Burning Embers

By D. F. Ray

August 16, 2002

Los Angeles, the year 2022:

In Los Angeles, he fought side by side with the other members of Angel Investigations until he was the last one standing. In the end he managed to kill the last one from, the law firm from hell, Wolfram & Hart, and found himself truly alone. There were no adversaries, no allies, not one soul to save. Only the smoking, ruins of what had once been. He began to wander what had once been the city, no caring whether he lived or died. Loneliness, something he's learn to live with was now something he hated .The few survivors he encountered were frightened, hungry, shell-shocked people who were only vaguely human at this point. Some carried on conversations with invisible companions, others raved, like rabid dogs, seemingly at thin air. None spoke or even seemed to notice he passed. "I don't want to end up like them, he thought, but if I don't do something soon, I will be."

As the days passed he began to realize he needed direction. The only beings with that knowledge were 'The Powers That Be' So he went to the spot, under the post office where he had so many times before spoken and listened to them. He smiled, bitterly, thinking of Doyle bringing him here for the first time but neglecting to tell him he had to offer tribute in return for advice. In he end he gave them, time, or to be more accurate, he gave them his watch. This time was different, he had given the ultimate tribute, everything, all that he loved or cared about during the epic battle. That should be enough tribute even for 'TPTB'. He called to them, over and over for days, until he had no voice and was forced to think he questions, but he continued, asking the same questions over and over again; "What do I do now? Where do I go from here? What use is a champion with no one left to save?" For food he caught rats and devoured them, not thinking just existing to ask the questions, and sleep. Finally while asleep he received an unexpected answer in a dream, or so he believed.

In the dream, the friends he'd lost, Cordy, Gunn, and Fred, spoke as one morphing from one voice, one face to the other. Watching them made him dizzy. First Cordy said, "You are free now!" Then it was Gunn, "You have fulfilled your purpose." Now Fred was saying, "As the prophecy said, you will be rewarded with your humanity!" It went on and on for what seemed like days, and they he awoke. Something was different, he felt strange, and his nose was bleeding! He felt weaker somehow, and at first he thought it was just a reaction to the lack of a proper diet and the stale air in the basement of the post office. But he also realized he could sense the demon that had inhabited his soul for so long. Could it be... could he actually be human again after so long? He had to be sure, had to find a way to test himself. Slowly he paced the room, thinking, looking and then he found a small hole in the corner brickwork that was allowing sunlight to shine through. His next thought was of Buffy, the one true love of his life. "If I am truly human and she survived, we can be together as we always wanted. No more curse, no more Angelis. No more wondering about what might have been," he thought. But first… slowly he put his hand in the sunlight, squinting in the anticipation of the searing pain experienced too many times before…and nothing happened! He smiled, and then laughed out loud. And so his journey began…

The town of Sunnydale, never a metropolis had been all but destroyed in the final battle between good and evil. The majority of the survivors had long since left the ruins in hopes of finding more populated areas where food and shelter could be found. She wasn't alone, by any means but she had wandered here for weeks, wondering what to do and where to go. Occasionally hearing but now seeing the few who remained there with her, foraging for food or hiding in the shadows. There are no Watchers now, no orders to follow; she is essentially a Slayer with nothing to slay. He friends and her watcher were all killed during the fight and she was unable to prevent it. They chose to stand by here side and fight the good fight as always. Only this time there was no happy ending. She isn't even sure whether good or evil won. It all seems pointless now. The death and destruction has left her empty and slightly shell shocked. She has had little to eat and even less sleep and it shows. Dark circles under her sunken eyes tell the tale her mouth cannot. She is reed thin and pale as milk, her face a small round moon in the darkness. Her once blond hair now carried streaks of the purest white either from worry or fear she didn't know although she felt she had earned each white hair from old age. She was positive no Slayer had lived to the ripe old age of 40 before. Thanks to her friends and some well timed magicks, she had survived when all other Slayers had died. Her haunted eyes make her appear to be on the verge of tears at any given moment. "What am I going to do now? I've never been outside of California or any further than L.A. so I guess this is home," she thinks over and over again as she slowly wanders what was once Main Street. Her thoughts drift to Angel, wondering if he survived the battle. If any of the friends she had in Los Angeles were wandering lost as she was now. "Maybe I should go there and find out if any of them are still alive," she thinks. But for now, it seems like too much to her already overwrought senses. Physically she is drained and bone weary. She sits on a nearby twisted lump of metal she thinks was once a bus bench, and begins to reminisce.

In the beginning it was taboo for them to be together, even scandalous; a vampire slayer in love with one of history's most destructive vampires. But then over time she finds she loves him with passion that even surprises her. At some point, they realized the feeling was mutual and they couldn't spend enough time together. They even began to concoct excuses to find time to be together. That is until her 18th birthday, and then everything changed, forever. They made love in Angel's small apartment and the world went to hell, almost literally. They had no way of knowing that a powerful gypsy curse worked against their love. With that one beautiful expression of love for her, Angel lost his soul and Angelis returned to continue his evil ways. Devastated though she was, she eventually managed to send him back to the hell that spawned him. But not before people she cared about were hurt and Jenny Calendar was killed. But The Powers That Be saw fit to return him to her, as he was, her Angel. Sweet, caring, loving Angel, with his curse still in effect. So they tried to work together, to be friends and only that, but in the end it was just too hard, for both of them. Angel exiled himself to Los Angeles and became a champion of the weak and down-trodden there, leaving Buffy behind. With the exception of a visit or two, their relationship came to a halt and their love became a dying ember awaiting the day they could be together once again.

