It's four years before Polly Cooper decides to let her family back into her life. Four years and she shows up on the Cooper's doorstep unannounced, a child's hand in each of her own.
Betty is home from college for the weekend, and she opens the door, thinking it will be Archie (he comes home almost every weekend too) only to find her estranged sister staring back at her.
"Mom!" Betty calls, staring at her sister's children, not waiting for Polly to say anything. Juniper is the spitting image of a young Cheryl Blossom, and Dagwood also has the Blossom look about him, though he carries more of his mother's features.
"Who is it, Betty?" Alice calls, her heels clicking down the hall towards the door. She stops short, her eyes wide, her jaw dropping slightly when she sees who's there.
"Mom," Polly nods. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"She may as well have," Betty mutters. Polly either doesn't hear or chooses to ignore her.
Betty can tell her mom has a lot to say about the situation, but Alice keeps her mouth shut, in case Polly grabs the twins and whisks them off, never to be seen again. So Alice smiles, and Betty smiles and Polly smiles, like there has never been any bad blood between them.
Betty watches her mom carefully as she interacts with Polly. They go into the living room and sit as far away from each other as possible, both still smiling, but both stiff and tense. Betty feels the same way. She takes a seat next to her mom on the couch.
"So… this is them," Alice says looking between the twins, her voice is a little watery, but her face betrays no signs of the emotions she must be feeling.
"Yep," Polly says. "This is Juniper, and this is Dagwood," she says, gesturing to each child in turn. Alice, to her credit, manages to keep a straight face, though Betty still grimaces at the names.
"Juni, Dags, say hello to your Grandma and Aunt Betty," Polly instructs. Juniper and Dagwood comply shyly, still sticking close to their mother.
"They're very well behaved," Alice notes.
"Yes, I've had absolutely no trouble with them at all. Everyone complains about the terrible twos but mine went straight from babies to absolute angels," Polly smiles. "I guess I must be doing something right."
Alice nods with a tight-lipped smile. "And how are you?" Alice asks.
"I'm great, Mom," Polly says, and for a moment she softens. Alice nods again. "Where's Dad, by the way?"
Betty's head flips towards her mom. Alice gives betty a reassuring look.
"Hal and I are no longer married," Alice tells Polly. "The divorce was finalised last year."
"Oh."
To Betty's relief, her mom doesn't continue. If Polly finds out Alice is now dating FP, the man who helped to cover up the murder of the father of her children, Betty is not so sure her sister would stay another second.
"So, why are you here, Polly?" Betty asks the question her mom won't. Polly gives her sister a cutting look.
"I've been thinking," Polly says. "I don't think it would be totally terrible if the twins got to know their biological family. I don't want them to have any negativity in their lives, and that includes my negative feelings towards you."
Alice purses her lips. "I'd love to get to know them."
"Me too," Betty adds. However mad she is at her sister for staying away for four years, she's not going to take that out on her niece and nephew, terrible names be damned.
"Great. I thought we could start by having you guys babysit them one night a week. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great," Alice says.
"Tomorrow night then?" Polly suggests. Alice nods, and Polly nods in return. She then takes her children with the promise that she'll return tomorrow night.
"Do you really think she's coming back?" Alice asks Betty as they watch Polly bundle the twins into her car.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Despite whatever reservations Betty and Alice have, Polly does indeed return the next night to drop off the twins. She gives Alice a list of things to remember, Betty a handful of toys and tells them to call if anything goes wrong. Then she kisses each child on the head and drives away.
"Well," Alice says, turning towards her grandchildren. "Do you want pizza for dinner?"
The night, to Betty's surprise, goes off without a hitch. Despite the initial shy demeanour of Juniper and Dagwood, it doesn't take the twins long to come out of their shells, and soon Juniper is bossing Betty around while Dagwood is giving Alice long winded stories about each of his toys.
"Grandma, can we have ice cream now?" Juniper asks, interrupting her brother telling Alice how is bear had been in a car accident and had to get his brain swapped with a real bear. Betty looks over at her mom and she swears Alice could cry with happiness at being called Grandma. Betty understands the feeling. The twins have been calling her "Aunt Betty" all night, and her heart swells every time. She really thinks her niece and nephew are already starting to love her.
