Hey guys. This is just a one-shot I wrote on a whim. Figured it would be fun to write Edd as something more than just the adorkable nerd we are so fond of. And not reverse!Edd style, but rather just himself with a twist. Kind of like that one church girl who can recite the bible word for word and then turn around pole dance like a pro. You know what I'm talking about right? You know what I'm talking about.
Warning: Filth of the sexy variety up ahead.
Enjoy!
What you don't know is that I know.
I know you watch me when you think I'm not paying attention, your hungry eyes devouring every inch of my person as you starve for something primal just inches from my bedroom window. You think I don't notice when your gaze rakes over my form, splitting apart the threads of my clothing and enduring the long anxious hour it takes for me to get ready for bed. First I shower, then I enter my room, and like a loyal hound you are there waiting for me. Watching. Yearning for that which you cannot touch.
I am the idol you cannot possess.
I know the things you think about when you watch me. The questions that run through your mind, the images that haunt you like an avenging specter. I am close and yet so far away. Within reach and yet untouchable; but you don't that very much do you? Lust. Want. Desire. Call it what you will. I refer to our 'pleasant time in silence' as my hour of identity.
With a mind so focused on the future it is within this moment of great personal violation that I find the freedom to be. I just cannot resist the urge to stand where I do, when I do, to slow my movements so that your predatory eyes can follow. There are times when you cannot see my face. I don't want you to recognize the pure delight that fills me when my body has been so fully committed to your memory. It is a place I cannot go to but just knowing you can map me inch by silken inch is enough to play to me like a well-worn instrument.
You file your bow across my strings like Mozart; stain my canvas so beautifully I could call you my very own Van Goh.
Much hasn't been said between us. In reality we are worlds apart. Planets forever out of alignment. I should close my curtain on nights like these but like the tie that holds the heavy drapery to my wall I become completely undone. Your presence alone beckons me forth and I am not one to deny the very nature of our being. Besides, it's more exciting this way.
Most people seek out perfection. Beauty to them is the trophy to be had. It is that kind of naivety that truly puts me out. Somehow you must see something entirely different from the rest. The good in the bad and in the ugly, that of which I am a part of. Do not mistake my words for self-deprecation. I just love and honor myself enough to recognize that I not a perfect. And I prefer it that way. I choose not to play into the hands of those who try and place me upon some pedestal. I have neither the time nor the patience for that dribble.
But then you must be wondering, Edward, how on earth could this be? You're so smart. So accomplished. Why not strive for more? You could be better than everybody else in this one horse town.
I don't want more. I don't want to be better than anybody else. I am at peace with my being and with the universe. I do as I do and I never harm others. I feel. I think. And like any other human being I lust. I crave. I desire. See, I am more than capable of many things but like you what I want cannot be granted so easily. I have a darker side of me. A very human, very greedy side that goes against everything the worlds sees me as. I don't particularly care how the rest of the world sees me but you, oh you sweet decadent anomaly. You haven't the slightest clue.
Just how shocked would you be if you knew I smoked marijuana? Or drank at concerts. Or how often I've considered sneaking ecstasy into your cup when you aren't looking. Oh don't look at me that way. You know I cannot resist those beautiful depths. A fire's got to burn, so let my imagination flow. I would never hinder yours. Your health is of great concern to me however I would be lying if I said I haven't dared considered the benefits. See? No perfection to be found here. In fact it might have even scared you away if I said as such, but that is the beauty of our silent rendezvous. We can think and feel all we want. To let our sins carry forth unhindered by the threat of discontent.
That's the type people we are Kevin. Unhinged. There are those who press the play button and then those of us who hit record. Think about it. Let it stew in your mind. No need to open those pretty lips of yours. Just continue to watch me. Let me get off on you getting off on me. Let this moral snuff play out to the very end. Leave me breathless as if you have ravaged me for hours. Slap that sneaky grin off my face by pounding my conscience like the bitch you want me to be. I want to be left feeling completely used and there is no one better qualified than you to do the job.
It tickles my heart when you bite nervously at your nails. It's as if you are anticipating my finding you out. It would take so very little effort to open my window and invite you in but once more we are the mercy of our discretions. You, the football star with a cheerleader girlfriend, and I the nerd with too many spelling bee trophies to count. It wasn't ever meant to be and yet we have somehow bypassed the laws of the world for just a taste of the forbidden fruit. And I so eagerly wait for the day I am able to lick that sweetened juice from your lips. But not quite yet.
Perhaps it will never happen so let us allow ourselves to indulge in the fantasy for just a little while longer.
Yes. That's it. Reach your hand further down your trousers. Play with the stubble you haven't yet shaven off your belly until you reach the top of that sweet spot. Stay your hand. Yes just like that. I know how you are. You like to be teased. I only wish it could be my hand instead of yours, touching and caressing that which seeks more than just the attention of your right hand. My lips would certainly suffice but for not just imagine your hand as my own, plucking away at the button of your jeans until they came undone. Taking hold of the little silver zipper and watching it gleam off my bedroom light as I stand before you in my entire naked glory.
