The Autobiography of Kemp Hurley (Kemp is in bold and Derrick is in Italic.)
Okay first of all my name is Kemp Jay Hurley and-
Hold up a second. Kemp your middle name is Brandon. Where the hell did you get the name Jay? Come on what were you thinking? A bird? Oh and i am Derrick Sean Nathaniel Harrington,
Shut up Harrington. Okay so I was born in the wonderful 's pretty obvious.
He's telling the truth. I thought i would never live to see the day. I was Born here too!
Derrick shut the hell up, this is my auto-bibliography- not yours. IT Say's Kemp not Der-rick. Get the picture? Because if you don't then the picture must be pretty blurry.
Kemp my boy. This is an Autobiography not a Autobibliography. How can you get that mixed up?
Just ignore that. He is just Jealous.
Oh so now I'm a that? I'm hurt truly i am.
& what am i jealous of?
Everything now shush. Just let me finish. I'll go crazy if i don't go crazy tonight.
Hurley that's a U2 song.
What is? Ugh why am i even talking to you?
'I'll go crazy if i don't go crazy tonight' is a song by U2. Dude your so lame you say stuff that isn't even cool. It's always a song title.
Derrick shut your trap or I'll shoot you with the 21 Gun's i have in my closet.
Kemp you did it again. 21 Guns is a Green Day song. & You don't have any guns.
Okay on with me.I'm on the Tomahawks soccer team and I'm the best player and im the star of the soccer team.
Wait Wait Wait. Stop. Rewind. Okay now you! oh god you were not the best player I was and if you cut out Goalie then Cam was. Plus everyone know;s I'm the soccer star.
Whatever everyone knows Chris Plovert aka Gay wad.
No offense. Well he is to gentle. He's like that little bear that sell's fabric softener.
Why would you say ' No offense' obviously he is going to take offense to it. But your to gentle to.
You and Plovert are like twins. && your a total softy, you turned all lovey Dovey. By who you may ask Two gigantic Humongous humungo bi-
Dude just get on with it.
Let me finish. Big,Huge, bignormous words. Kristen Gregory. May i say more?
No you may not say Derrick. Just spare me my life. But you may say one more word. Which is the word 'BYE.'
I don't spare anyones life, except Massie. uhm i mean Block. & I'm not going anywhere.
Okay so, me and Kristen life each other alot and-
How do you know she likes you? The Perv of all Pervs? the Weirdo's of all Weirdos?
the Jerk of all Jerks?
I'm feeling the love Derrick. Thank you. Thank you very much.
My Pleasure Bro.
I was kidding. So now what should we talk about? hmm
How about how you changed everyone on the soccer teams grade by hacking in to the grading system.
I never did that Derrick. What are you talking about? I think your going cookoo.
Dude you did do that. And i am not going Coo-Koo.
NO! I didn't. What are you talking about.?
I'm talking about You. You hacked into Briarwood-Octavian Country Day high schools grading system & changed every-ones grade on the soccer team. But you were doing it because everyone was flunking except me,Plovert,Cam,Josh, and you.
I didn't do that? what kind of person do you think i am?
Uh-mm the type of person who would do that.
I would never do such a it!
Okay, well Todd Lyon's. You know him well he recorded you bragging to us, what you did. It's quiet entertaining really.
Okay lets for get about it.
Yeah that's not so easy considering you costed us the PLAY-OFF's.
Dude you know it would happen anyways because everyone but you,me,Josh, Cam and Plovert were flunking.
Kemp you don't realize what you did. YOU costed us THE PLAYOFF's. It's pretty simple to understand. If we went we went we would have won adn went to THE SOCCER TOURNAMENT.
ARGGHH.
Calm your roll. Dude you need to learn self control. Now calm down before you turn into the Hulk or something.
Im going to talk about my self now.
why?
Okay so you know Dylan right?
aka PIG
Exactly. Well she isn't you cup of tea, Trust me i went out with her.
Kemp are you like going to give us your point of view on everyone of out friends.?
Uh is Josh
Oh Boy!
So Josh , well he is not you average good guy.
Obviously if he hangs with us, then he is not quote on quote 'Good Guy' end quote.
