AN: I'm baaaack. And I did mention at the end of Illness and Foreverness that I wanted to write an H.G centric fic, but one without drama and action and general angst. The general idea behind these one-shots (yes, there will be more, I don't know when because starting Monday real-life will inevitably take over) is to convey a little bit of the confusion that H.G suffered whilst adapting to our world.

(Also, I really enjoy writing from H.G's point of view. Maybe it's because I'm british too ;))

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this first chapter! Please let me know what you thought :)

Well, this was an unexpected turn of events.

She hadn't meant to inflict such serious damage on what now appeared to be a harmless, lifeless kitchen item. Granted, she hadn't the foggiest idea what it did – or what it was - but it had taken her a minute before realizing that the strange, electrical, squeaky sounds it had been making were not, in fact, threatening. Unfortunately, attacking the item in question had perhaps not been the most effective way of subduing it.

...seeing as she'd shot the spear of her grappling hook straight through the glass window of the object and had – quite effectively – torn off what appeared to be the door. Now, all that was left of the small, harmless kitchen appliance was a smoking, blackened hollow box, with what looked like the charred remains of some food or other lying inside.

She suspected that any second now, either Pete or Myka would burst into the kitchen, Tesla's raised and ready to shoot at any possible enemy (herself excluded, of course), and would see the now irreparable door lying discarded on the hardwood kitchen floor….Good God, and Artie….he'd probably have kittens if he saw what she'd done-

'Whoa –H.G! What have you done!' she heard Claudia exclaim from behind her, and she spun round to face the teenager, already trying to form a viable excuse. The girls face was contorted in horror, wide eyes fixed on the discarded piece of metal on the ground. 'Oh my God, H.G – you just murdered our microwave!'

Ah. Well, at least now the object had a name.

Not knowing whether to despair or laugh at the teenager's facial expression, H.G opted for the neutral shrug. 'I did not 'murder' it, darling, it's an inanimate object-'

'An inanimate ob- H.G – this is like, the Holy Grail of kitchen appliances – you just killed it – I mean what did it do to you?' Claudia moans, hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock, quickly bending down to examine the torn off door.

Anyone would think she'd just shot a puppy, or something.

'Well, I'm sorry, but I associate loud beeping sounds with bombs, not...Micro-waves, or whatever the hell that thing is called,' she answers hotly. How did they all expect her to be totally up to date with absolutely every single technological advance that had occurred over the last one-hundred and twenty years? 'So I took no chances.'

'Hey, hey, hey!' Just then, Pete chose to walk through the door, nose wrinkling in disgust as he smelt the fumes from the half-molten microwave. 'Did someone set fire to something in here, or is it just me?'

'Pete! Look,' Claudia dragged him by his sleeve over to where the disaster had occurred. 'Look what she did!'

H.G. gasped in outrage. 'Well, if someone had at least bothered to tell me what that thing was and that it made suspicious noises, that wouldn't have happened!'

As the man took in the damage that had been done, his face took on an expression of despair identical to that of the teenager's.

'My leftover take-out was in there – it was special Chow-Mein-' he practically whimpered, launching himself at the remains of the microwave and trying to salvage anything that might still be edible. Turning around with a charred object in his hands that H.G vaguely recognized as one of Leena's bowls, he glared at her. 'What would possess you to shoot at an innocent bowl of Chow-Mein? Huh?'

Just as H.G started to doubt the fact that forgiveness was still a part of the modern world, Myka poked her head around the kitchen door. 'What's going on? Why are we all shouting?'

'H.G broke the microwave.'

'Dude, she didn't just 'break' the microwave. She took out a gun and shot it!'

'It's actually a grappling hook-'

'You really aren't helping your case-'

'Guys!' Myka shouted, stamping her foot slightly and making them all stop arguing. She stared at the microwave, then at H.G. 'Okay, so, H.G. broke the microwave. I'm assuming by accident?'

'Of course by accident! I had no idea what it is – for all I knew it was some sort of artifact that had found its way into the kitchen!' she gesticulates, trying, for the umpteenth time, to get her point across. 'What is a microwave anyway. What does it do?'

Myka snorts humorously, taking a better look at the ripped-off door. 'What, apart from it nuking food into an edible state?'

The look her partner gives her is one akin to distain, and he turns to H.G to expand Myka's point. 'It cooks food. It unfreezes things quickly, heats things up. You can make special microwave meals in less than, like, two minutes…my best friend…' Pete gazed at the molten lump on the worktop sadly, quickly editing his statement as Myka jabbed him in the ribs. 'I mean, my best….non-living friend…?'

Ah. Well, that explained why Pete was so torn up about it.

'And what about the beeping noise?'

'It's a timer – y'know, like a clock to tell you when the food is ready,' Claudia replied, patting the older woman on the shoulder in what H.G took to being a reconciliatory action. 'You can help us plan the funeral…'

'Bloody hell.' She sighed. 'Look, if this micro-wave gizmo has such a high level of importance to you all, I will buy you a new one.'

Three pairs of eyes snap up to meet hers at once, the first two filled with joy and excitement (which was a little creepy, if she were honest) and the last one glinting with amusement.

'REALLY?' Claudia squealed. 'I mean, because that one – well, that one was ancient – I mean, now we can get an amazing new one with all those unnecessary but awesome settings-'

'-like touch screen control, and 'steam' mode, and 'soften' mode-' Pete grinned.

'-eeee!' Claudia launched herself at H.G, hugging her tightly. 'H.G, you're a rock-star! C'mon,' she grabs the elder woman's hand, pulling her into the lounge. 'We have got some serious pay-pal-ing to do.'

She shot Pete and Myka a nervous glance over her shoulder, dark eyes narrowing as she saw them smirk at her in response. Following Claudia to where her laptop was charging, she wondered if she would regret spending copious amounts of money on this strange (and in her opinion completely unnecessary – had modern day fascination with instant gratification escalated to the point where people were too lazy to get out a pot and boil water over a stove?) gadget.

Regardless, she couldn't help smiling at the girl's excitement, so she sat down beside her and waited for the laptop to 'do its thing'.

(Oh, and she really needed to look up the meaning of 'rockstar' when she had the opportunity.)

How did you find it? Next up will probably be either laptops or mobile phones :)