It's going to rain today. He could feel it: the flies buzzing lazily through the air, the humidity so thick you could cut it with a knife, the clouds slowly rolling in.
He stood at attention with the other soldiers, saluting his closest friend as the pallbearers carried the coffin past. He slowly lowered his hand and his fingers automatically began tracing a transmutation circle in the air as he desperately sought to remember the array for a human transmutation. Maes, you didn't deserve this, he thought angrily. I would sacrifice half of the army to bring you back.
He was angry at himself. How long had he known Maes? He should have known that something was wrong. He should have been in Central weeks ago. But he had gone about his own business, pretending that everything was all right. Damn it! He should have known something was wrong when Maes had managed to avoid his inquiries. He should have been…
It wasn't supposed to be this way!
The anxiety had grown in the pit of his stomach during the entire train ride. Something in Maes' voice worried him and so he and Riza had hopped on the first train to Central. Riza had sensed his state of mind and it made her uneasy. The trip had been silent, each listening to the sound of their own thoughts. As they drew closer to Central, the urge to stop the train and turn back grew. He pushed it away though, determined to find Maes and beat the truth out of him if necessary.
They entered the barracks and were met by one of the Fuhrer's underlings who immediately escorted them to his office. His unease grew even as they saluted the Fuhrer. He told them about finding Maes' body near a telephone booth. Behind him, he heard Riza gasp and he could imagine her covering her mouth as if to hold a scream in. He was shocked and could only stare straight ahead, clenching his jaw until it ached.
He left Riza behind and traveled to Maes' house. Gracia had already been notified. She appeared calm and collected until he had shut the door behind him, then she had fallen apart, sobbing into his chest. He hugged her, unsure of what words he could say, knowing that anything he said wouldn't comfort her and so he said nothing.
"If they bury Daddy, he can't finish his work!" Elicia's voice cut through his thoughts and tears unexpectedly stung his eyes as she begged Gracia to stop them from burying Maes.
Why did you trust me, Maes? He wanted to ask him, wanted to scream the words at him. We've been together for so long, been through so much. You were supposed to be at my side when I reached the top. I trusted you! I told you everything! Why didn't you return that trust?
Again, his fingers traced an array, only partially remembered. There was something missing, some key symbol. If he only remembered it, he could bring Maes back. At one time, he had known it, he had studied it. Now, when he was desperate for it, his memory failed him.
His shoulders slumped. What would Maes say if he knew he was contemplating the taboo alchemy? He'd call him an idiot, of course. It was called taboo for a reason. He stared hard at the headstone as Gracia fell to her knees to hug Elicia, clenching his jaw again.
The soldiers and civilians alike slowly filed away until he was alone. No, not alone. He knew Riza was behind her; he could sense it. He moved closer to the fresh grave, staring down at it.
Maes, you're my closest friend. Were my closest friend. You had your reasons, but damn it! I could have helped. I could have… I should swear revenge, but I have no idea who did this to you.
His cheek twitched in the same spot Hughes had hit him. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Two lifetimes. He had a plan. He had everything figured out. That plan had kept him going during those long, sleepless nights when he was haunted by ghosts of the past.
Don't worry, old friend. I won't be putting a gun in my mouth this time.