Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author Note: Set after 'Spectre.' Contains some background hints of M/Moneypenny and Madeleine/Bond.
LITTLE ALLOWANCES
1. Gareth Mallory
"Good morning, Moneypenny."
"Good morning, sir. 007 is keen to see you."
M paused, "He's broken into my office again."
Eve's smile didn't even slightly twitch, "But he hasn't touched the scotch."
"Small mercies. I assume the locksmith's been called."
Eve nodded. "And Q's on his way up, he's got some ideas."
M turned sharply from his office door, hung his coat on the hatstand and left his bag on a nearby chair. His expression was genuinely pleased, it made Eve's smile uncurl a little more.
"He does have the most experience in dealing with 007's break-ins."
Eve's smile uncurled even more because 007 had almost certainly read Q's reactions to his various Q branch break-ins as encouraging flirting. Q was probably going to kill him one day, there was a particular gunpowder in progress that he was viciously proud of. Eve adjusted M's diary for the day accordingly – there was, after all, a Double-0 currently occupying his office.
M poured himself a cup of coffee and topped up Eve's morning cup, adding the splash of cream that she always preferred. Eve only nodded in thanks – James would no doubt be listening and Eve was never going to provide him with any ammunition, a Double-0 needed to be much more capable than that. M reached Eve's side of the desk; he was wearing a navy-blue suit with the tie clip that Eve had bought for his birthday. His aftershave was subtle; the one that always reminded Eve of Manchester. He hadn't had a manicure in weeks.
"How is the pool looking for when and how Q will remove 007?" he wanted to know, quiet enough not to be overheard.
Eve checked a spreadsheet that Q Branch had given her access to, "It reached three figures yesterday."
M hmmed and sipped his coffee, "I see Istanbul significantly affected some opinions."
"Mmmm, despite the rain."
At that point Q entered, wearing what looked like a bee-keeper's outfit. He was holding a large spray-can in his gloved hands and an expression full of anticipation. M didn't appear remotely surprised.
"Pest control."
Q's eyes glimmered, "I think you'll be satisfied with the service."
There was the slightest noise from M's office. M and Q exchanged matching glances; M put his coffee down so that he could sign. He knew enough thanks to his time in the service so his signing was brisk and perfunctory. Q's signing was the legacy of a deaf cousin and because he liked to thoroughly know as many languages as possible – his ASL knowledge had been very useful last year during a Glasgow case. So his signing was fluid and rapid and showed hints of impatience, unsurprisingly. In any case, it was very useful when dealing with 007 too.
This is the second time this month.
I'm certain he's been talking to Shawn.
Hardly a surprise.
How long has he been in there?
Eve signed before M could ask; Since before I arrived this morning.
She'd caught him outright a couple of weeks ago; when she'd been taking dispatches in for M to read as soon as he'd arrived. Now 007 thought he could successfully conceal his presence from Eve.
M's eyebrows raised ever so slightly, Q snorted, It's my turn to buy lunch.
Not Indian, Eve warned him.
Q's current favourite of London's Indian restaurants had been closed for a health violation. Q signed something sharply rude and reached for the door handle. Eve smiled; if 007 knew that Q, M and Eve semi-regularly ate lunch together, he'd find new ways to eavesdrop. As it was, M knew, like his predecessor, the importance of having a good relationship with his quartermaster. They agreed on quite a bit, including the frustration of dealing with 007.
So there was a semi-regular lunch, under the guise of a closed meeting so that no one knew what kind of cordial friendship existed. Because MI6 might breed paranoia but a lot of it was backed up by a just cause. Most in MI6 knew that Eve and Q were friends, but they didn't know the rest.
Eve had witnessed M laughing as Q had recounted some favourite Q Branch stories – he could do very amusing re-enactments using chopsticks and biscuit wrappers - and the two of them had talked about which series and cast of The Bill was deemed superior, who would have been recruited for MI6 and really, who would have kept their job, honestly, and what about Prime Suspect? It was a tonic.
It was endlessly amusing to Eve that 007 spent so much time trying to one-up Q and M – a useless quest really in that he won important battles but never knew what war was actually being so successfully won and hidden from him. Raising his spray-can, Q opened the door and marched into M's office.
M retrieved his coffee and sipped at it again, inspecting the spreadsheet still displayed on Eve's computer monitor.
"We'll sweep both offices once Q's finished."
"Sir."
