Story: On the Bright Side
Summary:Temptation led to a failed attempt at suicide, and Kururi and Izaya are there to try to pick up the pieces, but maybe the possibility of a better future, would be waiting for them along the way. Maybe, through this experience, Izaya would be able to realize the true impact his sisters actually have on him, and what he would be without them. Or, maybe, become more distant? KururixMairu TW
Based on some of my own personal experiences.
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!
Relationships: KururixMairu/MairuxKururi, KururixAoba(one sided) The light novels did say Kururi liked him, but I don't really think it's requeited(but do let me know if it is), and Mairu loves Kururi a lot), IzayaxKururixMairu, ShinraxCelty, and other possible, but minor, canon pairings, and friendships, Aoba included.
I'm not a huge expert on the light novels, but in the anime, I couldn't help but notice this. First, Mairu kissed Kururi, then Kururi kissed Mairu, and then Kururi kissed Aoba, then Mairu kissed Aoba(likely just because Kururi had just done so). My conclusion was the Mairu sort of felt her worthiness of being with Kururi deducting, or something like that.
This story will not be all about love, but some of it will. However the majority of the story will be about the role Izaya will be playing as a brother.
Please note that it may look like Mairu is only caring about her love for Kururi at first, but there are far more underlying issues that will come to light in the future.
Orihara Kururi and Orihara Mairu had always cared for their brother, Orihara Izaya, but they just didn't express it in a normal way because of the way he always distanced himself from them. Above all, they just wanted him to acknowledge them, because nobody else really did, either. Perhaps, that was why Kururi had seemed to have fallen in a likely unrequited love with Kuronuma Aoba, was because he was very similar to their own brother, but would still be there to acknowledge them. Though there had likely been more to it than that, that was what Mairu got from it, and what she had read.
She had never particularly minded the thought of Kururi falling in love with someone other than her, but she had always been terrified of being left behind and forgotten by her, because of the fact that her brother was never there, and their parents always being absent, Kururi was the only constant she had and the only person she trusted. Without her, Mairu was nothing. They were suppose to make up for each others' flaws. Contrary to belief, Mairu was actually the weaker and more vulnerable one.
However, she admired and loved Kururi and wanted to 'stay strong' because she wanted to be just like her.
Contrary to belief, Mairu was, in reality, the less social one, and was actually depressed a lot of the time, down deep, but being with Kururi had always sort of put a light to things and made her feel better.
Beside of that, unlike Izaya, she hated humanity. It disgusted her. Of course, her brother, Kasuka Heiwajima, Aoba, Mikado, Shizuo, the so-called Headless Rider AKA "Celty", and Kururi were some of the only exceptions, but the only ones who sincerely looked back every time were Kururi and Aoba, and she was happy to feel like she was a part of something for a change, which was also why she had always felt such an attachment to their chatroom. In fact, that was the only time her completely true personality came out; it was when she was online, even though her and Kururi supposedly 'switched' personalities there. What and how much people saw her type on there was who she truly was, even though sometimes, she was just saying so much just to keep things going because it was kind of like her family.
For a long time, however, she had been having 'darker thoughts than normal' that she'd kept trying to push away and ignore, because she had to stay strong all for Kururi. She wanted her acknowledgement and praise. She wanted to give Kururi a reason to love her back even if love typically had no reason.
She didn't deserve to be loved; she was aware of that, but she loved Kururi and wanted to be loved no matter the reason. It hurt to think that she might be able move on without her, so she just tried to immerse herself in the moment as much as possible.
However, that didn't stop the thoughts and temptation from eventually once again managing to take over, no matter how much she had kept trying to fight it away before.
"Mairu...? Are you feeling alright...? You've been in there for a while." Mairu jumped as she heard Kururi's voice outside the bathroom door.
"Kuru-nee! Y-yeah! I'll be out in a minute...!" she had been lost in a trance, and was holding a razor to her wrist. She didn't want to hurt herself, but had heard about it, and had started having temptations to just try it.
"Would it really be that bad if I did...? But it would only leave scars afterward. I'm afraid of her noticing and asking about it... If she did, what would I even say? I keep thinking I could hide it if I did, but..."
"Hey, Kuru-nee, are you still out there?" she asked, after a minute.
"Yeah...," came the response. "what is it?"
Kururi thought about a question for a moment, but couldn't bring herself to ask it in the end. She was honestly afraid of being judged.
"...Nothing. I was just wondering."
