mid-episode commercial break. Now, when I was posting this fic, the line break feature was no cooperating in the slightest, which resulted in many missing line breaks. Most of the mistakes seem to have retroactively fixed themselves, but please forgive any that might have slipped through the cracks.

There is a link to my AO3 (Archive of Our Own) account on my profile. I recommend reading this there, as there are pictures at the start of each chapter that show who all is left. On top of that, the line break system over there didn't give me any problems, so while the two versions have different endings, I do highly recommend the AO3 version for the visual guides.

Finally, This is heavily based off the actual season and as such, all the challenges will remain the same with the exception of one I'm going to add myself. Enjoy and leave feedback if you'd like!

Chris sat in his jail cell playing with Mini-Chef the cashew when a stack of papers was slid under the door one by one. He saw the papers and frowned. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked as he picked up the papers. "This isn't my lunch, this is..." He trailed off as he started reading the paper and finally gasped. "This is a contract for season five of Total Drama! Dude! Sign me up!"

Three short months later, Chris stood on the docks of Camp Wawanakwa, complete with a giant structure hidden under a tarp to his right, the Drama Machine to his left, and a countless number of cameras filming his good side (which was every side.) "Welcome back to Total Drama!" He enthused. "This year we've brought together all of your favorite competitors across all four seasons!" After he finished his sentence, a helicopter descended over the water just right of the giant tarp. "And here they come now! Introducing, your final two from last season, Cameron and Lightning!"

The side door to the helicopter opened to reveal Cameron, the short, pencil thin kid with glasses standing next to Lightning, the tall, insanely ripped jock. They waved awkwardly at the cameras as Chef Hatchet appeared behind them and shoved them out of the helicopter, sending them falling into the waters below. "Joining them are six other contestants from Total Drama Revenge of the Island. In no particular order, say hello to Scott."

The red-headed boy, now free from the robot he was trapped in clung to the side of the helicopter. "You're not sending me down there, man! There might be sharks in there..." Against his wishes, Chef pried him off the chopper and dropped him into the water.

"Jo."

The tall, dirty blonde girl waved Chef away as she prepared to dive. "Check it out, this is gonna be an Olympic level dive." She started squatting and preparing herself, but Chris called for the next contestant before she could dive properly.

"Brick!"

"Sir yes sir!" Brick marched directly off the aircraft, taking Jo with him. When they surfaced, Jo stared daggers at him until they made it to the dock.

"Sam."

Chef hauled Sam to the side of the copter by his shirt. "Wait, don't throw me in yet, I haven't reached a save point yet!" Chef disregarded his request and dropped him overboard.

"Zoey."

"Hey everyone," Zoey waved from the chopper. "I just wanted to say that I'm super glad to be back to compete with all my fr-"

"Hurry it up you dang ol' young'in!" A voice from behind her chirped. "Why, when I was yer age, we didn't have time for silly baby froufrou introductions. We had a war to win!"

"And Mike. AKA Chester, AKA Svetlana, AKA Vito, AKA Manitoba."

Mike regained control and opened his mouth to apologize for Chester's rude behavior, but before he could, Chef pushed the two of them into the air, where any attempt at an apology became a scream for dear life.

"And now, joining them from Total Drama World Tour is Sierra!"

Sierra snapped a picture from the helicopter and started typing away on her phone while Chef picked her up. "This is so going on my blog ASAP." After that was a screech as she plummeted into the waters below.

"And from Total Drama Island, welcome your All Stars. Duncan."

The young criminal flashed a rock on sign with his hands before shouting "geronimo!" and doing a cannon ball into the water.

"Heather, the queen of mean."

Heather, her hair fully grown and in a ponytail, stood with her arms crossed. "I'm not jumping. You won't make me."

"Watch me," Chef muttered as he unceremoniously shoved her out of the helicopter.

"Former Total Drama Aftermath co-host, Geoff!"

"Woohoo! It's party time!" Geoff screamed as he followed Duncan's example and jumped of his own accord.

"Noah."

"I thought you said this wouldn't be a physical season!" Noah screamed to be heard over the chopper blades.