He was a warm solid presence beside Eve and they both wore very similar expressions when they heard the sudden loud swearword-rich reaction from 007 once Q had evidently gotten to work. If 007 knew what M and Q talked about, if he knew about M's laugh and those frequent lunches...Eve would make sure that his reaction was recorded. M looked almost proud.
2. Security
It was a furiously cold morning and Q was late, no, wait, there he was, wrapped up in a blue scarf so long and voluminous that it almost covered his shoulders. Eve was smiling by the time Q reached her, despite how cold she was because he really did look ridiculous but on him, it did somehow work. He was such a hipster poster boy, something he'd deny streniously if ever brought up. It'd make a good parting shot when he was being really obstinate and M needed him to shift.
Q waved a hand slightly, clad in a fingerless glove, his face pink with cold, "The coffee machine."
"Say no more. How was the date?"
Q rolled his eyes as they started towards the MI6 building, "He has pet lizards."
"Lizards don't shed or cause allergies, usually."
"He lets them roam."
Eve laughed a little, "I can see how that might spoil things."
She took a look at his expression and laughed even more, "And you're going to see him again."
Q gave her loaded sideways glance, "Use yours powers for good, not evil."
"Oh, she's using her powers again then?"
That was Kev, the security man on duty outside, layered up for the cold and still somehow cheerful. His eyes were twinkling, Eve was surprised that his moustache wasn't touched by frost. It really was that cold. She smiled.
"Guilty, apparently."
Kev laughed, "One of these days, Miss..."
"Those days are here already," Q interjected though his eyes were smiling a bit at least.
Q was never enthusiastic about people but he enjoyed talking to Kev. In the face of Kev's genuine geniality and his ability to make small talk that wasn't infuriating, Q responded positively.
"And how was the date?" Kev continued.
Q shook his head, "There were pet lizards."
"So he hasn't got a problem with commitment."
"To a lizard."
Kev laughed at Q's withering expression and at how Q adjusted his scarf with a bit of irritation at it not doing what it was told. "Did you knit that thing yourself?"
Q sniffed, "I don't see what difference that makes."
Kev laughed and opened the door for them, "And I don't see what difference a few pet lizards make, have a good day."
Q began unwrapping the scarf once they were inside the much warmer lobby. Eve checked her phone for any emergency messages.
"It could be worse than lizards."
"He could have children," Q agreed, rolling the scarf up with considerable efficiency. "Drinks later?"
"And more details."
"I'll show you a picture of the lizards."
3. Bill Tanner
There was a little asterisk on Q's email calendar on the days that he had dinner with Bill and Bill's wife Sonia. M knew what it meant, as did Eve. She'd had dinner with Bill and Sonia once or twice before. They lived in a very nice London residence, their kids went to a good school, Sonia knew that Bill worked for an important government department that he couldn't discuss. She hadn't asked Eve any questions though. They'd been just nice enough nights so Eve was very surprised that Q spent evenings with the Tanners so often.
"They're both excellent cooks," he'd remarked once. "And I like their lounge."
Their lounge had been nicely furnished with particularly good taste in art but that was all Eve could say about it.
"They're very nice paintings," was all Q had offered when Eve had pointed this out.
It was all he'd say on the matter. Eve prodded him about it now and then, because really the Tanners were nice, friendly, and Q needed a lot more than that to voluntarily spend so much time with people, especially outside of work. Also his expressions when prodded were a wonderful thing, especially on a trying day. But Eve didn't press him. She wasn't 007.
4. Alec Trevelyan
Eve could hear them before she entered the new Q Branch. Alec was laughing and Q was shaking his head but Eve knew he was smiling. Alec Trevelyan – 006 – was very good company and he was good at causing Q to smile, in the midst of work, no less. It helped that he wasn't as presumptive as 007, he loomed a lot less and didn't spend nearly as much time trying to escape medical.
They both glanced up when Eve entered, an expectant look on her face. Q immediately checked the time and swore colourfully in two languages. Alec looked amused and impressed.
"Learned a few new ones I see."
"Geneva is always very instructive," Q replied distracted as he checked his bag and then grabbed his laptop, "Are they-?"
"M's tapdancing," Eve replied smoothly.
Alec laughed again, "Send me footage for Christmas."
"Stop pretending to be stupid," Q instructed, elbowing Alec out the way.
Then he called for Danielle, his second, to instruct her on what needed to be done in his absence. Alec watched for a few moments before turning his attention to Eve, throwing her something gold that rustled - a packet of expensive chocolates. Eve thanked him with a smile.
