Title: Breaking The Girl
Author: xperimental
Rating: T
Fandom: Home And Away/Surprise crossover
Pairing: Charlie/Joey, eventually Ruby/Nicole
Disclaimer: Do I look like a crack monkey? No? Well, I obviously don't own them then.
Summary: When Joey returns to the Bay, she discovers that things have changed in her absence, for the worse.

Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You're breaking the girl
She meant you no harm

The first thing Joey Collins did after arriving back in Summer Bay was dump her belongings at her old family home. The second was to go out in search of caffeine.

Her last night on the boat had been a sleepless one. She was too keyed up about seeing Charlie again that sleep had eluded her and by the time four am had rolled around, Joey had given up on it completely and headed topside.

The time at sea had given her plenty of time to think, sorting fish and scrubbing down decks wasn't exactly the most complicated job in the world. She'd come to the conclusion that mistakes had been made, by both of them. Mostly by Charlie, sure, but Joey knew that she wasn't entirely blameless herself. But in that brief time before everything went to hell, things had been amazing between them and they'd both been happy. And Joey knew that if there was even a slight chance that they could have that again, then she owed it to herself to take it.

Luckily, Joey managed to drag herself all the way to the Diner without collapsing from exhaustion, praying with every step that she didn't run into Charlie in her fatigued state. She feared that any attempt at a meaningful conversation with her former lover would end up with her talking gibberish thanks to caffeine deprivation.

Pausing in the doorway, Joey stealthily cased the joint for any sign of Aden or her former housemates, to her eternal relief the coast appeared to be clear and she was able to walk into the Diner with her head held high.

"Oh, Joey pet," Colleen greeted her in her typically perky way. She thought that Joey was such a nice, helpful girl, shame about the lesbianism but nobody was perfect. "When did you get back from your trip?"

"Uh, a while ago," Joey answered, deliberately being vague. "Can I get a coffee to go?"

Colleen nodded and went to work making the beverage, keeping up a endless stream of mindless chatter as she worked. "It's such a shame that things didn't work out between you and Senior Constable Buckton. She's better off with you rather than that murderer Angelo Risotto, if you ask me, even if you are both girls."

Joey blinked, stunned. 'Of course Charlie's gone back to being with a man,' she thought bitterly 'Face it, Jo, you were nothing but her little gay experiment.' She quickly put her poker face on as Colleen turned around with her coffee in hand. "Thanks, Colleen." She handed the elderly gossipmonger a five dollar note in exchange for her coffee. "Keep the change," she said over her shoulder as she rushed for the exit. She had to get out of there.

Keeping her head down, she didn't notice Ruby and Xavier approaching the Diner from the beach.

"Was that Joey?" Xavier wondered out loud. Of course it was, otherwise Ruby wouldn't have stopped dead in her tracks the second that she had spotted her.

"I think it was." Oh, this was so not good.

-

"Charlie!" Ruby yelled, almost skidding on the kitchen tiles as she ran into the home she shared with her sister. "Charlie!"

"Ruby?" Charlie came hurtling out of her bedroom, concerned for her sister's welfare. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Joey's back," Ruby panted, out of breath from running all the way home from the Diner. After the suspected Joey sighting, she and Xavier had made their way inside, only to receive confirmation from Colleen that Joey was indeed back and had seemed rather upset when Colleen had mentioned that Charlie and Angelo were together.

Charlie froze, her hands slipping from her sister's arms. Those were two words that she'd never expected to hear. She had tried to cling to Joey's promise that she would be back in three months and maybe then things would be different, but when she didn't hear a word from the younger girl, she honestly thought that she was never going to see her again.

"She knows about you and Angelo."

Feeling numb, Charlie stumbled to the couch and sat down. No, this couldn't be happening. She was still asleep. This was just a bad dream.

"Charlie, did you hear what I said?" Ruby questioned, sitting on the arm of the chair. "Colleen told her-"

"I heard you."

Ruby waited for something more but Charlie just kept quiet, blankly staring at the dormant television.

"So what are you going to do about it?" she finally asked, nudging her sister softly.

"What can I do?" Charlie's voice cracked. "She obviously doesn't want to see me, otherwise she would've told me that she was back."