"Sure, you can have ice cream," Alice smiles. "But don't tell your mom, okay?" she winks, and Betty has to hold back a laugh.
After ice cream, they put Juniper and Dagwood to bed in Polly's old room, and the twins insist on being read two stories, one for each of them, before they will go to sleep.
"Okay, goodnight now," Alice says, closing the second book. "Sleep tight." She stands up from the bed and Betty follows her lead.
"Goodnight Grandma, goodnight Aunt Betty," they chorus. Betty switches off the light as she follows her mother out of the room, closing the door behind her. Alice can't keep the smile off her face.
The following babysitting session goes equally well, with Juniper and Dagwood only becoming more comfortable with their new-found family. Polly even seems to be warming up to Alice, something Betty thought she would never see.
It's the third weekend, and Betty is home again, not wanting to miss a single minute with the twins, and FP shows up not ten minutes before Polly and the twins are supposed to arrive.
"FP?" Betty frowns. "What are you doing here? If Polly sees you she'll freak out," Betty reminds him.
"You've got the twins tonight?" FP asks, seemingly confused. "Alice and I were meant to go and see that play she said she's been dying to see."
"Is that Polly?" Alice calls.
"It's FP!" Betty calls back. "Apparently you're supposed to have a date!" There's a moment of silence before Betty hears her mom running towards them.
"Oh my god," she says. "I completely forgot! I'm so sorry," she says to FP as she reaches the door. "Come inside," she says, pulling him inside. FP gives her a quick kiss while Betty shuts the door behind him.
"I'm really sorry," Alice repeats.
"Hey, fine by me," FP grins. "I didn't want to see it that much anyway."
"Aren't these those tickets you've had for months?" Betty reminds her. "The ones that were really hard to get?"
"Yes, Betty," Alice rolls her eyes. "I'm not sure what you want me to do. I can't just desert my grandchildren. Polly might never let me see them again."
"You should go," Betty tells her mom. "I can look after them."
"Alone?" Alice says dubiously.
"Hey, she's a big girl," FP says. "I'm sure she can handle it."
Alice doesn't look convinced.
"I'll ask Archie to come and help me," Betty says. Alice makes a face. "Come on! It will be fine!"
The doorbell rings.
"That will be Polly," Betty says to FP. "You better hide."
"You sound just like your mother when we first started dating and she didn't want anyone to know," FP jokes. Betty just pushes him into the kitchen. Alice goes to answer the door. Betty hears the twins joyful hello to their grandma and the sound of two pairs of little feet running into the house. Polly doesn't stick around long, just dropping the kids of and leaving. Maybe she's not warming up to Alice after all.
Alice appears in the kitchen with Juniper and Dagwood in tow.
"Who's that?" asks Dagwood.
"That's a man who you can never mention to your mother," Alice tells them.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Juniper sings. "Does that mean he's our grandpa?"
"No, don't be silly," Alice says. FP laughs delightedly. Alice shakes her head and turns to Betty. "Are you sure you're okay with looking after them on your own?" Alice bites her lip.
"Of course," Betty says, more confidently than she feels. Alice looks at FP, who shrugs. Alice looks back at Betty.
"Call Archie," Alice tells her. "And I'll go and get ready."
It's only been a week since Betty last saw Archie, but she feels like she's missed him all the same.
He shows up on the doorstep a minute after Betty calls him, after insisting that she wasn't putting him out or getting in the way of other plans. He's wearing a form fitting sweater and Betty thinks she's able to get in a sneaky glance down his body without him noticing. She may have a small crush on him again. It's no big deal.
"Hey," she says, unable to stop her smile from taking over her entire face.
"Hey," Archie grins back. "I hear you have some children that need looking after."
"That I do," Betty says.
"You called the right man for the job," says Archie. "I know absolutely nothing about children."
Betty lets out a tinkling laugh and steps aside so he can come in. She leads him to the living room where Juniper and Dagwood are interrogating FP about his intentions with their grandmother.
