Joker's Log-Arkham Asylum
So the Bat paid me another visit last night. He told me that he hasn't found the imposter yet. Well, actually he told me that he knows I'm sneaking out and eventually he'll find out how, but I like to put my own twist on things.
Anyway, I figure I can get out of here by using my straightjacket as an asset. I'm crazy, but am I crazy enough to make them believe I'm rehabilitated? Removing the things that make me The Joker will be a trying task, but with the right amount of forced acting I could pull it off. It would be the greatest joke of all time. I can see the headline now, The Joker Is No Longer A Clown. I can lure the people of Gotham into a false sense of security and then Bang! I can come back with an even bigger explosion than when I first arrived. I can even ask to keep my straightjacket as a memory of the man I once was and never want to be again. Hmm, that whole keeping my face straight think is going to be an interesting challenge, almost as much of a challenge as walking out of here without killing anyone. I guess I will just have to make up for that by killing Robin and that oblivious Nightwing after I have my "relapse." I wonder how long it would take them to loose consciousness hanging upside-down in a vat of pumpkin pie mixture.
I guess the proper thing to do would be to make a list of things I have to do in order to get out of here. Then I have to make another list of things to do when I get out of here. I should probably invite the Bat over for tea when I get out. Although, he seems like more of a coffee person, to me. I wonder how many ways you could kill someone with coffee. Focus J, focus!
List 1: Things to do to get out:
convince therapist that I'm rehabilitated
remove all things Joker from my life
lecture other inmates especially two-face about the so called right path
"realize" that Batman and his tag-a-longs are helping society (therapist will eat that up like a stray dog's first meal in weeks)
convince therapist that Harley Quinn is an insane lunatic and should be moved to a more secure location (like the bottom of the ocean)
Okay, so the last one is for my own enjoyment.
List of things to do once I get out:
find a nice place to spend my days as a normal citizen
visit with the Bat
continue visiting therapist and keep convincing her that I'm rehabilitated
become a "stable" member of society
send apologies to the Gordon's and others I have repeatedly and will continue to attack
have a relapse
deal with my imposter problem
torture the Bat-clan
kill the Bat-clan
Destroy Arkham Asylum
Yeah, that seems like a good start for a to-do list. Would it be too evil to read this log to the Bat right before I drop his little birdie from an amazing height? Then again, is there such a thing as too evil? I think not.
My therapist should be proud that I'm utilizing everything she taught me. I really must get her a fruit basket or something because without her none of this would be possible. I should add that to my to-do list. Those neat drugs she gives me to help me focus and concentrate work like a charm. I would never have been able to focus long enough to go all the way like this without them. The best part of this entire thing is it's so crazy no one will expect it. The best surprises are the ones you never see coming.
Too crazy even for The Joker, that's what people will be saying. Ha, as if that is possible. Just the thought of that stare I will get from the Bat makes me giddy. I can't wait.