Alright, I'm running the risk of writing an over-used plot. But, I'm doing it anyway. Catherine is Hermione's friend, its not overly important who she is, just that she's a Muggle, and Hermione's age. I'm thinking more of an Aunt who is the same age. In any case, I feel that Hermione must get sick of being the only person in their little group who has lived a normal Muggle life prior to Hogwarts (Harry's life was far from normal.) I am an American, so I appologize in advance if I offend anyone with my attempts to sound British. Anyway, on with the show.

September 4

Dear Catherine,

As you very well may know, I am attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry. I am at the top of my class. And I know the eight uses of crow feet.

I do not, however, know the difference between a Quaffle and an immobilized Bludger.

This has recently caused me much consternation. But let me begin at the beginning (why does that sound cliché?)

We (we being Harry, Ron, Ginny and I) were on the train to Hogwarts, anticipating the beginning of the new year. Well, Harry, Ron and Ginny were pretending to loathe the idea, but really, who HATES school? They just pretend. I know that they looooove the whole thing. Who wouldn't? In any case, we were merrily watching the scenery fly by, when Draco Malfoy (the dolt who keeps insulting me) decided to grace us with his presence. He's never quite forgiven me for punching him in our third year. Well, he walks in and begins his inane, over-used insults. Really. That whole Potty and Weasel thing wasn't funny the first time. Perhaps I'm biased, but even Crabbe has to force a laugh, and that boy laughs at everything, including his reflection (he hasn't quite figured out how mirrors work.) But I digress. Malfoy insults us per usual, at which point Ron jumps out of his seat to curse Malfoy, but Ron hasn't paid attention to a single class in the last five years of our education, and I doubt the next two will be any different. Well, Ron is standing there with his wand at the ready, mouth open, and he looks at me!

"Er, Hermione?"

I stared at him.

"Know any good ones?"

By this time, Malfoy was reaching for his wand because, even if he is a dolt, he's not a moron.

"Really, Ronald..." I sighed, pulled out my wand and pointed it at Malfoy "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

However, at this point, Neville Longbottom had pushed his way into the compartment and shoved Malfoy to the side in order to show us all his brand new Quidditch set. It was his Quidditch set that received the brunt of the spell, though Neville fell over and Malfoy did lose all feeling in his right arm. He didn't notice, because he was laughing his head off. Harry head butted him back into the corridor and then locked the door.

Neville looked up at me brokenhearted "My Grams bought that for me...for my bravery last spring...She'll kill me!"

Ginny patted him on the shoulder awkwardly "Its going to be alright, Neville, its just a spell. Hermione can fix it."

I sighed and knelt before the chest. I opened the straps and pulled out two similar balls. "Finite-"

"Er, Hermione?"

"What Ron?" I snapped.

"That's a Bludger."

"No, Ron, it isn't."

"Actually, Hermione," Harry spoke up, "Ron is right."

My face turned red. I really had no idea if they were right or not, but I was NOT about to be shown up by someone who can't remember a SIMPLE hex! I gritted my teeth and glared at the two of them. I noticed that Ginny was seating herself in a far corner. "FINITE INCANTATEM!"

Well, Neville got a bloody nose and Ron has a rather large lump on the back of his head. Its not as if I told the Bludger to hit him. And Harry did shout at him to duck. Just because he has slow reflexes...

In any case, Ron isn't speaking to me, and Harry has had to leave the Great Hall on numerous occasions to avoid a laughing fit. Ron is a terrible pouter, especially when it looks like he has another head sprouting from his abnormally thick one. (That was Ginny's observation, not mine.)

Besides that, classes are going well. We've a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, an American named Professor Wimblebop. She's a very...hyper...woman. I think she may have been some sort of cheerleader in the United States...the Lakers?

Well, I have a Snape essay to do, its due in three days, so hurry, hurry, hurry!

Always,

Hermione

September 6th

Dear Hermione,

My parents were extremely unnerved by the large owl that landed in my father's oatmeal. Don't worry, I washed him off. The owl, not my father.

If it helps any, I haven't the faintest idea what "Quidditch" is. Though, it sounds awful if you can hurt some one without actually playing. Though Hermione, I must admit, you were never an athletic type of person...even playing normal sports, like Frisbee.

This Ron sounds like a prat. The rest of them sound nice enough though. Except for Malfoy, of course. Who is Ginny?

How are your classes going? I'm quite sure they are much more interesting than mine. In Biology, Marsha Herndale threw a pickled radiated pig out the window, protesting cruelty to animals. I think that she just wanted to avoid having to dissect it.

The strangest thing happened the other day. A very cheeky blonde fellow showed up at your flat, and demanded to talk to your parents. (They're at a floss convention, I don't know if they mentioned, they didn't want to upset you because you were missing it.) Well, I was there feeding your fish, Melvin, and I told him that they were round at the shops. So, he comes in and sits on your couch! I mean really, the nerve. I told him I'd call the police on him, but he didn't seem very convinced. After about five minutes he got up, mumbled something about "The things I do to please the Lord..." I think he might have been one of those pamphlet hander-outers.

I must admit, Hermione, I am shocked that your parents even allowed you to attend Hogwarts. They were so hopeful that you'd become a dental hygienist so that they could fire that lazy woman in their office, and make it the Granger Family Dentist. GFD, you know. Your mum was already picking out polo shirts to have the name embroidered on.

I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing...

Love and kisses,

Catherine

P.S. I like using crow feet as a garnish on my grilled chicken...