Innocent Innuendo
Summary:Warehouse 13. Pete and Artie happen to overhear Myka and Claudia having an…interesting conversation. Rated T, because I've never done this before so, why not be safe.
I do not own any of the characters, places, or the title of this series. I think that's obvious because if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Artie sighed as Pete followed him into the kitchen keeping up his constant stream of complaints. It had been a slow couple of weeks, no reports of an obscure artifact, no news of any strange or mysterious events, and not even a whisper of an evil plot to destroy or break into the warehouse. They say no news is good news. Well 'they' clearly never had to deal with a bored Pete.
"Come on Artie I won't mess with anything. I'll be super careful!" Pete pleaded as Artie stood looking conflicted in the middle of the inns tiny kitchen. "What are you looking for?"
"Nothing, I just eh, never mind." Artie cast a remorseful glance in the direction of the spot where he hid his cookies. He didn't want Pete to know where they were. Then he remembered the stash in his room and quickly sped that way not even looking at Pete as he spoke over his shoulder. "But to answer your question no you absolutely can not roam around the warehouse right now. I'll tell you what I told Myka and Claudia. A bored agent in a warehouse full of dangerous magical goodies is not conducive to a long and happy life, alright?" The question was rhetorical but he could hear Pete follow him into his room, clearly not about to give up.
"I said I'd be careful, I mean I'm not gonna-" Pete was cut off as he heard Claudia giggling loudly in her room, which was right beside Arties.
"I know you wouldn't do anything on purpose Pete but-" Artie started to cut in before being silenced with the sound of Myka squealing something gleefully.
"Wait Myka, take it off! Let me see them!" Claudia said still giggling a little. "Ooh they're so soft and supple. Here feel."
"Claudia it tickles!" Myka laughed a bit out of breath.
Artie and Pete stood still in Artie's dim room staring at the wall that separated his room from Claudia's, their cookies and warehouse toys forgotten.
"Let me see 'em Claudia!" Myka whined a little.
"No! I'm not done yet!" Claudia shouted playfully.
"Claudia take 'em off."
"No!"
"Claudia if you don't take those off I'll take them off for you." Myka chimed.
"Uhuh, just try it." Claudia teased.
Artie leaned against his nightstand confused. Pete just stared dumbfounded listening to the little crashes and as Myka apparently chased Claudia around the other room. Then they heard the groan of Claudia's bedsprings followed by Claudia's startled gasp.
"Gotcha! Now give it up! One last chance." Myka purred.
"Myka! Geez!" Claudia whined indignantly.
"Ok then you asked for it." Myka laughed loudly.
"Myka!" Came Claudia's tiny shriek of protest, Myka would have taken it more seriously if Claudia weren't giggling like mad. She had Claudia pinned against the bed in a sitting position with her arm clamped over her knees trying to take Artifact #123, a pair of blue suede shoes that tickle your feet, back from her before Artie found out the were missing. But because they were ticklish Claudia kept squirming.
Artie was no longer just slightly taken aback. He and Pete still hadn't moved since they first overheard this little conversation. Artie was thinking of how awkward it would be to see them face-to-face. He couldn't tell them that he heard them that would be like admitting to eves dropping. He would just look like a dirty old man with nothing better to do. His face reddened as he realized he felt like that anyway. Images of the two women he cared most for in his life being together flashed in his minds eye. His face reddened even more if that were possible.
Pete was trying hard to determine if this were some sort of day dream, or just one of those rare lucky moments when something really hot happens right in front of you, like a cat fight at a wet T-shirt contest. Then as it donned on him that this was Claudia and Myka, the two women he would give his life for, a million conflicting feelings popped up outta nowhere to suffocate him. He felt a little aroused and shocked. And when he thought of Claudia he wanted to punch anyone doing to her what was going on in that room. Like a big brother kicking his little sister's jerk boyfriend out of the house. But it was Myka and he would never do that to Myka, when he thought of Myka in there he felt a sudden disappointment and loss, a missed chance. Both men snapped out of their momentary reveries when Myka gasped, "Hold still!" breathless from exertion.
"I'm trying! Ow! Hey, go easy." Claudia said trying not to laugh while also trying to hold onto the bedpost for support. Myka leaned forward a bit too much and lost her footing sliding to the floor shoes in hand. Unfortunately in the shoes were still Claudia's feet. And down she went falling next to Myka who still struggled to free her from those too tight shoes.
"Myka. Ouch. Myka they're, I think they're getting tighter!" Claudia could feel the shoes shrinking around her now sore feet.
"Claudia I can't get them off!" Myka's voice was thick with frustration and worry. Claudia couldn't take it anymore, she screamed a soft laughing scream as the shoes continued to tickle. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Her feet were killing her.
"Hang on this is too much for me, I'm gonna go get Pete and Artie, they'll help!" Myka just managed to stammer out the last word before she heard a muffled 'Oh god!' and a loud crash sounded in Artie's room. Rushing Myka yanked open the door to find Artie half buried under the contents of his over turned nightstand, books, papers, and cookies were everywhere their box lay open in Artie's lap. Pete helped Artie up, both of them blushing furiously.
"Guys come quick, it's Claudia! We, we've done something we shouldn't have." She was gesturing wildly for them to follow, but they just exchanged a glance and stared at the floor.
"Myka, I don't think that's…I'm not…eh." Artie stammered beet red. Myka was about to shout at the idiots when she heard Claudia scream louder still this time no hint of laughter. Immediately all three agents ran to her room. There was Claudia writhing on the floor clutching at her feet. Artie cursed as he saw the shoes she was ripping at.
"What took you?" Claudia gasped.
"Hot water now!" Artie ordered while pulling on his purple gloves. Myka and Pete brought a big pot of steaming hot water in record time. Artie and Pete picked her up and slowly set her standing in the pot of scalding water. Claudia hissed as it burned her, and then sighed as the shoes loosened up again. Pete picked her up and carried her to the couch; Myka grabbed a towel and some ice, while Artie disposed of the troublesome artifact. After which, all tended to the youngest member of the group much to her delight.
"Hey Artie what were you two doing when I ran in earlier?" Myka asked still puzzled. Artie and Pete exchanged a glance before quickly changing the subject.
"Who wants cookies?" Artie shouted cheerily sprinting from the two women.
"Me! I'll come with you!" Pete said practically running to the kitchen.
"Hmm, we'll have figure out what that's all about later." Claudia yawned stretching cozily on the couch.
"I wonder why Artie didn't yell at us." Myka mumbled to herself.
THE END
Please if any of you reading this sees an error or maybe something I could improve on don't hesitate to let me know via review. Of course praise is always welcome too. ;p