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It had been two and a half years since my wife was killed. My whole life changed the night I found her dead. I sold our house because she died there and I couldn't stay. I got a shitty apartment with a view from my living/dining room into another apartment. The girl that lived there liked me. She wanted me but I just didn't see her that way. She was kind of weird. She stared at me a lot, watched me through the windows. I thought I should buy shades or maybe I should ask her out. I didn't know. I didn't see her like that. Her name was Alice.
Two and a half long years and I hadn't looked at or thought about another woman, well, two years. Two years after she died, I had started going to this diner. It was a little all night place down the road from where I lived. There was this girl that worked there. She was one of two girls that work the late afternoon shift. She was beautiful and always smiled at me. She had waited on me every night since I started going in there. I went there once a week, always on Thursday nights.
She never asked me my name. I think she knew I didn't want to talk to anyone. She knew what I ordered because it was the same thing every time. She started bring me my coffee without me ordering after a while. She started putting my dinner order in without asking me what I wanted because she just remembered.
I watched her without her knowing. I tried to make it subtle, I didn't think she knew what I was doing. I rested my elbows on the table and my forehead in my hands. I tried to make it look like I was looking at the table but I watched her walk around. I liked her smile and her laugh. I liked how gentle she seemed and almost two and a half years after my wife's death, I took a chance. I decided to asked the girl out on a date.
" Hey, that waitress, the one who waits on me all the time, Jillian, is she dating someone?" I asked as I paid my bill at the end of my dinner. The cashier was a guy, a teen, I think. He looked back at Jillian then back at me before he answered. I glanced up at her then back at my wallet. She was leaning against a counter, her back to me. She was talking to one of the cooks.
" No, I don't think so. I mean she never talks about anyone and no one comes in to see her." The kid said.
I looked back at her as I handed my money over. The kid thanked me and I stepped away from the counter. I started towards her then stopped. I was nervous. I started again then stopped. I heard the kid snicker. He was laughing at me because I was acting like a bitch and I knew it. I rubbed my bottom lip. I did it when I was nervous or thinking. I couldn't help it, I did it without thinking most of the time. I took a deep breath and started towards her again.
" Ah, Jillian," I started. She turned around and smiled at me.
" Did you need something else? You want something to go?" She asked me. I dropped my hand from my mouth and took a hold of my sleeves. I slipped my hands inside my sleeves then laughed.
" Yeah, kind of." I said. " So I was wondering if you wanted to go out...sometime...with me." I was acting like a bitch and now I sounded like a bitch. There was no way she was going to say yes. " I mean, if you don't want too, it's fine."
" No, I'd like that." She said quickly.
" You would?" I asked. She smiled and nodded.
" Yeah, I would." She said. " Let me write down my number." She said as she took her notebook out of her apron. She took a piece of paper out and write her number down then handed it to me.
" Thanks." I said as I took it from her. " So I will call you and we will set something up." She smiled again.
" Okay." She said.
Her name was Jillian Winters and she made me nervous.
XXXXXX
I called her that night. First though, I paced around my apartment with my dog. I picked up the phone, then set it down, then picked it back up. When I was finally ready to man up, I dialed her number and waited. It rang three times before she picked up. I closed my eyes and put my hand in my hair as I asked if it was her. I knew it was, I knew her voice.
We made plans for me to pick her up the following night. It was a Friday and she didn't have to work. She gave me directions to her place and I told her I'd pick her up at five. I thought I'd hang up there, I asked her out, plans were made, that should have been the end of the call but I didn't want to let her go. So I kept asking her questions about herself which she answered then she asked me questions and I answered. She was so easy to talk too. I sat on my couch and put my arm around the back of it. My dog jumped up on the couch beside me.
She had two brothers and a sister. She was a triplet, right in the middle of her brothers. She was 30 years old, ten years younger than me. She was working at the diner because she had just bought a little art studio and needed the extra income. She taught art during the day. She taught kids, teens, and adults. She was hoping to only have to work at the diner for a year or so. She drove a Hyundia Accent.
I was surprised at how her voice alone was affecting me. I had called her feeling nervous and stupid but something in her voice was calming me and making me feel comfortable. She even made me smile and laugh a few times and that felt great. I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled and laughed. We hung up the phone because she had to go not because I wanted too. I wanted to talk to her more but I hadn't realized how long we had been on the phone. We had been talking for two hours.
I thought about the date all day the next day. I hadn't been on a date in so long, I wasn't sure what to do, where to take her. She didn't seem like the movie and dinner type of girl so I decided to take her to the new art museum. It had opened up the month before. I hoped she hadn't been there already. I had looked it up online and bought the tickets before I went to pick her up.