"I lied," Chef shrugged and bumped into Noah, sending him careening out of the aircraft.

"Eva."

Eva glared at Chef. "Touch me and you're dead." She growled. Then she stepped off and into the air.

"And finally, everyone's favorite nutjob: Izzy!"

Chef looked around, scratching his head. "Chris, I can't find her."

"What do you mean you can't find her?" As Chris asked this, Izzy appeared behind Chef, and let out a warrior scream before pushing Chef himself out of the helicopter. She, of course, jumped in right after him.

"Um, Chef?" Chris asked when Chef surfaced.

"Yeah?"

"Was anyone else on that helicopter?"

"No."

As if on cue, the helicopter spiraled out of control and hit the water with an explosion. The charred remains sank into the water below and Izzy cackled maniacally. "Ha ha ha, boom boom!"

Chris shrugged and continued his introduction. "Who will prove themselves as true all stars? And who will sink like a...helicopter? Find out this season on Total! Drama! All stars!"

Once all the contestants were dried off and on the dock, it was time to separate them into teams. "Alright kiddos," Chris said. "It's time to join some teams. We separated you into two groups based on how well you did in past seasons. This first team is made up of those of you who performed the strongest overall. When I call your name, stand on the dock to my left. Duncan, Lightning, Heather."

"Oh great, I'm on Heather's team," Duncan whined as he followed Chris' instructions. "And where's Gwen? I was told she would be here too."

"You'll see," Chris answered.

"Aw, yeah! Might as well just call this Team Lightning. Sha-zam!"

"Can I like, not?" Heather asked.

"You can like, shut up," Chris answered. "Next are Jo, Cameron, Zoey and Sierra."

"I don't want to be on the same team as Jo again," Cameron complained.

"I second pencil-neck's whining," Jo chipped in.

"Hey, don't worry about it Cam, at least you're on my team, right?" Zoey assured him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Sierra simply clapped as she skipped over to join her team. "You guys will henceforth be known as the Victorious Condors." Chris said. "The next team is going to include those of you who didn't do so well. When I call your name, stand next to the thing under the tarp. Mike, Sam, Scott."

"I don't get to be on Zoey's te-"

"No, Mike. You don't," Chris interrupted.

"Hey, I did great last season!" Scott objected.

"Throwing challenges and framing your teammates?" Sierra asked. "I don't think so."

"I agree with the stalker, er, blogger," Chris said. "Now stop your whining."

"They have a point, Scott," Sam said.

"Shut it, four-eyes!"

"Brick and Geoff."

"It's an honor to be on your team, sir," Brick said to Geoff.

"Whoa man, just call me Geoff, okay? None of that sir business."

"Sir yes...I mean, okay Geoff."

"And finally, Izzy, Noah, and Eva."

"Woo! Team E-scope reunited!" Izzy shouted, bringing Noah and Eva into a hug.

"I can hardly contain my joy," Noah sighed. "Now please let me go before Eva kills us both for getting within twenty feet of her."

"I won't do that," Eva said after Izzy let them go. "I went to anger management classes—again and this year, I'm going to put them to good use and not get voted out so early. Just try to make it the same for you, alright?"

"Hey, I'll have you know I went farther than you could dream in season three."

"You were the first of your team voted off, smart guy," Eva shot.

"At least I won a challenge or two."

"At least I didn't kiss a guy!"

"Ki—hey shut up!" Noah spat.

"He's so lucky to have kissed Cody," Sierra sighed.

"Ahem," Chris faked a cough. "Anyway, your team will be hereby known as the Generic Gophers."

"Gee, thanks," Sam sighed. "Makes me feel so much better about myself."

"That was what I was going for."

"Chris?" Heather asked. "Um, two things."

"Yes, Heather?"

"First of all, why is Eva back? You can't be trying to tell me she's a fan favorite."

"Oh, right. I lied about that. Again. Next question?"

"I count eight people on the other team, and we only have seven. That's not fair."

"I've got an idea!" Izzy shouted from the Gopher side of the dock. "Me and Sierra will switch again!"