His journey began the day after his return to humanity, "I'm human again, this time for good, I hope. The last time this happened I was forced to give it up to become champion again, he thought, but not his time, I've done enough for my fellow man. Now it's my turn for happiness." He walked all day and most of the nights, passing jumbled masses of metal that were once cars. Some still had the remains of occupants inside. He paid them no mind. Onward he traveled, thinking, "I must get to her, she needs me and I need her!

We can be together now!" For days and nights he walked, stopping only when he could no longer move or hunger drove him to forage. So consumed with the thought of seeing her, he didn't even take pleasure in eating human food. After weeks of travel, although he was unaware of how long he had traveled, he saw a large piece of metal lying in his pat. It was vaguely symmetrical, and rounded on the edges. As he passed it, he glanced down, embossed in fading letters just barely visible were the remains of a sign that read 'S n da e.' "I've made it! I'm here! Sunnydale and Buffy!" The thoughts gave him extra strength and heightened his senses to a fever pitch. He began to walk faster, almost running, nearing his goal with tears of joy in his eyes and triumph in his heart. Now for the hard part, finding her, if she was still here. Then a horrible thought, "But what if she didn't make it? Then my coming here was for nothing." He began to doubt her survival even as he surveyed his surroundings. "My God!" There's nothing left. But she has to be here. They wouldn't be so cruel as to send me all this way for nothing. They couldn't!" he said aloud, without realizing he'd spoken. But in his heart he knew 'The Powers That Be' had been deceptive almost to the point of cruelty before. "Please, not this time, let them have no other reason for my being here. Let her be alive and well. I love her and I've traveled so far," he said with tears in his voice and an ache in his newly cleansed soul. Just then a shadow moved from the side of a charred tree and spoke in a voice he remembered well.

"So, you finally returned. I thought you might," she said. "What do you mean, you thought I might?" he responded in kind. "Now you think you can just waltz back into Sunnydale and have me as your lady-love again. I know exactly why you are back, and you may find things a bit different than when you left," she said at length. "Obviously you've become bitter over the years!" Angel retorted angrily. He turned to walk away, chalking up his attempt at reconciliation as misinterpretation of a hallucination. "What! You're just gonna give up and walk away, not even try?" Buffy yelled. "Well, you seem to have your mind made up that you don't want to be with me again, if that's why I came back. I see no reason for me to stay. Now that the apocalypse has actually come and gone, I'm sure there are places that need help rebuilding," he said turning around to face her. "Can't we talk this out? I didn't mean to be bitter, and I don't want to fight. It's all been, well…draining to say the least," Buffy said tiredly.

Together they walk with no destination in mind, just wandering through what was the thriving town of Sunnydale, California, each lost in thought. As they walk, neither speaking, but each remembering what this place was like before. Buffy, her thoughts of the final batter still fresh, remembers how her friends first stood by her side and then died one by one in agony. Angel, in his natural calm way, thinking of the last time he was human and how they almost had their dream over 20 years in the past. He's waiting for her to speak, knowing she will in her own time. Finally they reach the spot where they'd once sat on a blanket and talked in between kissing passionately. The spot overlooked the whole town, or it did when there was a town to overlook. "So, why did you come back?" she asks finally. "I don't know, since the battle was over I started thinking about you and it occurred to me how much I still love you," he said in a rush. "How do you know I still feel the same way. It has been a long time" she said finally. "Buffy, you wouldn't be walking with me now, willing to even consider the future if there wasn't something still there." Angel said. Finally, unable to control his urges any longer, he grabs her, roughly at first and he encounters resistance to his touch. But then, to both their surprise, the embrace becomes familiar and gentle. He kisses her, gently at first then with all the longing 20 years of separation can bring. When they finally step back from one another, both of them are breathless. "Well! That was…" she begins, "Exactly," he finishes for her. They both smile.

Some time later they are sitting in the same spot, looking at the horizon, not for the romantic view, but simply because there is nothing else to see. He tells her everything, every horrid detail. The battle, how they died, his friends, and finally how he was restored to his human form as reward. Then she speaks, amazing even herself as she tells him her story. The epic battle, the race to save the town, which failed. The death of the 'Scooby Gang'. She cries as she gives the grim details and explains how she wandered the town finding their bodies and burying them one by one as she found their remains. Angel holds her and comforts her as best he can, knowing he is little solace for the loss. Finally, when all the talking is done, they begin to think and discuss what to do now. "Maybe what you said earlier about rebuilding, she said. "What about I, he asks I wasn't serious." "Well, couldn't we start here? Rebuilding, I mean. We could start with a place for us, and then help some of the others I've seen. They're afraid to come out, but if they see us rebuilding maybe they will help, at least in theory," she said in traditional Buffy style. Sounds like a plan to me", he smiled.

