Hola. So this is my first fanfic... I don't really read these author's notes, especially if they have the words "first fanfic"in them because I assume that they're probably boring speeches about how to not be to critical, but to review nonetheless. Speeches that just prolong the reading of their story... Much like this one right now. I feel like such a hypocrite... Oh well, Review if you like. And enjoy my story! Both are optional though.
Disclaimer: Doesn't belong to me. Obviously.
Draco Malfoy couldn't deny his annoying habit of losing things. He couldn't even recollect the many things he'd lost because the list was too long. Watches, robes, bowties, even his wand at one point. Although his irresponsible attitude towards his possessions continued, he didn't learn his lesson until he lost the most precious thing to him.
As the saying goes, You never realize what you had until it's gone.
The sun shines through the window illuminating the golden beauty's chestnut brown tresses beside him. Last night's unreasonable plan for pleasure and escape from memories was pitiable. Though Rachel… Or River, was a very willing participant, she just couldn't compare with her. All Draco could see was her face, her pleasure, her with him in a white dress. Instead of reminiscing on the painful past he should have been content with being able to think at all at this time on a Sunday morning. For once this past month, no, past year, he wasn't greeted with an aching migraine and no recollections of what had transpired the night before to lead him with another stranger. Last night he was completely sober, completely level-headed, which made the reality of what he did, that much more agonizing.
Draco had stopped acknowledging the Daily Prophet, knowing more news would be there of her; therefore meaning more pain for him, more fits of outrage, and more gorgeous but worthless strangers in the morning. Instead he began reading the Quibbler, as a fruitless attempt at keeping her out his life. Although it hardly affected the impact she had- still has on his being, it eased his ache for her, albeit only a small amount.
But the front page news that he had seen last night could not be avoided. Hell, he didn't even know how he avoided this type of news for this long. She looked striking in her dress, a white strapless number that clung closely to her curves but quite still quite modest for the occasion compared to others who celebrated this day with scraps. Her hair was down, flowing down her back like a chocolate waterfall. Weasley was standing next to her with unrestrained tears flowing down his face.
What an emotional wanker. Although Draco was finding it hard to keep the tears at bay at this point now too.
Of course, she would go back to Weasley, they loved each other after all. No, it was one last fit of deserved vengeance. Draco's ego would not allow any other explanation, and neither could his heart. As he stared at her still figure, his mind reminding himself of every line and crevice, which he used to enjoy to his heart's content. Now, it was all gone, she was gone. The fact that set me off like a rocket was her stomach.
She was pregnant? How could he produce a child with my woman? This thought allowed him to relive all the events that led to their separation, all the pain feeling fresh as an open wound.
If I had not been a bloody coward she would have been mine. The one who's child she could have been carrying. I can't even find the courage to go visit her. Damn it. If I had stayed with her, she would still be bloody breathing right now!
He had reached his breaking point now. He found the first bar he could find and once he spotted the first girl sporting brown hair propositioned her to take her home with him. Of course she agreed, they always did. All of them did, except for her. He made it his mission to make himself forget again, even if it was just for one night.
Lying down next to Rachel? he realized that it hadn't worked. The reality of what he had truly lost was finally hitting him. He had lost her so many times before, but now he had lost her forever. Without a chance of finding her again like he had always done before. Her smile, her touch, the warmth in her chocolate eyes. Gone.
He had treated her as a worthless bint, much like the women who he woke up with in the morning. He was hiding his fear of commitment by throwing her derogatory insults. None of them were true. But nonetheless she left the next morning, never receiving his golden band that represented all his love towards her. The ring that would allow him to wake up every morning with the woman who he was devoted to and to show her all his love to during the night.
How could I have been so naïve? To think that she would wait so long for me? She was ready, she had made that perfectly clear many times… One year she had waited for my proposal, and one year after she left me, I find that she has found the marriage she had always wanted. Only not to me.
She had married Weasley a year before on the day the same day she married him. It was ironic because that was the same day that I felt myself die inside even more than I ever felt before. The only reason I knew of their marriage was of the frilly invitation that was sent which requested my attendance. Frilly wasn't her style so I knew that the design must have been Weasley's idea.
He smirked at his petty jab at Ron before it fell once again. The invitation however was "accidentally" tossed into the fire after 5 seconds of contemplation.
Draco sighed, eliciting a response from his present lover. More like a pleasure pit, he sarcastically commented but kept the statement to himself.
It didn't seem fair to him. Day after day he wished that he could have her again. But now it was too late. She was gone from his life like he had hoped for so many times beforehand.
But he knew all the pain that would be inflicted upon him would be voluntary and deserved.
Because he loved Granger.