I do not own anything from Bones except this story.

The Aristocrat on the Ship

By

Professor Hermione Granger

Chapter 1- The Body on the Ship

It had taken hours to finally get to Connecticut from DC and then hours more to get to the mountain where the body was located. According to the local authorities, the body was located on the top of said mountain in the middle of a deep forest. Neither Temperance Brennan nor Seeley Booth was in good humor as they stared at Joshua Gibbs, the park ranger who was supposed to lead them up the mountain. Gibbs seemed to be in his mid-twenties; it was a wonder he was actually the head ranger at his age. He was a little taller than Brennan, and a whole lot calmer. The forensic anthropologist was anxious to get to the body, as was the FBI agent. "Are we there yet?" Booth whined questioningly as they walked past what must have been the thousandth fur tree. "These things are starting to creep me out." Temperance glanced back at her partner from her place next to the ranger. Did he forget what the trees were called after all this walking? She took a look at the trees. They did all look similar, but that didn't surprise her. After all, most trees of the same species looked very similar.

"They're called trees Booth." She said patronizingly, "These are specifically Canadian or Eastern Hemlock; probably the most common type of hemlock tree on this coast." Booth stared at her in shock.

"Why do you know this?" he asked her, again surprised by the extensiveness of her knowledge. However, as soon as the question left his mouth, he regretted asking it. He hadn't actually wanted to know, and now it was too late to say that. Well, not exactly too late, but if he tried to say he didn't want to know she'd probably just end up telling him anyway.

"I took a course on tree varieties around the world last year. I thought it would be a good idea to know what I'm looking at."

"Of course you did. Anyway, are we walking in circles or something? These trees all look the same."

Shaking her head, Brennan answered, "No, we're still walking north. I checked my phone compass a few minutes ago." Noticing the strange look she was getting from her partner she blinked in confusion. "What?" She questioned. "It always pays to be prepared. You should know that better than anyone, Booth." Brennan explained. 'Do I need to say anything to that?' He wondered. She already seemed to think he was pretty stupid, or foolish, or whatever she would call it, for not knowing what kind of trees they were walking through. He didn't particularly want to start a fight with her, but it might be necessary in order to get her to act like a normal person, not the science geek that she was. Just when he was about to answer, Gibbs spoke up.

"You two really need to have sex or something," he bluntly suggested, white teeth flashing in contrast to the dark brown of his beard. Upon receiving blank, awkward looks from both Booth and Brennan, he attempted to explain himself. "It'd relieve the tension." He said nervously; their empty stares were beginning to intimidate him. After the park ranger's final comment Booth and Brennan cast a glance at each other. When they caught one another's eye they shared an inaudible sigh. Yet another person seemed to think that there was something more between them than there actually was. 'Well,' Brennan thought, betraying her endless attempts to deny her feelings for Booth, 'after that kiss anyone who thinks that might be right.' However, their kiss had been hours earlier, and neither of them had spoken of it since. The car trip had been spent in silence, and definitely not comfortable silence.

"Whoa buddy, you've got us all wrong. Bones and I are just friends. Partners, you know?" When Brennan heard Booth's words, her heart constricted painfully in her chest. Was that really all he thought of them as? Partners? It was almost like the time in Dr. Sweet's office when they had determined if they would have a relationship of any kind if there weren't any more murders. When Booth had said they'd probably still get coffee together, she had said 'no', misunderstanding the circumstances. It had felt... wrong to say that they wouldn't even get coffee, but now it seemed that Booth thought they were only partners, friends at most.

"Yeah, just partners. There's nothing remotely sexual between us," she said at last, her voice softer than usual. Booth looked over at her briefly, wondering if there was something wrong with her. She had almost sounded... sad when she said that. But that couldn't be it, right? Sure, there was the kiss earlier, but that had just been because of the deal, hadn't it? Seeley felt something in him stir at this line of thinking. 'Step back Seeley,' he mentally scolded himself. 'Bones is your partner, and yeah, she's your friend, but nothing more. Not a good idea to start feeling… things for her.' Gibbs paled slightly as a thought came to his mind. Could he have been completely mistaken about the two of them? Maybe they didn't act like normal partners because...

"Sorry Dr. Brennan; didn't realize you swung that way," he said to her in way of apology. "My bad, really." The two stared at him; Booth in anger, although he didn't really know why he was angry, and Bones in confusion.

"I don't know what that means," she said as she tried to change what he said into something that she would be able to comprehend. Booth sighed heavily, jamming his hands into the pockets of his black suit pants. He was both glad, and annoyed that she didn't even know what that meant.

"He thinks you don't like men Bones."

"Oh, so you believe that I'm a lesbian?" Gibbs nodded quickly, he was suddenly nervous. "I can assure you that I do like men. I am very fond of men." Brennan said in her usual serious manner. Gibbs coughed and sighed with discomfort.

"Uh... sorry about that." He said, unable to come up with anything else to ease his embarrassment. "Uh... we're almost there. You might be a little shocked when you see the body." He warned them, hoping his effort to change the subject would be worthwhile, since he really didn't want to be on the bad side of an FBI agent or a woman who could probably beat him to a bloody pulp. He may be a ranger, but he was only a park ranger, which didn't mean that he was in good enough shape to take on either of the city folk. Temperance raised an eyebrow at the mention of the case. She had almost forgotten about why they were in the mountains. 'What could be so different about this body than all the others?' She wondered. 'Probably nothing. This guy just isn't used to seeing the deceased, so he thought that this body was unusual in some way.' Brennan internally answered her question.

