This is a WIP by the website frequenters of the link on the profile page. Anyone can play, should they be demented enough to want to...
Rules;
you have to work with the info that came before, but that is pretty
much the only stipulation of that nature. Miraculous recoveries,
totally OOC moments, and flashbacks to when people were alive is all
good. No worries.
The
only other things- keep it shortish, to about a paragraph, so no one
idea takes over. You also can't post unless at least one person has
posted since your last.
Have fun.
A
SINGLE PERFECT TEAR: BY THE HARDLINE TAVERN.
(AKA: OMG,
they killed Trinity! But not, as yet, a SouthPark crossover.)
A
single tear rolled mournfully down his cheek as he remembered making
love to Trinity that fateful last night.
"I
will always love you, Trin baby" he whispered as the tear
sploshed onto the grave. He bent over and kissed it before carefully
placing a single perfect rose on it: as perfect as she was.
"I
will keep your memory alive in Baby Morpheus," he whispered
fiercely, "and he will grow up to hate Ghost as much as I do for
what he did!"
(Two by Spin)
Diamond
Crystal Marie shook back her flowing golden hair, and manoevered her
lithe and athletic 16-year old body into the chair in front of her
computer. Her parents were away for the weekend, so it was time to
get into some serious hacking.
Diamond
Crystal Marie, despite her angelic appearance, is the most
established hacker on the planet. She prepares to log in and cause
some serious damage. Her mother knocks on the door.
"Andrea,
would you like a sandwich?"
"No,
Mom." She sighed delicately, and set her creamy slim hands on
the keyboard. Her parents just didn't understand her. They didn't
understand that she thought about important things. Like the Matrix.
Suddenly
an IM from BehindTheMirror popped up on her screen.
"Hello
Diamond Crystal Marie" the window read.
"Who
are you?" she typed.
"I'm
a friend" the window responded.
"You're
Neo," She typed. "I just know. I always know."
(Three by Storm Troll)
Neo couldn't help but flashback to the cemetery as he replied to Diamond.
[This is a flashback. Cue Wangsty music...]
"Neo..."That voice."Trin, is that you?" He turned.There she was only she glittered faintly blue, in the way a magic 8-ball wouldn't."Neo..I am the ghost of Trinity, I've come back with a warning!""What is it?" He was shocked. He hadn't foreseen this."You must find the diamond in the rough, only she can help you against the terrible darkness that is coming.."She faded, and he collapsed on the ground sobbing, and pondering what she had meant.(Four by Impromptu Requiem)
Suddenly,
Ghost quietly ran into the room. Ghost, who loved Trinity, the
coolest girl ever. The smartest, the brightest, and the prettiest.
She had been growing her beautiful hair out at the end, making her
even prettier. Ghost missed that the most.
Ghost shouted in a
calm manner, "How dare you Neo! I know Zen and what you said to
Baby Morpheus! I hate you too!"
He ran at Neo, who was
still grieving over Trinity, shattered by her apparition. Neo, using
his magical powers, flew around the room and kicked Ghost's ass. Then
Neo stuttered. When he wasn't saving the world, he was rather dorky.
But cute.
"I'm sorry, Ghost, what did you want?"
"I
just realized you loved Trinity! It suddenly makes sense. I can never
trust you!"
The electricity crackled in the room as the
two men who loved Trinity, the lady of the Matrix, more than their
own lives, glared at each other to the core of their beings. Neo
sensed Trinity's presence from beyond death, comforting and soothing
him.
Meanwhile, Diamond waited expectantly at the other end,
batting her eyelashes in anticipation....
(Five by tamsin)
"Oh
my God," Neo cried suddenly, "I forgot, I was in the middle
of an important IM!"
Grief does funny things to you, he
reflected sadly.
"You're Neo," She had typed. "I
just know. I always know."
She was so clever, he
thought. Just like Trinity was clever. Neo wasn't very clever and he
was a bit dorky, but he was the One, and that made up for a
lot.
"You are in danger" he typed.
"I
know," she put. She was getting a bit annoyed. "The Matrix
has me and I am the best hacker alive, which is very sad as it means
Trinity is not. "
Tact was not her strong point.
