A/N: Hey all! This is the second Kuroshitsuji fanfiction I'm putting up! Its only a OneShot and I'm still working on the last couple chapters of Emotions Are Irrational, but I just had to write this. Its short and may be slightly cheesy, but I remembered this old inside joke my friend and I had about Ciel and Sebastian and had to write it! Enjoy!

"Come in, Sebastian." Ciel said to his butler knocking at the door.

"Young Master," said Sebastian as he entered the library. "Your afternoon tea is ready."

The twelve year old Earl nodded in acknowledgment, not bothering to look up from the book in his lap.

Sebastian read the cover and smiled. "Edgar Allen Poe's work?"

"The Tell Tale Heart."

"Do you think it wise to still be reading his stories?" asked Sebastian pouring the tea. "You may give yourself nightmares again."

Ciel glared at him. "Don't you have work to do?"

"Yes, I do." said Sebastian looking troubled. "But I thought, perhaps, since the Young Master isn't busy at the moment I would take this opportunity to speak to him after serving his tea."

The young boy looked back to his book, not in the least bit interested in what his butler was saying. "Talk to me? About what?"

"Young Master," Sebastian began, carefully phrasing his words. "The time is drawing near, and I think its time that someone has opened your eyes to the severity of the situation you face. I say this only because you hardly seem aware of what truly awaits you-"

"Sebastian, I know."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I know what you're going to say," he continued. "And I must tell you, I am fully aware of what I am to face in the near future."

"You are?" Sebastian asked surprised.

"How annoying. Nevertheless, I had a feeling you would come to speak to me of this matter soon. Sebastian, I understand that when the time comes, you will take my soul. I have no intentions of backing out of our contract, nor do I have any regrets about making it."

"That's good to hear, however, that is not what I was referring to."

". . . Its not?"

"No. It pertains to a different matter entirely." The butler took a breath before continuing. "A matter that more or less has to do with the fact that you have just turned thirteen."

"I don't follow."

"You see, you have recently entered an awkward stage of adolescence where things are . . . Changing."

"'Changing'?"

". . . With your body."

"Sebastian, I don't like where this is going, I order you to stop."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." said Sebastian. "Our contract states that I am to be your butler, and as your butler, I am to look out for your well being to a certain degree."

He paused before continuing, "And at this point in time, I believe its best that we discuss . . . Sex."

Ciel blinked. "I'm out of here."

"No." said Sebastian grabbing the boy's collar before he could run. "If a butler of the Phantomhive family is unable to give his master a proper sex talk, then where would we be?"

"In a far more pleasant situation, I assure you!"

Ciel desperately tried to think of a way to make him stop. "Look, Sebastian, I don't want to discuss this matter and if- if you continue to pursue it- I –I shall punish you severely!"

"Is that your way of asking me for a demonstration?"

"NO!"

"Then come, Master." said Sebastian practically dragging him out of the room. "I have recently procured life-sized –and anatomically correct – figures of both the male and female bodies from the Undertaker that we shall put to use."

"THAT IS SO GROSS- SEBASTIAN, STOP!"