"How was Antigua?"
Alec smiled slowly, an expression full of nostalgic delight. "Energetic. Delicious."
Eve pocketed the chocolates, "I'll let you know."
Alec barked out a laugh. Gold chocolate wrappers were already scattered across Q's desk; it wouldn't be the first time that the quartermaster had been plied with gifts. Alec always bought something Q liked, because he always asked Q first. Because Alec was 006 and one of 007's best friends but he was also his own man and Q's friend too.
Q turned back from Danielle with a harassed expression that was all his own fault. He waved an annoyed hand towards Eve, "Yes, yes. I'm going."
"I want to hear more about that scuba design," Alec told him.
"Good to see you in one piece," Q replied, already on his way out the door without so much as a backward glance.
"Don't forget your 3pm with M," Eve added as she followed Q.
"Tapdancing," Alec replied, like a request.
Alec did it on purpose, acting the blunt instrument because he knew it would get a reaction from Q, sometimes it could draw Q out of a funk. He also knew that M was extremely versatile when the situation called for it, like when an entire meeting was waiting for Q to appear to present something he'd previously claimed could be ground-breaking for the services.
"The first round of drinks says that 007 hears about Alec giving you chocolates but not about the specs Alec 'accidentally liberated' for you along with the blueprints M actually sent him there for," Eve commented quietly.
"He buys me with science," Q replied in a monotone, betrayed slightly by the ting smug grin that followed.
5. Dr Madeleine Swann
Q arrived at Eve's desk just as Dr Swann's meeting with M was finishing. 007 was waiting as well, though for Dr Swann rather than M. There were purple flowers in a slim vase on Eve's desk, the latter a Christmas gift from M which he often refilled. He was learning. 007's expression became it's usual amused state around Q. Q ignored him and talked to Eve instead.
"008 should be able to begin his mission without any delays. I've emailed M but if you could-."
"Of course."
Eve offered him a sweet; there were still a couple left from Alec. Q took one immediately and unwrapped it without dropped his laptop.
"Give you enough chocolate and you could conquer the world, probably," 007 commented. "Or is that just with your morning tea?"
Q snorted, "I've already conquered the world twice this month, I'm surprised you haven't noticed."
"If you had, I'm sure the trains would be running on time," 007 replied.
A fair point; Q would be a dictator who made sure that everything was properly organised. Eve propped her chin up on her fist, just as M's office door opened and Dr Swann walked out. She paused when she saw who was waiting for her but did produce a small careful smile which was primarily directed towards Q.
"Thank you."
Q nodded briefly, "The left back door sticks a bit."
007 glanced between them with increased bemusement, "Are you selling cars now, quartermaster?"
Q's answering look was scalding, "Yes, 007, I have a website and everything. Do you think it might be a security risk?"
Eve didn't attempt to hide her smile. She offered Dr Swann a couple of thick files and a chocolate. Dr Swann took both, the latter with less hesitation than the former. Eve immediately retracted the chocolate packet when 007 reached for one too.
"Playing favourites, Moneypenny?"
"Looking for work, 007?" Eve replied in the same chiding tone.
M's voice carried from inside his office, "If you do have some time free, 007...?"
There was a minute pause and 007's expression only changed fractionally but it was there, caught and filed. Still, he replied, "Then I'm sure I'd be buying a car from Q."
"His rates are reasonable for MI6 employees. Moneypenny."
Eve stood at the summons and nodded at Dr Swann, who nodded back. They both knew that James Bond took a lot of unpicking and decoding, a lot of handling. Dr Swann had Q's number and she had Eve's too, officially for if she decided to reconsider M's job offers.
Eve could hear the conversation continuing behind her as she approached M's office.
"I enjoyed the last book," that was Dr Swann and she sounded genuine.
Q responded. "I liked the third of your recommendations, I don't know why. It's not my usual genre."
"I'm glad."
Bond interrupted, "Those chocolates aren't available in London."
"The internet, 007, I have mentioned it before."
"Alec was in Antigua recently."
"Well, I'm sure he'll be returning again at some point, if you ask him nicely..."
"Did you?"
"He doesn't interrupt my work, 007. He actually makes appointments. And he doesn't ask for exploding stationary."
When Eve closed the office door, she handed M an Antigua chocolate and thought about the YouTube links to tapdancing videos that Alec had sent her recently. M accepted the chocolate.
-the end