A/N: Hey y'all. I'm back with more kink meme fun. The prompt was as follows: "I think nekotalia needs some more love on this meme. Britabby (that's cat!England, if it's not obvious) watches Americat washing his face and paws and can't help thinking that it's strangely adorable. When he notices Americat having trouble reaching a spot on the back of his neck, Britabby embarrassedly offers his services, but only because he likes things neat and tidy, you understand. Americat is similarly embarrassed by the offer, not to mention more than a little surprised, but accepts. Americat tries to conceal how much he's enjoying it, but his loud and uncontrollable purring gives him away. N-not that Britabby is especially pleased by this!"
Americat sat back on his haunches and let out a sigh of satisfaction. He had just finished devouring the special treat his person had left in his food dish: sliced up pieces of hamburger. Man, he loved hamburger; it was so much better than cat food. In true American fashion, he had devoured the whole thing, not leaving even a droplet of savory juice behind. Feeling pleasantly full, Americat wandered away to find a nice patch of sun to lounge in while he took care of the obligatory after-meal grooming.
His search for sunshine brought him into the front room, where the large windows let the light stream into the house. Americat moseyed over to the patch of sun at an unhurried pace. He didn't even notice at first as his long, fluffy, swishing tail brushed the top of Englandcat's head as he passed, waking the other from an afternoon catnap. Englandcat frowned at Americat's back irritably as he was roused from sleep.
"Watch your bloody tail," he grumbled.
"Whoops, did I interrupt your old dude naptime?" Americat smirked, sitting down in the dazzling sunshine.
"Insufferable git," Englandcat sniped back lamely, his mind still too muddled with sleep to think of a good comeback.
He began to close his eyes again, when something about the larger cat snagged his attention and his eyes eased open again unthinkingly. The sun caught Americat's white and black fur, accentuating its natural healthy sheen to an extent that it almost made Americat look ethereal. Englandcat, as a short-haired breed, had always secretly not hated Americat's silky-looking medium length fur. Not that he was jealous or anything of course. Truth be told, he didn't even particularly like it; he simply didn't think it was hideous. After all, he told himself, Americat probably shed like crazy which tended to create an embarrassing hairball problem. Still, it didn't look completely terrible on Americat, he supposed, and when the sun hit it like it was right now it did look very soft.
Englandcat shook his head stubbornly. What was he doing, staring at Americat this way? His cheeks warmed beneath his fur and he was glad that no one could see. If he was honest with himself, which he rarely was, he had found his eyes inexplicably drawn to Americat with worrying frequency lately. Even more upsetting was the amount of time that usually elapsed before he realized that he was staring, which was sometimes long enough for Americat to notice and teasingly call him out on it. Thankfully he had managed to catch himself this time.
Heart palpitating worryingly, Englandcat tried to return to his nap. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Americat. That was hard to do when he could hear Americat yawn lazily, followed by some soft, drawn out scratching. Englandcat peered inconspicuously out through a tiny parting in his eyelids, and his heartbeat quickened even further. Americat was grooming himself at a luxurious pace, his little pink sandpaper tongue running along his front legs. He followed his long legs with his tongue all the way down to his paws, pausing to nibble between his toes. Once he seemed satisfied that his paws were clean, he brought them up to wash behind his ears.
Englandcat couldn't prevent his tail from fluttering restlessly against the ground at this. Did Americat have to wash in such a conspicuous place? Some cats were trying to rest. It wasn't like Englandcat couldn't shut his eyes if he wanted to; it was just that cursed scratching sound of textured tongue against fur that kept him awake. Englandcat's heart expanded with a curious warmth as Americat rubbed his paws on his face, washing around his eyes. It was probably due to some serious health problem, but Englandcat was too breathless at the moment to care.
Englandcat watched the younger cat this way, from between the slits of his barely open eyelids, his heart fluttering and warming unnaturally, until Americat had finished cleaning all the easily reached places and attempted to get at the back of his neck. But Americat wasn't nearly flexible enough to reach and Englandcat could hear him letting out little whines of frustration as he turned his head and stuck out his tongue as far as they would go in an attempt to finish the job. Englandcat watched in amusement for a moment (Americat did look pretty silly with his tongue stretched out so desperately) before getting up from the cushion he'd been napping on.
"Alright there, Americat?" he sneered. "You look like a right fool like that, did you know?"
"Shut up, Englandcat!" Americat whined petulantly, still trying to make his tongue reach. "I can't just leave it half done, can I?"
"Hmph, at least you have enough brain cells to rub together to realize that," Englandcat teased. "I'm impressed."
Americat took a halfhearted swipe at him with his paw which Englandcat dodged nimbly, still smirking.
"Jeez, why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?" Americat pouted. "I bet you can't reach that spot on your own neck, either!"
"I can reach it fine," Englandcat bragged. "Aren't cats meant to be flexible? And I thought I was supposed to be the old and stiff one. How embarrassing for you!"
"Sh-shut up!" Americat whined again childishly. "I can't help that I've got all this poofy fur that gets in the way! Shorthairs have it way easier!"
"Lie down and let me help you with it, you great whiny prat," Englandcat offered fondly before he could stop himself.
An awkward silence followed his offer. Americat's sparkling blue eyes were wide with surprise, studying him closely as if trying to discern whether the offer had been in earnest. Englandcat's face felt quite warm at his own carelessness. Honestly, what had he been thinking, running his mouth off like that? Well, there was no use in denying that he'd said it; Americat had obviously heard him. He'd have to find another way to cover his tracks.