"You don't know that."

Charlie shrugged and slumped back against the cushions, looking crushed. "How else do you explain it?"

Ruby rolled her eyes, she'd about had it with Charlie's miserable, self-destructive attitude. "Maybe she didn't have the chance too, maybe she was going to come find you before Colleen spilled the beans. You need to go and see her. You owe her an explanation."

Charlie scoffed. "An explanation? What the hell am I going to say? Whatever I do is just going to make her hate me more." I doubt me showing up on Joey's doorstep being all 'Hi, I thought you weren't coming back so I started dating my male colleague. Sorry about that.' is going to help matters.

For Ruby, this was the last straw. She had seen first hand how well Charlie and Joey worked together, how happy they made each other, and yeah, maybe she had been upset about it at first, but once the shock had worn off, she realized that being with Joey was the best thing that had ever happened to her sister. She wasn't going to let Charlie throw that away again because she was gutless.

"Charlie Buckton!" Charlie sat up ramrod straight in response to the authoritarian tone in her little sister's voice. It was like she was back at the academy. "You get up right now!"

Charlie jumped to her feet, looking a shocked. She'd never known Ruby to be so forceful. It was kind of scary.

"Now you're going to go straight round to Joey's house and apologize to her," Ruby ordered, pushing Charlie along towards the front door.

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

"I don't know! Get down on your knees and beg if you have to. Just fix this."

"Ruby, wait," Charlie whined, baulking as they reached the doorway.

"What now?"

"I need my cars keys."

Ruby wrenched the front door open and pushed her sister out it. "The walk will do you good." She almost softened a little at the confused and almost terrified look on Charlie's face. She felt bad, but she knew Charlie better than Charlie knew herself, and she knew that she needed to be pushed right now or she'd keep putting it off until she accidentally ran into Joey and had no other choice. "And don't come back until you've talked to her. I'm serious, Charlie."

Realizing that there was no use in arguing with Ruby and knowing that her little sister really was right, Charlie sighed and turned around, beginning the long walk to the home of her ex-girlfriend, wondering what the hell she was going to say when she got there.

-

By the time Charlie reached Joey's house, night was starting to fall. Ruby had been right, the walk had done her good. It had helped her get over the shock of hearing that the love of her life was back in town and make a firm decision about what she was going to do about it.

Determined, Charlie unlatched the gate and made her way up the steps to the house. Barely a minute after she'd wrapped her knuckles against the door, it swung open, only to almost immediately swing back shut again once Joey caught sight of who was on the other side.

"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me," Charlie said, stopping the door from closing completely.

Joey sighed, pressing her head against the doorframe. She'd spent the better part of an hour that afternoon crying over the woman standing in front of her and now she was just angry.

Charlie swallowed hard as Joey glared at her. The time away had done wonders for the younger girl. She looked amazing. "Please?"

"So talk," said Joey, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. The last thing she needed was Brett finding out that Charlie was here.

"You look amazing," Charlie blurted out before she could stop herself. Joey rolled her eyes and turned to make her way back inside. "Wait!" Charlie cried, grabbing her arm to stop her. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out…but you do."

"Charlie…"

Charlie held her hands up placating. "I know. I don't have any right to say that to you."

"No." Joey folded her arms across her stomach. "You don't."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming back?"

"I assumed you knew how to read a calendar," she bit out, smiling sarcastically. "Silly me!"

Obviously, Joey wasn't going to make this easy on her. Not that Charlie blamed her. "I-"

"You're dating Angelo," Joey stated bluntly, wondering if Charlie would lie to her again.

"Yes," Charlie whispered.

"Do you love him?"

"No. I love you."

"Oh, this sounds familiar," Joey remarked, shaking her head in disbelief. "So how did you end up with him? Did someone call you gay again and you felt the need to take a flying leap back inside the closet?"

"No! It wasn't like that," Charlie denied. She was telling the truth, she honestly didn't care what people said about her. Not anymore, not after all it had cost her.