"And make sure you have her home at a reasonable time," Juniper is telling him.
"Of course, ma'am," FP says. He looks up at Betty and Archie. "Where do they get this stuff?"
"Well it can't be TV," Betty says snarkily. "I don't think cults allow TV."
"Sick burn," FP says. "Hey, Archie."
"Mr. Jones," Archie nods.
"What's a cult?" asks Dagwood. "And who's that?"
"This is Archie," Betty tells them, choosing to answer the easier question. A second later Alice is breezing into the living room, wearing a black dress and heels.
"Hi, Mrs. Cooper," Archie says.
"Please don't call me that," Alice grimaces. "Nice to see you, Archie. Ready, FP?" FP nods and stands up from the couch.
"Bye, kids," he says. Alice gestures for them to come over to her.
"Be nice to Aunt Betty and Archie, okay?" she says, squatting down to their level. They nod and she gives each of them a kiss on the head. "Have fun!" she calls as FP grabs her hand and leads her out of the house.
"Can we have ice cream?" Juniper asks as soon as Alice and FP are gone.
The twins fall into an easy rapport with Archie, probably going off Betty's example. Archie plays with them in the living room with the toy cars Dagwood has brought with him, while Betty gets dinner ready.
She wanders into the living room when the spaghetti is done and finds Archie lying on the ground, Dagwood rolling cars over his chest and Juniper tying tiny elastics into his hair. Betty smiles fondly at the scene before her, and she almost can't bring herself to tell them dinner is ready. Juniper looks up and notices her standing there.
"Aunt Betty, I'm going to be a hairdresser when I grow up," she says.
"Is that so?" Betty laughs.
"Does it look good?" asks Archie.
"You look beautiful," Betty tells him, holding back her laughter.
"Can I do your hair?" Juniper asks.
"Sure," Betty tells her. "But after dinner. It's ready now."
Archie sits up, his hair sticking out in all the places Juniper has tied elastics.
"Ready for dinner?" he asks Dagwood. Dagwood nods and Archie grabs the boy as he stands up and swings him over his shoulder. "Let's go!"
"Ohh carry me too!" Juniper begs.
"Aunt Betty?" Archie looks to Betty.
"No! I want you to carry me Uncle Archie!"
Betty is not surprised the kids love Archie. It's hard not to love him. She is surprised at the use of the word uncle. No one had told them to call him that. But Archie doesn't even bat an eye at being called uncle.
"I can't carry you both!" he tells Juniper. "I'll have to come back for you," he says. Juniper pouts, but she stays where she is until Archie comes back for her.
After dinner, they decide to put on a movie. Juniper and Dagwood want to watch Frozen, and Archie and Betty don't, so they compromise and watch Frozen. It's just easier that way. Juniper does Betty's hair until Let It Go comes on, when she decides she needs to put on her own performance of the song. Betty laughs as Archie joins in, though he doesn't quite know the words as well as Juni does.
The twins seem to get bored of the movie after that, and want to chat. Well, they want to chat with Archie. But that's okay with Betty, she likes watching him interact with them. He's so good with them, so patient. He's going to make a great dad someday.
"Uncle Archie, where do you live?" Dagwood asks.
"I live next door," Archie answers.
"Do you have a dog?" Juniper asks.
Archie laughs, shaking his head. "I did once but he died," he says.
"My rabbit died," Dagwood tells him.
"Is that so, Dagwood?" Archie says interestedly. "Do you have a nickname, Dagwood?"
"Mom sometimes calls me Dags," Dagwood says.
"Mom calls me Juni or June!" Juniper interjects. "But I wish I was called Elsa."
"We can call you Elsa if you like," Betty says. Anything is better than Juniper.
"Can you call me Sword Monster?" Dagwood asks.
"Absolutely," Archie laughs.
"What should we call you then?" Juniper questions.
"You can call me Uncle Archie," Archie says.
"When are you going to get married?" Juniper asks. Archie raises his eyebrows.
"I don't know," he says. "Do you think I need to get married soon?"