Neo
felt tears well up. "I miss her," he typed.
"I'm
very sorry to hear that, she seemed very nice in the film."
Diamond politely replied. "Now, do I need to follow the white
rabbit?"
"How did you know!!!"
(Six by Alina Kalime)
Diamond: Like, duh! I'm psychic!
Neo
looks around scardidly. Wondering where the voice had come from,
since Diamond had yet to type more in their chat.
Neo:
Whoa! Gag me with a spoon! So you can see the futuyre an stuyff?
Diamond:
Yea! And I can be a disembodied voice, and can see the figure of the
future, and cast magic spells and stuff!
Dramatic
music starts to play out of nowheere as Diamond suddenly appears in
front of Neo in a pure white flowing dress (an: Think of the one that
Arwen chick wears!). Her skin was glowing white and pale and soft as
a baby's skin, her eyes big and blue, surrounded by pretty lashes.
Her hair had been preened by swans and washed with that hawafena
herbal essences stuff, so it smelled nice and that was the first
thing Neo noticed.
(Seven by Storm Troll)
Then
like, outta nowhere Agent Hairy Stu appeared. He was a reely bad guy.
Reely bad. Bad. Get it?
"I've
come to cleean ze poo-el!" He screamed as he leapt to attack
Diamond. But Neo was too quick for him.
"Why are you here!"
"I'm the bad guy in the plot. I'm here to make bad thing happen! And get my revenge for when you and Morpheus gang raped me like a pack of rabid prepubesant fan girls!"
Neo was shocked. Again.
"I don't remember that."
Diamond: Neo! Nooooooooo......!
[To be continued]
(Eight by Impromptu Requiem)
If
it's over let it go and
I'm in the real world now. Neo is so
hot. And dorky (an its from her point of view!!) Agent Smith is weird
too. Ew this room is so dark.
So yesterday
I left the real world. My cellphone, my computer, my closets, my eyeshadow. I was having the best chat with Captain Dayity. She uses the best leet.
So yesterday
I can do this. Agent Smith will hurt my beloved Neo!! We are meant to be -and I know how to fight, I watched the movies!
I'm just a bird
I'm watching on the side. Ghost said he loved Agent Smith! Omg, Neo is jealous of Ghost! No wait, they both like me! it's ok if he likes Ghost because Neo is cuter.
Thats already flown away
My new life. Bring it on. I can't wait to fly around. Free my mind beats up Agent Smith (an I suck at sports so I didn't write the fight, but imagine her kicking more ass than Neo cause of girlpower!!!)
Omg, Neo just proposed to me! He gave me a rose. And Ghost gave me a book!
(Eight by Empathy)
"Omg,
Neo, do you really want to marry me?"
"Of
course I do, my sexy vixen. Your beautiful cerulean eyes captivated
me from the first moment I saw you."
"Oh,
Neo. But what about Trinity?"
Neo shook his head. Why was he being tortured with all these strange memories?
He took her hand and placed it over his heart. "Diamond Crystal Marie, I love you, and you are the only one who could ever take Trinity's place. This is what she would've wanted. She would want me to move on. You are so beautiful, with your golden hair cascading down your back, and your rosy cheeks and supple lips. I want to grow old with you, because you are my soul mate, and I can't bear the thought of living without you. I want to live with you on the prettiest street in Zion, and have a white picket fence and a robot dog, and we will grow old together. We will have children, and our children with have our children's children. We will call them Neo Jr, and Crystal, because that was your middle name in the real world, and another called Trinity, because without her I would have never found you. And maybe if I type long enough people won't really read all this sh1t that I'm writing, har har. Blah blah blah blah crap. Diamond Crystal Marie, will you make me the happiest man in the world and teach me how to love again? Will you mend my broken heart, that was shattered like the shards of the broken glass of the mirror to my soul?"
He handed her a single red rose, each petal more perfect than the last."Oh Neo," she gasped. "Nothing would make me happier!" They embraced, and kissed passionately, for what seemed like an eternity.
(Nine by Storm Troll)
Neo
kissed Diamond passionately, as though he were kissing Trin herself
(aww thats so sweet).