But, as Charlie found out when she had done some research, you couldn't just be gay. Oh no, there was a whole other set of labels that came with it. Her head had spun as she trawled through websites, trying to figure out if she would be classified as femme or lipstick, maybe soft butch when she was in uniform, or as something else altogether, and attempting to decipher if she was a top or a bottom or a switchhitter. It was all so complicated and hard, that in the end it didn't seem like it was worth the trouble. Joey was gone and she was never coming back. Why go opening a whole other can of worms like that for no reason.

"So why, Charlie?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"I suppose it's really all my fault," Joey said with a self-decrepitating laugh.

"It is?" Charlie was confused.

Joey nodded. "Yeah, you couldn't handle one night apart before you threw yourself at the nearest willing male, I don't know how I expected you to last three months. Stupid of me, really."

"It wasn't like that," Charlie desperately tried to explain. "I didn't mean for anything to happened with Angelo-"

"Seems to me you do a lot of things without meaning to. You didn't mean to fall for me. You didn't mean to sleep with Hugo. You didn't mean to hurt me."

"I never wanted to hurt you," Charlie said softly, she didn't think she could hate herself any more. Apparently, she had been wrong.

"That's funny, because that's all you ever seem to do," Joey bit out. "Face it, Charlie, we're not good for each other."

"That's not true. I've never been happier than when I was with you."

Joey shrugged nonchalantly. "Okay, so maybe I'm good for you but you sure as hell aren't good for me."

"But I can be, I know I can. Joey, just give me one more chance and I'll spend every day proving it to you."

"I can't. Charlie, I can't be with you."

"But you still love me."

"Of course I do." It pained Joey to admit it but she couldn't bring herself to lie. "But I don't trust you and I don't think I ever will. Not after this."

"Joey, please-" Charlie pleaded tearfully.

"Have you even broken up with Angelo yet?"

Charlie shamefully dropped her gaze to her shoes. Truth was, she hadn't even given her a boyfriend a second thought since her sister had announced that Joey was back in town.

"I'm guessing that's a no." Joey glared at her with cold, black eyes. "Go home to your boyfriend, Charlie."

Before Charlie could utter another word, Joey was gone; hidden behind the wooden door that was being shut in her face.

-

"You didn't have to wait up for me," Charlie said, walking into the kitchen to find Ruby sitting at the table, scribbling in a notebook. After her confrontation with Joey, Charlie had taken a walk along the beach to try and clear her head…and to give herself some time to stop crying.

"I wasn't waiting for you," Ruby scoffed, closing the notebook she'd been aimlessly doodling in. "I was doing homework. But since we're both up, how'd it go?" She leaned forward, eager for gossip.

"She hates me." Charlie slumped into the chair opposite her little sister. "I don't blame her."

"I'm sure she doesn't really hate you," Ruby said, trying to be sympathetic.

"She said that all I ever did was hurt her."

Ruby cringed on Charlie's behalf. The truth always hurt the worst. "She has a point."

"What?" Charlie yelped with a wounded expression. Ruby was supposed to be trying to make her feel better, not worse.

"Look at it from her point of view. You got her kicked out of her home, led her on and then when she made a move, told her that it was all in her head and avoided her to the point where she felt like he had no choice but to leave here, which lead to her almost being killed by the guy that raped her. Then you kissed her, tried to pretend it didn't happen and bailed on her the day after her attempted murder. Came back to tell her that you had feelings for her but nothing was ever going to happen between the two of you, thus breaking her heart and leading to her moving out for the second time within a week." Ruby paused to catch her breath before continuing her laundry list of Charlie's misdeeds.

"Then you chased after her, told her you loved her and wanted to be with her, moved her back in here. But at the first sign of trouble, you cheated on her with Hugo, proceeded to lie about it until she figured it out for herself, forcing her to move out of here for the third time. Chased her down as she was about to leave town and instead of delivering the impassioned speech she needed to hear, the best you could come up with was telling her that she forgot her iPod." Ruby rolled her eyes. She'd very nearly smacked Charlie upside the head, the day she'd revealed what had gone down on the dock. "Then after three months of pining away for you at sea, imaging that you were doing the same for her, I assume. She comes back to find out that you've moved on with a man. Sorry, Charlz, but I'm totally on Team Joey on this one," she concluded. "She deserves so much better than that."