"That reminds me. How was the body discovered?" She asked.

"Bones, that's my li- you know what, I don't care." Booth cut himself off and looked around at the trees again. They really were annoying. He was definitely not a forest guy, at least, not anymore. He had become a beach, poolside, city guy. "I think these things are multiplying or something." He said, half-serious. "There are more of them."

"What?" Temperance looked at him in annoyance. When she realized he was talking about the trees she groaned. 'The trees again?' She thought. "They're not multiplying, they're not growing, and they're not moving." 'There. That should cover all the bases, at least for now until he starts panicking about them again.' "Booth, it's scientifically impossible for trees to move any great distance without the assistance of an outside force, and it's impossible for them to grow noticeably in the time we've been here." She finished explaining. That seemed to reassure him, since he went silent after she finished talking. Booth knew what he was saying sounded ridiculous, but the trees here were strange. Gibbs smiled and laughed heartily as he looked back at the two of them before looking forward again.

"Don't worry buddy." He told Booth, "The trees do that to everyone, even me sometimes. This forest is weird that way. Things always seem to be unnatural here." He then laughed again. "Dr. Brennan, you just wait and see." He promised. She was tempted to say something but sighed in resignation. There was no point in arguing with someone who obviously didn't see things logically. It was too hot to talk unnecessarily anyway. She looked down at the cell phone in her hand, sighing again when she saw the blinking light in the corner of the screen.

"What's wrong Bones?" Booth asked her, his voice hinting at hidden concern. He wondered if she had accidentally hurt herself. It wouldn't surprise him if something happened out here that couldn't, as any of the Squints would say, 'be explained by rational means.' Temperance held her phone up for his inspection.

"No service," she stated simply, lowering the phone so she could stick it back into the pocket of her jacket. Seeley groaned.

"Great, it's like Deliverance. The only difference is we're not in West Virginia."

"I don't-"

"Know what that means," he finished for her. "It's a horror movie Bones. For the last time, buy a TV." That was one of the reasons why he was often bored when he went to her place. Sure, it was nice there and all; very expensive. But without a TV and with barely any decent music, it wasn't exactly a place conducive to fun. If he had to admit to himself the reason he visited her outside of work it would be that he actually enjoyed her company. He pushed this thought out of his mind and replaced it with, 'Note to self. Buy Bones a TV, new music, and a DVD player.'

"I don't need a television. If I wanted to watch something I could always look it up on my laptop," Temperance said defensively. She really was getting tired of him thinking he knew what she needed. Anyway, she didn't even have time to watch television. She had better things to do than watch mindless shows or movies.

"It's not the same on a computer, Bones. You need a 72 inch plasma screen with a top of the line sound system." Booth gestured with his hands to illustrate his point, stopping when he saw her roll her eyes. "What?"

"You really like television that much?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Well, yeah. What else is there to do when you're at home but watch TV?" He asked.

"I spend my free time either writing or reading journals about new advances in forensic science." She stated, telling him two things she liked to do, as long as her book deadline wasn't involved. "There are others as well if you want me to go on."

"You live a horrifying life Bones," Seeley exaggerated. "We really need to get you out more." She glared at him darkly, her eyes narrowing. "How many times do I have to tell you; I can live my own life!" She exclaimed. A few seconds later she heaved a sigh, shaking her head. "Sorry Booth."

"Yeah, I know Bones." He said, and she didn't quite understand what he knew. The three were silent after that, none of them having anything to say. Gibbs was tempted to try to lighten the mood, but felt it wouldn't be right. He was an outsider in their 'debate' or whatever it was. And anyway, they would reach the location of the body soon, so there really wasn't any point in talking, unless it was about the case.

Gibbs broke the silence with, "Two hikers found the body a little over seven hours ago. They were... surprised to say the least when they discovered it." Temperance glanced over at him.

"What condition is the body in exactly?" she asked, hoping that this time she would receive an answer to a question she was asking.

"You'll have to see for yourself. It's a little too hard to explain," Gibbs replied.

"And when will that be exactly?" Booth asked impatiently.

"Soon."

"And when is soon?"

"Soon is a relative term that could mean any amount of time," Temperance said, going on to explain how it could mean many different things. She stopped when she saw the confused looks the men were sending her way. It wasn't really that complicated, in her opinion, most people could understand it. Or at least… they should be able to understand. "Never mind." She finished. Gibbs looked around a bit before grinning. "We're here," he said, grinning further when the other two sighed in relief. "Wasn't that a fun walk?"

"Shut up kid," Booth muttered as they entered the clearing. At first he didn't see anything. "What is here exactly? I don't see any body." Temperance looked around as well, her eyes widening when she looked up at two giant oak trees.

"Booth..." She raised her hand, a finger extended at the trees. Could what she was seeing be real? That wasn't possible, was it? It took a lot to shock Dr. Temperance Brennan, but this did it. Booth followed her finger with his eyes, slightly disturbed by her tone. When he saw what she was pointing at he could see why she was using said tone.

"Oh...my god..."

A/N: Sorry for the cliff hanger... Anyway, please tell me what you think so far. I wrote this sort of quickly, so I'm sure it doesn't make sense in some places. I know the characters were a little -or maybe a lot- out of character at times and I apologize. I'll try to make them more in character from now on. Thanks to my wonderful beta, Dr. Temperance Brennan.