"Halt!
I can let this go no further!" A voice called from behind.
Neo
and Diamond turned and saw a figure in dark robes. He was holding a
flashlight.
"Who
are you?" they both asked.
"I
am Darth Caseus. The obligatory self-insertion crossover character.
And I am in love with Diamond, I will not let you have her! Kick your
ass I will."
Neo
pushed Diamond behind him into safety.
"Then
I shall fight you. For my Fu is stronger than your fu!"
Darth
Caseus pushed a button on his flashlight and an orange beam jumped
out of it.
"Don't
forget about me!" Ghost yelled from across the room.
(Ten by Lexie)
Neo stood protectively in front of his one true love, ready to take on anything to defend her life. It would be an honour to die for her.
And soon the two love-sick men were locked in a frightening looking battle, and Neo was losing badly."Neo!" Diamond wailed pitifully, her eyes welling with tears as Neo suffered another blow to the head. He could not die, he was her one true love. It would be a cruel kiss of fate if Neo died just as they found each other. She wanted to look away as Neo was beaten into a bloody pulp by the gratuitous crossover character, but she couldn't tear her wide sapphire eyes away from the gory battle being acted out in front of her...
Her long, silky golden hair fluttering behind her, Diamond dove in front of Neo just as Darth Caseus plunged his lightsaber tazer weapon towards Neo's torso...
(Eleven by Videl86)
Her
long, silky golden hair fluttering behind her, Diamond dove in front
of Neo just as Darth Caseus plunged his lightsaber tazer weapon
towards Neo's torso...
Neo
closed his eyes, awaiting the death that was about to befall him. For
alas he would never see his beloved Diamond again. The very thought
of this brought tears to Neo's eyes.
He
opened them again when he heard a scream and a yell of frustration.
What he saw just caused the tears to start flowing. Diamond lay on
the floor dead...
Once
the shock was over Neo charged at Darth Caseus with a scream of rage.
Just as he was about to give the evil crossover man a powerful right
hook a blinding light came forth from where Diamond lay.
Diamond
stood and walked over to where the men were engaged in combat. As she
finally got a good look at the evil man, she blinked. "I can see
in code." She stuttered.
"What?"
Neo asked shocked.
"I
can see in code." She said firmly.
(Twelve by Tamsin)
"No,"
Neo said crossly, "you can't. I can see in code because I am the
One. But this is the real world, so that's just stupid. No you can't,
and even in the Matrix, only I can. You're cute, but don't push it,
sweetheart."
"You're
very out of character." Diamond said tartly.
"I'm
in love with you, and Trinity's cool with it beyond the grave, and
Morpheus and I gang raped an agent. What's your damage?"
"Touche."
Ghost
suddenly appeared. "I just killed that Lord of the Sith,"
he casually observed. "You two seemed a bit distracted."
"Showoff,"
Neo muttered.
Diamond
glared at him. "That was very thoughtful, Ghost," she said
graciously, casting her lapis lazuli orbs in his direction and
tossing her silky golden locks over her shoulder.
Ghost
seemed taken by her. He stared for a moment, then simpered slightly.
"Hi," he said. "We've not met, I'm Ghost."
"Oh
God, not again." Neo said sourly. "Look, Mr Supporting
Cast, your job is to yearn after the unattainable and speak like a
fortune cookie; whereas mine is to save the world and get laid.
Capische?"
A
cloud crossed Ghost's face. "Shut up, Neo," he said, "and
tell me- where's Baby Morpheus?"
Neo
went white. "Oh shit. Good question. Where is
Baby Morpheus?"
(Thirteen by Storm Troll)
"I
stole him." Cypher said, stepping out from behind some like
totally concealling rubble.
"But
Cypher, you're dead!" said everyone else, including You, the
reader.
"Well,
you're wrong, it was all a clever hoax."
"I
see." said Ghost, making himself not invisible again, and
pulling up his zipper. Being an Onanist is a full time job.
"What
have you done with my baby Cyper!" Neo growled, much like an
angry kitten.
"I
won't tell you, he's cunningly hidden, and you'll have to follow a
series of elaborate puzzels in order to..."