"Yes!" Juniper says. "I want to come to the wedding! Can I be your flower girl Aunt Betty?"
"What?" Betty says, confused. She hadn't thought she was a part of this conversation. She's quite happy listening to Archie answer their ridiculous questions.
"Can I be your flower girl when you marry Archie?"
Oh, Betty thinks, turning pink. The twins think she and Archie are a couple. That's why they're calling him uncle. She's not sure how to break it to them that they're not.
"Well…" Betty starts, looking to Archie for help. He's looking at her just as expectantly as the twins though. "Maybe we should discuss this another time," she finally settles on. "I think it's time for you two to get to bed."
"Noo!" Juniper and Dagwood chorus.
"Yes!" Betty insists. "If you go to bed now then Uncle Archie will read you a story."
"Two stories," Dagwood barters.
"Two stories," Betty agrees. The twins seem pleased with this deal, and hurry upstairs to brush their teeth.
Betty and Archie follow them up, and tuck them into bed. Juniper hands Archie a book to read and he sits on the end of the bed to read it. Betty sits beside him on the bed, her legs folded under her. She's unable to keep a smile from creeping across her face as she listens to Archie read, putting on different voices, Juniper and Dagwood watching on intently. He finishes the book and puts it down.
"Okay, what's the next book?" he asks.
"We don't have another one," Dagwood says.
"Make one up!" Juniper demands.
"Uh, okay," Archie says, looking at Betty nervously. "Once upon a time there was… a princess," he starts. Betty watches him struggle, amused. "The princess was the kindest and most beautiful girl in all the land."
"What was her name?"
"Um. Elizabeth," Archie says. "Princess Elizabeth was best friend with the prince from the neighbouring kingdom. When they were young they promised each other they would get married as soon as they were old enough.
But as the years went by, the prince began to realise that the princess could find a much better husband than him. And besides that, he thought there was a lot he had to do before he got married."
"Like fight dragons and save damsels in distress?" Juniper asks.
"Something like that."
"Did he have a sword?" asks Dagwood.
"Of course."
The twins fall silent again and Archie continues.
"So the princess asked him to marry her when they were old enough, but he said no," he looks to Betty. She looks away. Why is he telling them this story? Why is he bringing up what happened all those years ago? She's long forgiven him, he knows that.
"Does this story have a happy ending?" Betty asks him.
"I hope it does," Archie swallows.
"Don't interrupt!" Juniper tells Betty. "What did the stupid prince do next?"
Betty laughs at that, and Archie makes a face somewhere between amusement and pain.
"He went off and fought dragons and saved damsels in distress," Archie says. "But he couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened if he'd married the princess."
Betty's heart clenches.
"So once all the damsels were saved and the dragons were defeated, he came back to the kingdom to see if she would still marry him."
"And did she?" Juniper asks. Archie looks to Betty. She slips her hand into his and gives it a squeeze.
"Yes," Betty finishes the story. Archie grins and looks back at the twins.
"And they lived happily ever after," he concludes.
"That story was dumb," Dagwood says. Archie laughs.
"Sorry guys, that's all I've got," Archie shrugs.
"Okay, you got your stories, time to go to sleep now," Betty tells them. She stands up, Archie's hand still in hers. "Goodnight," she says to the twins.
"Goodnight Aunt Betty, Goodnight Uncle Archie," they chorus back. Archie gives them a fond smile and Betty leads him from the room, not sure what she's going to say to him once they're alone.
"Safe to say you won't be writing any children's books any time soon," she jokes, once the door to Polly's old room is closed.
"Betty," Archie says. She turns to him, and he pulls her closer, using the hands they still have intertwined. Betty's stomach lurches. He touches his forehead to hers and Betty closes her eyes, tilting her head up, letting out a sigh of contentment. He kisses her then, softly, and Betty kisses him back. It only lasts a few second before they both pull away, though they don't put any distance between one another.
"Archie?" Betty whispers.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think we should get married just yet," she smiles, and Archie chuckles.
"No, you're probably right," he agrees. "One day, though."