She lived on the top floor of a two level apartment building. I walked up the stairs to her door, my mind racing. I thought about just going home but I wanted to see her. I had thought about her all night the night before and all day that day. I wanted to see her and hear her voice again. Her voice was just amazing to me. It was soft and gentle and her laugh was amazing. It was soft and gentle too.
She had a small private porch at the top of the stairs. She had her door open but her screen door closed. I rubbed my lip quickly and looked away. I took a deep breath and looked back into her apartment. I knocked quickly before I could lose my nerve. I told myself to man up, she was just a girl. A girl I had met and made me feel something. I had been empty for so long. Suddenly she appeared at the doorway and I couldn't help but smile.
" Hi." She said as she opened the screen door.
" Hi." I said before I walked into her place. Directly to my left was a little room that had French doors. In front of me was her living room and dining room. I could see what looked like her kitchen. Right by the kitchen was a stair case.
" Let me grab my bag." She said as she walked to her dining room table. She picked up a plaid green and blue bag. She put the straps over her head so it went across her chest and back. She smiled as she took a hold of the straps.
" You ready?" I asked her. Her smile warmed me.
" Yeah." She said.
XXXXXX
We walked to my car, talking together. I was still surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. I had gotten close to her when we walked down the stairs and she smelled like nothing else I had ever smelled before. Whatever she was wearing was light and soft, just like everything else about her. It wasn't over powering or anything, just a soft, amazing scent. I wished I knew what it was.
We talked to entire way to the art museum. She hadn't been there yet but had been wanting to go so she was excited and that made me smile. I stole a few glances at her as I drove. At the diner she always had her hair parted to the right side and pulled up into a messy bun. Her uniform were faded jeans, black vans and a white shirt with the name of the diner across her back.
Now she had her hair down and straight. It was still parted to the right side but now I knew how long it was. It reached her lower back and was a very dark brown color and two blond streaks on either side of her head. Her dark blue eyes were shining and they sparkled as she talked. I liked her eyes, they drew me in. They had dept to them and I wanted to know what was behind them.
I parked the car in the parking deck of the art museum and we walked side by side. I kept asking her questions about herself and she asked me things. I found out she had grown up in Ohio with her parents and siblings. Her brothers lived together in the same apartment complex as she did. Their apartment was just below hers. She shared her apartment with her sister who was two years younger than the triplets.
I watched her as she took in the paintings and art pieces. Everything there seemed to amaze her and I liked to see the look on her face as she looked around. She explained who some of the artists were as we went along, I was surprised at how much she knew. I could really like this girl, I thought to myself. I was glad I had decided to go out with her. Her wonder at things made me smile and made me have that much more interest in her.
We spend almost two hours there and they flew by. Sometimes when she was explaining things to me, she'd lean closer and I'd inhale deeply. She just smelled so amazing. Her skin looked so soft I was surprised at myself for wanting to touch it. I almost reached out to take her hand a few times but stopped myself. We weren't there yet.
" So you want to get something to eat?" I asked her when we got into my car. She smiled at me.
" Sure but I will pay." She said. I was taken back and glanced at her before I backed my car out of it's spot. I hadn't expected that.
" Is there some place you want to go?" I asked her.
" No, I don't care, just not the Merlotte's, please." She said with a smile. I smiled as I rubbed my lip. I wouldn't have dreamed of taking her to her work.
After dinner, I drove her home. I didn't want to drop her off but it was 8:30 already and I didn't know how long she wanted to stay out. It seemed like we were talking about everything and anything. It was so easy to get along with her. She smiled and laughed so much. It made me feel so good. I didn't want to leave that feeling.
" So can I ask you something?" She asked me as she looked at me.
" Sure." I said as I drove.
" You don't have to answer me if you don't want too, okay?" Jillian asked.
" What?" I asked. She took a deep breath and looked away. I shifted in the driver's seat as I started to get nervous.
" Who was it in your life that upset you?" She asked as she looked back at me. I glanced at her then looked back at the road.
" What are you talking about?" I asked.
" You are in a place that I was in a few years ago, I can tell. I can see it in your eyes." She said.
" And what place is that?" I asked.
" A sad place." Jillian said. I sighed.
" And what happen to you?" I asked.
" I tell you, you tell me?" She asked as I pulled into a parking space. I shut the car off and faced her. I nodded because I wanted know what had happen to her. She met my eyes. " I had another brother. He was five years younger than me. He was killed four years ago in a car accident that he and I were in. He died in my arms. He bled to death all over me." I was shocked. I couldn't believe what she had just said. I didn't know what to say. " So what happen to you?" She asked gently. I looked away, rubbed my lip for a few seconds while I gathered my thoughts then looked back at her. I dropped my arm and tilted my head slightly.
" My wife was killed 2 years ago and the police never found the killer." I told her, surprised at easy it was to tell her. She nodded.
" The police never found out who hit my brother and I." Jillian said.