"Okay!" Sierra clapped again. Her and Izzy ran to opposite sides of the dock, high-fiving in the middle.

"So much for Team E-scope," Noah muttered.

"That doesn't change the fact that we're outnumbered," Jo complained.

Chris sighed. "I thought since you were the Victorious Condors, you could beat the odds and overcome uneven teams, but if it'll make you shut up about it, you can have the robot." The drama machine rolled over to the Condor team and beeped at Heather.

"Uh, thanks. I guess."

Heather sat on the confessional toilet with her arms crossed. "That stupid robot has been hitting on me non-stop since after the season three finale. And now I'm supposed to be on the same team as it? Ugh, I'm so done with this game."

"Uh, Chris?" Zoey asked.

"What is it now? No, you can't be on Mike's team."

"It's not that. Rude, by the way, but not that. Why are we the Condors if they're the Generic Gophers?"

"Yeah," Cameron asked. "Why don't we get the alliteration? Condor doesn't start with a V."

"It also doesn't rhyme with three. Any more questions?"

"Ugh, I'm sick of your vagueness McLean," Jo stomped her foot in frustration. "Let's get on with the game."

"Good idea!" Chris congratulated her. "Let's make way to the location of the first ever challenge in Total Drama history: The 100-foot cliff."

On the way to the cliff, Sam looked around at the pristine forests and the adorable wildlife surrounding him. "Uh, Chris? What happened here while you were, uh, locked away?"

"They cleaned every nook and cranny of this place. No more mutants, no more toxic waste, and definitely no more crazy ex-contestants hiding out in caves. As far as we know."

"Aw man," Sam complained. "The only reason I came back was so I could become a mutant like my Dakota. There's no point in being here now."

"Is that a quitter I hear?" Chris teased.

"Yeah, actually, it is," Sam said, turning around. "If you need me, I'll be at the dock. I'll go home with whoever goes home first."

"Suit yourself," Chris shrugged. "But I'll only tolerate one quitter per season, so if anyone wants to fight Sam to the death for that privilege, speak now or forever hold your guts."

"Um, isn't it pea-" Mike started, but Chris interrupted, because they had reached their destination.

"Welcome to the first challenge of Total Drama All Stars. This season, we're changing everything up." As he said this, an intern rolled in a TV on a stand. "The losing team for each challenge will, as usual, stay the night in one of our dingy, crappy cabins." The TV showed the familiar cabin that everyone (except Sierra) had stayed in before. "However, the winners..." The TV showed a gigantic mansion right next to the old cabin. "Will stay in the all new, eco-friendly, McLean spa hotel. Complete with butler, hot tub, and 24-hour masseuse."

Everyone marveled at the picture of the big house in awe, while Mike fumed with his arms crossed. "Yeah, would be great if I could finish a sente-"

"There seems to be a problem, though..." Chris said, turning off the TV. "We have...accidentally, of course, tossed a crap-ton of keys into these dangerous waters below the cliff."

"Excuse me?" Duncan asked. "Mind running that one by us again?"

"Oh, it's no biggie, really. All you have to do is dive off this cliff into the shark-infested waters."

"Sh...sharks?" Scott squealed.

Scott sat huddled in the fetal position on the confessional toilet. "Okay, so maybe I have a phobia of sharks...can you blame me?"

"From there, you will try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key. And choose wisely. Only one of those suckers is the real deal. Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land, a teammate will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from season three's race through central park. First team to unlock the spa door wins. The losing team will be sending someone home, so don't slack off! Everyone pick your designated driver and meet up back here in twenty minutes."

The first order of business was for each team to pick a driver. "I think the robot should do it," Heather suggested. "It'll be useless in the water."

"We can't trust that thing, man," Duncan disagreed. "Chris might have control of that thing still and if he does, do you really trust him to get you to the spa hotel in one piece?"

"Duncan has a point," Cameron said. "I would volunteer, but I'm not strong enough to do that."

"I'll drive!" Izzy volunteered.

"Nuh, uh, no way, amazon princess," Jo said sternly. "I saw what you did during that bike challenge in season one. If you're driving, we'll end up in the Yukon."