I watch you in the mirror I strategically placed on my bookshelf. I placed it there so you cannot see it but I have full view of you as well. We are on equal grounds though I am not able to fully turn without you ducking out of sight. The bushes behind you are tall enough to hide me from the prying eyes of others so it is just you and I. Don't hold back. Take as much as you are willing to receive and I shall do the same.
Watch me Kevin. Watch me as I rub lotion up along the curve of my legs. My fingers so barely miss their target but the affect I get from you is well worth the personal tease. You shudder as though on command and I your secret puppeteer do so again, my balls flexing from the air light brush of my finger tips and you inhaling as much oxygen as your lungs can hold before they feel ready to explode.
I go out of my way to lay on my bed with one knee up and your hand freezes over your engorged shaft. You hot and ready to take. I am supple and ready to receive yet you do not see that. Yet. Not until a moment has passed when I so 'suddenly' decide to get off. No I will not open my window to you but a man has needs. Surely you must grow bored with watching me dress in my table of elements pajamas. Even if I do leave my shirt off time to time, I mustn't have you grow content with just that. In this I aim to thrill. And nothing less.
I reach into my night stand and grant you full view of my backside. You are too busy eyeing every inch of my buttocks to notice the smirk that plays upon my face. I quickly wipe it off before you have a chance to notice and instead turn back over. To your utter delight you see I hold lubricant in my hands. Yes we both know where this is going. No need to second guess or kid ourselves. Just sit back and enjoy the show. I know I will.
It takes a matter of seconds to find the lubricant on my hands rather than in it, stroking with precise measure across my standing shaft. I start off slow, easing my tightened fingers around the base until the entirety has felt the cup of my palm. I pretend it isn't my hand that touches me, but rather yours. I close my eyes, though I do not want to, and picture your roman body atop of mine. Those eyes that follow me continue to do so, a hand thicker and tighter than mine coaxing the inner devil that I am out of my shell.
In my night stand is my favorite toy. All it is, is a silicone piece. It doesn't vibrate but it's quite soft. The shape is typical, with a plush head and sizeable enough neck. I slick that baby up until I am almost unable to hold it. I can't see you this way but I can tell you are salivating. I know how you play so well I don't need to see just when it is your hand continues to move. You spit on your dick to slick it up and I can't help but laugh a little.
I pretend to think I am being silly by doing this, easing the toy away from me to make it look like I am having second thoughts. The good boy persona I play is for your pleasure, not mine. Inevitably the toy finds its way back into my grip and so I breathe as evenly as I can to prepare for penetration. You do the same. You prepare for it, squeezing your fist so tight that you can't imagine it being any other orifice than mine. You nibble your lips as you watch the toy in my hand and imagine that it is the head of your dick pressing into me and not the toy. Your hand begins to float down and both our eyes roll into the backs of our heads.
Pure adulterated bliss.
Neither of us can hold back for long. The hour is almost up so we must live it out as freely and as wildly as we can. For now you are in my hands. You are at the whim of my will and I so love having that power over you. I've seen the way you stare at girls as they walk by. A mere campfire in the wake of the inferno that engulfs you when you look my way. And I would not judge so crassly if only you would meet my eyes in the hall! I want badly to break the invisible barrier between us but alas the world you live in shall not, cannot, and will not cross mine. We are star crossed lovers destined for ruin. I can't emphasis this enough. I need your attention as much as any woman who has flaunted her way towards you. How desperately I want to be the one you hold, the ear to whom you whisper sweet intoxicating nothings to.
I imagine us together in the halls of our school. Alone. In a crowd. It doesn't matter. The noise is far from us as we dance near the point of no return. I am the first to reach out and you so happily accept as I fall into you again and again. With my back pressed against the locker doors you lift me with incredible ease. Those arms of yours have always been my fetish. I salivate over the thought of nibble on the taught muscle that holds me. Sinking my teeth into firm shoulder that anchors my focus as you drive home just how desperately in need you are of me. I imagine you taste like licorice.
My toes curl so tightly I nearly give myself a cramp. My apologies. I do get carried away with my fantasies. It's only my body's natural response to its needs but it's no excuse for having you left unattended. You have waited so patiently, your hand stroking the depths of your pants as you watch my facial expression morph from one lusty smile to another. Allow me to fix this mishap of mine as I further insert the toy. I do not stop until it is seated fully in me, the familiar ache adding fuel to an already blazing fire. My prostate is aggravated in the best of ways so I further the torture. In and out the toy goes. I take my time finding to find a rhythm and like a concert pianist I am able to manipulate the contraption in my hand to play a willful song that pours forth from my mouth. My moans and groans are but distant cries to you but you hear them all the same.
I put on a show just for you. I shed my daily armor, break down the walls that divide us when you come to visit. I have given myself to you so loyally and yet you will never know. Even when you dump yourself into the pit of a woman I know it is I who you think of. Not the whore you sleep around with behind your girlfriend's back. Not the nameless female you visit after our encounter who lets you fuck her in the ass because you've got the cash to make it happen.