"When you put it all together like that it sounds really bad." Charlie muttered, feeling sick when faced with the reality of all the suffering that she had put the girl she loved through. "I officially suck."

"Not going to get any argument from me."

"What am I going to do, Rubes?" Charlie looked up at her little sister with watery blue eyes, pleading with her to find a way to make it all better. It was times like this when it was easy to forget which one of them was the adult in the relationship.

"You can break up with Angelo for a start." Honestly, nothing would make Ruby happier than seeing Joey and Charlie back together and Angelo out of the picture.

"I can't."

Ruby couldn't believe her ears. "Why not?" How was she supposed to help her sister when Charlie couldn't be bothered to make the effort to help herself?

"Because I don't want to be alone."

Ruby couldn't help but soften at her sister's pathetic confession. "You won't be alone, Charlz, you'll always have me."

"Until I drive you away as well."

"That's never going to happen. You're my sister, I have to love you…No matter how much of a dumbass you can be."

"Hey!"

Ruby shrugged and moved around the kitchen gathering the necessary supplies. "Now, tonight and only tonight, we get to have a pity party," Ruby said, setting an open container of ice cream and a spoon down on the table in front of her pouting older sister. "But as of tomorrow, you're getting no sympathy from me until you get your ass in gear and do something to fix this."

Charlie nodded and stared glumly at the ice cream sitting in front of her. "I'm an awful person, I don't deserve ice cream." Of course, that didn't stop her from digging into it a second later.

-

The next morning, somehow the route of Charlie's morning run had changed without her really noticing and lead her straight back to Joey's house. She'd been intending to swing by later to apologize but once she saw that Joey was out in the yard, bringing in the washing, she decided that there was no time like the present.

But all thoughts off apologizing were forced out of her head as soon as Charlie saw the For Sale sign that was standing by the fence.

"You're selling the house?"

Joey rolled her eyes at Charlie's sudden appearance and carelessly tossed the last item of dry clothing into the washing basket. "Yes, not that it's really any of your business. Brett and I are going to split the money and go our separate ways. He's going to move to the city."

"And what about you?"

Joey grimaced at the question, she knew that she'd be perfectly justified in not giving Charlie an answer but she couldn't find it within herself to be quite that cruel. "Between what I made on the long haul job and what I'll get from the sale of the house I'll have enough to get myself a pretty decent boat. I thought I'd head up north. Queensland, maybe."

"You're going to leave town?" But you just got back.

"Why the hell would I want to stay?" she snapped. "There's nothing left here for me except bad memories." She sighed at the stricken look on her ex-girlfriends face and softened. "Why are you here, Charlie?"

Charlie swallowed back tears and tried to focus on the speech she'd mentally prepared that morning. "I came to apologize. You were right in what you said last night. I hurt you. A lot. And I'm sorry. It's not fair that you got hurt because just I'm such a disaster area when it comes to relationships. Ruby says that I'm emotionally retarded," she finished with a little laugh.

"That's a polite way of putting it," said Joey, stony-faced. Charlie couldn't disguise the hurt that flashed across her face and it made Joey feel guilty, despite herself. Hurting Charlie wasn't making herself feel any better. She bit her lip and dropped her arms from where they'd been defensively crossed across her stomach. "Thank you, for the apology," she said, managing a small but genuine smile for her ex.

Charlie nodded and grinned back, encouraged by Joey's smile.

They stood awkwardly in silence, Charlie waiting for Joey to continue the conversation and Joey waiting for Charlie to end it so she could get on with what she had to do that day.

"Is there anything else you wanted?" Joey finally prompted.

Charlie started nervously fiddling with her hands. "I thought that maybe we could hang out, get some coffee or something, you could tell me about your trip," she said with so much over the top enthusiasm that she was inwardly cringing.

Joey looked at her blankly, struggling to try and understand how the older woman could possibly think that was a good idea. "Are you serious?"

"I missed you." Charlie shrugged helplessly. "We can still be friends, can't we?" she practically begged.

Joey stared at her with even more disbelief that she had the last time that Charlie had asked her that question, in that hotel room so long ago, before shaking her head and turning her back on her ex-girlfriend. "Goodbye, Charlie," she said coldly over her shoulder, only stopping to pick up the laundry on her way back into the house.