"No way," Izzy promised. "I've been to the Yukon before and it's nothing special. Just a bunch of snow and radio thieves. I'd go somewhere cool, like Brazil."

"I'm driving," Jo insisted.

"Yeah, leave the boring part to the girl, and let Lightning do all the dirty work," Lightning bragged, using the new found (to him, at least) knowledge that Jo's a girl.

"Want to say that again, sha-dingus?"

The Drama Machine beeped and rolled in between them, trying to stop them from fighting. "I don't speak robot," Zoey started, "but I think it's saying that we're all on the same team, so we can't fight."

"You did watch season one, right?" Heather asked her.

Zoey sighed in the confessional. "It's gonna be hard not being on the same team as Mike, but hopefully I can make it to the merge so we can have a real friendship finale. That is, if I don't get eaten alive by everyone else on the Condors. They all take things so seriously."

Meanwhile, with the Gophers, Noah sighed at the population of his team. "Well, I'll let you all decide who's driving, because I'm not gonna lug the lunkheads over here around all day." He motioned towards Brick, Eva, and Geoff.

"You better try, pipsqueak," Eva threatened.

"We went over this, Eva," Noah said. "I'll try as hard as you do."

"I think I should drive," Scott volunteered. "It's probably for the best that I stay as far away from those sharks as I can."

"No," Sierra shot him down. "I watched last season, and you threw every challenge you could. "I'm going to do it, because I definitely won't throw this."

"If you watched so closely last season, then you know how much I hate sharks," Scott insisted. "As long as I don't have to dive, I won't have any problems."

"I wouldn't trust him either," Chester said, abruptly emerging from Mike. "He's the ninny who got us booted off last season!"

"You do have an outstanding record of treason, soldier," Brick admitted.

"Ugh, fine! Let Sierra do it, whatever," Scott finally said.

I got kind of...distracted last time I played," Sierra admitted. "But now I don't have Cody to distract me, and this is clearly going to be filled with references to past seasons, so I'll know exactly what to expect." After she said, this, her face went from confident and smiling to sad and frowning. "I don't...have Cody..." She burst into tears. "Cody!"

With that, the teams dispersed to put on their swimwear and let the drivers take their places at the baby carriages. Zoey wasted no time in finding Mike and started talking to him. "Well, this will be an interesting season, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I just hope Chris doesn't keep interrupting me," Mike said rolling his eyes. "And also, of course, I hope we can both make it to the merge. Then we can team up and have a real friendship finale."

"That's what I was thinking!" Zoey said excitedly.

"I guess great minds think alike," Mike said sheepishly.

All of a sudden, Izzy ran up to them and crashed their reunion. "Hey, you're Multiple Mike, right?"

"I, uh, don't know how I feel being called that, but ye-"

"I have multiple personalities too, so we're like, totally on the same wavelength, yanno?" While she said this, she made all sorts of hand gestures that Mike couldn't understand and frankly, he wasn't sure some of them were suitable for TV.

"Well, I don't-"

"You can meet them if you want! There's E-scope, there's Brainzilla, who doesn't talk much anymore, there's Explosivo, and-"

"Izzy, look," Mike said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I appreciate it, but what you're talking about isn't really the same thing and I'm actually kind of offended that you're acting like it is."

Izzy looked unaffected. "So...I'll take that as a 'I wanna meet Explosivo first'?"

Before Mike could respond, Chester came out again and took the wheel. "Take it as a scram!"

Izzy frowned and turned away.

"I feel kind of bad for what Chester said to Izzy, but you can't pretend to have what I have and call it the same thing. Trust me, if I was playing pretend, I would have 'pretended' to get rid of all of these guys—uh, and gal, years ago."

Eva left the changing cabin in her swimsuit and started making her way back to the cliff. Brick caught up with her and tried to strike up a conversation. "Uh, greetings, ma'am."

"What do you want?" Eva snapped.

"Whoa now, I just wanted to say hello, and maybe make a new friend?"

Eva stopped in her tracks. "Hold it, you...want to be my friend?"