"Found
him!" Diamond yelled, showing everyone Baby Morpheus.
"WAit!
that's not him. Thats a bomb!" Neo cried!
(Fourteen by Spin)
Everyone's
eyes widened.
"Oh
no!" they chorused. "Not a bomb!!"
Diamond
dropped the bomb as if it was... something you would drop really
fast.
"Nooooooo!!!"
Neo wailed, and used his One powers to freeze it, because we've
suddenly entered a post-Reloaded universe. "What were you
thinking!"
Diamond's
full pink lips turned down into a pout.
"I'll
save you!" a deep voice bellowed out from the shadows of the
cave, and Tank stepped dramatically out of the shadows of the cave.
Ghost
raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you dead?"
Tank
shrugged. "The author really hates Link. And she likes my
eyebrows."
Diamond
nodded. "Yeah, you were definitely the coolest in the movies. I
wrote a fanfic where you and I got married." A rock shattered
above her head, and she flounced around. "Whhatt?"
Neo
waved his arms. "Helloooo people! BOMB!"
Tank
bent and quickly defused it. Everyone breathed a sigh of arcitonial
relief. Blooblen.
Cypher
grinned his evil Cypher grin. "Now that that's over and done
with, you can start on the puzzles. The first clue is... 'What is
very like a chicken, but not a chicken at all?"
(Fifteen by Impromptu Requiem)
"Why
is a raven like a writing desk?" Cypher asked.
Crystal
gasped and then pouted, knowing the answer, but wanted to politely
wait for Neo to answer. After all, he was the One, and he should know
the answer since there was Alice in Wonderland symbolism in the
film.
Neo looked puzzled. His eyebrows raised dramatically,
making his soft eyes tremble. Though he was in the real world, he
wore a long black trench, because his other cassock made him look too
girly, black pants, and a black shirt that accentuated his torso.
Crystal, breaking the mounting tension, replied, "I
learned this in Grade 10 English! It's right at the beginning of
Alice in Wonderland! My god, you raped enough ideas from the book,
you should know that." Startled by her outburst, she shrank
demurely. Then, feeling she was not acting empowering enough, she
ordered a shot of vodka and sternly looked at Neo.
Tank spoke
up cheerfully, trying to change the subject.
"Man, today
is a wonderful day -I am so glad you got rid of Link. I never knew
Zion had such good steak, considering no animals exist. This is happy
Tank speaking."
Neo stared at Crystal's luminous eyes
intently. Staring was something he did well.
"Crystal, my
dear, your brilliance amazes me. Trinity never liked to read. She was
angular and Baroque, though I mistook her hair for Rococo at one
point, but you are sensuous and represent the purest ideals of
Socialist Realism, German Expressionism, and Orientalism.
As
Crystal focused her twin glittering eyes upon Neo's face, she caught
sight of the Twins heading over to their table.
"Hello
Crystal. We are the Twins. You've heard of us since we are in the
fics that always get lots of reviews on You are an OC and we
are the twins with cool hair, so we will now carry you away for
Twincest."
(Sixteen by Spin)
Diamond
Crystal smiled mysteriously, and leaned forward. "Twincest,"
she purred. "Now that sounds exciting." Two extended his
strong, manly white hand, and pulled her to her feet. She giggled,
and flipped her silky hair.
Ghost glared, which made him look
even more constipated than usual, and Neo's bottom lip began to
tremble pitifully. He's very sensitive.
(Neo's POV)
As I
saw my new true love being stolen away from me, with apparently no
regard for my missing Baby Morpheus situation, it brought back
memories of my tragic past, and the loss of my other one true love.
Trinity. She was more perfect than perfection.
I felt as if
someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the heart as I remembered the
night that Trinity had been stolen away from me...
fade
into flashback
"Neo, come on! We're docking with the
Logos to help with maintence!"
Neo frowns at her. "God
Trinity, you're not the boss of me. I can take care of myself."
He sits down heavily on his bed, and petulantly begins tying his
boots.
"Don't be such a jerkface Neo! I spent all day
taking care of Baby Morpheus, and we just finished having really hot
sex, and now you're being mean to me! That's so uncool!"
