Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter ;(

This is my first serious (Sirius) fanfiction so please be nice! This is also part of one of my what if's which I got inspired to write a whole story to. It will start making sense soon so stay tuned! I added lot's of Harry's humour and sarcasm because he is actually pretty funny in the books so that inspired me. This may contain some Weasley and Hermione bashing but not too much to hate the story. May contain mild gore.

Tags: !Angry Sarcastic Funny Harry, Umbridge bashing, Canon, What If, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Gryffindor Fifth Years, Blood Quill, Fred and George, Weasley, Ginny, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan

"Hem hem!"

"Good morning class!"

"Good morning Professor Umbridge!" After a few weeks, they were used to the drill of chorusing back to her.

"Today we will continue studying theory but please head to the back of class!" Ron Harry and Hermione gave each other strange looks as they stood next to each other.

"We are going to change the seating plan so when I call your name you sit where I instruct you to, with no interruptions" She emphasised smiling sickly particularly at the Gryffindors.

" Thomas and Bulstrode"... This list went on until their were half the class still standing. Hermione and Ron were both obviously paired up with Slytherins, Hermione with Pansy and Ron with Crabbe.

"Potter and Malfoy" The two enemies look at each other in disgust as the whole class stared at them with mouth's wide open.

"But Professor-"

"No but's Draco, it's for the best"

"You better watch yourself mental patient"

"Shut up"

The only good thing about sitting next to Malfoy was that Hermione was to his right and Ron was behind him. Hermione gave him a smile with empathy written all over it and Umbridge droned on about the use of theory.

"Potter why is an example of theory?" She asked 'sweetly'.

He pretended to be deep in thought "Hmm maybe that no one likes you?" he mocked in an accurate manner and gave her a fake smile. The Gryffindor's apart from Seamus hid their laughter, even Hermione seemed hit upon. Malfoy and his cronies looked at him and scowled menacingly. Umbridge's smile was distant but she regained her posture.

Harry pumped his fist in the air as everyone continued to attempt reading this extremely boring passage. Umbridge ignored him purposely and he began waving both his hands to get her attention. Every eye turned on him like they did with Hermione a lesson ago.

With all the waving he was doing his elbow knocked the ink pot all over Malfoy's book and front. He turned his head and glared furiously at the Gryffindor.

Harry laughed while the Gryffindor's looked with amusement at the scene.

"You animal!" This only made him laugh more at how his uniform was completely drenched with ink at the front.

He raised his fist again with a second attempt and finally caught her attention.

"This git needs another quill" Pointing to Malfoy.

"Then I'm sure Mr Malfoy can ask for one himself"

"Tell me Professor are you deaf?" Once again their mouths opened with disbelief.

"What?"

"I was correct! Now if you will excuse me I'm going to actually learn something useful" He got up with lot's of mouth still hanging open to catch flies.

"50 points will be taken away for Truancy and you will be receiving longer and extra detentions for a month!" Umbridge said hurriedly in one breath.

He raised his middle finger and closed the door loudly.

Everyone looked at his retreating back wth wide eyes, Professor Umbridge smiled hidden at the thought of what to do to the brat in detention. Hermione stared at her 'this can't be good, you idiot Harry!'

"Hem hem! Continue reading class!" She said as if a student just didn't truant out of class. Malfoy was still scowling at his splattered robes with disapproval.

Harry took two long strides at a time up the Grand Staircase with a library book in his hand while in deep thought.

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia" He answered before the Fat Lady could ask him what he was doing.

Harry plonked himself on one of the overstuffed chairs and began reading while practising wand flicks, why should he follow Umbridge's theory work? When will that help him in a battle outside? He flicked the page roughly with anger. before he knew it the book he was reading upwards while he layed on his back covered his face so onl his jet black messy hair was visible.

"I can't believe he just did that!" The Gryffindors chatted animatedly.

"He's brilliant he is" Ron laughed but was immediately silenced by an annoyed looking Hermione.

"Did you see the look Umbridge gave him after he left? I think I know what's she's planning"

They stumbled through the portrait and Hermione scanned for Harry and found him buried under a few books. She punched on his shoulder roughly and looked at him annoyingly.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He protested, his vivid green eyes stared at his friends.

"For being a prat!" He pouted.

Ron laughed humorously still not over the fact he just embarrassed a teacher shamelessly and just walked off.

"I think she deserved it maybe that no one likes you?" Ron laughed and he grinned.

"This is serious! Didn't you see the look Umbridge gave when you left? I think your detention is going to be worse!" She said worriedly while looking at the marks of I must not tell lies engraved on his skin.

"That reminds me, I need to go!"