"I-I'm not saying it for your sake!" he stammered hotly. "I'm only offering because I can't stand not having things properly tidy, you understand!"
"Oh, uh… y-yeah, obviously," Americat said quickly. What was that curious look in his eye? Was it eagerness? "But, um… I… I'd really like that. Appreciate it, I mean. Th-thanks Englandcat."
What was up with that reply? Had Americat honestly just accepted his thoroughly embarrassing proposal by saying that he'd "really like that"? Englandcat's heart was fluttering uncontrollably again. Perhaps it was time to get his person to take him to the vet to have it examined. Americat crouched down in front of Englandcat to allow him easier access to the back of his neck. Englandcat cleared his throat nervously as he leaned in and began to lick. In his nervousness, he used only the very tip of his tongue, ghosting it ever so lightly over the back of Americat's neck.
"Hey, Englandcat," Americat said, still sounding a bit breathless. "I don't think it's gonna help if you just… you know, use the tip of your tongue or whatever."
"I know how to wash, you tosser!" Englandcat snapped, his reaction exaggerated in his embarrassment over the present situation. "I was just getting warmed up!"
Englandcat lowered his face to the back of Americat's neck again and let out a little sigh, bracing himself. The warm air against the back of his neck sent a little shiver down Americat's spine, but luckily Englandcat didn't notice. Americat's eyes fluttered closed in enjoyment as Englandcat began to lick again, putting a bit more effort into it this time. It wasn't as if Americat didn't love being independent and doing things for himself, but sometimes it was nice to have someone else taking care of him. And truth be told, he didn't mind Englandcat half as much as he pretended he did. To be even more truthful, Americat may have even liked Englandcat; he simply didn't know how to express that without teasing. Having Englandcat washing him like this was a more wonderfully sensuous experience than Americat had ever expected to be allowed to share with him. Naturally, he couldn't let on how much he was enjoying this, though. Englandcat would probably think he was a weirdo and decide to leave him to his own devices.
Englandcat paused in his washing, his eyes round as coins in his surprise. There was a strange sound rising from Americat. At first he had been too wrapped up in the washing to pay much attention, but it was quite loud. Surely, surely that noise wasn't what he thought it was. There was just no way his luck was that perfect. And by perfect, he of course meant rotten. As if he wanted it to be what he thought it was. Not in a million years!
"A-Americat…" he croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again, trying not to sound so awed and hopeful. Well, he was awed, if his suppositions were correct, but he certainly wasn't hopeful. If anything, he told himself, he was disgusted. "Are you…?"
"Ah ha ha…" Americat laughed nervously, "guess I must still be hungry! My stomach's growling like crazy!"
Englandcat balked at this ridiculous excuse. The sound was too drawn out for it to be a grumbling stomach. "You're...!" Englandcat cut himself off suddenly. If he admitted that he recognized that sound, the jig would be up. Americat would expect him to be disgusted and pull away and he would have no choice but to do just that. He was disgusted, of course, but there was no way he was going to walk away and leave the job half done. "Y-you're such a bloody glutton," he finished in an almost-whisper.
Americat let out a sigh of relief that Englandcat had bought his excuse. It was a bit of a miracle, really. What would Englandcat say if he knew that he was enjoying this social grooming session enough to actually purr? And since Americat was such a large cat, the purring was rather loud. It would have been embarrassing if he knew the truth, especially since Americat couldn't control the noise issuing from deep in his throat.
Americat's eyes slipped closed again as Englandcat resumed the washing. What fabulous luck he had to be granted this sweet, intimate moment with Englandcat. Englandcat, for his part, was most certainly not smiling right now, and if he was it was only because he had discovered Americat's weak point. He was a full grown adult cat who liked to be groomed like a kitten! What could be funnier than that, especially when one considered Americat's self-proclaimed role as hero? This would certainly make wonderful blackmail material should he ever need any.
Englandcat didn't realize until quite a while later that the grooming had gone on far longer than necessary. How long had he been grooming the back of Americat's neck? Englandcat cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Ah, y-you're done, Americat," he announced.
There was no response from the larger cat, aside from the continuing purring.
"Hey," Englandcat said, crossing around in front of him. Americat's eyes were closed. "Y-you asleep?"
Again, the only reply he received was purring. A soft smile flitted unbidden across Englandcat's face. Honestly, what a kitten! Englandcat yawned suddenly. That moron had interrupted his nap and he was still feeling rather sleepy. He considered returning to his cushion to sleep, but his current position in the sunshine was quite pleasant. Perhaps he would continue his nap here instead.
He let out a little huff of annoyance. Americat, the fat bastard, was taking up the nicest patch of sun. If he wanted to share it, he had no choice but to tuck himself in close to the other's warm, fluffy body. Englandcat's face warmed at the thought, but he decided that he was too tired to really care. Ever so carefully, Englandcat nuzzled in close to Americat. Americat shifted in his sleep, causing Englandcat to freeze nervously, but Americat only twined their tails together and continued his unconscious purring. Englandcat let out a little sigh of relief as he settled in, his little pink nose nuzzled into the black ruff of fur around Americat's neck. His heart fluttered again uncontrollably when Americat's tongue darted out and swiped softly over the space between his ears. Englandcat appreciated the fresh scent of Americat's newly groomed fur as he let his consciousness slip slowly away, lulled by a mysterious harmony of two voices purring.