"I honestly never wanted for anything to happen between me and Angelo!" Charlie said suddenly, stopping Joey in her tracks. "There was just this attraction between us that was hard to fight."

"Did you even try?" Joey turned slowly, her demeanour positively frosty.

"You know that day on the dock, I was so close to giving in. If you had pushed just a little harder, I probably would've stayed," she revealed. "But I left and then spent three months regretting it. Now I'm glad because apparently, you would've just ended up dumping me for Angelo anyway."

"No," Charlie gasped, feeling sick. How could Joey think that? "I wouldn't have. This never would have happened if you'd stayed!"

Joey raised an eyebrow. "So this is my fault now?"

"That's not what I meant," said Charlie, verging on tears and cursing her inability to say the right thing. "Please Joey, I'll do anything to make this up to you. I swear."

"Anything?"

Charlie nodded, the barest flicker of hope sparking up in her. "Anything."

"Then stay the hell away from me."

And with that Joey turned her back on Charlie for the second time that day.

-

"Good morning, sunshine," Ruby chirped, swanning into the kitchen like she hadn't slept in until midday. She frowned at Charlie who was sitting at the table glaring at her cup of coffee. "Or not. What did that mug ever do to you?"

"What?" Charlie mumbled, too distracted by her thoughts to properly absorb her sister's ramblings. "Nothing."

Ruby bit her lip and leaned her back against the counter, observing the older brunette's depressed form. "Let me guess, you saw Joey?"

Charlie nodded.

"And it didn't go well?" Ruby ventured a guess.

"In a word; no."

"What happened?"

"I apologized, she accepted and then stupid me, I had to push it."

"Oh god, what did you do now?" Ruby groaned.

"I may have asked if we could hang out and have coffee together."

"Too soon, Charlie!"

"I know that now!" Charlie snapped. She'd known it the second it had left her mouth. "Anyway, she didn't react very well to that idea, so I kind of blurted out that-"

"Let me guess," Ruby interrupted. "You just couldn't fight your attraction to Angelo?" She'd heard Charlie say that so many times, in defence of her relationship with the man who'd murdered Martha's husband, that it had become burned into her brain.

Charlie nodded, feeling ashamed. "And then I…may have implied that it never would have happened if she hadn't left."

"Charlie!" Ruby cried, burying her face in her hands. "I can't believe you blamed her for your mistake. That's really messed up."

"I know it is. And that's why I've come to the decision that I have to let her go."

"Wait, what?" Ruby stuttered. "I thought you loved her."

"I do. But she asked me to leave her alone. After everything I put Joey through, I figure that the least I can do is honour that request."

"You're just giving up?"

"It's not that simple. Ruby, Joey and I were barely together for two weeks…"

"So?"

"So, look at how much I've already hurt her and it's like every time I go near her I just keep doing more damage. You were right, I don't deserve her."

"I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to get you to realize what a bitch you were to her." This wasn't going at all like Ruby had imagined it. Charlie was supposed to dump Angelo, win Joey back and then they could all be happy again. "Please tell me that you're going to break up with Angelo, at least."

"…I'm not."

"Are you kidding me?" Ruby yelped in disbelief. "Why not?"

"Because." Because it was convenient. Because it was better than being alone. Because it hurt less to have people hating you and whispering about you behind your back because you're dating a murderer, than it did just because you were in love with a girl. "Things with Angelo are…easy, we have a lot in common."

"But you don't love him."

"And he doesn't love me either. It's better this way, he can't hurt me and I can't hurt him." Charlie sighed at the disapproval that was written all over her Ruby's face. "You'll understand when you're older, Rubes."

"No, I won't," Ruby said firmly. "It doesn't matter how old I get, I'll never understand settling for someone that you're not in love with."

"She doesn't want me, Ruby! What am I supposed to do?" Charlie finally cried, frustrated by her sister's accusatory tone.

"Well, I'd tell you to fight for her but we all know how that turned out." Ruby shook her head in disgust. She didn't understand why Charlie had to make things so hard on herself. "I'm going to Nicole's."

-

TBC