By dawn, they were both tired and in need of rest. They walked through a town they had taken for granted before. Now, looking at the ruins of 'The Bronze' the local hangout, the destruction finally hit. What kind of world would it be now? "I guess I can cross off a cappuccino"' Buffy said sarcastically. Finally they managed to find an abandoned shop that no one was occupying at the time. Clearing a space in the back of the room, they piled anything soft they could find to lie on and both fell asleep immediately still holding hands. They slept the day away, never moving too far away from one another as if guided by radar for one another. No one bothered them while they slept on and on. They eventually woke at dusk and realized it was the most either of them had slept in a long, long time. Their minds refreshed, but still remembering the discussion of the evening before, they both smiled.

After foraging for food at the remains of houses, they ate. Angel remarking at every bite how wonderful food tasted. Buffy actually laughed at his delight. "He's like a kid again", she thought. The real coop had been finding a tomato vine forgotten in someone's basement the tomatoes were ripe, a bit too ripe actually but tasted fine. "I guess what my mom always said is true, 'you would eat things you don't like if you are really hungry" Buffy remembered. Angel, too busy enjoying food to speak, nodded and smiled and just kept eating. He had tomato juice running down his chin and swiped at it with his sleeve half heartedly, but eventually he even stopped doing this and just kept eating. "I remember the last time this happened. It was by accident, that I became human again. I ate the entire contents of the fridge at the office;" he laughed at the memory. "Cordy kept telling me I'd get fat if I kept that up. I did find out I don't like yogurt though." She was eating much slower and daintier, old habits die hard. "Angel when did that happen, I don't remember you telling me about it?" she asked. "It's a long story, I'll have to tell you sometime," he answered. Wondering to himself, how he was going to explain that he'd had it undone and she was there.

After their meal, they began to survey their new home. At Buffy's suggestion they went to the spot where she and her mother had lived. It was all but gone, the front porch and one wall remained on the back end of the house. The back yard was still intact but all the furniture was either destroyed or missing. So they sat on the stoop and talked about what to do. Neither of them possessing any building knowledge or even having a clue as to how to begin. "Maybe we could just find the tools first and try to make a roof for the back end here so we can at least sleep here," Angel suggested. "Okay," she agreed. "We should be able to find something we can use. It should only be a matter of finding some wood and other various materials to make a rather large roof-like covering for the back porch." "You know, I as thinking, Mom always wanted to screen in the back porch. Maybe we could do that, if we could find some screen. It would allow for air for a fire if should have to build one," Buffy said. "I think I remember seeing a house with a screened in porch a couple of blocks over, and I know I've seen screen doors. We could probably use those to build a frame for it." The two set about getting the necessary tools, screens, and also whatever nails they could find to hold the project together.

It took them most of the next four days by Buffy's count to get the porch finished. It wasn't the Taj Mahal, but it was home. During these days, all the noise they made attracted several people who came closer as the days progressed. Eventually they began to help and talk. Angel spoke to a man who had some knowledge of building, and actually helped put the frame together. After finishing, Buffy and Angel both began to help others find and build suitable shelter for themselves and their families if they and any that is. In the weeks that followed they organized the remaining food, and also replanted the tomato plants Buffy and Angel found. "We're becoming a regular town again," Buffy remarked one evening after finishing their meal. But still neither of them had broached the subject of their relationship and what they wanted to do about it. It apparently was unspoken, by both that they were together, although they had yet to do more than kiss one another. On this night after a relatively easy day of foraging for food and playing with some of the remaining children, neither of them was very tired. Without thinking Angel reached for the love of his life. Now after having eaten for the past few weeks, she looked healthier, and the dark circles were gone from her eyes. She still wore a slightly haunted expression at odd times but she was more or less back to the Buffy he remembered from years before.

He reached for her, had to have her. If he didn't touch her now he felt he would explode. All the feelings he had suppressed for over 20 years were coming to the surface. Looking in her eyes he could see the same feelings mirrored there. The overwhelming passion is more powerful than any being he has ever faced and his heart and soul are taken by it. So powerful it generated it's own heat, hotter than the hell to which she's once sent him. In an instant they grabbed for one another and began to kiss with all the passion of lovers denied for too long. No words spoken just thoughts and feelings merging, melding in the heat of emotion. She moaned as he kissed the nape of her neck, whether out of remembrance of what he once was of from the sensation she did not know, or care. She kissed him back just as fiercely and in moments both were undressed and locked in the throes of desire. Once their lovemaking began the pace slowed. At the end they both screamed he her name and she his, cementing their love for all eternity. Later while lying in each others arms, they decided their destinies had lead them to this moment. "Who are we to deny destiny?" Angel said. "It must be fate." Buffy said, nodding. They fell asleep in each other's arms and a new life began for both of them.