Well hello there! This a random dialogue only drabble crack fic we accidentally wrote after spending too much time on SW confessions. I hope you like it!
"OWEWE PADMÉ OW. STOP GRABBING MY HAIR! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!"
"Sorry! It's just- right there!"
"Well try grabbing the bedsheets!"
"WHY SHOULD I?"
"We clearly didn't think this through. It's better than you grabbing my padawan braid though"
"Apparently not!"
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GRAB THE BEDSHEETS! OBI-WAN DOESN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS!"
"How would you know THAT?!"
"Well he isn't MARRIED! Ow-Ow-OWEWWW LET GO! WE HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED DISCUSSING THIS YET!"
"Just shut up Anakin"
"Padmé, explain to me what is so unappealing to you about grabbing the bedsheets?"
"Bedsheets aren't so exciting. Or talkative"
"And you can't have sex with bedsheets"
"Exactly"
"I think. Sometimes when I'm at the temple I hear Obi-Wan trying to. Unless there's someone in there"
"Thanks Anakin... I really needed to know that about Obi-Wan"
"Who could be in there?"
"WHO ASKS SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR SEX LIFE?! THAT'S JUST ODD?"
"THEN WHY DO YOU CARE?!"
"I'M CONCERNED ABOUT MY MASTER."
"THEN GROW A PAIR AND ASK HIM IF HE'S OKAY"
"I HAVE BALLS! YOU ARE STARING AT THEM"
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN"
"OWWWW PADMÉ! HAVE WE DISCUSSED THE PULLING OF MY HAIR?"
"I'm going to keep doing it! GET USED TO IT"
"WELL IT'S HARD TO WHEN OBI-WAN DOESN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!"
"WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"
"EVERYTHING. HE WOULDN'T BE PULLING MY HAIR DURING SEX!"
"You disgust me sometimes."
"Bedsheets don't pull your hair."
"They don't kiss either!"
"But they don't get pissed when you bring up your former master's sex habits."
"WTF ANAKIN?! Just... Get out if you're going to be like this."
"YOU CANT KICK ME OUT! I HAVE SOFT HAIR!"
"BUT YOU WHINE ABOUT OBI-WAN THE ENTIRE TIME!"
"I'm just concerned for him."
"Then go spend the night with him if you're so worried! He's a grown man!"
"I'm not gonna have sex with my master, Padmé. I can't do two people in one night"
"Then shut up about Obi-Wan!"
Hope you all enjoyed!
SUPER FAB BAIL OUT!