Dude but Cam, he is a good guy.
No Cam is both. It's possible you know.
Who cares. Now on to Massie.
okay?
So Massie, well Massie of course was and is the hottest gil in/at bad she's dating Landon the Great.
There is nothing great about him.
I sense Jealousy.
I am not Jealous.
Uh yeah you are. Just stop resisting it.
I'm not resisting it. The only thing I'm resisting here is punching you in the face.
Whoa bro lets not get violent. Violence doesn't solve anything.
Okay then im going to hire someone and have them punch you for me. Or maybe kill you.
That's still violence.
Fine i wont be violent. I will just cut all of your 'curly' hair off.
NO! NO! NO! Not the beautiful golden locks.
Kemp your hair is brown NOT golden.
It is an expression.
No an expression is when you make a happy face or when you frown.
Derrick i might break my no violence rule and end up punching you in your supposedly perfect face.
Supposedly perfect? Ask everyone you know and they'll say it's perfect.
I mean look at me, aren't I glowing?
D, don't ever say that again.
fag-get say what?
What?
what? wow Kemp. your gay. what next? Are you gonna start dating Zac Efron?
N-No!
Good because he is to good looking for you!
And you know this how?
Date Massie, then be quizzed on him. You'll pass i promise. Then you'll be comparing yourself to him everyday. It's quiet sad really.
Um okay?
No, I'm not kidding, She talks about him 24/7. I dreamt about him 7 days in a row because of her.
Dang man, 7 days in a row? What happened? I'm interested.
Well don't be because I'm not telling.
Fine. Now Derrick.
I'm right here. I can say things my self.
It's my point of view. Now shut your yap.
What ever you say prince fag alot.
So Derrick. He is everything a girl could ask for. Athletic. Good looking. Popular. The list goes on and on. Guess where the list stops?
where?
The Block Residence.
uh no, it doesnt stop at all.
whatever you say. So you may ask or say. 'Nothings wrong with him? he's oerfect. He's done nothing wrong.
Except he has.
Don't say It!
Derrick Harrington, well he has jacked has principals car and drove it all the way to Mr. Stephen's house.
Which is all the way in New Jersey. (They live in NYC) And once he set 3 pigs off into the school. It was funny because he put the number's 1,2 and 4 on a pig. On e number per pig. And the staff was running all over the school, trying to catch the pigs and looking for pig number was funny as hell. But this other time-
Thats enough !!!
This other time he pulled the fire another time he made-out with Massie in the principals this other time he hired someone to put pron on the vice principals computer.
and-
Dude Kemp it is not called 'Talk about Everything Derrick Harrington has done-at BOCD'
It's your move on to someone else.
so demanding. Next is Cameron Fisher.
Not much to say except he is awesome.
Kemp your a loser.
Then next is Alicia Rivera. Second hottest girl at BOCD cool. Then there's my precious Kristen Gregory.
She's not yours.
YET! Well she is perfect in every way. But i have to break her up with Dempsey.
Count Me Out!
Please Man!
Dude you just told people every bad thing I've done. well almost.
Come on! Im sorry
FINE!! This is the last time.
You got it.
Are you done with your autobiography yet??
um, No I still have one or three people for my Point of View.
well get on with it.
Claire Lyons. Cam and Her are Perfect for and she is cool.
I agree with you.
Landon hates him. Um-mm, he play football. Well he's star of the football team.
To sum it all up... He is a Beta, to Alpha status.
Okay. But I'm ALPHA!
Uh-Huh. Last but not least... ME! One word I'm Awesome. I'm so Awesome.
Sure sure. what ever you say.
Well this is the end of Kemp Brandon Hurley's Autobiography. Am I Awesome or what?
Yes Kemp your Awesome.
Thank You. Well Peace.
Oh and I am an Amazing helper.
Derrick Sean Nathaniel Harrington, IS AWESOME!!!
Stay tuned for more of Kemp Brandon Hurley.
DO-NT STAY TUNED. STOP LISTENING.
No don't li-
PEACE DUDE
Stay tuned for more of the Autobiography Clique Edition.
REVIEW. Pwetty Pwease with ZAC EFRON awn top! YUM.
La La Love; Gabby