It is I who tempts you. Me, Eddward, the nerdy little pipsqueak who drives you to be unfaithful. And I relish the fact that no one else in your life can push you and torment you the way I do.
You may think you are in control but sweetly is the fruit that kills. Your pretty little girlfriend wouldn't even get the time of day from you if it weren't for my interception. I see the way you cling to her when I step into the room and I find it sardonically funny. Truly I am the Hades to your Persephone and no one else may have you the way I do. After all it is not her window you look through, but mine.
Post haste, my mind cries. There isn't much time left.
Soon you will be on your way and I will be left naked and alone with no one to run to; but that is ok. I have grown use to your absence. Makes the heart grow fonder after all.
The toy surges in and my back arches as the thought of your driving right into me. This is not a moment of love making. On the contrary it is quick and primal. Almost urgent. You take what you can get and I do so in kind. I will not stop until I have reached my peak and I take full advantage of that fact that you will patiently wait until I cum and then spray my rose bushes with your seed like you are some dog marking its territory.
Always the proper gentleman. Or animal. I'll take you either way dear Kevin.
My sheets become twisted and your brow tenses. A bead of sweat trickles down your thigh and I imagine lapping it right up. Call me your dirty boy. Call me something filthy. Stroke my inner deviant until it drives me mad!
Faster the toy plunges and I begin to see stars.
I am so very close and so are you. Your hand is an unstoppable machine, gripping and tugging until your body can no longer stand to crouch. You are forced to your knees but you hardly show concern for your dirtied pants as your eyes flicker back and forth between my face and my throbbing erection. It's so full and hardened it almost hurts.
One last trick before you go. I've been wanting to do this for a while now. I hadn't built up the courage to do so yet but now was a good a time as any. Before I allow myself to peak I throw myself onto my knees. Your expression is priceless I wish I could turn my head and see it for myself. Didn't know I could be so adventurous, did you?
I thrust my erection into the palm of my hand as the toy remains stagnant but I am so at ease the building friction only adds to the pleasure of it all. I feel the toy slightly move as I roll my hips and you are so out of breath your face begins to burn like the cherry end of a cigarette. I keep my face pressed into the pillow to keep from looking directly at you. I can't scare you off just yet. Not while we're both so close. I'd be a terrible secret lover if I so chose to end it for you now.
My hand is so slick I nearly trip out of my own palm. How embarrassing. It seems I am getting a bit carried away again but do not feel the need to hold yourself back. I love it when you lose control. God just thinking about it is enough to tip me over the edge. One last fantasy is all I need and without you to look at I am forced to bite angrily into my pillow. How badly I want to stare into your beautiful eyes as I cum. It breaks my heart at times to remain as stoic as I do afterwards. Because I know when I turn over in the wake of my afterglow that you will not be there.
Oh well. So is the tragic epilogue we have written for ourselves.
I pretend I am not alone like I so frequently am. I pretend it is you who are pounding into me from behind, reaching around to stroke and goad me to my finishing point. Your heavy voice whispers into my ear that you couldn't possibly want another. That the women in your life are just dimes in a bucket compared to my treasure trove. I love imagining you talking dirty to me. Such filth spilling forth from lips so beautifully sculpted. Exotic.
I lose my breath for just a second as my world begins to turn. My vision begins to blacken out and I know that I am closer than ever before. You are close too. Your eyes pinched shut and straining to stay open as you watch me. I thrust faster and grip harder and you are quick to follow suit. I drive harder and harder, begging into the open air until my taught body can no longer stand the friction and you lose all control. I ejaculate, hard, and the spots dancing in my eyes turn white as you fall back. My lovely rose bushes are painted with your essence and I cannot wait to pluck one of them to carry with me to class in the morning. I spill freely into my hand for several seconds, gravity reintroducing itself as my system shuts down and reboots itself.
It feels as though I have never taken a breath of fresh air before. I can't inhale enough of it in. My heart pounds like a jackhammer in my chest and my body collapses upon itself. I turn onto my side, peeking up at my book shelf mirror to see you still watching me. Your eyes are glazed and your face is red but you are satiated. So am I. For now at least. Until you return. My dirtied hand touches my shoulder, smearing my seed and I see you licking your lips.
Now, now. The hour is up. It is time for you go, though neither of us want that. It is time for you to seek out your whore and lay her body to waste. She is lucky, I suppose, to get to feel you in a way I can't but like I said before no one has you so perfectly tied around his finger as I. I know. I don't want you to go either but rules are rules. Bend them as you see fit but don't go breaking them. Not if you want this to continue. And when you return I will be as I always have: waiting in my room, freshly showered and none the wiser. Your incognizant prey at the ready to put on a show.
Don't worry. By morning all of this will have passed like last year's Thanksgiving. It's easy to forget when we have to return to our separate lives however I hope I left enough of an impression that there is certainly more to me than the dorky boy you so passionately stalk on the weekends. You see, love bites but so do I.
Until next time my unwitting lover. Until next time.