Chapter 1
When Dib Membrane agreed to become mates with Zim, he never really expected children. It seemed impossible. Zim's race was infertile and even if they were able to produce, Zim seemed to be male coded, so there was no way they could have kids, Dib being male himself. He would be lying however if he said he didn't want children. Dib had thought about it, plenty of times, having a child sounded nice. Though Dib was unsure about his parenting skills, due his father never being around during most of his childhood, but he would try. He would be better than his father. Dib would rather die then unknowingly become his dad and succumb his child to the same fate he endured. Being ignored, being abandoned, discouraged for his interests, flat out abused. No. He would be better. So much better.
Zim didn't see the purpose in children, they were just tiny drooling humans as far as he was concerned, not to mention stinky! The Irken saw no use for human babies, other than perhaps to build his own army of kids, but humans were weak, infants even weaker. They wouldn't last. Dib had expressed that they could adopt a human child but Zim didn't really find that idea very appealing. If they had a child, that child had to be thiers, biologically. But that was impossible, sure humans perfected cloning other humans ( Dib was proof of that. Being a clone of his father ) but human cloning technology couldn't possibly handle Zim's amazing and superior Irken DNA! No, what he and Dib needed was Irken technology! The kind of technology used to make smeets, but, how was Zim supposed to get that? Smeet machines were not something that could be sold, they were built in the walls of Smeeteries and its not like you can just waltz over and take one. Zim pondered how to fix this dilemma until he realized he could just make his own! He had the technology! And if anything he could get parts he lacked from that Vortian he was always bargaining with. The Irken smirked triumphantly as he went over to tell his human mate the good news.
Dib had been researching local orphanages in the area via his laptop when Zim came strolling in with a gigantic smirk on his face. Dib sighed, he knew that smirk. That was the I have an amazing plan that I fail to realize will blow up in my face because I don't think my ideas through smirk. Dib sunk in his chair, what was it this time? "Whats your plan, space boy?" Dib asks "Save the big speech about how amazing you are, just tell me so I can list all the reasons why it won't work" Zim continued to smirk, simply strolling up to Dib and closing his laptop shut "Zim! I was doing something important! What the fuck!" Dib yelled, opening his laptop only for Zim to close it again "Whats your problem!?" The alien grabbed Dib's collar shirt, pulling him close. "Forget about adoption" he hissed. Dib raised a confused eyebrow "uhh why?" The irken let go of his human, clenching his fists in a very dramatic fashion "Because I propose something better! We don't have to adopt a stinky human child! We can have our own!" Dib made a face "uhhh no we can't" he retorted "We're both male and your infertile, remember?" Zim looked at Dib "Yes but listen! Irken children. Smeets. They are cloned, using a host DNA. Now humans, they have cloning technology yes? But they're technology is inferior compared to Irken technology of course! And I doubt an Earth cloning device can handle my amazing ZIM DNA" Dib rolled his eyes. Zim continued "So I plan to build a machine that will be able to handle both our DNA without hindrance! A machine that could create our very own smeet! Just think about it Dib" he looked at his mate, tone now very serious "Would you rather have some filthy human stranger's child or your own?"