"Well, last year, I didn't really get off to a good start with Jo, and you remind me a lot of her, so I thought maybe this is my second chance to make a friend who shares my interests," Brick explained.

"I see," Eva said.

"So...wanna race to the cliff?"

After a moment, Eva's eyes narrowed. "Oh, it is on."

"I think my need to be large and in charge is what hurt me the most last season," Brick said. "Besides the bowling ball to the face, that is. But this season, I'm not going to try to be better than Eva or Jo. I'm going to try to get on their good sides so we can make an invincible team. That is, if they have good sides..."

Heather made her way to the cliff in her swimwear, followed a little too closely by the drama machine. "Ugh, I said stay away from me you tin can! I swear, if this hunk of junk is controlled by Chris or an intern, I'm going to throw him off the cliff instead. Make him find his own dang keys."

Jo caught up with her and pushed her aside as she ran full out to the beach at the bottom of the cliff. "Move it, old Heather!"

Heather stumbled and nearly fell flat on her butt, but the drama machine broke her fall. "Hey, watch where you're going, newbie!"

"I don't know what her problem is, but that Jo girl has had it out for me the second I got on this island. She is so going down if she thinks she can out-Heather Heather."

Finally, everyone was gathered. Sierra and Jo at the bottom with two baby carriages, and everyone else atop Wawanakwa's signature cliff. "Aw yeah, sha-first, baby!" Lightning gloated.

"You didn't even change into your swimsuit," Scott accused.

"Yeah, so I could get up here first."

"It's not a race to the top, doofus," Duncan shot. "It's a race to find the keys, remember?"

"Psh, of course I remember. I just need to win every victory I can, even the little ones."

"That Lightning guy is a total-" Duncan started.

"Champion!" Lightning finished in his own confessional and for the sake of the show staying on the air.

Chris descended upon the carriage pushers using his jetpack. "Here are your carts. Radical red for the Condors, and gnarly green for the Gophers. Just so you know."

"Got it," Sierra and Jo said at the same time.

He then flew up to the contestants. "Get ready! Because in just a few short moments, those sharks are gonna be tasting teenage behind."

Scott looked over the cliff to find his dreaded arch-nemesis: Fang. "Oh no! Not Fang!" He started crying.

"Who?" Noah asked, chancing a look over the edge at the mutated shark.

"Who's the best key spotter?" Chris asked. "And who's dead in the shark-infested water? Find out when we return on Total. Drama. All Stars!"

"Places, places," Chris called. "It's diving time! One diver per team at a time. The next diver must wait until their team's carriage returns." Chris pulled an air horn out of his pocket. "Ready? Set? Go!" The air horn sounded and Lightning ran confidently towards the cliff.

"Woo hoo! Lightning strikes!"

Brick ran after him, nervous to dive into the water but eager to impress his team. "Here we go!"

Lightning splashed down right on Fang's head, dragging him under the water with him. Brick splashed in right after him, but Lightning surfaced holding a golden, triangle shaped key almost immediately. He jumped into his team's stroller and cheered Jo on. "Let's go unlock the big house!"

Brick came up with a silver, circular key and made his way to Sierra's carriage. "And the condors take the lead," Chris commentated.

"Let's go, soldier!" Brick commanded. Sierra nodded and they were off to the spa hotel.

Meanwhile, Jo was making an attempt at reasoning with Lightning. "Okay Jockstrap, I know you don't like me, and I definitely don't like you, but we're the strongest players on our team. Let's at least try to stay out of each others way until the merge, alright?"

"Fine," Lightning agreed. "But then it's every champion for himself."

"I thought you already knew I'm a girl."

"Yeah, I said himself because I don't think you're gonna make it."

"Are you saying we're going to lose even once before then?" Jo accused.

Lightning thought about that, but before he could respond, Jo stopped abruptly in front of the spa hotel, throwing Lightning out of his carriage. "Hey! You did that on purpose."

"Unlock the door!" Jo yelled.

"Oh, right." Lightning ran up to the door and stuck the key in, but he couldn't turn it.