"SHUT
UP" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
"FINE! she
shouted. "I'M GOING TO TALK TO GHOST!"
She slammed
the door, narrowly avoiding being hit in the head with his boot. He
stood and opened the door, and watched with eyes narrowed as she
stalked down the hall towards Ghost.....
(Seventeen by Tamsin)
TWO
DAYS LATER ON THE NEB.
"Hmm," thought Neo. "Trinity
has refused to speak to me for two whole days, despite the fact that
we are on a ship with only two other people and this could very
easily mean one of us dies without having resolved this stupid
squabble. What to do?"
He gazed at the goop, and in its
glutinous depths, an answer emerged. (Not a good one, so blame the
single celled protein.) "I know! Trinity is a resolutely
independent person with a very strong sense of self. We have a very
warm and mutually supportive relationship, and the thought of her
suffering in any way is more than I can bear. I shall therefore
proceed to beat the crap out of her as this will be really sexy and
she'll be desperate to shag like bunnies after. Woah."
He
was surprised that she was so passive about his violent efforts.
Later, as she lay sweetly smiling in his arms, he stroked the black
marks on her face and the swelling cuts. "Does that hurt?"
Neo said doubtfully.
"Yes," Trinity said happily.
"But in some warped teenage girl's mind, that makes it all the
more special and moving that we then made it up."
"I
always thought the only man who got to hit you and survive was an
Agent."
"Oh, yes. I mean, usually. When I'm in
character. But where's the fun in that? How can anyone Canon Mary Sue
if they need to trouble themselves with such minor details? Um...
while I'm on the subject- there is something I've always wanted to
do..."
(Eighteen by Storm Troll)
[Lyk
this chapta is rated R for Realy Hot SEx!!!!111!!11!]
Suddenly, in
the blink of a really fast eye, they were in the construct.
Trinity
was wearing bright blue, form fitting spandex and Neo felt his
innuendo rise to the occasion, causing the pleather bike shorts he
was wearing to crawl further up his buttocks.
"Trin! What
are you doing?!" He cried out in sudden extasy as she kicked him
in the groin.
"I'm just pandering to all the sick
fangirls out there who want to see me in hot, tight and most of all
transparent spandex, and want to see your skinny as being smacked
around by me! Bitch!"
She hit him with some kind of
fetish.
"Please Trin NO! It hurts, yet I feel so aroused.
Mistress."
Then I got too lazy to type the rest of what
happened, so:
[THEY HAD HOT, GREASY SEX. REALLY GREASY. AND
FULL OF SICK FETISHES. AND SPANKINGS. THEY ARE AKIN TO MAD BUNNIES,
DOING IT LIKE THIS WAS THEIR LAST NIGHT IN ZION.]
Meanwhile,
back at the Twin's Swinging Zion/Matrix pad....
(Nineteen by Bleak Reality)
Diamond
Crystal was held tightly between the Twins, like the meat in a
chickenloaf sandwich. Dredlocks tangled, and Twin1 hummed Evanescence
as he kissed the long line of Diamond Crystal's honey coloured
neck.
Suddenly Twin2 dissolved and reappeared at the door to the
Swingin Pad, motioning for the other two to stop moaning and listen.
Before Diamond Crystal could tear her amaranthine spheres (AN: that's
poetic language for eyes, in case ur stoopid) from Twin1's perfect
sixpack, the doorway exploded, sending the cage dancers fleeing for
the furthest corners of the room. The Twins jumped up, but Diamond
Crystal stood in front of them with her dukes up and ready.
Two
boys with fiery hair stepped through the rubble, wearing a whole lot
of dragonskin and not a great deal else. Diamond Crystal frowned at
their cloaks and wands, and demanded,
"Who do you think you
are?"
The boys glanced at each other, then each moved to take
the arm of a Twin.
"They're late for the TCA meeting love,"
one boy said to Diamond Crystal.
"That's TwinCest Anonymous,
in case you're too smart to figure out anything so simple," the
other added.
"You're not taking my fantasies anywhere!"
the author yelled through Diamond Crystal's perfect rose petal
lips.