"What would she do if I was gone...? She'd probably just be able to move on, right...? Why does it hurt so bad?"
A sob had almost escaped her.
...
"Kuru-nee! I love you!" Mairu shouted, jumping over and hugging Kururi. "I really do mean it."
"I love you, too," Kururi said, flipping through the messages on her phone in the current chatroom session "but you don't have to be so loud about it, do you?"
"Sorry, I guess just really wanted to say it! You know?" Mairu said, suddenly quiet.
"I know she's saying that because doesn't want me yelling, but it feels like she's afraid of someone hearing... I feel so bad to think that way. She would probably think I was selfish if she knew. Hell, I am kind of selfish, though, aren't I? Oh well... It's not like I can just change that."
These were her thoughts, as her tears had one again resurfaced at the thought, and she barely managed to forced them back.
"Hey, Kuru-nee!" Mairu smiled, laying her head on Kururi's lap.
"Hm...?" The other looked down at her, their brown eyes meeting.
"What would you do if I left?" She forced herself to ask the question which she'd tried to ask over and over again, but had finally been 'courageous' enough to just ask.
"Well, you're not planning to leave, are you?"
"No, I mean if I was gone."
"Gone? Why are you asking? I don't you want you die, if that's what you're asking..."
Mairu's chest clenched again, as she tried to swallow back the lump in her throat.
"What I'm asking is, if I happened to die, would you really be sad?"
"I..." Kururi obviously hadn't expected her to ask that, but she knew Kururi had likely noticed her strange clingy behavior as of late, so Mairu just decided to put two and two together. "I truly don't want you to die before me, so if you did pass away, I would be very sad, yes, Mairu... Love you a lot... Have you been sick or anything...?"
"Daijoubu, Kuru-nee! Hahaha! Don't worry. I want you to be happy, so I won't let anyone take me. I would never want you to feel like it was your fault. But... can you promise me something...?" Mairu felt the tears yet again rise to her eyes, only, this time, she couldn't stop them.
"What is it...?" Kururi asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.
Mairu forced a smile. "If... If I did die, promise that me you won't cry, Kuru-nee. Promise me that you'll always keep smiling for me, won't you?"
"...hypocrite. You're not doing either of those... Fake..." Kururi said softly, rubbing her tears away.
"Well, we make up for each others' flaws, so one of us has to do it..., right? I'm sorry for being so weak. I can't stop..." Mairu choked, rubbing Kururi's hands away, as she wiped her eyes and tears.
"You don't have to... Just cry if it hurts..." Kururi told her, leaning down and kissing her on the lips.
She didn't deserve it, but she wanted it, and, even if Kururi was using her, she would always be okay with it, as long as Kururi was.
But she knew Kururi wasn't like that, so who did she like more? Her or Aoba? To be honest, she felt completely horrible for questioning it, but she couldn't stop acting so childish no matter how much she cursed herself for it.
"Kuru-nee," she uttered, having calmed down a little, as their lips departed. Reaching up to place a hand Kururi's chest. "if you don't want me to be with you, I can understand. You like Aoba, ne?"
"Hm," Kururi confirmed. "but I still like Mairu more."
She didn't deserve this at all.
She swallowed, utterly failing for the first time to push back her feelings. "I'm sorry."
...
"What have I done...? I'm not bleeding enough. I must have to bleed more, right? It's suppose to make me feel better, right? Screw the people who says this helps... It can't cure anything..., but... what if I happened to go deeper...? Will it make me feel better, then? I have to find out... Screw it... I must really deserve to be all cut up, after all, huh?"
The younger twin had finally snapped and done it. She had to openly admit that she had, by definition, went "way too far" and had found no relief in doing it either. But at the least, it had distracted her from her hatred of her body image, her depression, and her thoughts of her weakness and everything else, she guessed. She didn't have to be sad at the moment. She could just focus on the pain.
"Who knows? Maybe it'll just take away everything? Surely... Kururi... would be able to move on, right? Oh, yeah..., that's right! After this, if I die, everything will be gone, me included. That's what Iza-nii said, right...?"
Maybe she was bleeding more than she thought, but she didn't even care at the slightest anymore. She was feeling really light headed now, and her vision had became too foggy to really make anything out.
"Kuru..." she muttered, hearing a vague familiar voice calling her name, and then a small knock, and that was the last thing she could have possibly remembered before she passed out.
...