"Great, Brightning over here picked the wrong key," Jo complained. "Quick, jump in the stroller so we can get back to our team."

And with that, Team Condor was out of there right as Brick and Sierra were pulling up.

"Catch ya later, Brick-for-Brains!" Jo taunted.

Brick leapt out of the carriage and shoved the key into the lock. "Dag nabbit, this one won't fit. Turn around, turn around!"

Meanwhile, at the cliff, Duncan waited eagerly for Jo and Lightning to get back. "Come on, come on." When he saw them draw near the beach, he dived in and grabbed a key. He narrowly avoided Fang and made it into the carriage as Lightning was jumping out. "Roll out, new girl."

Brick and Sierra rolled up which was Mike's cue to jump. "This sounds like a job for..." He inhaled deeply and struck a pose. His next words were high pitched and spoken in a Russian accent.

"Svetlana!" She dived off the cliff, landed on Fang's nose with her tippy toes, and slipped into the water. She grabbed a key shaped like a head and jumped out of the water, directly into the basket. "Onward, comrade!"

Sierra gasped at the key Svetlana was holding. "Oh em gee, that key looks just like my Cody-kins!"

"Your what?" Svetlana gasped and became Mike again.

"What? Why aren't we going, Sierra?"

"I wanna keep this key! It looks just like Cody..."

"We need to test it on the lock, Sierra," Mike said.

"No, I'm not letting Key-Cody out of my sight!"

Mike sighed. "Chris? Can we get someone else to dive? Sierra won't cough up the key."

Chris shrugged. "It looks like it's too small anyway. So if you can get your next in line to jump, sure." He pointed at the scene unfolding with the rest of the Gophers. Scott was clinging for dear life to a rock and Geoff and Eva were trying to get him to jump.

"Oh dear.." Mike sighed.

Meanwhile, Jo was still trying to intimidate her team. "Listen up, short pants. I run this team, alright? Get in my way, and I will single-handedly make your life a walking nightmare."

"Not that I wanna be in charge," Duncan started, "but don't even try the intimidation route. I've seen the worst juvie has to offer, and you are definitely not on that level." At this point, they had reached the house. Duncan tried unlocking the door, but the key stuck fast. "No use."

"Nice job picking the wrong key, Dudcan," Jo goaded.

"Hey, next time you try diving, huh?" And with that, they were off back to the cliff.

Which was where Scott was still kicking and screaming, begging someone else to take the dive. The drama machine was dangerously close to the cliff for some reason, and Scott's legs were flailing dangerously close to the drama machine. When Jo and Duncan stopped at the beach, one of Scott's legs knocked the robot clear over the edge of the cliff before the Condors could decide who was diving next. The robot beeped frantically as it plummeted into the water below. It splashed down and Heather chuckled.

"So long and good riddance, you creepy bag of bolts."

Beneath the water, the robot hit the bottom of the water and the sharks latched on, chewing on its every robotic limb. The machine started short circuiting and the sharks nervously stopped chewing on it. The robot exploded, sending lots of shrapnel, three sharks, several dials, and one in tact Alejandro flying everywhere. Alejandro spiraled into the air flawlessly, sporting a toothy grin and a key in one hand.

Everyone on land (except for Chris of course) gasped at Alejandro's appearance, but no one was more shocked than Heather. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Oh, great," Noah said in his first All Stars confessional, "turns out the robot was an eel all along."

Alejandro, raggedy with burned clothes, a nearly full beard, bags under his eyes, and limp legs sat on the confessional. "The last thing I remember was being burned to a crisp by the volcano. And that was when Chris sealed me up in that robot suit to 'heal.' Oh, it feels so good to be free after all this time. I must thank Scott sometime for his cowardice, even if he is on the other team."

Alejandro landed on the beach and his legs immediately failed him, sending him into a faceplant. "Ow...my legs. They're asleep. Macho girl, carry me."

Jo grabbed him and tossed him into the stroller before racing toward the spa house. In moments, she was hefting him up again to take him up the front steps, while Scott was still firmly on land. The key fit in the hole as if it was made for it, and when Alejandro turned it, he proved that it was indeed made for it. The door opened and Jo cheered. Chris flew up to the winning combo at the spa house and excitedly declared, "The door is open! The condors win!"