[TBC!!1!]
(Twenty by Impromptu Requiem)
Diamond
composed herself. She would have been smashed if not for the
extraordinary resolve of her character. Just like her namesake, she
could withstand the greatest pressure and heat.
Daddy
Morpheus appeared.
"Crystal, my love, I bring tidings of
good news. Though you were not on my ship in the film, I have read
and been touched by your stories about Niobe and me on
"
"Well, god, I felt so sorry that you never
got to snog like Neo and Trinity in the films. You're, like, totally,
the OTP, except for them."
Morpheus, fingering his
pendant and sitting on a chair, replied, "I have truly been
touched by your dedication to us, Diamond. Your story 'Gentle
strength, Quiet love' inspired us to get together, and ...uh."
Morpheus blushed.
"OMG, I knew it! Niobe dumped Locke and
you're having a little baby now! And you want me to be the godmother
-you would have asked Trinity, but she's dead. That was your good
news, right?"
Niobe, flouncing in from nowhere, nodded in
agreement. She wore a pink dress and a flower in her hair. Diamond
knew she was a badass though, so she understood when Niobe completely
ignored her and didn't say hi.
"Morpheus, we have a
problem. Neo, while searching for Diamond, has gotten distracted by
the rust on the wall."
(Twentyone by Spin)
Diamond
Crystal squinted her beeatiful eyes as she tried hard not to trip
over her five inch heels as she followed Niobe's bouncy pink dress.
"Maybe I should have worn more sensible shoes," she thought
to her self. "We do live underground, after all."
The
intrepid trio made their way back to Zion's tres chic steakhouse, and
suddenly came upon a small crowd of people. As she is a badass, Niobe
began pushing people left and right. Morpheus could have sworn he
heard her growl, just as Ghost appeared from the alleyway, hurriedly
tucking in his pants.
At Morpheus's questioning eyebrow, Ghost
rolled his eyes with a superier heir and pointed. Neo stood with his
nose pressed against a large metal wall, gazing desolately at a small
speck of rust. Morpheus sighed heavily to himself, and rubbed his big
large hand over his shiny smooth head.
"Hey!!" Tank
yelled excitedly. "Look who I found over in the bar!" The
entire crowd turned to look.
Sparks looked skecptical.
"What's that old bag doing here?" he muttered to AK, who
giggled. "Anyway, remember, on my signal, you push Ghost, and
then i'll take his boots..."
The Oracle slowly made her
way over to Neo, flicking the tip of her cigarette. "Do you want
some candy? How about cake? That will surely make everything
better."
Neo wailed pitieously, and beat his fists
against the wall. "Noooo! I can't take it anymore! Everyone
keeps leaving me, I can't find Baby Morpheus, Trin is DEAD because
Ghost is CLUMSY, I can't find my hair gel, and I just don't know what
to doooo!" He sniffled. "I'm so alone, and only the rust
understands my pain."
The Oracle patted his shoulder.
"Don't you worry your dorky little head, dear. I'm going to tell
you, step by step, exactly what you need to do. I even have some
helpful diagrams."
Neo blinked in surprise, and tore his
deep chocolately soulful eyes away from the rust. "You mean
you're going to tell me what to do? No choices? No crytic riddles
that I won't understand until after the fact? Not even any obscure
pop culture references?
She smiled benevolentedly. "This
is badfic, dear. Now, the first thing you need to know is....
(Twentytwo by Tamsin)
..."that
in exactly five days, fourteen hours, twelve minutes and sixteen
seconds Trinity will miraculously reappear. Undead."
There
was a gasp.
"Z-zzz..zombies?" Sparks said nervously.
He licked his lips. "Um... any chance the Logos can head out
soon?"
"Loser," muttered Maggie. "Grow a
spine."
There was a general buzz of agreement.
"The
fangirls don't think so!" Sparks said defensively. "They
all want me!"
"None of them have ever met you,"
Ghost pointed out politely. "That might change things."
"You
always take Niobe's side! Kiss ass!"
The Oracle sighed.
"You people. Can't you work out who the enemy is? Damn, no
wonder you ain't never gonna win that war without Dork Boy over
there."