The last time that the illegal information dealer of Shinjuku, Orihara Izaya, and the illegal underground doctor who was well known throughout Ikebukuro and Shinjuku as well as a highly regarded surgeon sometimes working for the Yakuza, Kishitani Shinra, had spoke in person, or at least seen each other, had been at least a few months. Whenever they did, it was typically because Izaya had been injured in one of his many fights with his mortal rival and enemy, Heiwajima Shizuo.
"Orihara-kun, wow, you really did it to Shizuo-kun this time, didn't you?"
"You're thoroughly mistaken, my dear friend. I did nothing at all to him, Shinra. He just came an attacked me suddenly, and for once, I was taken by surprise. I honestly didn't expect him to not use some vending machine or street sign~"
"Let me guess. He accidentally threw you in front of a car or into a window." Shinra filled in the blanks, likely judging from the many sharps of glass sticking out of the informant's body.
"Nope~! It was actually an eighteen wheeler, and I don't know what you mean by an "accident", for he's too much of a monster to acknowledge such a mistake, ne? Anyway, are you going to fix me or not?" Izaya deadpanned.
"...Yeah," Shinra gestured his hands a bit. "come on. I'm only helping you, though, because that is what My Honey Celty would want me to do for you, and also because you're paying me. It is my job, after all."
"I have said it before, but who in the world would ever want a friend like you~? Not-" before Izaya was able to finish his sentence, one of his many cell phones had begun ringing in his pockets.
Putting it to his ear, he answered it without thinking about who it could have possibly been. "Hello~?"
However, after the person on the other end had obviously spoke, Shinra guessed who it was just be seeing Izaya's face contort a bit.
"Oh, it's only you, Kururi. Sorry, I'm busy. Talk to you later~"
And he hung up.
"Now, as I was saying-"
Only for her to call him back yet again.
"Kururi, I said I'm busy. I can't deal with you or Mairu right now. Good bye~!"
Beep.
"You really don't like your sisters, do you?" Shinra suddenly asked him, to which Izaya just sneered, rolling his eyes.
"Why should I? They're always bothering when I tell them to leave me alone. No, I don't 'like' them, Shinra. I-" Izaya started to say, but was once again utterly cut off by his 'annoying' phone.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Damn it, I told you to stop calling me, Kururi. This is a business number, yet you're calling me, even though I'm sure you have no important business to call me for, so STOP." He hissed, hanging up once more, now glaring at the device in his hand.
"As I was saying, I don't-"
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Izaya immediately glared daggers at Shinra when the doctor had burst out laughing at how persistent his sisters evidently were.
"It's too bad that you can't just turn off your phone, huh, Izaya?" Shinra smirking, earning a hand in his face.
"I hope you die." growled Izaya, utterly irritated and humiliated for some reason unknown. He sighed, finally answering the phone, despite the pain he was currently in.
"...Okay, will you please stop calling here and irritating me, already? What is it, already, mydear sister?"
"...This is Shiki."
"Wow, that's loud. What in the world. Did I press the speaker?"
"Sh-Shiki... Shit. Shiki-san, please forgive me for my rudeness, will you~? I didn't even realize it was my dear ol' friend from the loving Awakusu-kai, ne?" Despite how 'friendly' his tone sounded, he hadn't stopped glaring at Shinra for a second, and, in fact, was currently unknowingly contemplating how he might possibly be able to get around getting killed by a certain dullahan if he just happened to 'accidentally' choke Shinra right here and now.
"...I see. If you get a chance, I would like for you to inform Kishitani-san than we need to speak with him if he gets a chance," Shiki requested. "because our men can't get up with him."
"Ah, what a coincidence~ He's right here next to me, ne~?" Izaya smirked. noticing Shinra smiling nervously.
"He is? I see, but first, you do have Caller ID, don't you?"
"Ah~ But, sometimes, even Gods like myself do stupid things, ne? Anyway, here he is~"
"O-Orihara-kun, hey! I-!"
"Take it!" Izaya snapped lowly.
"Fine fine. Hello, Shiki-o-dana. How are you today?" Shinra inquired, walking off a bit, giving Izaya a bit of a side-glare momentarily.
But Izaya was no longer even paying attention to him.
"Damn it, that was the worst excuse for an explanation ever. Who could that be calling?"Wondered Izaya. Another one of his many cell phones had begun ringing in pocket, as he could feel it vibrating.
Checking the caller ID, he discovered that it was either Kururi or Mairu. How many of his numbers did they even have? No point in not replying anymore, he reluctantly and spitefully guessed.
So he just picked up, and before he even had the chance to say anything, Kururi had started shouting at him. "COME TO THE HOUSE! SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!"