Night fell on the island, and in the campfire pit, the seven remaining members of the Generic Gophers gathered. "Welcome to our first elimination ceremony," Chris said. "Now, with a new peanut gallery, where the winning team can watch the losing team send a sucker home before they get their deluxe dinner at the spa hotel." Like he said, the Victorious Condors sat in the peanut gallery. Heather was notably not on the same end that Alejandro was.

"Now before we start, I need one Condor to volunteer for a special reward."

Without hesitation, Lightning slid to a stop in front of Chris. "Sha-Lightning!"

"Awesome," Chris smiled. "Your reward is spending the night in exile on Boney Island!"

"What? How is that a reward? That's not how you reward your star player," Lightning complained.

"Because there's a McLean invincibility statue hidden somewhere on Boney Island. Just like last season, if you find it, you're safe from one, count it, one elimination." With that, Chef escorted Lightning away. "Now, this year, you're going to vote for who goes home by placing an X on the eight-by-ten photo of the person you want to eliminate. Now get voting."

Sierra sat in the confessional with a red pen and a picture. "I'm voting for Scott. He purposefully lost us the challenge, just like in season four. I knew you can't teach old dogs new tricks."

Scott marked off a picture before showing it to the camera. "I'm voting for Sierra. She kept a key and stopped us from being able to keep playing. That girl ain't right, I tell you."

Chris held aloft a plate with six marshmallows on it. "Now you know the drill. I hold on this plate six marshmallows. The one of you who does not receive one is going home. And you can never come back. Ever. The following people are safe: Brick, Mike, Geoff, Eva, and Noah." Once the treats were passed out, Sierra and Scott were left staring at the lone marshmallow on Chris' plate. "Sierra. You held the team up when you found a key shaped like Cody."

"It was cute, okay?" Sierra sighed dramatically.

"Scott. You cost your team the victory by freeing Alejandro from his robotic prison...I mean cast. With a history of throwing challenges, that's not a good thing to start the season with."

Scott gulped. "There were sharks!"

"And the final marshmallow goes to..."

Scott and Sierra looked at each other nervously. "Sierra." Sierra caught her marshmallow and squealed in excitement.

"Yay! I did it I did it!"

"What?" Scott asked, standing up and throwing his hands up in frustration. "Why me?"

"You know why, challenge thrower," Sierra snapped.

Scott fell to his knees in front of Chris. "Please don't make me ride the catapult thingy."

"Don't worry, you have a safer way home this time," Chris assured him. "Time to check under that tarp from the beginning of the episode."

Moments later, Scott sat in the middle of a giant, dirty toilet bowl and Chris and the rest of his team stood on the dock.

"Behold," Chris said. "The flush of shame."

"Ick, this is hardly better..." Scott grumbled.

"Hey, I could be throwing Fang in there with ya. Instead, it'll just be Sam."

Sam jumped in the toilet next to Scott and settled in. "Hey there flush buddy. Heheh."

"Don't cross the streams, you two," Chris teased. "Time to say goodbye."

"Are you sure about this, Sam?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I don't need a million dollars if there's no mutants involved," Sam shrugged. "Besides, I'm on the final level of Samurai Princess 13, and I'd hate to have Chris take it away from me at this point. I'm just getting to the part where Samurai Princess faces off against Laser Ninja."

"Scott, any last words?"

"This would have ended different if you would have let me drive!" Scott tried to yell, but Chris pressing a red button flushed the toilet, and the rest of Scott's sentence out with water. The flush caused a wave to wash over everyone on the dock except Chris, who brought an umbrella.

"I sure hope those two at the same time don't clog it," Chef said.

"It wouldn't do that in the first episode of the season. This baby's brand new."

"Then why is it already dirty?" Geoff asked.

Chris thought for a moment. "Maybe the yeti got to it. I'm not sure."

The gophers let out a resounding "ew."

"Who will be flushed into the history books next? Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama. All Stars!"