"We're getting off the point," Diamond
said snootily. The Oracle looked at her with a certain malice.
"So
we were."
"Trinity is a zombie."
"No,
the author can't use English properly. She isn't dead."
"She's
alive?" Neo's face lit up. Cute. Dorky, but
cute.
"Bingo."
"But HOW!"
(Twenty three by Impromptu Requiem)
"We
at 01 Medical Center have healed the female rebel," Sam the
Stupid Squid said out of nowhere. "She is in amazing condition,
though she does not remember who you are Neo. This is a good time to
ask all of you to donate funds for our neurology center."
Neo
was overjoyed. He ran to embrace Sam the Stupid Squid, but Sam
suddenly fell to the ground.
Fluffy the Squid towered over
them all, having knocked out Sam with a keg of beer.
"Dude,
I'm really not into this talking squid AU nonsense, but this has gone
far enough. Trinity has been healed by a phenomenon known as a Plot
Device. We must all suspend our disbelief -in fact Neo, that's how
you were healed too."
Neo fainted. Fluffy continued.
"I
want to attempt to restore order to this fic. The squids hate you and
will attack in seven days, giving you less than 48 precious hours
with Trinity. I, however, will not cut you up into shreds right now,
as I enjoy the Zion raves and bar crawling. And I need to find
Kit."
Diamond, suddenly not the center of attention,
waved her gloriously sculpted arms around. "Wait, let me take
you around Zion, Fluffy!"
(Twenty four by Tamsin)
"No."
Fluffy stated rudely. "You're annoying, boring and self
satisfied. You also have a stupid name. Kit is amoral, evil and
hilarious. If scary. (Neon ropes. Woo hoo.) She makes me feel at
home. It's familiar, she reminds me of my Mommy. I want to go get
wrecked with Kit."
"You can't," Neo said
seriously. "She's moving house, hasn't a connection, and only
shows up in a real emergency at the moment."
Fluffy's
bottom tentacles started to tremble. "But...."
"Never
mind," Morpheus said comfortingly. "Imp's evil. And just as
insane. Amata is queen of the Badfic. Empathy is just barking.
Fangirls can keep you occupied in the interim."
Diamond
stamped her perfectly shod foot. "Look! I'M the Mary Sue around
here! This is MY WORLD! MINE!"
Neo looked scared. "Um.
We've heard that line before somewhere..."
(Twenty five by Empathy)
"Yes, you have, Neo!" said a shrill and annoying voice from the dark shadows.
"Who are you?""I'm the ultimate SI. My name's Empathy. I was just unplugged by you, so now I'm the newest kickass addition to your crew, don't you remember? See, I even have the deep and meaningful name. So it means you can come to me whenever you start to miss Trinity, Neo, because I can EMPATHISE, see? I, too, have lost someone dear to me, and so I'm going to be continually ANGSTY and we'll comfort each other into the long hours of the morning, which may or may not turn into something more, even though I know Trinity is still alive and that you are engaged to Diamond and OMG I HAVE NO HAIR! I'M BALD, I'M BALD!!11! What happened to my silky raven hair?!1! How can you gaze into my chocolate brown orbs when I have no hair? I must be so ugly, who on earth could love me now?! Oh woe is me!!1!"
(Twentysix by Tamsin)
Maggie looked at Sparks
and grinned. "Wasn't your punishment to go get laid by a bunch
of willing and eager fangirls?"
"No."
Sparks said at once.
Empathy looked at
him and smiled sweetly. "You sure?" She said. "Quite
certain?"
Sparks backed
slowly behind Ghost, shaking his head. "Neo, man- your
territory."
"Trinity's
alive," said Neo patiently. "I'm not interested in Mary
Sues. They seem unable to grasp this, but it's just getting stupid
now. Can someone please write a way out of this?"
BANG.
AN- extremely
large bomb kills Diamond and Empathy at once. (Sorry Emp. Nothing
personal babe. But they were pissing me off.)
"Now,"
Neo said, "before Trinity and I can share our heartwarming
reunion- it's time for Ghost and I to sort things out. Ghost- you
know what you did. How could you have..."