"What are you talking about? I-" Izaya was practically speechless for a moment, taken off guard by the fact that Kururi, who was usually extremely quiet, was yelling at someone for a change. More so, at himself.
"I don't care if you have a job or not, you're our brother as well! The bathroom door is locked or barricaded, one, I can't get in and Mairu is not saying anything at all! Don't you ever care to listen?! I'm sorry, I'm worried, is all... I..."
"Fine, I'll be there, shortly..." he sighed, not particularly liking the feeling of unexpected fear sitting in. Mairu was obviously absolutely fine, as they were probably just trying to play some stupid personality switching game to trick him, but he decided he needed to go, anyway, in case they had done something or another... "Ugh, I don't really get what's going on..."
"Where are you-?" Shinra started to asked.
"No where in particular. Well, Kururi sounds rather worried about the bathroom door at my old house or something like that~ See you later, Shinra~! Hope you die before then, though, ne?"
"I highly doubt that'll happen~ I have Celty to protect me~! Poor guy! You don't have anybody to protect you, do you, Izaya?!"
At that, said information dealer flipped the bird, and left, making his way to the house which his parents owned in Ikebukuro of which he never wished to stay at anymore. Sure, he sometimes bought them food and toiletries and stuff, and brought them there when the twins were gone, but other than that, he tried to avoid that house all together.
No reason. He just didn't like it.
And by 'no reason', he meant that there was no reason he could directly pinpoint because there were just too many, and it was plain annoying to think about. Therefore, he wouldn't.
...
As soon as he arrived at the dreaded place, and came in, Kururi was already dragging him to the bathroom, visible tears brimming in her eyes.
"Look, I-"
Kururi said nothing, and Izaya suddenly didn't know to say himself. He turned to the door.
"Sigh... Fine. Mairu? Are you in there?"
No reply. Great. Why was he feeling so awkward suddenly?
"If you don't answer or open the door, I'm gonna kick it open, you know~ I really don't have time for this."
Once again, no reply.
The raven swallowed.
"Look, I don't like to snoop in on people in any bathroom, but Kururi insists that I go in, so, um..., sorry~" Izaya hesitantly chimed, kicking the door at full force.
Once.
Then twice.
And it opened, ripping part of the wall off with it.
"I-" Izaya froze.
"Mairu...?" Kururi approached.
"...What? What in the world happened? Why the hell did she-"There was blood everywhere, and in the empty bathtub, Mairu sat unconscious. Her arms... and her body..., it was all covered in crimson, and multiple lacerations and several puncture wounds. He was suddenly nauseous, and he didn't know what to think at all, as his mind was spiraling in several different sudden directions. "How long has she been in here...?"
Kururi looked back at him.
"She's been in here at least an hour. I've been calling her and trying to push open the door for about thirty minutes..." She said.
"I'm going to call an ambulance. Why didn't you call somebody before now?! If you thought she was dying or something-!"
Kururi edged back in fear at his tone, but glared at him then. "As if you're any better?! How would I have known she wasn't playing some kind of trick and wanted one of us to break in here?! She would have got in a lot of trouble and I'm couldn't allow something like to happen!"
"I-" Izaya stiffened in realization, before turning around about "whatever, I'm calling them."
Dialing the 119 on his phone, he waited for someone to pick up.
"This is 119. What is your emergency?"
"Yes, I'd like to... um... request an ambulance." He said, bending down to check her shredded wrist for a possible pulse. "I just found my younger sister unconscious and covered in cuts and blood, and I don't really know what to do. She still has a pulse, but it seems kind of weak, um-"
"Where do you live?"
"Um... um..." Shit. What was it again? Why couldn't he think straight, damn it?! "Calm down!"
"Sir? Are you alright...?"
"Yes, I'm-"
"Sorry, he's just really stressed." Kururi said, taking the phone, and giving them the correct address. He'd been away from there for so long he hadn't even cared to remember it. It wasn't that he didn't, once again, but he just wasn't thinking straight.
"Yes... I'm her older twin sister... Orihara Mairu... Uh-huh... I understand... Thank you..." Kururi mused on the phone, before finally hanging up, and looking at Izaya. "...They're coming out."
Izaya then let out a shaky breath. "I see..."
A/N: What do you think? I want to know and need to know that this isn't awful, and that someone out there is listening to me. You have no idea how much it means. I'll try to update when I can, ne? However, I may not if nobody's listening. ^^